Lionclub2001 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Obviously a past crimminal record even if it is only one offense is important information that a date needs to know. Most people consider it a deal-breaker and would not feel comfortable dating someone who has a crimminal record. That is certainly their right. It is even worse if a person lies by omission by not telling them and just waiting for them to find out on their own. Lying by omission is a greater dealbreaker than having a crimminal record. If you have a crimminal record you can either tell your date upfront as early as possible or take a chance of them finding out and then get dumped for lying by omission whereas you might have had a chance if you told them on your own early. Do you think the first date would be a good time to tell a woman about a petty theft crime I committed at age 7? Even the first date might be too long to wait. I should probably tell her on the phone before the date. Waiting until the first date to tell her might piss her off as she might think to herself that if she had known that information before the date she wouldn't have wasted her time going out on even 1 date with me. Actually lying by omission about a crimminal record could put a man in danger of a rape charge if the dates progress to sex. Lying whether directly or by omission to get a woman in bed is a form of rape. Why? Because it is denying her the right to make an informed decision before sleeping with me. If she would not have slept with me had she known certain information then the consenual sex doesn't really count. Lying by omission is when one purposely does not reveal certain information about themselves when they have reason to believe that the other person is going to get a different impression of who they are. That's why it can lead to a rape charge. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 You were stealing at 7? Gangster! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Obviously a past crimminal record even if it is only one offense is important information that a date needs to know. Most people consider it a deal-breaker and would not feel comfortable dating someone who has a crimminal record. That is certainly their right. It is even worse if a person lies by omission by not telling them and just waiting for them to find out on their own. Lying by omission is a greater dealbreaker than having a crimminal record. If you have a crimminal record you can either tell your date upfront as early as possible or take a chance of them finding out and then get dumped for lying by omission whereas you might have had a chance if you told them on your own early. Do you think the first date would be a good time to tell a woman about a petty theft crime I committed at age 7? Even the first date might be too long to wait. I should probably tell her on the phone before the date. Waiting until the first date to tell her might piss her off as she might think to herself that if she had known that information before the date she wouldn't have wasted her time going out on even 1 date with me. Actually lying by omission about a crimminal record could put a man in danger of a rape charge if the dates progress to sex. Lying whether directly or by omission to get a woman in bed is a form of rape. Why? Because it is denying her the right to make an informed decision before sleeping with me. If she would not have slept with me had she known certain information then the consenual sex doesn't really count. Lying by omission is when one purposely does not reveal certain information about themselves when they have reason to believe that the other person is going to get a different impression of who they are. That's why it can lead to a rape charge. A petty theft at 7 shouldn't end up with you having a criminal record. Did you mean at 17? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionclub2001 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 I stole bubble gum from the store one time when I was 7. After that I never committed any crimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I stole bubble gum from the store one time when I was 7. After that I never committed any crimes. lol I don't think you need to worry about your "criminal record" being a dealbreaker 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 First, bubble gum. Next, the Bank. There's no stopping you. Seriously, I wouldn't worry. At all. We all have those stories, don't we? Don't we? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionclub2001 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Ok then for the sake of those reading who have past crimes when is the best time to tell a date? Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Ok then for the sake of those reading who have past crimes when is the best time to tell a date? First date. After makes more sense if you want to see the person again but I'm not sure one needs to tell every one they have a criminal record right away Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I'd wait until she asks you if you've ever been arrested or in jail. I was arrested for theft in my 20's (twice! same 'crime'!) and it's one the funniest stories I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 3rd date considering about 80% of people you meet won't make to a 3rd date anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 If someone told me they had a criminal record...at 7...for stealing bubble gum, I'd cry with laughter. Now 17 and up is a different story...Quick question, did you get the top bunk?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Ummmm pretty sure no one would give 2 ****s about petty theft especially if it was that long ago. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
