BeaveCake Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm a 19 year old guy who after a close family death got a scalp condition which causes hair to drastically thin, usually it's temporary but mine became permanent unfortunately. So instead of walking around with sickly looking hair I opted to shave it to the skin. People say I pull it off (surprising as I'm a skinny pale guy) but I'm very worried this means I'll have to forget about attractive girls. A huge goal of mine was to be married in my 20's to a girl I was attracted to for her body and mind, I admit looks are a big part of it, and initial attraction is a must for something deeper. And I know girls think the same, so I want honest opinions. Does a shaved bald head (I'm talking to the skin) put me at a disadvantage compared to the 'hairy' guys when it comes to attracting girls my age? Does this mean I can forget about finding a girl with my standards or forget about the goal of mine? Personal opinions on guys with cue ball shaved heads? Is it a deal breaker turnoff for you etc? Or can it be attractive and am I overthinking it? I don't like coming to forums for this stuff but on a men's hairloss site every guy was saying you can forget about decent women, so either they know their stuff or they are just jaded guys who relied on hair too much to begin with, either way I figured I'd ask women up front about it. Brutal honesty is appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Baldness in men is a preference. Some women love it some women don't. I personally am not attracted to bald men. That doesn't mean someone else wouldn't be. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Some women will like it. Some won't. Some won't care. Some women like blondes. Others like brunettes, Some like silver foxes. It's all a personal preference. It sounds like you own the look & understand it's the best option you have. Confidence is far more attractive then hair color or existence. Link to post Share on other sites
Rimbaud59 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 no; it's not a deal-breaker. I'm bald (I went bald at 18) and have dated reasonably attractive girls. I'm 28 now and have been on dates with 21 year old's who are attractive, and who have in turn found me very attractive, while their friends are bemused because I'm bald. It's all a matter of preference. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm balding and shave my head with no guard on the clippers and always date "out of my league". Just have to work with what you got! Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Not a deal breaker, it really depends on how it looks on the person. It sounds like you rock it! Link to post Share on other sites
drewdude Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hey man, I know how you feel. I started going bald at 26. I delayed shaving my head for so long because I had long hair for years and "thought" I needed hair to attract the ladies. At 28 I finally gave in and have kept my hair at a zero/1 ever since. I am 30 now. Since shaving I attracted/gone out with more girls than ever. Even one who had told me she only dated long haired guys but my confidence/personality attracted her. It's like I am living in my prime once again. My advice to you is just work on your confidence and hitting the weights is good too. Work with what life has handed to you to the fullest. Link to post Share on other sites
AprilTears Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Not a deal breaker for me. I like it actually. Own it and don't worry about what others think. If someone judges you by your hair or lack of then it's probably not someone you want to be with anyway in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Mangina Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I am bald too since i was 20. Can you grow a beard? If so, rock a nice beard and shaved head. Like this https://www.google.com/search?q=bald+with+beard&client=lightning&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=A2rzVLCZCYKHyQTk0IDgBw&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=600&bih=912&dpr=2 Unfortunately my facial hair is very patchy. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Is it possible you are still stressed? Are you on medications for anxiety? Have you tried that? If not, talk to a doctor about that. Because what I'm reading is hair should come back once you're no longer stressed. Because I know you're stressed about the hair loss, if nothing else. What's the name of the condition? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeaveCake Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Is it possible you are still stressed? Are you on medications for anxiety? Have you tried that? If not, talk to a doctor about that. Because what I'm reading is hair should come back once you're no longer stressed. Because I know you're stressed about the hair loss, if nothing else. What's the name of the condition? Telogen Effluvium, I was suffering from medical exhaustion, my father was just diagnosed with cancer at the time and I was about to graduate and Dad didn't want people knowing how sick he was. So for two months I ran on about 2 hours of sleep a night (with keeping school up and keeping with dad because he would go back and forth to the hospital a lot. He passed away two months after I graduated. Three months to the day we found out he had cancer so it was quick. Several months later I noticed the thin hair, they said it fit with the time frame for TE which would have hair return but as time went on the hair hasn't. They said in severe cases follicles can be aged. So affected hair (at least half) is where it'd be when I was fifty. The rest is still staying they think (they said there is a small chance it's premature balding but given the timeframe and amount lost are confident it was TE) but I've gone way over the recovery time with no regain. Treatment wouldn't be affective for me and quite frankly from what I've seen doesn't work well anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 When my sister's hair first started growing back, it was thin and whispy (after stress from pancreatitis) but in time, as she kept cutting the end, eventually she got her hair back. I don't know. From what I've read about your disease, they do say the hair should come back. But maybe it is the thin hair you describe. I would still let it come in a bit to about an inch like once a year and just see if there's any change. Bodies are all different. I did read that there's the period of stress and then the hair does this growth cycle for some months before you lose it. So that fits with what you're describing. Sorry you had to deal with all that. Sounds very stressful. I hope things smooth out for you going forward. Stay busy with some activities to keep meeting people and expand your network because that is always the best shot at finding someone you like, bald or not bald! