Dating outside your paygrade

[Auspecial]

I have been a very hard working professional woman for many years, but lost my career in 2008. I am healthy and happy in general, but have been struggling financially ever since. I am in the bracket of people who are "forced part-time" because we want full-time work but have not been able to get it. I am still very hard working. I currently have four part-time jobs. But they are not professional jobs. I can't afford to go back to college and get another degree, and I can't use the one I had for many years. I still submit resumes and applications on a daily basis.

 

 

I am finding that soooo many men look down on what I do for a living. I don't have a problem with them being attracted to me physically, but sooner or later, they let me know in one way or another that they don't consider me to be "serious" material, because I don't have a professional job.

 

 

The last guy kept making comments like what (I) do for a living "is ok for now......" (while I have been and am kicking butt to get what I have already) and "yes I just got divorced and look what I ended up with". Incidentally, his ex wife never worked in their 25 year marriage.) At a party recently, every time a friend of his would ask about my job, he would leave the room, embarrassed (I am guessing) about my response. That guy was a real estate manager, with a four year degree. Another guy I wasn't really interested in, kept emailing me and finally exasperatedly told me "you can't be that busy working these little marketer, bartender, server, catering jobs." That guy was an electrical engineer. Another recent guy, a plumbers assistant, condescendingly told me that I would do better with one full-time job. REALLY?!!! I have been trying to do that for six years. I mention their careers because its not like they are making huge amounts of money.

 

 

Yes, of course I would love to be making more money. But in reality, I am content with my life and I have actually come a long way from the crash in 2008. I work very hard and I also enjoy my work.

 

 

Is it really so hard to find quality men who are not shallow? And able to see value in character of a person, not just material things or titles. It seems to be getting worse and worse.

 

 

Please no gold-digger comments. I realize there are some shallow women out there, but I am not one of them, and I am talking about my recent experiences with men, because that's who I am dating.

[barcode88]

Well you can't expect successful men to compromise for you. You get out of a relationship what you put into it - and yes successful people want to date those who are also successful.

 

 

In a way you are indirectly gold-digging because you want a guy to take care of you.

 

 

If you want to do better financially, you should take charge of your own life.

 

 

Sorry if I come across as blunt - just trying to be helpful.

[carhill]

I bet a plumber or electrician wouldn't be making such comments, and I know plenty who earn six figure incomes. It's not about pay. It's about image. I've dealt with it for decades, earning a living underneath houses or in a greasy machine shop. Heck, my exW wouldn't even set foot in the shop. In contrast to men of my father's generation who greatly valued women of lesser education and career prospects or pay, men today have responded to the new ideals and standards women set for whom they choose and now men choose similarly. If the lady, or man, doesn't make the grade, push the eject button. That's life!

[Auspecial]

Barcode, I get what you are saying.

 

 

Thing is, these guys pursued me, not the opposite. Maybe because I "look" professional because I do carry myself that way. Then they find out that I'm not, I'm "just" a very hard worker.

 

 

I have been also trying to start a business, which carries the assumption of greater professionalism, but that has been extremely slow, so I lump it in with my other freelance jobs.

 

 

I have never expected, or asked anyone to pay anything for me. I do expect them to pay for lunch or dinner if they ask me out. Its the same that I expected before financial crash when was a professional making good money. Often, if I am meeting a date at their place to later go out, I bring a bottle of wine or other "house gift". I may be living paycheck to paycheck, but I'm not cheap!

 

 

What I'm saying is, it has to be crystal clear that: I am working very hard to not just survive, but to thrive. And crystal clear that just because someone doesn't have a full-time professional job, that doesn't mean they are looking for financial assistance! Heck, I am the one bringing them occasional gifts, not the other way around.

 

 

?? The mentality confuses me.

[GET IT ON]

Sorry for your run of bad luck with men! It just seems odd to me that there are really guys out there that would look down on you for how you choose to support yourself! unless you were a dancer or the like . That would be a big turn off for me ! I cant for the life of me get over the fact that your seeing a pattern here! Maby your fishing in the wrong lake !

