windows Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm thinking of asking a girl out sometime soon. We've been friends for years, and I think we get on well. I actually asked her out once before, about 2 years ago. But at that time, she told me she was interested in another guy. (Really untactful way to reject someone really.) A few years, and relationships later, we both happen to be single at the moment. So, we're now both single. I don't know if she's interested in anyone else. (That other guy is in a relationship with someone else.) But what stopping me now is a lot of... self doubts. 1) I don't really have any reason to believe she has changed in how she feels towards me. Just because that other guy is out of the picture doesn't mean she would consider me... would she? 2) Knowing who she has liked before means... that if we did end up dating, would I have been her 'consolation prize'? Because she couldn't end up with that guy? I don't know if I could bear that. Besides, she hasn't really made any clear indication that she feels anything towards me. In any case, I do want to go on a date with her and figure out if we could become something more than just friends. (Because, there is still something in me which tells me that there could be something.) I'm just not sure if I should really bother. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Unless she does something overt to signal renewed interest in you, I would not ask her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bu2002 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm thinking of asking a girl out sometime soon. We've been friends for years, and I think we get on well. I actually asked her out once before, about 2 years ago. But at that time, she told me she was interested in another guy. (Really untactful way to reject someone really.) A few years, and relationships later, we both happen to be single at the moment. So, we're now both single. I don't know if she's interested in anyone else. (That other guy is in a relationship with someone else.) But what stopping me now is a lot of... self doubts. 1) I don't really have any reason to believe she has changed in how she feels towards me. Just because that other guy is out of the picture doesn't mean she would consider me... would she? 2) Knowing who she has liked before means... that if we did end up dating, would I have been her 'consolation prize'? Because she couldn't end up with that guy? I don't know if I could bear that. Besides, she hasn't really made any clear indication that she feels anything towards me. In any case, I do want to go on a date with her and figure out if we could become something more than just friends. (Because, there is still something in me which tells me that there could be something.) I'm just not sure if I should really bother. The bold is your answer. That was her way of telling you she isn't interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 You are probably in the freindszone. Only one in one-hundred make it out. So your chances are extremely poor. If you want to know, take her out one-on-one and go for the first big kiss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I know that guys in the friendzone get the girl in movies and TV shows. But in real life, being a girl's "friend" after you've asked her out means she has no desire to ever have sex with you. What you should have done way back then when she brought up being friends, is said "I have no interest in friendship with you, and if you change your mind you can give me a call." Then you simply walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I know that guys in the friendzone get the girl in movies and TV shows. But in real life, being a girl's "friend" after you've asked her out means she has no desire to ever have sex with you. What you should have done way back then when she brought up being friends, is said "I have no interest in friendship with you, and if you change your mind you can give me a call." Then you simply walk away. Yeah, guys in the movies who are friendzoned get the girl because men are making those movies! They know it's what a lot of guys want to believe and cater to it. Just like they cater to the fairytale type of story women want to believe. It's not doing anyone any favors, I'm afraid. She's not interested. If she was, she'd have made that blatantly obvious by now. Women are not helpless. They are perfectly capable of flirting and getting all over a guy if they are attracted to them. Time only deteriorates your chances here. It's not going to happen. Just because she's not interested in someone else right now does not mean she'll take whoever's next in line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author windows Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Thanks for the advice. She's someone who goes to the same small little church that I do, so I probably won't act on this at all now (unless she somehow shows she has changed her mind about me). Nothing worse than small community awkwardness right? It's a shame really, I don't have anyone else on my radar at the moment. On a side note/rant, Christian girls (that I know of) generally don't date around, like at all. You'd be lucky if they actually show any interest in you. The slightest sign of flirting could be seen as improper. :/ And when you ask one out, it's kind of everything-or-nothing. When relationships are hard enough as is, we religious fellas are playing the same 'game' with more rules. This is why I can never be sure if a girl likes me or not - because it's not like I have any reason to believe that they'll show it. /rantover Link to post Share on other sites
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