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What can I do to improve my game?


cbplayer

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After making several threads about my inability to form relationships with women, I think that I have learned that I'm not very charming. I guess that I lack the rhetorical prowess to spark/maintain a girl's interest in me. Essentially , I have no game. I believe that this realization at least partially explains why women often ignore my texts , messages on POF , etc. What can I do to improve my game? What are some concrete steps that I should take? Also I'm a 21 virgin who's never made out or hooked up with a girl before. I fear this will really hinder my progress with women. Is that true?

 

Here is a link to an old thread that I made. It might give you some insight into my problem.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/512386-how-can-i-seriously-put-end-problem

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Winston_Smith

I'm beginning to doubt that there is such a thing as game.

 

Men who think that they have "game" are more likely to put it to work by trying it on as many different women as possible. In this case, probability is on their side. The more women you talk to, the more likely you are to find one that would fall for it.

 

There are articles both in print and online claiming that it only takes a woman seconds to decide whether or not she will sleep with a man. It makes sense. A woman is inclined to select a mate she deems suitable for producing viable offspring. In this case, is sounds like natural selection is at work. There's very little you can do about this. No amount of smooth talking will make her go to bed with you if you're not what her inner cavewoman desires.

 

In either case, "game" is irrelevant.

 

More and more, I'm starting to think that it is about luck and biological attraction. Granted there are social and cultural factors that you have more control over. For example, some women fancy men with tattoos, especially now that it is becoming more socially acceptable, or men that worship in the same church, or men that like dogs, etc. You can adopt certain behaviors that could make you appear more interesting to certain types of women. However, without that sexually chemistry, which is deeply rooted in biology, you'll never go farther than a purely platonic relationship.

 

My advice is for you to go out, find activities that you can share and enjoy with other people, make friends and grow your social circle. This should increase your probability of meeting someone that finds you sexually attractive.

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BeholdtheMan
I'm beginning to doubt that there is such a thing as game.

 

Men who think that they have "game" are more likely to put it to work by trying it on as many different women as possible. In this case, probability is on their side. The more women you talk to, the more likely you are to find one that would fall for it.

 

There are articles both in print and online claiming that it only takes a woman seconds to decide whether or not she will sleep with a man. It makes sense. A woman is inclined to select a mate she deems suitable for producing viable offspyring. In this case, is sounds like natural selection is at work. There's very little you can do about this. No amount of smooth talking will make her go to bed with you if you're not what her inner cavewoman desires.

 

In either case, "game" is irrelevant.

 

More and more, I'm starting to think that it is about luck and biological attraction. Granted there are social and cultural factors that you have more control over. For example, some women fancy men with tattoos, especially now that it is becoming more socially acceptable, or men that worship in the same church, or men that like dogs, etc. You can adopt certain behaviors that could make you appear more interesting to certain types of women. However, without that sexually chemistry, which is deeply rooted in biology, you'll never go farther than a purely platonic relationship.

 

My advice is for you to go out, find activities that you can share and enjoy with other people, make friends and grow your social circle. This should increase your probability of meeting someone that finds you sexually attractive.

 

 

The foundation of "game" is masculinity. The root of masculinity is strength...which mentally takes the form of confidence and charm

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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You attract who you are. You have to gain confidence. Confidence is only gathered through acts of courage...trying new things. Evolve yourself. I just started yoga last month and I love it. At first I was nervous because I am an ex football player and train in martial arts. I was thinking what will everyone think of me doing yoga. Overcoming that mental hurdle was my act of courage and therefore I gained confidence again. You have to act and not just read about things but do them.

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I just read your other thread....and I have an idea.

 

You need to create an air of mystery about you....you are too open, too engaging. Too "eager".

 

When they respond to your text, DO NOT text back right away. Let some time pass... this will get them wondering whether YOU like them! Ideally wait for her to text again. Which she will cause she will be wondering what happened and why you haven't responded.This is good.

 

Stop asking so many questions! This gets tiring (and boring) for women. Answer her question, and then leave it. This will intrigue her and she will wonder why you're not falling all over her. This is good.

 

No smiley faces or other emoticons!! Ugh. Not that you do that, but don't if you do.

 

In short, lay back and be cool. You get it started....but let her take it from there. Let her wonder about YOUR interest in HER!

