ThisisIt606 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I had a first dinner/drinks date set up tonight with this guy from okc. We were going to meet at a nice restaurant/bar that gets REALLY crowded on the weekends. He just texted to say: HIM: Heyy *name* Idk if we are still on for tonight but I have been at my parents for a little while and don't think i'm going to be back in the city until around 8ish :/ ME: Ok, no prob. Enjoy your parents place. Him: Do you want to meet up a little later?" ME: Sure, what time were you thinking? *** texts above were all within minutes of eachother now he takes longer to reply** ME: Actually, I have to be up pretty early tomorrow so later tonight won't work. HIM: Awee okay I was going to say 8:30-9ish but maybe another time? ME: Sure, sounds good I DO have to be up early tomorrow and didn't want to meet at 9pm just for drinks (we were supposed to do dinner too and I didn't want to get such a late dinner). I plan on only rescheduling if he suggests a new day, time, place. Did I do the right thing? He seems to be very confused with proper communication even deciding today's date: HIM: I could do either Saturday or Sunday ME: Want to do Saturday? HIM: Saturday during the day is the always popular laundry day and i was planning to try and squeeze some work in but that can always be shuffled around if needed ( I was very confused by his list of other activities as he just suggested Saturday) ME:oh you suggested it so I didn't konw. Tell me what you'd like to do haha HIM: I'm sorry if it came off as confusing haha I said I could do Saturday because I am always ok with putting off laundry for a day hahaha... I'm not picked we can grab a drink/dinner if you wanna do something a little more active we can do bowling/pool at some place ^ I was weary and should have taken this as a warning sign I think. He seems confusing and a bit all over the place/ perhaps an inexperienced dater. As he basically said yeah, "i'd rather go out than do laundry!"... an unneeded explanation I think, just say yes if it works for you. Anyways, what do you all think? Should I agree if he reschedules or does he sound a bit too aloof/ inexperienced? He's a year younger than me and still in grad school Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Ugh he sounds friggin annoying!! I dont understand what he is doing.. Asking you out, then saying " oh I'm actually busy" within the same breath. I would just forget him until he can get his sh together lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 It sounds like he genuinely had to cancel and is still interested in you. Let him know your availability and he should set up a new date/time for you two. EDIT: Ok ... REad down a bit further.. this guy sounds like he's playing games with you. He'd rather do laundry on a Saturday than go out...? Lol. Idk. Do what you will on this special case. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 The fact that this guy didn't CALL you to tell you this and, instead, chose to text you is um, a pretty bad sign. I think people really overuse texting and it's almost like it's a smokescreen for some. He sounds extremely flaky, immature and UNinterested in you. I wouldn't text him anymore. And unless he CALLS you (which would demonstrate his INTEREST in you), I would probably just do a fade-out. You deserve to date a guy who is genuinely interested in you and SHOWS you that he's interested in you by setting up a date and time that he'll STICK to. And, even if he sincerely wasn't able to meet up with you, he should've CALLED you to tell you so. Good luck, OP. . 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 He is being light and funny and you take everything he says literally. His comment about laundry day was meant to be cute, something for you to smile at. The way I see it you are the one that made tonight's date impossible so you give him your available time. He did not want to cancel, he just wanted a little more time to get to you, you're the one who said No can do. So, if you like that guy, tell him when you are free next 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Thing is I don't know if i like him as it was just a first meet up. I just found it to be too much trouble that it's worth for a stranger. However if it was a guy I had met already/ liked I would have held off to meet later tonight. His texting habits just seem odd to me and I was mostly confused by the laundry comment. ( not sure why he had to launch into his day's activities instead of just saying yes) Funny thing, this same thing happened to me a few days ago (date canceled, asked to meet later and I said no). Then he promptly set a date for the following day which I said yes to and it went really well I thought. Where as same situation arose today and this guy didn't sent a new date like the other one did after I said no to meeting later. I guess I'm just sick of the online run around (as I see it) and like the guy to be the one to initiate in the beginning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Where as same situation arose today and this guy didn't sent a new date like the other one did after I said no to meeting later. I guess I'm just sick of the online run around (as I see it) and like the guy to be the one to initiate in the beginning. Well, maybe this guy here did not get to read the same memo as the other guy There is not just one way of doing things. People are different with different take on things. This guy here is more laid back, I don't think you should cut him off because he had a pause in his texting, who knows maybe he got hit with diarrhea lol, and don't cut him off because he does not act like a previous man. To me it sounds like you are not very much interested in him and you are looking for excuses to cut him off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 He is being light and funny and you take everything he says literally. His comment about laundry day was meant to be cute, something for you to smile at. The way I see it you are the one that made tonight's date impossible so you give him your available time. He did not want to cancel, he just wanted a little more time to get to you, you're the one who said No can do. So, if you like that guy, tell him when you are free next Agree with Gaeta ... for most people -- *who are interested**-- 8:30 or even 9:00 is not too late to meet for a drink, even if they have to go to work the next day... Ball is in your court now... