girlywoman25 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I met a man my age, he's 27 and I'm 26 on okcupid after chatting for awhile online. The first date went well. He was shy, he warned me before we met that he was, but it appeared he became more confortable and talked more. The feelings are mutual. We both like and are attracted to each other and planned a second date. He invited me to his mom's birthday party that is going to be at his house. I'm not sure if I should go. I don't want to move too fast here. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Don't go. Meeting the parents is one thing and that should involve doing just that: Meeting the Parents - NOT going to a party where a lot of other people will be there. Also, this is a time for and about his Mother and it would not be fair to her to have to meet and deal with a complete stranger on her special day. How would you feel if there was a party being held for YOU and suddenly you had to deal with meeting a stranger? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Too soon. I'm 38 and the big thing with dating at this age is meeting kids. If a guy suggests me meeting his kids really early in the relationship, it's a huge red flag for me. I won't necessarily end things but I will say I don't feel comfortable with that so early. You don't even have to tell him you're not comfortable with meeting his family. Maybe tell him you're busy that night but suggest something for another night if you're interested in seeing him again. But once you start meeting family, ending things can be harder because you feel like you have another attachment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Absolutely not. Too much too soon. If it's his mother's birthday than you will be meeting the entire family, not just the mom. You don't even know if you will make it to 3 dates with this dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Too soon. I'm 38 and the big thing with dating at this age is meeting kids. If a guy suggests me meeting his kids really early in the relationship, it's a huge red flag for me. I won't necessarily end things but I will say I don't feel comfortable with that so early. You don't even have to tell him you're not comfortable with meeting his family. Maybe tell him you're busy that night but suggest something for another night if you're interested in seeing him again. But once you start meeting family, ending things can be harder because you feel like you have another attachment. This would be the perfect way to handle it. I'll give the guy credit: I think he wants to do something more exciting than the boring coffee or dinner date, but he doesn't understand that this birthday party would be awkward and uncomfortable. Like Jessie said, tell him that you're busy that night and offer to do something else on another night. But when you make your counteroffer, be sure to mention a specific day so he doesn't think you're just flaking on him and aren't interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlywoman25 Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 This would be the perfect way to handle it. I'll give the guy credit: I think he wants to do something more exciting than the boring coffee or dinner date, but he doesn't understand that this birthday party would be awkward and uncomfortable. Like Jessie said, tell him that you're busy that night and offer to do something else on another night. But when you make your counteroffer, be sure to mention a specific day so he doesn't think you're just flaking on him and aren't interested. This is great advice. I kinda knew I shouldn't go. We already have a second date coming up sometimes next week. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I agree with not going and I want to mention the other side of the argument. A casual introduction to parents at a birthday party is ok early on. It's kind of a "too soon to worry about it" school of thought. He may be getting a stamp of approval from family saying, "You like her? We think she's good enough." It depends on ethnicity and a few other factors. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 It's a little soon but if you want to attend the birthday party & you are comfortable in a room full of strangers, there is no reason you should not go. Bring a card. Offer to take a lot of pictures (meaning when you see someone with a camera, take it from them so they can be in the photo). If the idea of going makes you uncomfortable, you are under no obligation to attend because it is a rather intense 2nd date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 secondly inviting you on a date to see his mum is a sure sign he wants to marry you. The issue now is to decide if you want this. Are you being sarcastic? I can never tell on the internet. From a 2nd date to marriage? . . . that's a gargantuan leap. I took the invitation as more a nice gesture by a socially immature man who did not realize that the invitation to attend his mother's birthday party as a second date unintentionally put the OP in an awkward position. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think he probably doesn't realize the implications. But if he does, it's way too soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlywoman25 Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 I think he probably doesn't realize the implications. But if he does, it's way too soon. That's what I am thinking. He is from a different county where they do things differently when it comes to dating Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlywoman25 Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 It's a little soon but if you want to attend the birthday party & you are comfortable in a room full of strangers, there is no reason you should not go. Bring a card. Offer to take a lot of pictures (meaning when you see someone with a camera, take it from them so they can be in the photo). If the idea of going makes you uncomfortable, you are under no obligation to attend because it is a rather intense 2nd date.[/quote. I don't think I'm going to go. Link to post Share on other sites
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