 

See how that goes. I can almost guarantee you will have better success using this approach.

Edited by katiegrl
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Re my last post....when you get older...what I suggested won't garner the same results. But with younger, college-age girls in their early 20's? Yes!

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LoveRefreshed

I feel having game is knowing how to ride the line between being friendly and being sexual. Maybe opinions differ on this, but I do not generally start off a conversation with intense sexual topics, but you can hint at them and start to get a feel for a girl. It's about making a girl feel comfortable talking with you about topics she normally isn't. It's about making girls laugh and have fun. You need them to let their guard down around you and you do that by making them feel comfortable. That is joking, making them laugh, making them smile, being comfortable with yourself, and being confident.

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If you're using OLD always lookup guys in your age bracket in your area to check your competition, most importantly to make sure your pictures are better. Most guys are god awful at taking pictures and think the picture of them drunk, shirtless at the gym, next to someone else's lamborghini or unflattering hiking pic makes them look cool. Ever notice how most female profile pics are so much better than guys? Take advantage of that.

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I'n surprised no has told you that you're putting it on a pedestal. You're trying for it. All you can do if wait for your opportunity and go for it, otherwise you have nothing to do with making friends with women of like interest. They might not be the girl you're shooting for (which isn't ironic), but you'll find your self at better odds. Worst case, when they're confused and ready to make some bad decisions, you'll be there!!

 

 

I think maybe you should go ahead and lose your V, just to sort of recon the area and your preconceptions.

Edited by Hawaii51
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If you're using OLD always lookup guys in your age bracket in your area to check your competition, most importantly to make sure your pictures are better. Most guys are god awful at taking pictures and think the picture of them drunk, shirtless at the gym, next to someone else's lamborghini or unflattering hiking pic makes them look cool. Ever notice how most female profile pics are so much better than guys? Take advantage of that.

 

Read his prior thread, he attached the link to his first post.

 

He's sent his pics to a few of the ladies who all confirmed that his pics were good and that he is very good looking!

 

So that's not it.

 

I stand by what I said in my post. He is engaging these women too much, asking too many damn questions. Notice how after some time and him continuing with all his questions, they drop off.

 

His goal should be to create some attraction and sense of mystery here (which creates and builds attraction)...... it's NOT a job interview! Which is what his texts sound like.

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Get a part time sales job, a real sales job, not a clerk.

 

Read How To Win Friends And Influence People

 

Watch the movies Charade and To Catch a Thief with Carry Grant.

 

Then practice, practice, practice.

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OP also ... as a woman reading your texts (that you posted in the link you attached).. you shouldn't try so hard to be funny, charming ... etc. It comes off as desperate... and well, that you're trying too hard to win their affection....which is a turn off.

 

Send them a quick text... which shows them you're interested.... then hang back and be cool.

 

Again, you need to get them wondering about YOU ....

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I just read your other thread....and I have an idea.

 

You need to create an air of mystery about you....you are too open, too engaging. Too "eager".

 

When they respond to your text, DO NOT text back right away. Let some time pass... this will get them wondering whether YOU like them! Ideally wait for her to text again. Which she will cause she will be wondering what happened and why you haven't responded.This is good.

 

Stop asking so many questions! This gets tiring (and boring) for women. Answer her question, and then leave it. This will intrigue her and she will wonder why you're not falling all over her. This is good.

 

No smiley faces or other emoticons!! Ugh. Not that you do that, but don't if you do.

 

In short, lay back and be cool. You get it started....but let her take it from there. Let her wonder about YOUR interest in HER!

 

See how that goes. I can almost guarantee you will have better success using this approach.

Thank you for your input. I understand that replying sporadically will make me appear mysterious and that'll make me more appealing. I also understand that I should avoid asking a lot of questions and essentially play it cool but my fear is that I will come across as boring. How can I play it cool and not be boring?

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Get a part time sales job, a real sales job, not a clerk.

 

Read How To Win Friends And Influence People

 

Watch the movies Charade and To Catch a Thief with Carry Grant.

 

Then practice, practice, practice.

 

 

I will check out the books. Can I get your personal review of them?