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeaveCake Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hey man, I know how you feel. I started going bald at 26. I delayed shaving my head for so long because I had long hair for years and "thought" I needed hair to attract the ladies. At 28 I finally gave in and have kept my hair at a zero/1 ever since. I am 30 now. Since shaving I attracted/gone out with more girls than ever. Even one who had told me she only dated long haired guys but my confidence/personality attracted her. It's like I am living in my prime once again. My advice to you is just work on your confidence and hitting the weights is good too. Work with what life has handed to you to the fullest. My confidence is only affected at all in the ladies department, it's strange because I am one of the youngest licensed skydivers in my state so obviously I'm confident in myself but it just seems like the majority of women, especially at my very young age prefer hair and couldn't get past it. Maybe it's not a big a part of attraction as axe wants us to believe but still. I know there are physical traits girls have that I would see as a deal breaker and I'm no hypocrite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeaveCake Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I am bald too since i was 20. Can you grow a beard? If so, rock a nice beard and shaved head. Like this https://www.google.com/search?q=bald+with+beard&client=lightning&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=A2rzVLCZCYKHyQTk0IDgBw&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=600&bih=912&dpr=2 Unfortunately my facial hair is very patchy. No, a beard is not in my future, I can get one but it is very dark in contrast to my light skin I'm not a fan of it, plus I don't like how a lot of guys with shaved heads compensate with facial hair (no offense) I feel like it'd make me look older. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Do you have any idea how many women have a crush on Pitbull and Vin Diesel Start lifting those weights boy, and you'll have no problem. You might attract some of those cougars too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeaveCake Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Baldness in men is a preference. Some women love it some women don't. I personally am not attracted to bald men. That doesn't mean someone else wouldn't be. I knew there are preferences but was curious if it is generally unnatractive at this age (or ever) for example: I can honestly say the vast majority of men I know couldn't date a heavyset woman. So in general men find that unnatractive, I was worried/wondering if this is along the same lines and most girls dont want to be with the shaved bald guy? What bugs me is I can see the weight deal, I'm not attracted to big women either-I go to a gym and take care of my body so besides people with disorders you can do things about your weight, but with hair treatment truthfully had about 50% success rates and affects hormones etc basically we haven't got an actual treatment and I worry this will make me undateable to the vast majority, think it is a general unattractive trait to most? Link to post Share on other sites
marinelife3 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 i don't know any women who consider baldness a dealbreaker. i think it just comes with the territory of dating guys. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Women are human and have physical tastes. But in all honesty man, what they respond to more is confidence. If you're insecure about it, your body language and how you act will turn women off regardless of how you look. But, if you're comfortable with yourself and have the confidence to believe that you could get any woman you want, you'll attract more women than not. So instead of worrying about your hair, start working on your self esteem and confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Many women find Patrick Stewart attractive. Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, Matt Damon in Elysium, do I have to go on? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RenegadeMonster Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 My step cousins were all mostly bald by their senior year in high school and I can tell you they had no trouble what so ever landing a girlfriend. Confidence is what girls are after. On of my step cousins was a football player, the other in the drama club and did a lot of musicals and dancing routines at school and had girls crawling all over them at all times. If a girl doesn't want to date you just because you are bald or balding then that is not the girl for you. There are bound to be more differences and objections you would face than just your hair anyways with a girl like that. Throw yourself out there and give it a chance. You shouldn't have any trouble if you are in the game. If you are holding your self back because of your hair that's a self confidence issue and girls pick up on that and that could be a lot of your problems. Don't let it bother you and don't second guess your self about appearance when asking girls out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeaveCake Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 My step cousins were all mostly bald by their senior year in high school and I can tell you they had no trouble what so ever landing a girlfriend. Confidence is what girls are after. On of my step cousins was a football player, the other in the drama club and did a lot of musicals and dancing routines at school and had girls crawling all over them at all times. If a girl doesn't want to date you just because you are bald or balding then that is not the girl for you. There are bound to be more differences and objections you would face than just your hair anyways with a girl like that. Throw yourself out there and give it a chance. You shouldn't have any trouble if you are in the game. If you are holding your self back because of your hair that's a self confidence issue and girls pick up on that and that could be a lot of your problems. Don't let it bother you and don't second guess your self about appearance when asking girls out. Well see that's the thing, to me it was just hair, for being young I've been through a lot of serious stuff, and