GTR King Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Did I do something wrong?? Should I move on?? Went on 3rd date last Friday went well she told me to text her when I got home so I texted her and she replied. She told me to text her sat to sort next date out... thats what I did... Then I texted her sat she replied so asked if she wanna see me again got no reply texted her again on sun asking how she was etc. then I left it & she texted me 2 & a half days later saying hey how's it going? xxx I replied saying Hey I am good thx what about you? Do you still wanna meet up again just let me know if your up for it as like to know where I stand:) xxx She then replied 10 hours later saying well if your gonna be like that then I don't wanna see you again and I told you I wanna see you. I don't know if I wanna see you. x Then I said I am sorry If I came across as rude to you but I am really Interested in you and wanna see you again and feel that I am doing all the work and that you are not interested in me & you hardly ever text me x Did i do anything wrong? Is it best I ignore her? Edited March 3, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 1) You sound way too approval seeking like you're always asking her permission. Girls want a confident leader, not a doormat at their beck and call. That's how guys in the friend zone act. 2) You pursued too much and acted way too needy. At this point, you need to walk away and stop contacting her. Just chalk this one up to inexperience and learn from your mistakes with the next girl. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Yeah thx mate. But I texted her when got home as she told me 2 & she replied also she told me to text her on sat to ask if she wanna do something again So I did that... Then I just texted 1st on Sunday & then left it till she texted me... didn't hear from her in 2 & a half days so wanted to double check if she still wanna meet up thats all... but o well will move on Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Do you still wanna meet up again just let me know if your up for it as like to know where I stand:) xxx This line was the killer. Also you need to improve on your writing, girls hate the chav childish text speak innit 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Ok if that was then I screwed it up... But not texting in 2 & a half days is odd when I know they have been on there phone etc.... She used to text me all the time & every day (For the 1st month & 1 week) and was happy when i asked her if she wanna see me again and sorted the 2nd/3rd date day after date. She started texted a lot less just before 2nd date & didn't even reply to texts just said something different & they work getting shorter... each time... Edited March 3, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 The guy that posted before was on point. You need to seem less needy/doormat-material. I'm not saying to act different but you need to phrase your sentences differently. Rather than say "do you still wanna meet up again just let me know if your up for it as like to know where I stand" you should just say "I think we had a good time last time, maybe we'll meet up later" or something like that. Stop sounding like a British decorator thats chasing up a job Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Assertiveness counts for something, OP. I'd say, if you get another shot with this girl (and want one), tell her you want to see her again instead of asking her if she wants to get together. One is much more attractive than the other. She sounds a bit annoying though, not contacting you for that long. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foretold Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Hi GTR King, Ok, first impressions from your initial post.... 1. She sounds somewhat temperamental and judgmental. What's her age? 2. If you want to see her again, set a definite date. As in figure out something to explore and/or do with her, then find out when she's free to meet up, and contact her. 3. It sounds like the two of you need to talk about communication frequency. Seems like she is not wanting to text you so often but you have a different goal, which is great but ideally the two of you should be on the same page about communication frequency. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) i don't mind if they don't text me much if date is sorted as saving talking for the date... but if she was interested in me should would of been happy that i ask if she wanna see me again... I told her how I feel & what I wanted but gonna move on from her not being messed about I like communication each day and sort next date out ASSAP ] But all she wants it to text when she wants e/g reply 1-2 times every few days (2-4 days) & see me when she wants.... I don't think that is right at all... I am 24 she is 23 & got out of 5 year relationship last may (Ended really badly) Edited March 3, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) if she was interested in me should would of been happy that i ask if she wanna see me again... I told her how I feel & what I wanted but gonna move on from her not being messed about Bro I just said that you need to improve on your writing, girls hate the British chav childish speak. 'Have' not 'of'. 'Want to' not 'wanna'. Say anything apart from 'messed about'. Common you need to improve yourself ya ge me innit blud Edited March 3, 2015 by wb1988 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) I try to right properly... Did try & see where things go with this girl... I always wanna set the date up soon after the last one & make it interesting... Didn't kiss on last date & felt like she only wanted to be friends now & go at her pace Edited March 3, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 1) You sound way too approval seeking like you're always asking her permission. Girls want a confident leader, not a doormat at their beck and call. That's how guys in the friend zone act. 2) You pursued too much and acted way too needy. At this point, you need to walk away and stop contacting her. Just chalk this one up to inexperience and learn from your mistakes with the next girl. Pretty much this OP. You should never seek approval from a woman, and your texting was a bit obnoxious. Never come off as eager or needy, it drives women away. When she told you to text her Saturday and you did that, you were basically letting her run the show. You should have texted her when you felt like it. Also when she didn't respond to your texts, you should have just ignored her. If she isn't going to reply to you, then whats the point anyways. She sounds like she likes to play games anyway - f that ****. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Thank you mate I am not playing games gonna move on & ignore her not worth my time Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 "i just like to know where I stand" is needy sounding. sounds like a little emo-tantrum. whether you meant it or not. if you really feel like you "need to know" do it in person or over phone conversation so people can hear your intonation, etc which will show the intent in which you mean it. If the intent is: *"i'm excited about you and pursue what i like" then you have a much better chance than *"i'm insecure and feel this is starting to fail so just tell me now". That's aggressive and way too emotional from a negative place. I think you should have taken her lack of response in timely fashion as her answer to set the pace she is comfortable with. In other words, you had your answer. Doesn't mean it was negative but you chose to perceive it that way and since she WAS wavering in some ways, you pushed her over the edge. Be confident and positive next time. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 That "I want to know where I stand" after one date, that's nuts. She now knows you're not at all confident and kind of desperate, and that's just very unattractive. You've got to learn to control yourself. As far as the texting, she would have texted when she had something to say, I imagine. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 She probably feels clobbered....I would just give her space and keep yourself busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) Thanks everyone for the advice didn't wanna sound needy at all but looks like I was.. She only wants to text me when she feels like it etc (Every Few days) & see me when she wants to & wants me to do all the work. I don't think that's right & both parties gotta work at it. When someone don't text me for nearly 3 days & when they do reply it's unrelated to my last text I feel as if they are not that interested in me. I know for a fact that she has been on her phone & sending a simple text only takes a few seconds. I like to hear from them every day (Even if it's once) or every other day to know they are ok or interested etc. I don't mind if they don't text much once a date has been sorted etc I have told her I am sorry & how I feel. But will probably move on. If she was that interested she would be texting me more & not ignoring my texts sometimes Edited March 4, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I dont think its reasonable to be in contact every day after 1 date.. Honestly though i dont think she is interested and i think you need to give a bit more space in future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Thx but we have been on 3 dates & been talking for nearly 2 months. She used to text me every day 2-3 times for the 1st month & then it got less & (Except for one day that was to sort 3rd date out). I am all for not texting much but one text in 3 days is not good enough Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Oh sorry i misread it. It definitely doesn't sound right then if her communication has dropped off. Everyone has a different idea of how regular the contact should be though. If you want contact every day and they dont, it wont work, however it seems like she lost interest and its hard to say why. I dont think her reaction was reasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Thanks you mate... I don't mind texting 2-3 times a day as texting all day everyday is too much gotta give them some space... But she shouldn't of been that rude. If she was interested she would of been happy to text me more etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) Update she texted me again Her it's best we don't talk anymore take care x Me ok Her is that all you have to say? x Me I am sorry about it all but I did enjoy our dates together but I told u how I felt x Her I am sorry but I see that you don't wanna see me again but good luck Me I am sorry to and did wanna see u again but good luck Her I am sorry to no worries Me ok sorry Her Ok. I am kinda upset that it didn't work too, you seemed a decent guy I said nothing about not wanting to see her again at all so dunno where she got that idea from. But she didn't have to be rude to me at all... I think it best I just leave her alone I told her how I felt & said (This was yesterday) I am interested in you & would like to see you again & enjoyed our dates together but I feel like your not that interested in me as you hardly every text me and I am having to all the work etc... Edited March 4, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Dude she's just playing games with you. She expected you to chase after her, and instead you said "OK". You did everything perfect.. well almost -- was a bit excessive with saying sorry - that bitch didn't deserve a sorry. Don't let her play mind games with you. In the future though don't come on so needy, and the "Where do I stand" garbage was a bit excessive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) Ok thank you. i didn't wanna play games at all... Just wanted to text normally & see each other once a week & get to know each other. We have texted most of the evening & told each other what we want & both fully understand each other. Also asked if she wanted to try again I accepted She said she would like a Good morning (From me most days to start with)/night text each day then text 4-5 times few days a week e.g 2-3 days a week & maybe call once a week for little chat & save most of the talking till we meet face to face etc.. I am happy with that and to take things slowly etc... you think i did the right thing talking it thorough with her Edited March 4, 2015 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 Update since last post she has said I am a decent Guy & that she likes me & wants to defo see me again (Which is good). We haven't sorted next date out yet (Dunno when I should ask don't wanna sound to keen). She still texts me like 1-3 times a day sometimes more but not loads... (think she don't use her phone that much) She smiled at me today when saw her at football... She last texted me yesterday (Morning) & I replied but nothing since. She always replies to my texts at some point.... Should I keep going with this girl?? She wanna take things slow but is she being to slow Link to post Share on other sites
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