kidinfo1 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Ok, so I've been with my current gf for about 5 months. We are sort of long distance. She lives 1 hour away because of school. We try to see each other every week, but sometimes because of our busy schedules, it may be two weeks before we see each other. Last night around 11 I sent her a pretty nice good night text message while she was busy doing work at the school (in her major its not uncommon for the students to stay there all night), to try and make her feel better. I woke up this morning around 5:45 for work and she still didn't respond to me. Which I really didn't think anything of, except I saw on my Instagram feed she commented on one of her friends pictures sometime in the middle of the night. Then that got me going... I sent her a follow up text, just a "umm okay lol" and she said "I'm sorry I was busy I love you" type of text (she said a lil more than that), but for some reason that wasn't enough for me. I sent her one saying how it kind of made me fee under appreciated that she could do something on Instagram, but not take the time to respond to my text... This is the first time something like this has happened. Usually I wouldn't and I don't care if it takes her awhile to respond to me because I know how busy she is, but seeing that she could post something on Instagram but not take the time to answer me really got to me Am I wrong for doing that / feeing this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 In my opinion, you were wrong to expect her to put you first in her every action. Sometimes a significant other can be the priority and sometimes they can't. Its just life. Its normal to miss someone's attention, but its expecting too much to feel you must have every bit of their free time. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Yes you are wrong. I can understand why you feel slighted but don't make it a relationship ending thing. Instagram is light & brainless. Dealing with your text is heavier, more important, comes with more intense feelings & may have distracted her for longer than she had to spare. Going to Instagram was a light hearted break not a negative commentary on your relationship 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kidinfo1 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 yeah I mean I feel stupid for sending that text. I feel like it makes me look a little crazy lol But at the same time, I don't see how it could be so hard to just say something back, I mean she had all night lol and she even told me to text her until I feel asleep (which I didnt, since we just got off the phone). I just sent her one good night text right before I went to bed. So you would assume she'd be expecting it and respond.. I don't know maybe I'm just thinking too much into it Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 If the text was on her phone in her back pack & she was on a computer, that explains why she may have missed it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kidinfo1 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 If the text was on her phone in her back pack & she was on a computer, that explains why she may have missed it. she texted me back saying she saw the message like 30 minutes after I sent it, forgot to respond, then saw the notification on her phone for Instagram and just replied to that and kept going on with her school work. soo that doesn't make things any better for me I guess lol.. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Repeat after me: I am starting to act needy. I'd better stop that before she figures it out and dumps me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Every text does NOT require an acknowledgement or response. What others have said: If you have gotten to a point where you expect her to put you first in all situations (like texting or re-arranging a schedule for you), than you are down a slippery slope of neediness that will eat away at you in a very unpleasant fashion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kidinfo1 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 I hear you guys. but maybe it's just the generation I grew up in? (I'm in the beginning of my 20s). it's literally crazy I guess compared to other ages. Every like, favorite, or comment is incessantly analyzed and over thought. Not just me, but it seems like everyone on my generation does it. which sounds incredibly stupid when I type it out, but that's just how it is. and I'm not trying to come off as needy, like I said I understand she's busy so it's not like I constantly text her. I don't even text her back right away because I'm so busy myself, so sometimes I don't even answer back for a couple hours I guess the whole thing kinda made me feel under appreciated. I do feel stupid for saying something to her, but what's done is done I guess Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Sorry but she doesn't revolve around you.....it's healthy to have a life outside the relationship, and you can't expect small things like a text to always be her #1 priority. She doesn't love you any less or is losing interest, her thoughts were somewhere else. Don't worry when you do get older stuff like this becomes meaningless. Yes it has a lot to do with your age group because you have raging hormones and maturity is still developing. It's all about experience too. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 and I'm not trying to come off as needy, like I said I understand she's busy so it's not like I constantly text her. I don't even text her back right away because I'm so busy myself, so sometimes I don't even answer back for a couple hours I guess the whole thing kinda made me feel under appreciated. It isn't just that you're coming off as needy, you _are_ needy. See bolded quote above. Honestly, you have a good deal of introspective on the subject with your generational comments so that's a good first step. I think you just need to keep moving down that path. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kidinfo1 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 I know this is kind of a hard question to answer without you guys knowing us / the situation, but generally, do you think this incident ruined the relationship? we didn't fight about it she said her piece and I explained I wasn't mad I just wanted to know what's up, now everything's been normal I hope this didn't ruin everything Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 No I don't think it has already ruined the relationship. But I think it will ruin the relationship if you don't let it go. If ignoring you becomes a pattern then that is a different story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) I hear you guys. but maybe it's just the generation I grew up in? (I'm in the beginning of my 20s). it's literally crazy I guess compared to other ages. Every like, favorite, or comment is incessantly analyzed and over thought. Not just me, but it seems like everyone on my generation does it. which sounds incredibly stupid when I type it out, but that's just how it is. and I'm not trying to come off as needy, like I said I understand she's busy so it's not like I constantly text her. I don't even text her back right away because I'm so busy myself, so sometimes I don't even answer back for a couple hours I guess the whole thing kinda made me feel under appreciated. I do feel stupid for saying something to her, but what's done is done I guess Your text didn't sound needy....but it DID come off as incredibly demanding and borderline controlling. Chill out. She was working. She has a life. Be confident and secure in the knowledge she loves you (like she said) and will respond when she gets a chance... LET HER BREATHE. Demanding men are a turn off.... Edited March 4, 2015 by katiegrl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 For gosh sakes, quit with the stupid texting already. Call her on the phone once in awhile between dates. Or at least quit being so needy... if she texts back with 24 it's okay. It's okay for you to be the center of her universe, but not the whole universe! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Dude..an hour is not long distance. The fact that you're still relatively close and barely ever see each other tells me that neither one of you is really that invested. I mean are you two really THAT BUSY where you can only see each other once every other week or every two weeks with only an hour drive? My buddy's girlfriend moved two hours away for work. Both of them have busy schedules and still manage to see each other 2-3x a week. One weekend she'll come out here, the next weekend he'll go up there, and they throw in one weekday some of the time too. But with the text situation, I'm sorry to say that you sound really demanding and controlling. Plus, checking out what your GF was doing on Instagram has a little bit of a stalker vibe..LOL If you didn't get a response, you just go on with your life and let her get back to you. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Repeat after me: Quote: I am starting to act needy. I'd better stop that before she figures it out and dumps me. Yup.. pretty much this Link to post Share on other sites
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