being raised in a military family I've always been more mature, outgoing and outspoken but in the past I've had girls tell me I was too mature and they didn't want something serious like that yet, which I respected then telling me that rather than playing with me, so to me it was just hair, I don't hide from it, don't wear hats etc. I walk around with the bare head and don't let it stop me from well anything really. It's just that I've never had a legitimate girlfriend and seeing guys who say they were magnets say they now get nothing with no hair seems to put me in a bad place for the future. My hope is those guys are guys who relied on their own hair and looks too much and the successful bald guys are too busy living than writing on some hairloss forum. Also I do keep myself busy but more with one big activity; I'm being trained as a skydiver, already have a basic license, and am being trained to take people on tandem jumps, once I get my intermediates I'll be one of the youngest in my state so I do have that going for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I'm a 19 year old guy who suffers from a condition call TE, it causes heavy scalp thinning and while most cases are temporary mine became permanent, so with no treatment I opted to shave it to the skin. It's a mixed bag on me, head shape and my face work very well for it, but I'm a skinnier guy, I'm toned but not much mass, and I have a paler skin that just does not tan (same doc who diagnosed me with the condition told me about my skin being a 'milder ' type) honestly to me it was just hair, I wasn't like some young guys who think hairstyle defines them or are justin bieber wannabes. But I have one concern, young women, and how they will view it. I am told I look about 21-22 so it didn't really age me at all but I still can't imagine a girl having options picking the guy with no hair. And I admit looks do matter, you have to find your partner more attractive than the norm (and we do all have different preferences but there are some generally attractive/unattractive qualities, I'm worried the baldness is one of them this young) I have decent standards and I understand and respect girls needing to be physically attracted to their partner too. I've read so many stories on Internet forums of guys who got all the ladies. Lost hair and get none now, that really kills me, and even my own mother told me I should consider any girl a dating prospect now that I'm bald and that was a huge insult. I want to know the truth, is it generally a deal breaker for young women if the guy has no hair? I mean I'm not even 20 yet, and if I knew I could still be in something serious or even get married in my 20's to a girl I was very attracted to body and mind I wouldn't give two craps about no hair. Please be honest even if it's not what I want to hear, I appreciate honesty. Thanks for your time. A good friend [female] once told me that all the plans and all the lists and all the dreaming that girls do about their future guy and what they would do in those situations tends to go completely out the window the moment they fall in love [or begin to fall in love]. If you let it affect you ... believe it ... then it will affect your ego and your self-esteem and you will send out the signal 'i do not value myself that highly'. That alone will put them far far FAR more off. Further ... at that age your shaving your head [a la Vin Diesel] makes you look older without actually being older. That will boost your attractiveness in the eyes of girls who want someone like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeaveCake Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 A good friend [female] once told me that all the plans and all the lists and all the dreaming that girls do about their future guy and what they would do in those situations tends to go completely out the window the moment they fall in love [or begin to fall in love]. If you let it affect you ... believe it ... then it will affect your ego and your self-esteem and you will send out the signal 'i do not value myself that highly'. That alone will put them far far FAR more off. Further ... at that age your shaving your head [a la Vin Diesel] makes you look older without actually being older. That will boost your attractiveness in the eyes of girls who want someone like that. I was kinda hoping for that, I know it's something that on paper isn't likely a preference but there are girls I've found attractive who if you tried to describe them I might say 'eh they may be OK' but the whole package I found uniquely attractive even physically, hell one of then was a girl who shaved the side of her head! And I seen a picture with full hair and didn't think she looked as good (maybe now it's a subconscious head shaved thing haha) and honestly I was very worried about how old I looked but most everyone tells me they thought I was 21-22 when they find out my real age. So if anything looking that age could actually help, and if it stands out more to girls who want a more mature guy or something more real even better. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I'm 32 and i am slowly starting to have a friar tuck. But because of how i shave my hair and what i do with my facial hair ... most think i'm younger [about 28 most ppl guess]. There are other things that can balance your look towards more youth but honestly ... at your age most ppl thinking you are 21-22 ... is very good. I knew a guy who went grey on part of his hair at 17 ... he had no trouble with girls finding him attractive because it made him look a bit more ... mature. You are very lucky because honestly ... women tend to care less about a guy's looks than we care about theirs. They take other variables to have more weight in the equation. One of those variables is self-esteem ... and for a woman a guy's self-esteem will be more important than for a guy a woman's self-esteem. A woman will be turned off by a guy with low self-esteem while a guy will find the opportunity to be a white knight if a woman has low self-esteem. That is what is ruining the life for a lot of baldies ... PS: Obviously there are other situations where hair matters ... but unless you become a big time politician or a major CEO ... or a male model ... or a male erotic dancer ... not really. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I would totally date a bald guy. He just has to be nice and confident. Looks are slightly important but personality is more so for me. If you don't worry about being bald, she won't either. Link to post Share on other sites
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