I say this because I for one just got dumped for not making enough of a living ,when at first I was told you don't need alot of money to have me love you ! just stay exactly the way you are kind,loving,supportive, honest and respect me ! so I figured well this should be easy! NOT after a year and a half found out she's a badge girl as she put it ! she likes new things needs her space and here is the kicker want's to and I quote " exsperiance new things "ie; other men!

Blind sided SHOCKER! Sorry this isn't about me lol ..

You seem nice and steady in this crazy thing called life .. Maby be a bit more selective unless you are trying to land the whale? I don't think you are ... but maby something to think about ...

[Auspecial]

Carheel: I agree, its not precisely about pay, its more about judging. I really don't know what the plumbers assistant paycheck was like, but he more had a judgement about me not having a full-time job, like there was something wrong with me.

[Vintage79]

I don't really see it as being shallow. By most metrics I am a very successful guy and I generally won't consider dating people that don't have a regular job, and that's a for a few reasons - note that none of them have to do with money, because I don't need that from them.

 

Reason 1: The lack of a professional type job is illustrative of drive and passion - if they're fine working at McDonald's, more power to them, but I need someone to be enthusiastic of life, and truthfully, it's hard to communicate that if you're not super excited about your job (where you spend the majority of your time).

 

Reason 2: If they can't hold down a regular job, why should I assume that they can maintain a real relationship - I get that they're not perfectly correlated, but it's telling.

 

Reason 3: It speaks towards their required dependence on a mate, and consequently, creates (even if unintentional) a power imbalance in the relationship - I want a partner to be on equal footing. Don't get me wrong, I like providing and helping, but if I don't think that they can really get by on their own, that's where the power imbalance enters the picture

 

Reason 4: It's hard for me to respect a McJobber - likely due to reason 1, but if I don't respect what the person does for a living, it's harder for me to respect them

 

Reason 5: Unless you already really know the person, it's really easy to use the type of job that they have as a surrogate or intellectual capacity - I appreciate sharp conversation, and if I look at a doctor versus someone who works at a gas station - I'd go with the doctor all day long in terms of where the conversation is most interesting

 

Reason 6: For someone who has 4 jobs, their schedule would be much less predictable, likely packed, etc. These people generally live higher stress lives, are less satisfied with life, more likely to be overweight, shorter life expectancy, more likely to use drugs and smoke, elevated divorce rates, etc. Basically, there are all sorts of correlations with part-time jobbers with very negative personality and physical attributes - if possible, I'll stack the deck in my favor.

 

Most of those positions are supported with very good data, but they are still correlations, and consequently, don't apply to everyone.

[GET IT ON]

Also this quote comes to mind that I read on LS

"People that care and are unbiased .. should be trusted!

for they are untainted by Need!"

[elaine567]

I don't really see it as being shallow. By most metrics I am a very successful guy and I generally won't consider dating people that don't have a regular job, and that's a for a few reasons - note that none of them have to do with money, because I don't need that from them.

 

Reason 1: The lack of a professional type job is illustrative of drive and passion - if they're fine working at McDonald's, more power to them, but I need someone to be enthusiastic of life, and truthfully, it's hard to communicate that if you're not super excited about your job (where you spend the majority of your time).

 

Reason 2: If they can't hold down a regular job, why should I assume that they can maintain a real relationship - I get that they're not perfectly correlated, but it's telling.

