Fairly new to this

[mstie]

I am 37, have only been dating 2 years after a 7 year break. But before that had only been on three dates, no relationship. Was a virgin til 35.

 

I am a big girl. Heaviest was 400, had such a horrible body image. When I got down to 300 I went online. I've had some men flirt with me in the real world but nothing ever comes of it. I'm still overweight but I've come so far.

 

I also like to think I'm wiser. I started by going with my feelings. Believing the sweet words. I did the fwb thing. Had the guy not ready for a relationship, so on and so forth.

 

So now I've been on two dates with a totally sweet guy. He's super outgoing, I'm horribly shy. He has a band, a business, works in radio. He's popular. He hasn't made the move on me, he hugged me at the end of our second date and texted me the next day.

 

The thing. I know I haven't known him long but of course I Google him. His wife of ten years died in a horrible car accident 2 years ago. He mentioned his wife last night. I let it go. He hasn't said anything about it to me, which I understand, he'll tell me if he wants to. His Facebook page is full of stuff about her. She was gorgeous and seemingly outgoing. Unlike plain, boring me.

 

I worry about this. I know it's still early.

[Satu]

I am 37, have only been dating 2 years after a 7 year break. But before that had only been on three dates, no relationship. Was a virgin til 35.

 

I am a big girl. Heaviest was 400, had such a horrible body image. When I got down to 300 I went online. I've had some men flirt with me in the real world but nothing ever comes of it. I'm still overweight but I've come so far.

 

I also like to think I'm wiser. I started by going with my feelings. Believing the sweet words. I did the fwb thing. Had the guy not ready for a relationship, so on and so forth.

 

So now I've been on two dates with a totally sweet guy. He's super outgoing, I'm horribly shy. He has a band, a business, works in radio. He's popular. He hasn't made the move on me, he hugged me at the end of our second date and texted me the next day.

 

The thing. I know I haven't known him long but of course I Google him. His wife of ten years died in a horrible car accident 2 years ago. He mentioned his wife last night. I let it go. He hasn't said anything about it to me, which I understand, he'll tell me if he wants to. His Facebook page is full of stuff about her. She was gorgeous and seemingly outgoing. *Unlike plain, boring me.

 

I worry about this. I know it's still early.

 

*Don't say things like that about yourself, that's very toxic language, and its almost like putting a curse on yourself.

 

Because he lost is wife in such a tragic way it's going to take him a long time to do his grieving, but that doesn't make any less of you, and it doesn't mean that nothing can grow between you and him.

 

Keep an open mind and an open heart.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Satu

[d0nnivain]

It's been two dates & he's just coming back from a tragedy.

 

Can you plan & initiate the 3rd date?