Dating a woman with a 6 month baby. (Welcome to the Sh*t-fest)

[Larry56]

Larry here, your old 'compadre' is back with another exciting adventure that involves me choosing the worst situation a man can choose (because I live for the pain). My sister tells me I tend to choose mentally ill patients for girlfriends, and I sometimes thinks she's right because I can't help but try to stick my weiner in crazy once a month. Maybe I just want to 'save women' and all those video games in the 80s like Super Mario Bros taught me to be a misogynistic pig. But seriously, I'm an OK guy. I just seem to attract the vulnerable.

 

So, what's been happening since my last foray into posting on this site. I've had 9 flings/short relationships/one nighters with some alright people in a year. There were times when I liked women who didn't like me back, and the reverse scenario. One night I made love with a woman who was a tattooed up sexy freak that I would never dreamed of sleeping with before until she came to my house...and gushed like the Niagra falls.

 

Now, as much I like this kind of stuff. Larry's a romantic man. He's a simple man with simple dreams and desires. I just want a woman who will love me for me for me and I would support her emotionally, physically and intellectually. I might not have the money to take her to doscia, but I'll remember her favourite song...Run her a bath every now and then after a long day at the office. I'll leave a note on her pillow with a quote from her favourite book. Yeah...

 

So...what's been happening lately. Right so. I meet a woman and she my type. Same everything, same interests blah blah. But she has a poop-machine called Larry Jr. All my guy friends are saying 'abort!' But I like this woman. I like her humour, her face and her values. I don't mind kids and I see a future with her.

 

So it's been two weeks since we went on our first date. We had a great date (we kissed and hung out with the gas machine)

 

We've been talking quite a bit up until the last few days, but since then I've felt her going a bit cold on me. It seemed to coincide with her dealing with her ex (who isn't in the picture at all and has another girlfriend but they are dealing with a custody battle). Should I just let back to me when she seems emotionally available? You know...give her space?

 

but also, after the first date I asked her out on a second date. Now remember that we continued to chat constantly but she said she was busy that next weekend but didn't say when she might be free next. However, she has continued to text and call me for the last week up until this Friday.

 

Now, at the moment I don't want to ask again until she seems a bit more interested in me. But I guess, because she didn't seem as interested in a second date or at least didn't throw herself at Larry for seconds, maybe I should put that down as she isn't interested?

 

Look, I'm not dumb - I know she's probably spending 99% of every waking moment with this little angel of joy. I guess I don't know how to pursue a woman like this because I havern't been in this situation before..I've already shown quite a bit of interest in her. Our chemistry is good. Or maybe this is bad timing? I mean, should I just let her come to me since I've shown her a lot of attention already?

 

So that's 'ma story people. Larry wants to find love, I really do. I want the normal life. I wanna come home and take off my boots. Kiss my girlfriend and say "Honey, how's the gastroenterology department today?", and she'll smile and say "Darling...it was sh*t-fest".

[Noproblem]

I think you should wait until you know for sure that she is not looking for a man to support her

 

but she truly likes YOU

 

not someone who is just going to be a father for her son and that's it

 

 

I mean keep the texts alive, but text her every week or so

 

 

Don't be pushy, needy

 

You don't really know her yet!

 

and frankly, she is a new mama, she is not ready yet!

 

 

Meanwhile, don't keep waiting by the phone

 

 

Go and try to meet new people!

 

 

Maybe you will find the love there!

[BeatsByDirk]

Good for you Larry!

Why not give it a shot with her I say?

But yeah, you have to play it super cool.

You can only advance when she gives you the green light.

I think you can spend as much time with her as she makes available for you to spend with her but don't make or alter any plans if she's been wishy washy of asks you to do something last minute. If you lay back and wait, but still act engaging and interested without being pushy when you get a chance, if it's a good situation she will come around.

She's probably got a lot on her plate and the baby's dad is involved at all there's going to be a piece of her who wants her baby to have a life with his daddy if possible and if the dude ain't a full on douche.

If you don't mind taking your time while still living your life it should be ok.

If you meet someone else because this isn't moving, it's nobodies fault, it just didn't work out at this time.

Also maybe consider when you date a single mother you also chance dating her ex ok baby daddy at the same time.

Think it through if it's worth it or not but this shouldn't be too hard to navigate if you can play it chill.

Good luck!

[preraph]

Well, Larry, it's time for you to be a rock. Going through a child-custody battle is the absolute worst time in a woman's life short of losing a child. Talk about a sh*tfest. Her ex will be bringing up every little untoward thing about her he can think of and threatening to take her baby. They do that so the woman gets so scared she'll settle for less than she deserves of the assets and child support. It will last for some months and right when you think it's settled one of them gets a better job or loses their job and it all starts back up again. This woman is walking around feeling a large stone in her gut about this every day all day. He will be bringing up every substances she's ever imbibed, every man he ever suspected of her cheating on him with or being the father, and every memory of her showing her boobs at Mardi Gras.

 

What she can't have right now, with a 24/7 baby and a custody battle is anyone who demands anything more of her. So you be her rock. Let her know you don't want to pull on her. Let her know you want to help whenever you can however you can. Let her know you care about her and are there for her when she needs you. And then step back and be patient. Stay in touch, but don't pressure.

 

And on a cautionary note, you like her ethics, but she has a tiny baby and isn't with the father. So we know she will get pregnant with someone who may not have been locked down at the time or committed. Worst-case scenario, she may have done it hoping to lock him down. It happens. Best-case scenario, they were committed and he did something that made it go horribly wrong. Either way: You be sure and take care of your own contraception because history often repeats itself. Don't leave it to her at this point.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I think you like her and you explained that you want to save women, maybe she needs you and you would love to be needed in that way?? But the amount of attention she will have for you and time as well will be limited ..

Edited February 1, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator