Vixen32 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Ok - I'm curious to know how much contact people typically have with the person they're dating after they've been seeing each other for a month or two. By contact, I mean frequency of dates/how many times you see them/week, how frequently you contact them via text or phone, when you're not with each other. How does this evolve? I'm in the situation where I've been seeing someone for about a month and we've gotten together 7-8 times. There's some making out, slept together a few times, and have had sex once. I'm just trying to avoid coming across as either too distant or too needy. I'm going to chat with them next time I see them about what level of contact they like, but thought I'd see what the norm is. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 For me (female), text every other day and meet up once a week is good. Less than that is not ideal. Can be more frequent. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 In the beginning, I usually keep it to 1x a week dates and the occasional communication. However, after the first month, things naturally increase. She starts reaching out more, I take the hint and plan more dates, etc.. It's a natural progression. But in general, I really value my independence. So I'd like a woman that was cool spending 2-3 days a week doing her own thing with friends, hobbies, etc.. Also, I've never felt the need to have daily communication. I mean if my routine is pretty much the same day to day, do I really need to check in and tell you about it? Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 In the beginning, I usually keep it to 1x a week dates and the occasional communication. However, after the first month, things naturally increase. She starts reaching out more, I take the hint and plan more dates, etc.. It's a natural progression. But in general, I really value my independence. So I'd like a woman that was cool spending 2-3 days a week doing her own thing with friends, hobbies, etc.. Also, I've never felt the need to have daily communication. I mean if my routine is pretty much the same day to day, do I really need to check in and tell you about it? Occasional communication like once every 2 or 3 days? and if things don't increase after 2 or 3 month..what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Occasional communication like once every 2 or 3 days? and if things don't increase after 2 or 3 month..what to do? Well based on my personal experience, I've come to realize that women are a lot like cats. They come and go as they please, and need time to warm up to you. If you over pursue or give too much attention, it's secretly a turn off. So the best thing a guy can do in the beginning is plan one date a week. Then let her initiate communication if she wants to talk before then. As she gets more emotionally invested, she'll reach out more with cute texts and the guy leads planning more dates. Pursuing to achieve an emotional connection comes from a place of feminine energy. Masculine energy is to take action. So when a guy gets emotionally needy and contacts her all the time, he is essentially becoming the woman in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Well based on my personal experience, I've come to realize that women are a lot like cats. They come and go as they please, and need time to warm up to you. If you over pursue or give too much attention, it's secretly a turn off. So the best thing a guy can do in the beginning is plan one date a week. Then let her initiate communication if she wants to talk before then. As she gets more emotionally invested, she'll reach out more with cute texts and the guy leads planning more dates. Pursuing to achieve an emotional connection comes from a place of feminine energy. Masculine energy is to take action. So when a guy gets emotionally needy and contacts her all the time, he is essentially becoming the woman in the relationship. I tend to assume guy is not interested if he doesn't contact for 3 days? And obviously I can't ask him straight so what can a woman do Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I tend to assume guy is not interested if he doesn't contact for 3 days? And obviously I can't ask him straight so what can a woman do A smart guy that's good with women will realize that your cute attempt to reach out is your way of saying "Ask me out'. So it's actually a great way to test his real interest level. For example, you have a great first date. Over the next few days, you send the guy a quick text saying "Thanks for a great time the other night!" If he's interested he'll take the hint and ask you out again. Now I am not saying a guy should never reach out first. If I don't hear from a woman in 3-5 days hinting at wanting another date, I'll call her and plan the next one. But think back honestly. When you truly liked a guy and were feeling butterflies for him, you enjoyed reaching out to him and letting him know that you were thinking about him. So this crap women say about "if a guy doesn't contact me first, I move on" is BS. If you like a guy, you won't let him vanish just like if I like a woman, I show it by repeatedly asking her out when she gets in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 A smart guy that's good with women will realize that your cute attempt to reach out is your way of saying "Ask me out'. So it's actually a great way to test his real interest level. For example, you have a great first date. Over the next few days, you send the guy a quick text saying "Thanks for a great time the other night!" If he's interested he'll take the hint and ask you out again. Now I am not saying a guy should never reach out first. If I don't hear from a woman in 3-5 days hinting at wanting another date, I'll call her and plan the next one. But think back honestly. When you truly liked a guy and were feeling butterflies for him, you enjoyed reaching out to him and letting him know that you were thinking about him. So this crap women say about "if a guy doesn't contact me first, I move on" is BS. If you like a guy, you won't let him vanish just like if I like a woman, I show it by repeatedly asking her out when she gets in touch. Wih my current guy, last conversation was 2 days ago and was initiated by me. It ended cuz he didn't reply to my last message. So.. I Can only wait for him to text me now then ? Feel like it's his turn Link to post Share on other sites
