ohbother Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Currently I am student teaching and on one day of the weekend I work at a grocery store. Now this girl doesn't work at the grocery store itself, but there is a restaurant inside the grocery store that she works at. I would be okay with dating her since this isn't a long term job for me and our jobs only share a building. We do not talk much. I will go over there on my break and order something and our conversations consist of just “how are you doing? Good.” Whenever I get my food she always somehow finds an excuse to clean in my relative eating location. I always catch her looking at me and I was really surprised when just the other day she found me through facebook without having any mutual friends or even knowing my last name. I am rather quiet and have a hard time breaking the ice and asking a girl out on a date. As lame as it may be, I am the kind of guy that really likes to have obvious clues that a woman is interested in me. Part of me is even afraid if she says yes as I have a bit of trust issues after my last relationship that ended a year ago. From my point of view, she seems like she is into me, but since we haven't really talked much and I only have an opportunity 1 day a week to talk to her, I do not really know how to get things in motion. When I am on break she is always busy working and I feel weird asking her on a date in front of customers. My only other means of contacting her is through facebook, but I would much rather ask her in person. Any advice? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Do you know for sure that she is single? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohbother Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Do you know for sure that she is single? Yes, according to facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Fortune favours the brave. Just ask her out in a simple and straight forward way. Invite her out to dinner somewhere nice, but not over the top expensive. Don't delay so that you don't lose your momentum. Ask her next time you see her. Link to post Share on other sites
bigbill647 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I'm going to agree with Satu. When you talk to her just ask her out. Or if you're really worried about saying something in front of the costumers ask her for her number and give her a call when she's off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Because this is a job not your career, the prohibitions about not dating in the work place don't apply with the same force. Next time you see her, ask her if she wants to get a coffee or a drink after work. Very casual. Low risk. If that goes well, get her number then ask her on another date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Are you sure you're not Darren? Because you sound a lot like a regular here named Darren. Do ask her out. Look for a special event that isn't expensive. Like check the local paper or google for "your town name" and "events." Find something like a street fair or a special zoo day or an art gallery showing or WhateverFest and say, "Hey, (girl name), you going to WhateverFest?" Whatever she says next, ask if she wants to go with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohbother Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Fortune favours the brave. Just ask her out in a simple and straight forward way. Invite her out to dinner somewhere nice, but not over the top expensive. Don't delay so that you don't lose your momentum. Ask her next time you see her. So I planned on doing it today at work, however I went home sick. I decided to get some food before I left hoping she would be there at the register. However, she went on break right as I arrived. I assume she wanted to eat lunch with me because it was all too convenient. However since I was going home sick, I just took my food and left (she had no idea I was sick). I really do not want her to think that she creeped me out by tracking me down on facebook, but I feel like I am really sending that vibe. I do not work for a whole week and she may not even be scheduled to work the same time as me. How bad of an idea would it be to send a friendly facebook message if we haven't really talked that much in person? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 How bad of an idea would it be to send a friendly facebook message if we haven't really talked that much in person? It depends on what you said. Personally I'd make a post on your wall about how you went home sick & lamenting the flu that is going around. She will then know you didn't do anything because of her. To privately say that to her, makes it look like you think she's chasing you. What if you're wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohbother Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 It depends on what you said. Personally I'd make a post on your wall about how you went home sick & lamenting the flu that is going around. She will then know you didn't do anything because of her. To privately say that to her, makes it look like you think she's chasing you. What if you're wrong? I don't post on my wall much, I meant more so just starting a conversation having nothing to do with me going home sick. Just one so she knows I am at least interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 The time to act comes and goes. Act now, or you may miss the window of opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohbother Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 The time to act comes and goes. Act now, or you may miss the window of opportunity. And there it went. She keeps finding excuses to be in my general work area and it terrifies my super introvert shy self since it isn't on my own terms, so I find an excuse to leave the area. After doing that a couple of times I think she gave me the cold shoulder during times we usually have really small talk. Today, however I was really friendly with her and tried to make it obvious I wasn't avoiding her. She then provided a great opportunity for me to ask her, but this goofball didn't. If she is at work tomorrow I have to do it or else I am a disgrace to all of man kind. Any good tips to ask her after being weird so long? Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Her looking you up on facebook without knowing your last name is a good sign. The reason we date is to get the person around us so that they can fall in love. Since you work together and see her every week, guess what - you are already around her, you don't have to date. I'd keep doing what you are doing for at least a couple months before you ask her for her number. Maybe she'll ask you out first! If she's making the moves, you know she's ready and you don't face rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Her looking you up on facebook without knowing your last name is a good sign. The reason we date is to get the person around us so that they can fall in love. Since you work together and see her every week, guess what - you are already around her, you don't have to date. I'd keep doing what you are doing for at least a couple months before you ask her for her number. Maybe she'll ask you out first! If she's making the moves, you know she's ready and you don't face rejection. Usually I can agree with Gary. But not on this one. OP, be direct and strike while the iron is hot. She gave you the FB hint to purposely let you know she single. So that's your opening when you talk to her. You can tease her and poke fun at yourself at the same time to keep things light. "Usually I am oblivious to the signals that women give me. But even I can't help but notice when a woman goes out of her way to track me down on FB to show me her single status. So I'd love to grab dinner with you. When are you free?" But what would be hilarious is if the OP does two months of cat and mouse and then when he finally gets up the nerve to ask her out, she has a new boyfriend because she got sick of waiting. "Why didn't you ask me out two months ago when I tracked you down on FB to let you know I was single?" Hahaha Edited March 29, 2015 by fitnessfan365 Link to post Share on other sites
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