 

Reason 3: It speaks towards their required dependence on a mate, and consequently, creates (even if unintentional) a power imbalance in the relationship - I want a partner to be on equal footing. Don't get me wrong, I like providing and helping, but if I don't think that they can really get by on their own, that's where the power imbalance enters the picture

 

Reason 4: It's hard for me to respect a McJobber - likely due to reason 1, but if I don't respect what the person does for a living, it's harder for me to respect them

 

Reason 5: Unless you already really know the person, it's really easy to use the type of job that they have as a surrogate or intellectual capacity - I appreciate sharp conversation, and if I look at a doctor versus someone who works at a gas station - I'd go with the doctor all day long in terms of where the conversation is most interesting

 

Reason 6: For someone who has 4 jobs, their schedule would be much less predictable, likely packed, etc. These people generally live higher stress lives, are less satisfied with life, more likely to be overweight, shorter life expectancy, more likely to use drugs and smoke, elevated divorce rates, etc. Basically, there are all sorts of correlations with part-time jobbers with very negative personality and physical attributes - if possible, I'll stack the deck in my favor.

 

Most of those positions are supported with very good data, but they are still correlations, and consequently, don't apply to everyone.

 

 

OK we get your preferences, but how does this help Auspecial who was a professional woman but who now cannot get any job apart from menial part time ones. I guess she is not alone there.

[Vintage79]

OK we get your preferences, but how does this help Auspecial who was a professional woman but who now cannot get any job apart from menial part time ones. I guess she is not alone there.

 

It doesn't explicitly help her - as I generally select people based on who they are today, not what they were like in 2008. That said, there are a lot of very specific things that I mentioned - someone could make a proactive attempt to pre-emptively illustrate that those things don't apply to them - in which case the correlations and generalizations will be invalid, and she'll be judged based more on her personality as opposed to stereotypes...

 

In the end, that type of wmployment is a less attractive attribute than having a cool, fun job that you're passionate about, so it's going to be an extra hurdle...there's no reason to sugar coat it and say if you do these 2 things you're on equal footing with well to do, passionate about life person...to be on equal footing, you need to be well to do and passionate about life.

[mightycpa]

You must mean white collar, because true professionals can work for themselves, as they are licensed by the state to do so. Or did you do something to lose that license?

 

You make it sound like you made buggy whips, and the car was invented, leaving you without any options.

 

I can't afford to go back to college and get another degree, and I can't use the one I had for many years.

 

As to the problem you asked about, well, you're going to get that from some guys. It sounds pretty cut and dry. They don't respect you. Nobody needs that.

[fitnessfan365]

If you're genuine, loyal, good in bed, and supportive of your man, he'll be focused a lot less on what you do for work. To be honest, it sounds like it is a source of insecurity for you, and you're letting it effect your confidence.

 

For me personally, as long as she has some sort of job and contributes financially every once and awhile, I don't really care what she does for a living. After all, I am dating her, not her employment history. Besides a woman that works part time, has more free time to take care of my needs.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

I have been a very hard working professional woman for many years, but lost my career in 2008. I am healthy and happy in general, but have been struggling financially ever since. I am in the bracket of people who are "forced part-time" because we want full-time work but have not been able to get it. I am still very hard working. I currently have four part-time jobs. But they are not professional jobs. I can't afford to go back to college and get another degree, and I can't use the one I had for many years. I still submit resumes and applications on a daily basis.

 

 

I am finding that soooo many men look down on what I do for a living. I don't have a problem with them being attracted to me physically, but sooner or later, they let me know in one way or another that they don't consider me to be "serious" material, because I don't have a professional job.

 

 

The last guy kept making comments like what (I) do for a living "is ok for now......" (while I have been and am kicking butt to get what I have already) and "yes I just got divorced and look what I ended up with". Incidentally, his ex wife never worked in their 25 year marriage.) At a party recently, every time a friend of his would ask about my job, he would leave the room, embarrassed (I am guessing) about my response. That guy was a real estate manager, with a four year degree. Another guy I wasn't really interested in, kept emailing me and finally exasperatedly told me "you can't be that busy working these little marketer, bartender, server, catering jobs." That guy was an electrical engineer. Another recent guy, a plumbers assistant, condescendingly told me that I would do better with one full-time job. REALLY?!!! I have been trying to do that for six years. I mention their careers because its not like they are making huge amounts of money.