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Thing is I don't know if i like him as it was just a first meet up. I just found it to be too much trouble that it's worth for a stranger. However if it was a guy I had met already/ liked I would have held off to meet later tonight. His texting habits just seem odd to me and I was mostly confused by the laundry comment. ( not sure why he had to launch into his day's activities instead of just saying yes) Funny thing, this same thing happened to me a few days ago (date canceled, asked to meet later and I said no). Then he promptly set a date for the following day which I said yes to and it went really well I thought. Where as same situation arose today and this guy didn't sent a new date like the other one did after I said no to meeting later. I guess I'm just sick of the online run around (as I see it) and like the guy to be the one to initiate in the beginning. Okay after reading this...it's clear you're just not into him. Probably best to not contact him again and just let it go... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Update... HIM: When are you free? ME: I could do Thursday or Next Saturday ME: T0morrow night would also work. [** honestly thought this would work as he originally suggested saturday or sunday] HIM: I have night class Thursday. I could do tomorrow night HIM: no, no I lied I have to meet up with a classmate.. how about next Saturday? Even though I dug a hole for myself suggesting other days, I'm going to be upfront. I haven't really dated a student before and homework and classes are something in my past. I know how "married to school" one can be and I don't find this lifestyle attractive to date with these "oh i can, wait i can't messages" from him. Maybe saying something along the lines of; Sorry, I know I suggested Saturday but our schedules don't seem to be working out. I remember it being hard to get together with people in grad school and I'm just not that interested to try and set something else up. Best of luck to you. ^ any possible way to make that sound less bitchy? I KNOW I messed up by suggesting other dates... but the fact that he said yes/ then remembered he had school work rubs me the wrong way. Yes, I know many of you will think i'm the difficult one (probs am) but as we keep texting I'm getting less and less interested. Any input on how to officially cancel any future date/contact is appreciated. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 "Sorry I know I said Saturday would work, but our schedules don't seem to match up. I wish you the best and take care.." That's all you need to say IMO.. And you're doing the right thing. Making a date is not supposed to be this difficult! And as I said...bottom line is you're just not into him... So it's for the best.. JMO 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Ugh! He didn't get round to leaving his parents in time to meet you for a first date? I think for most people who are keen on a first date, they would have struggled to be with parents because they would have been watching the time. It doesn't sound as if your guy was doing this. He sounds a bit wishy-washy (fits with the laundry discussion!). Me, I'd be tempted to drop him and if he really does want to see me he'd have to do a lot more work before I'd rearrange. It doesn't sound like he had a good excuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yeah if its this difficult to set up a first date, how would a relationship go. He sounds very disorganised, flaky, distracted.. I think what Katie suggested sounds ok You already said you're free on Saturday, he needs to grow up and pick a time and place and organize this thing!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 "Sorry I know I said Saturday would work, but our schedules don't seem to match up. I wish you the best and take care.." That's all you need to say IMO.. And you're doing the right thing. Making a date is not supposed to be this difficult! And as I said...bottom line is you're just not into him... So it's for the best.. JMO Thanks Katie and everyone! I texted your suggestion, to the point and I agree with it. I don't have anything against students... but never had this much trouble setting a first meeting up with a student or non-student before. I also agree about the visiting parents thing.. I've been in the same situation and if I'm very interested in meeting someone, I'll make sure to get back to the city in a timely manner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Come to think of it, I've had the exact same thing happen to me. He cancelled about an hour before the date because he was still at his parents and it took longer than he had thought.. I was already dressed and ready to go. I gave him a chance as he rescheduled but the date sucked, and he contacted