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feelings for my friend


russian2

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I have known her just over a year now. we are both 28 years old. We met through a post college organization and lived on the other side of the country. We would keep in contact throughout the year because we would always be working on projects together. Whether it was phone, text or internet messaging, we have been in contact since.

 

the problem: she has a boyfriend. she has dated him for about 3 years, and then they broke up for about a year and have been dating again for just over a year now.

 

I recently moved across the country near her (job related, not related to her) which means we are a lot closer. We are extremely flirty with each other in person as well as over the phone (we have not done anything cheating related because we both agree it is wrong) but we both acknowledge that we have feelings for each other. We talk almost every day on the phone whether it is related to our projects or not. She never talks about her BF and always tells me how difficult it is when she talks to me because she has feelings for me but is in that situation. They live together and I feel that is one reason that she has not broken up with him yet.

 

I really feel as if i need to sit her down and have a talk with her but I am not even sure what to say when I sit her down. Any ideas or advice?

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I would say try your best to meet another girl, the whole thing seems like it won't turn out well because of the distance. Why can't you find a girl nearby? I know it's not easy but if you really put effort into that you surely can.

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I would say try your best to meet another girl, the whole thing seems like it won't turn out well because of the distance. Why can't you find a girl nearby? I know it's not easy but if you really put effort into that you surely can.

 

 

I moved because of a job and I am now nearby her. I previously lived across the country from her.

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fitnessfan365

Dude.. I'm gonna be honest with you. The minute you became friends with her, you pretty much lost any opportunity to ever be more. Now I know that society has been conditioned with all these BS movies and TV shows where the nice guy friend gets the girl in the end.

 

However, in real life it doesn't work that way. She can tell that you like her. So she's feeding you maybes and "if it weren't for my boyfriend" to keep you around because she likes the emotional support. But the fact is that she'll keep focusing on her boyfriend and using you as an emotional tampon.

 

What you need to do is just walk away from the girl. Be honest and say "I have no desire to just be friends with you. If you're truly open to something romantic between us, then give me a call. But otherwise I don't think we should speak to each other anymore." The only way you can get her to see you as more than a friend, is if you stop acting like one and get her to see what she's missing. Now chances are, you'll never hear from her again. But that's still better than pining after someone you're never going to get.

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