 

 

Yes, of course I would love to be making more money. But in reality, I am content with my life and I have actually come a long way from the crash in 2008. I work very hard and I also enjoy my work.

 

 

Is it really so hard to find quality men who are not shallow? And able to see value in character of a person, not just material things or titles. It seems to be getting worse and worse.

 

 

Please no gold-digger comments. I realize there are some shallow women out there, but I am not one of them, and I am talking about my recent experiences with men, because that's who I am dating.

 

The men who condescended you, embarrassed you and made you feel inferior to themselves are narcissists - and you should thank your lucky stars that you found this out about them now, BEFORE you invested any time or emotions with them!

 

A man who is truly decent, empathetic and humble would NEVER have treated you that way. What should be important to any man who dates you (and should actually be impressed about you) is that you are WORKING. There are SO many women who are LAZY, spoiled divas who DON'T work and expect any guy they're with to take care of THEM. And not only are you working - you're working FOUR jobs - because you're a RESPONSIBLE person who PAYS their bills and SECURES their obligations with NO help from anyone else!!! I, for one, am impressed with how hard you work just to make ends meet.

 

It's NOT your fault that fate has dealt you a $hitty hand with regard to your career and not being able to find full-time work! ANY guy who treats you like you're "less-than" just because you're not working full-time or because you don't have a "professional" career is NOT a guy you'd want to be with anyways.

 

If successful people want to date other successful people, then they can do that in a way that is NOT condescending or hurtful to the person whose salary doesn't meet THEIR expectations.

 

Thank God I've never come across those types of men! I don't have what anyone would call a "successful" career, but you know what?! It's an office job that PAYS my bills and PROVIDES for me and my family! I'm proud of what I do and it doesn't matter to me one bit what someone else thinks of my job. All of the guys I've ever dated have asked me what I do for a living, and when I tell them that I'm an administrative assistant for a property management company, they all reacted positively and proceeded to tell me about their careers - which were way more lucrative and prestigious than mine.

 

Just keep on doing what you've been doing, OP. You're EARNING a respectable living and taking care of your obligations on your own. Don't *EVER* let a man or ANYONE else condescend you or make you feel inferior to them! If a guy EVER treated me that way, I would leave where ever we were at, get in my car and drive away...and the inconsiderate, conceited buffoon would NEVER see or hear from me ever again.

 

 

.

[Auspecial]

If you're genuine, loyal, good in bed, and supportive of your man, he'll be focused a lot less on what you do for work. To be honest, it sounds like it is a source of insecurity for you, and you're letting it effect your confidence.

 

For me personally, as long as she has some sort of job and contributes financially every once and awhile, I don't really care what she does for a living. After all, I am dating her, not her employment history. Besides a woman that works part time, has more free time to take care of my needs.

 

FitnessFan:

 

 

Yes, I agree, it is a source of insecurity for me, because for many years I was successful financially. And I never dreamed it would be so difficult, because I never had any problem with getting good work in the past. Supposedly there are a LOT like me out there. But people like me are silent, because we are strong and want to lift ourselves out.

[smackie9]

Anyone is going to question why you have to work so many jobs, that's life.

 

I'm sure if it was switched around and you have always worked full time you would question a guy that is working 4 part time jobs am I right?

 

Ya have to put it into perspective, you have to change yourself in order for people to change they way they feel about you.

[fitnessfan365]

FitnessFan:

 

 

Yes, I agree, it is a source of insecurity for me, because for many years I was successful financially. And I never dreamed it would be so difficult, because I never had any problem with getting good work in the past. Supposedly there are a LOT like me out there. But people like me are silent, because we are strong and want to lift ourselves out.