me a few weeks after the date saying he had lost his phone and sorry he hadn't texted but do I want to meet again. I sensed he was BSing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Come to think of it, I've had the exact same thing happen to me. He cancelled about an hour before the date because he was still at his parents and it took longer than he had thought.. I was already dressed and ready to go. I gave him a chance as he rescheduled but the date sucked, and he contacted me a few weeks after the date saying he had lost his phone and sorry he hadn't texted but do I want to meet again. I sensed he was BSing. oo interesting, sorry that happened to you too! haha I was also dressed to go out :/ oh well, they can't all be winners. Yeah, lost phone sounds suspicious.. many other ways to contact someone now adays with social media accounts. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Oh boy, here we go with the texting again. Listen up guys - texting is one of the worst forms of communication. Call the girl on the phone. 93% of communication is body language and voice inflection - at least with a call, you get the voice inflection. With text, you get diddly. Whoops! The guy is not here... oh well! Too bad so sad Stop the mad texting and call to set a date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I read it as... I'm trying to get a more preferable piece of ass right now, but I'll let you know if it falls through. I scored. You're interesting enough to procrastinate on my laundry even more. But know that I consider this a sacrifice on my part. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Macattack Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Oh boy, here we go with the texting again. Listen up guys - texting is one of the worst forms of communication. Call the girl on the phone. 93% of communication is body language and voice inflection - at least with a call, you get the voice inflection. With text, you get diddly. Whoops! The guy is not here... oh well! Too bad so sad Stop the mad texting and call to set a date. I don't have a cell phone, which is funny because most women would think I'm lying. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Sounds like a lame-o. If he initiates everything and it suits your schedule, go out with him. If he initiates and then you encounter more indecisiveness, back out. Do not have dinner, go bowling, get a colonoscopy, etc. Have coffee or a beer. You're trying to gauge if there's any physical chemistry. This takes an entire four seconds. Want to turn what should end at 15 minutes into an hour? Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Oh boy, here we go with the texting again. Listen up guys - texting is one of the worst forms of communication. Call the girl on the phone. 93% of communication is body language and voice inflection - at least with a call, you get the voice inflection. With text, you get diddly. Whoops! The guy is not here... oh well! Too bad so sad Stop the mad texting and call to set a date. It depends. I screen my calls and very rarely answer the phone. I text and like to be texted. More than calling. Find it very awkward, especially with someone I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I usually launch these kinds of people, in fact, even if I have friends that do this, I try not to have them in my life. The "Wishy-Washy" indecisive type...when conversations can go on FOREVER like this for something so simple. The fact that this guy didn't CALL you to tell you this and, instead, chose to text you is um, a pretty bad sign. I think people really overuse texting and it's almost like it's a smokescreen for some. He sounds extremely flaky, immature and UNinterested in you. I wouldn't text him anymore. And unless he CALLS you (which would demonstrate his INTEREST in you), I would probably just do a fade-out. You deserve to date a guy who is genuinely interested in you and SHOWS you that he's interested in you by setting up a date and time that he'll STICK to. And, even if he sincerely wasn't able to meet up with you, he should've CALLED you to tell you so. Good luck, OP. . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 You did everything to make this guy look bad so you could get out of it with a clear conscience. * Your thread is falsely titled 'he cancelled' while he didn't * He wanted to reschedule later that day and you killed it * He got back to you as you wishes and tried to reschedule and you killed it. You're weren't into him just admit it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I do admit i'm not into him! Whole heartedly. I stated earlier it's more trouble than I'm will to put up with for a first meeting. His weird responses rubbed me the wrong way and he came off as very young (babbling about laundry, no no I lied can't do sunday) <--- makes him sound too childish in my eyes. Looking back over his pics and reading his profile, he wasn't worth moving things around his parents and school schedule. I've "been there done that" and have my degrees. For the "right person" that I haven't yet met ( I find them attractive enough, like their communication style) I'll be more lenient and move my schedule around. Other factors -him being short, tattoos, earrings, on top of his communication style.. no thank you. Just kept loosing interest as he kept talking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Oh come on, he acted like a git and i wonder how he managed to graduate uni if he cant organise a single date. Like you haven't written guys off for less gaeta lol Link to post Share on other sites
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