Suddenly nothing? Not sure what happened?

[plutos]

Been going out for a month now. Everything had been going great and I had the impression we were both building towards something. On Sunday she texted me asking if I wanted to do something but I was out and didn't respond till late. She said it was too late to meet but wanted to reschedule for something at my place for Monday.

 

Monday comes and she texts me early that she's feeling pretty ill but is still coming into work since she couldn't find someone to cover. She takes the bus and it's still freezing so instead of just canceling the date, I offer a simple dinner (was her turn to pay) then to drive her home after. She accepts, we do it, and she thanks me as she's dropped off home.

 

I get home around 20 mins later and get a text from her saying she enjoyed the time and goodnight. I respond with the same. In the AM I leave a voice mail just saying I hope she's feeling better and hopefully we can meet then blah blah. But since then, nothing. No texts, no calls, nada. Just some prior context, we were sending 2-3 texts daily prior.

 

I'm just wondering, what could have happened? Did I screw up somewhere?

Edited March 5, 2015 by plutos

[Vintage79]

Who knows if it is screwed up - there's not enough information to really know - all that you've effectively said is that she seems to like spending time with you and that she didn't respond to a call - ONCE! I now that I'm pretty bad with texting and phone when I'm sick. If she's the same, she may have forgotten about the message if it took her a couple of days to mend (not an awesome sign, but not necessarily a big deal either). I don't see any harm in texting her or calling her again - just don't spam her. Moreover, in calling or texting, basically pretend that the other call didn't exist or happen (i.e. don't start asking why she didn't respond) - assume everything is fine - sound upbeat, propose something definitive and concrete (or whatever norm is), and go with it...pretend that the other call didn't exist. If she doesn't answer/respond, you have more information to work with.

 

The key to this is assuming everything is fine, and not asking questions about why she didn't respond, don't ask questions about if she's breaking up, or anything like that - totally not the signs you want to send.

[GTR King]

How long has she not texted you?

 

You did nothing wrong at all

 

Dose she like texting or is she not a texting person?

[badpenny]

You know.... when you're ill, you really don't feel like even lifting your head off the pillow.... it's possible she's just not feeling at all well, and is incommunicado because of that.

[Gary S]

You really don't have a solid relationship for two months.

 

Just keep fishing.... nothing can take your mind off a girl like a new lady can!

[plutos]

So she texted me with a 'what's up' today. Literally that was it, as if she didn't recieve my previous texts and VM. Like it's ok to just not respond to someone who was concerned about your health.

 

Maybe I'm being petty but I'm not gonna reply. Guess I sorta answered my own dilemma. Thx anyway.

[GTR King]

Id say text her again & see where it goes. she came back to you which is good. If she's been ill she might of not used her phone etc.

[Vintage79]

So she texted me with a 'what's up' today. Literally that was it, as if she didn't recieve my previous texts and VM. Like it's ok to just not respond to someone who was concerned about your health.

 

Maybe I'm being petty but I'm not gonna reply. Guess I sorta answered my own dilemma. Thx anyway.

 

You must not be that into her - time to move on. I'd personally give a person a pass on responsiveness if they were genuinely ill, but at least you made up your mind and put together a definitive answer. Now get out there and find someone else!

[plutos]

Just curious I had checked her FB page and she had been using it for the last two days at least

 

Sooooo yeah, I think it personally settles that. Will prob delete her number in just a bit

 

But like Vintage said I guess I gotta just keep trying. Just keep swimming.

[writergal]

Why don't people ever use the phone anymore? She owed you a return phone call, plutos. Yes, it's only been one month but manners are timeless. If she has bad manners regarding communication this early on, well, that's a preview of what something long-term with her is like.

 

I used to date this guy who refused to answer any question I asked him directly -- especially when it involved personal questions. I thought that was so rude, too! Like, doing that implied that his feelings were more important than mine. Um, excuse me, you asked me out, remember?! I dumped him after a month of that behavior. It was so rude. He'd either completely ignore the question I ask, or he'd give a totally random answer.

 

She doesn't sound that into you, the way she communicates.

[plutos]

This is a new account but I've been coming to this place for a while now. In all seroiusness, where are the mature women like you writergal around my area? I get the impression you're older than I am as I'm 25 but I can't seem to find someone who is on the same wavelength.

 

I've dated maybe a dozen women in the last 4-5 months, it's getting pretty damn demoalizing admittedly.

[writergal]

This is a new account but I've been coming to this place for a while now. In all seroiusness, where are the mature women like you writergal around my area? I get the impression you're older than I am as I'm 25 but I can't seem to find someone who is on the same wavelength.

 

I've dated maybe a dozen women in the last 4-5 months, it's getting pretty damn demoalizing admittedly.

 

I'm an old lady plutos, 44 years old. Keep trying. Eventually you'll meet the right gal who reciprocates communication and interest level.