 

I hear you. It's tough going from being self sufficient and really successful to a part time employee struggling. There was one point where I was doing REALLY well as a freelance personal trainer. Then in the span of a month, I lost 90% of my clients (all due to legitimate reasons - moving, financial hardship, etc). Luckily I had a ton of money saved, but eventually I had to go back to working in a gym for the first time in YEARS. It was rough having a boss again. But in the end, you make the best of the situation and fight through it. It's all you can do.

[RedButton]

Honestly, it shouldn't matter what you do in my mind. People might not be working at the same 'grade' for many reasons. Maybe it's not their passion and they are doing that to pay the bills while they work on something they do love. Maybe they have a challenge getting a better job for whatever reason. Maybe they enjoy the work-life balance they get from being 'under-employed' and direct their passion/drive elsewhere? I don't feel someone's job or career defines them as a person.

 

I could happily date a woman making more or less than myself so long as we were right for eachother, which runs far deeper than what they do for a pay-cheque.

[Auspecial]

The men who condescended you, embarrassed you and made you feel inferior to themselves are narcissists - and you should thank your lucky stars that you found this out about them now, BEFORE you invested any time or emotions with them!

 

A man who is truly decent, empathetic and humble would NEVER have treated you that way. What should be important to any man who dates you (and should actually be impressed about you) is that you are WORKING. There are SO many women who are LAZY, spoiled divas who DON'T work and expect any guy they're with to take care of THEM. And not only are you working - you're working FOUR jobs - because you're a RESPONSIBLE person who PAYS their bills and SECURES their obligations with NO help from anyone else!!! I, for one, am impressed with how hard you work just to make ends meet.

 

It's NOT your fault that fate has dealt you a $hitty hand with regard to your career and not being able to find full-time work! ANY guy who treats you like you're "less-than" just because you're not working full-time or because you don't have a "professional" career is NOT a guy you'd want to be with anyways.

 

If successful people want to date other successful people, then they can do that in a way that is NOT condescending or hurtful to the person whose salary doesn't meet THEIR expectations.

 

Thank God I've never come across those types of men! I don't have what anyone would call a "successful" career, but you know what?! It's an office job that PAYS my bills and PROVIDES for me and my family! I'm proud of what I do and it doesn't matter to me one bit what someone else thinks of my job. All of the guys I've ever dated have asked me what I do for a living, and when I tell them that I'm an administrative assistant for a property management company, they all reacted positively and proceeded to tell me about their careers - which were way more lucrative and prestigious than mine.

 

Just keep on doing what you've been doing, OP. You're EARNING a respectable living and taking care of your obligations on your own. Don't *EVER* let a man or ANYONE else condescend you or make you feel inferior to them! If a guy EVER treated me that way, I would leave where ever we were at, get in my car and drive away...and the inconsiderate, conceited buffoon would NEVER see or hear from me ever again.

 

 

.

 

 

 

Thank you for this response! I wasn't expecting a lot of support honestly, but this actually made me tear up a bit.

 

 

The funny thing is, they all talked a good talk prior to the comments. I had a vague idea they didn't quite approve, but didn't know for sure until they made the comments. I have a good opinion of myself, and so I guess I assumed they did too, since they pursued me so much.

 

 

Thanks again, I am going to print this and put it on my computer as a reminder. LOL

[Auspecial]

I don't really see it as being shallow. By most metrics I am a very successful guy and I generally won't consider dating people that don't have a regular job, and that's a for a few reasons - note that none of them have to do with money, because I don't need that from them.

 

Reason 1: The lack of a professional type job is illustrative of drive and passion - if they're fine working at McDonald's, more power to them, but I need someone to be enthusiastic of life, and truthfully, it's hard to communicate that if you're not super excited about your job (where you spend the majority of your time).

 

Reason 2: If they can't hold down a regular job, why should I assume that they can maintain a real relationship - I get that they're not perfectly correlated, but it's telling.