hyperion83 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Wih my current guy, last conversation was 2 days ago and was initiated by me. It ended cuz he didn't reply to my last message. So.. I Can only wait for him to text me now then ? Feel like it's his turn What was your last text? Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Wih my current guy, last conversation was 2 days ago and was initiated by me. It ended cuz he didn't reply to my last message. So.. I Can only wait for him to text me now then ? Feel like it's his turn In that case, I would question his interest level. When you initiated the conversation, he should have cut to the chase and set up the next get together. The fact that he didn't make plans with you and you never heard from him after that, might be a red flag, So in this instance, I fully agree with you. The ball is in his court to contact you and make plans. Since it's only been 1-2 months, I assume you two still aren't exclusive? If not, I'd start focusing on other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 What was your last text? He said use your charm to get clients I said haha that's your thing Link to post Share on other sites
jwhite Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 He said use your charm to get clients I said haha that's your thing That doesn't warrant a response. I am sure he is reveling in it though Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 At least one date a week is good in the beginning, for the first couple months. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 That doesn't warrant a response. I am sure he is reveling in it though It's fine he doesn't continue the convo. But if the no contact goes for 3 days its a little worrisome isnt it. Link to post Share on other sites
soithascometothis Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm currently dating a girl who will not contact me first. No emails, texts, or phone calls. However, I really like her so I have been putting myself out there each time. And every time she reciprocates and we have great dates. I think she is making me chase her. If she wasn't worth it, I would have dropped off weeks ago. I've pursued girls that I was luke warm about, but because they were contacting me and I had nothing else going on I kept seeing them. I'm not saying you shouldn't contact him. Just be selective. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm currently dating a girl who will not contact me first. No emails, texts, or phone calls. However, I really like her so I have been putting myself out there each time. And every time she reciprocates and we have great dates. I think she is making me chase her. If she wasn't worth it, I would have dropped off weeks ago. I've pursued girls that I was luke warm about, but because they were contacting me and I had nothing else going on I kept seeing them. I'm not saying you shouldn't contact him. Just be selective. I keep the initiate rate as him 3 me 1.5..cuz i dont wan to be the girl he's seeing when he's bored.(how can I be sure this is not the case actually?) As a typical woman I feel insecure if a guy goes no contact for days. Matter of fact i saw him become facebook friend with a girl few days ago so who knows, maybe he is losing interest in me. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) I'm currently dating a girl who will not contact me first. No emails, texts, or phone calls. However, I really like her so I have been putting myself out there each time. And every time she reciprocates and we have great dates. I think she is making me chase her. If she wasn't worth it, I would have dropped off weeks ago. I've pursued girls that I was luke warm about, but because they were contacting me and I had nothing else going on I kept seeing them. I'm not saying you shouldn't contact him. Just be selective. I'm curious, are you planning and paying for every date too> In the end, it takes two to make it work and she sounds a bit high maintenance. I'm sure that she's fun to spend time with. However, sometimes you also have to pay attention to a girl;s actions. If you're doing 100% with initiating all communication and planning/paying for every date, how interested can she actually be? In the end, it's up to you. But I'd recommend holding off from contacting her. You've put yourself out there, and she knows where you stand. So it's time for her to reciprocate a little bit. If she never ends up contacting you at all, that's pretty telling. Edited March 5, 2015 by fitnessfan365 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 So the best thing a guy can do in the beginning is plan one date a week. Then let her initiate communication if she wants to talk before then. As she gets more emotionally invested, she'll reach out more with cute texts and the guy leads planning more dates. Pursuing to achieve an emotional connection comes from a place of feminine energy. Masculine energy is to take action. So when a guy gets emotionally needy and contacts her all the time, he is essentially becoming the woman in the relationship. interesting. never tht about it like that but can see truth to this Link to post Share on other sites
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