youknow Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I just tell them when it comes up, which it does at some point. Though its never been an issue with anyone I have dated.... I don't think I would want to date someone so ignorant that they would not understand that mistakes made years ago as a young adult are anything more then mistakes which I have since learned from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionclub2001 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 I just tell them when it comes up, which it does at some point. Though its never been an issue with anyone I have dated.... I don't think I would want to date someone so ignorant that they would not understand that mistakes made years ago as a young adult are anything more then mistakes which I have since learned from. I agree with you but unfortunately we don't live in a society that believes in 2nd chances. Some past actions have permanent consequences even after one serves their time in jail and has learned from their mistakes. Just as it will be that much harder for those with a past criminal record to find a job it becomes that much harder to get a date too. The consequences imposed from society do not erase just because one learns from their mistakes and has been transformed. Even Walmart has a bulletin posting about the serious consequences of shoplifting. It says even if you shoplift just one time you will have a criminal record that will haunt you for the rest of your life. That is even after serving time in jail. It is way different from traffic infractions on a driving record. Those infraction points drop off after a certain number of years and you get a clean slate. That's why it isn't necessary to tell potential dates about past speeding tickets. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I agree with you but unfortunately we don't live in a society that believes in 2nd chances. Some past actions have permanent consequences even after one serves their time in jail and has learned from their mistakes. Just as it will be that much harder for those with a past criminal record to find a job it becomes that much harder to get a date too. The consequences imposed from society do not erase just because one learns from their mistakes and has been transformed. Even Walmart has a bulletin posting about the serious consequences of shoplifting. It says even if you shoplift just one time you will have a criminal record that will haunt you for the rest of your life. That is even after serving time in jail. It is way different from traffic infractions on a driving record. Those infraction points drop off after a certain number of years and you get a clean slate. That's why it isn't necessary to tell potential dates about past speeding tickets. I agree with what you're saying and I understand wholeheartedly. But the mentality of a 7yr old is not the same as the mentality of an 18 yr old and so on. Getting in trouble at 7 is way different than 17+. By that time you should understand fairly well that actions have consequences, whether they are positive or negative. If a woman I was dating told me she was arrested for stealing at 25, there might not be a second date. This tells me she makes rash and poor decisions in her personal life, and may even steal from me. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 i dont believe you can get a criminal record from doing that......you should have if caught received a warning at 7...... i think and feel if the crime is recent and the criminal record only recent that its necessary to tell a date......asap...especially......crimes against women or children....or crimes that included violence of any sort.....drink driving would be one as well......taking drugs should be disclosed really early in the dating sphere and crimes because of drug taking........ if you have left a life of crime behind you ...then it is up to the woman to decide whether or not she feels you are really rehabilitated.....most women would take serious crimes as a no go zone...... one thing i know or one good rule to follow.....dont steal a woman's or a man's heart before you tell her what or who you really are...to me that is a far worse crime, the crime of omission to obtain favor that is fake belief and trust in anothers eyes...does not instill the start of an open honest relationship.....nor does it give rise to longevity stealing a stick of bubblegum......at 7....is hardly a concern for any woman i feel....best wishes..deb Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Well, you will not have a criminal record for something you did at 7 years old If you have a criminal record, you tell them when they have enough information to do a background check on you. In other words, when they get your last name. Link to post Share on other sites
youknow Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I agree with you but unfortunately we don't live in a society that believes in 2nd chances. Some past actions have permanent consequences even after one serves their time in jail and has learned from their mistakes. Just as it will be that much harder for those with a past criminal record to find a job it becomes that much harder to get a date too. The consequences imposed from society do not erase just because one learns from their mistakes and has been transformed. Even Walmart has a bulletin posting about the serious consequences of shoplifting. It says even if you shoplift just one time you will have a criminal record that will haunt you for the rest of your life. That is even after serving time in jail. It is way different from traffic infractions on a driving record. Those infraction points drop off after a certain number of years and you get a clean slate. That's why it isn't necessary to tell potential dates about past speeding tickets. Ahh well maybe in the USA it is different to where I am from, but I have never had a problem gaining employment or with dating, or maybe I am just lucky people see me for who I am now and not who I was 10+ years ago Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Hardcore OP, I didn't steal my first candybar till I was at least 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 (edited) Ummmm pretty sure no one would give 2 ****s about petty theft especially if it was that long ago. Agree, also have you even looked into your record? Doing something at seven there shouldn't be a record left at all. I had a record at 17 that has been long since been cleared four years after. I did probation and now it doesn't exist. And what I did was hardcore I never share what that was but it def could of got me life in prison. So stealing something at seven I don't even think it would be there anymore and if it is you can have it cleared. Edited March 7, 2015 by Omei Link to post Share on other sites
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