 

Reason 3: It speaks towards their required dependence on a mate, and consequently, creates (even if unintentional) a power imbalance in the relationship - I want a partner to be on equal footing. Don't get me wrong, I like providing and helping, but if I don't think that they can really get by on their own, that's where the power imbalance enters the picture

 

Reason 4: It's hard for me to respect a McJobber - likely due to reason 1, but if I don't respect what the person does for a living, it's harder for me to respect them

 

Reason 5: Unless you already really know the person, it's really easy to use the type of job that they have as a surrogate or intellectual capacity - I appreciate sharp conversation, and if I look at a doctor versus someone who works at a gas station - I'd go with the doctor all day long in terms of where the conversation is most interesting

 

Reason 6: For someone who has 4 jobs, their schedule would be much less predictable, likely packed, etc. These people generally live higher stress lives, are less satisfied with life, more likely to be overweight, shorter life expectancy, more likely to use drugs and smoke, elevated divorce rates, etc. Basically, there are all sorts of correlations with part-time jobbers with very negative personality and physical attributes - if possible, I'll stack the deck in my favor.

 

Most of those positions are supported with very good data, but they are still correlations, and consequently, don't apply to everyone.

 

Thanks for your clear and detailed response. I'll respond to each point:

 

 

1. Lack of Profession/Lack of Drive. I agree this could be a knee-jerk assumption (judgement,) but anyone who spends time with me either during work or any work-related or social endeavors would easily see that I am driven and love life. The same guy who made the weird comments that I posted earlier, has also told me that I am one of the most determined women he knows and that my positivity has greatly impressed him. Unfortunately, his other comments hold more weight (as in dead-weight) for me, and I had to cut him loose, so I could maintain my positive levity.

 

 

2. Hold regular job/?Hold relationship. Not sure about this one. I guess the statistics are all over the place, since there are so many different types of careers out there.

 

 

3. Power Imbalance (unintentional). Definitely agree with this. Its about perceived power. An ability or inability to see others value beyond material value. This is what I meant about being shallow, but I think it can be as simple as a subconscious leaning, for example the tax attorney who thinks his work phone calls are more important than my work phone calls, and doesn't actually say this until some other moment in the relationship, but the thought was there the whole time.

 

 

4. Lack of respect. This all depends on level of shallowness, I guess there is a continuum. For example, when I bartend, its not a pub, its up-scale functions, and I make pretty good money. Its just not a consistent job, so I do other jobs too. The marketing job is basically a professional job but I think I tend to sell myself short on that because its not full time and I am always hustling for the work. The money there is good but inconsistent.

 

 

5. Intellectual capacity. Agree. Having said that, I have plenty of stories about genius deadbeats or genius laborers, vs. highly educated people who may be intelligent, but still uninteresting. As you said, you wouldn't know this until you got to know a person.

 

 

6. Four jobs/unpredictable schedule, higher stress, low life satisfaction, overweight, short life, drugs, smoke, divorce rates: True for unpredictable schedule. But I still make time for a social life, for sure! Higher stress, I have to disagree, at least for myself. I think that is a personal choice, and I chose to not live stressed-out. Life satisfaction- I feel that I have been so lucky in so many areas of my very rich life and I am extremely grateful. When I do gratitude lists they are ridiculously long. My satisfaction is poor on feeling these guys don't think I am good enough, even after all that I do and all that I am. My BMI is 20, and hopefully 25+ years of yoga will help with my lifespan. I have never done drugs, but I do enjoy some Chenin and Savignon blancs. I have never smoked. Re: divorce, I am divorced, but I imagine most the people on dating sites are, even the ones with a regular full-time professional job!

[Auspecial]

It doesn't explicitly help her - as I generally select people based on who they are today, not what they were like in 2008. That said, there are a lot of very specific things that I mentioned - someone could make a proactive attempt to pre-emptively illustrate that those things don't apply to them - in which case the correlations and generalizations will be invalid, and she'll be judged based more on her personality as opposed to stereotypes...