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I'n surprised no has told you that you're putting it on a pedestal. You're trying for it. All you can do if wait for your opportunity and go for it, otherwise you have nothing to do with making friends with women of like interest. They might not be the girl you're shooting for (which isn't ironic), but you'll find your self at better odds. Worst case, when they're confused and ready to make some bad decisions, you'll be there!!

 

 

I think maybe you should go ahead and lose your V, just to sort of recon the area and your preconceptions.

 

Are you essentially saying that I should wait for a girl to show overt sexual interest in me and then go for it?

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Are you essentially saying that I should wait for a girl to show overt sexual interest in me and then go for it?

 

Is that what you're saying?

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Thank you for your input. I understand that replying sporadically will make me appear mysterious and that'll make me more appealing. I also understand that I should avoid asking a lot of questions and essentially play it cool but my fear is that I will come across as boring. How can I play it cool and not be boring?

 

How do I avoid boring a girl?

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I just read your other thread....and I have an idea.

 

You need to create an air of mystery about you....you are too open, too engaging. Too "eager".

 

When they respond to your text, DO NOT text back right away. Let some time pass... this will get them wondering whether YOU like them! Ideally wait for her to text again. Which she will cause she will be wondering what happened and why you haven't responded.This is good.

 

Stop asking so many questions! This gets tiring (and boring) for women. Answer her question, and then leave it. This will intrigue her and she will wonder why you're not falling all over her. This is good.

 

No smiley faces or other emoticons!! Ugh. Not that you do that, but don't if you do.

 

In short, lay back and be cool. You get it started....but let her take it from there. Let her wonder about YOUR interest in HER!

 

See how that goes. I can almost guarantee you will have better success using this approach.

 

^^How do you avoid being boring? By doing LESS . By laying back and being cool.

 

Don't text too much, don't don't talk too much, don't ask so many questions, don't try so hard to be funny, don't try so hard to win their affection.

 

The trick is to get them wondering about YOU, not you wondering about them...

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Improve your game by being a decent human being.

 

^^^Great way to make friends, but most college age girls need a little mystery and challenge to get their juices flowing...

 

Most of em want what they can't have. They'll grow out of it eventually... but if the OP is looking to hook up with one of these chicks now.... he needs to play their game and hang back and let them come to him..

 

Send the initial text, and then hang back.

Edited by katiegrl
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Thank you for your input. I understand that replying sporadically will make me appear mysterious and that'll make me more appealing. I also understand that I should avoid asking a lot of questions and essentially play it cool but my fear is that I will come across as boring. How can I play it cool and not be boring?

 

Girls your age don't care what you say....what will get them going is how you make them "feel."

 

That's why you say less and hang back. Like I said most of em want what they "can't" have.

 

You send one text. Make it short. This let's them know you are interested. Just something like "hey, how's it going?.". Wait for her to respond...and if she asks you a question, you respond back within 15-30 minutes...answering her question. Continue this for awhile and then you drop off. Don't explain why, just don't respond to her last text.

 

This will intrigue her and get her wondering about you! Was it something she said? What happened? Trust me, she WILL text again if she's into you.

 

If not, it's next!

 

Again, when you get older, this won't work but for girls your age, try it!

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Girls your age don't care what you say....what will get them going is how you make them "feel."

 

That's why you say less and hang back. Like I said most of em want what they "can't" have.

 

You send one text. Make it short. This let's them know you are interested. Just something like "hey, how's it going?.". Wait for her to respond...and if she asks you a question, you respond back within 15-30 minutes...answering her question. Continue this for awhile and then you drop off. Don't explain why, just don't respond to her last text.

 

This will intrigue her and get her wondering about you! Was it something she said? What happened? Trust me, she WILL text again if she's into you.

 

If not, it's next!

 

Again, when you get older, this won't work but for girls your age, try it!

I'll be graduating from college in a few months. So, how should I talk to older women, women 22+?

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I'll be graduating from college in a few months. So, how should I talk to older women, women 22+?

 

Any advice? How do I calibrate for older, more mature women?

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Any advice? How do I calibrate for older, more mature women?

 

Try on line dating, and put in your profile you seek women in their 30's

 

You still need to chill though, relax and be cool. Don't text too much, pace it out. Wait for her to respond back before you send another. Ask her out.

 

Good luck..

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