 

In the end, that type of wmployment is a less attractive attribute than having a cool, fun job that you're passionate about, so it's going to be an extra hurdle...there's no reason to sugar coat it and say if you do these 2 things you're on equal footing with well to do, passionate about life person...to be on equal footing, you need to be well to do and passionate about life.

 

 

 

 

I appreciate your comment about making preemptive steps to combat snap judgements. I do this somewhat but not with a great effort, because I feel its a little manipulative and I want someone to have the capacity to see who I am and value that. The guys I mentioned previously all approached me, and I made no preemptive maneuvers, I just told them about my life.

 

 

I understand what you are saying about dating who someone is now vs. who they were in 2008. Adding to that, I have dated and been really interested in several men who do not now have nearly the material wealth (and sometimes health) as they once did, but I was able to connect the dots and see who they were then and how that contributes to the person they present today. But, I have also rejected if I felt their obstacle was too great.

[Buddhist]

Is it really so hard to find quality men who are not shallow? And able to see value in character of a person, not just material things or titles. It seems to be getting worse and worse.

 

Yes. It's very difficult. Quality people in general are hard to find. People who are willing to build a relationship even harder. No-one can tell you what to do, you'll have to decide if wading through the dross is worth it to find someone eventually.

 

I personally decided it wasn't worth it for me. Too much time wasting, and shifted my focus in life to creating a business instead. If I want sex, affection or cuddling there are other options apart from having a partner.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

Yes. It's very difficult. Quality people in general are hard to find. People who are willing to build a relationship even harder. No-one can tell you what to do, you'll have to decide if wading through the dross is worth it to find someone eventually.

 

I personally decided it wasn't worth it for me. Too much time wasting, and shifted my focus in life to creating a business instead. If I want sex, affection or cuddling there are other options apart from having a partner.

 

What other options are you speaking of? FWBs? If so, to me that's way worse than trying to seek a partner who wants to be sexually intimate with you that also loves you or has strong feelings for you.

 

Paying for an Escort? If so, to me that's just a horrific way to experience a fake and empty form of sexual intimacy.

 

What other options are there to experience affection or cuddling? Do they have Cuddle Buddy services in existence? Or are you speaking of cuddling with or experiencing affection with a friend of the opposite gender?

 

The only time I'll ever give up on dating is when I've completely lost ALL hope in the male species of the human race. Seems like you've reached that point already. How sad.

 

 

.

[elaine567]

 

Is it really so hard to find quality men who are not shallow? And able to see value in character of a person, not just material things or titles.

 

I think that some men may want to latch on to a woman with a better job, to elevate their own status and to increase their financial incomings too.

"I may be only be a plumber's assistant, but my wife is a doctor, or an accountant or runs her own business."

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have to say, kudos to Auspecial, I've been in shoes where it was near impossible to get a job no matter HOW many resumes or interviews you had.

 

One's only shoe in to get into a job is if you're related to someone or know someone that can hook you up.

 

I have struggled incessantly at one time to find work only to be turned down constantly. I threw my hands up at one time when someone said I was "overqualified" when at an interview...I said, "So why did you even call me in for an interview?"

 

Anyhow, that being said, you're not alone. I recall former Managers who made big salaries who got laid off, had to sell their 2 door garage/2 story home to move into a condo, even spent all their 401K until they had to go on foodstamps.

 

I recall seeing job fairs where lines 'rounding the sides of the building.

 

Now there I'm hearing of some job placement business likely running a scam to make the poor even poorer by attempting to promise job placement IF they sign up for courses. At the end of it all, they wind up 10's of thousands of dollars in debt, and the only job placement they got was at a Wal-Mart stocking shelves.

[smackie9]

I don't know about you but there are plenty of jobs in the trades. It's the jouneymen plumbers, electricians, carpenters, etc that are driving around in a BMW or a Lexus, not the doctors or lawyers.

 

Jobs in the technical/computer sector are so flooded with people looking for those jobs where there isn't enough to go around.