sgtmoody Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 So I met this girl online about 4 years ago. We chatted for a while became friends but it never really went anywhere I got the feeling she just wasnt interested in dating anyone at all. So I moved on eventually met someone else but we still kept in touch every now and then. About a year ago she texted me asking why we never dated but I was seeing someone and kinda didnt really answer her I didnt want to tell her it was because she never seemed interested ion dating. About 5-6 months ago I got out of the relationship I was in and texted her. We hit it off right away and said that we both felt like we missed a chance the first time around and agreed it would be a good idea to date and that we were both potentially looking for a relationship. We chatted all the time and started hanging out. She lives about 3 hours away so we hung out on weekends maybe every other weekend. But we played video games and stuff almost every night. Everything was great we made each other laugh all the time and things seemed to be going really well but I got the feeling she just wanted to take things slow. She would always sit on the other end of the couch and if I stayed at her place I would sleep on the couch. I was fine with that I figured she didnt want to rush into anything. It was kind of rough growing up her dad was abusive to her mom and she doesnt like him. so I figured take it slow no problem. She wanted me to meet her family and her friends. If we hung out with her friends or family they always seemed to know stuff about me so I assume she talked about me to them. over the holidays I ended up spending Christmas with her and her family we exchanged gifts and her mom even bought me a gift. After the holidays she started making up excuses about being tired or busy on the weekends. I figured maybe she just needed some space and didnt worry to much about it we still played games and stuff. Last week I asked her what she wanted out of this and where she wanted it to go and she said yea we should talk about it and left it at that. We had plans for this weekend and she texted me today with another excuse. So I finally just buttoned down and brought it up again about where we were going. She said that she doesnt want a relationship and that hanging out just feels like work and that she just needs time to herself right now. What doesnt make sense is if thats what she really wants then why go to all the trouble of having me meet her family and get all excited about me being friends with her 5 year old nephew shes really close to. Why go through all the holiday stuff only to immediately turn around not want it to go any further? Is she just afraid to commit to something more than friends? Do I even bother to try and do anything other than walk away? I really like her and I cant think of a single thing I dont like. But at this point I cant even make sense of it let alone what to do about it. Feels good to just get it out so sorry for the long read :/ Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Oh, I'm so sorry. It sounds like it just fizzled out for her. I think she went into it giving it her best shot but she just lost interest. She may have trouble with getting close or something, since she made that comment about how it just felt like work. I wouldn't take this as anything your own fault. I just think she's having trouble connecting for her own personal reasons that probably only some hard work or meeting just the right person could change. Just let it go. You did things right, including asking her to talk about what was going on and getting it out in the open. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Well my friend, don't sweat it. Some women never realize what they had, until they see someone else enjoying the things they gave up. When she said that little bit about it seeming like work, I would've said "Well then I guess I'm due for some vacation days. Thanks!". Then you walk off like the champ you are. Quit this woman cold turkey and in a few months when she feels lonely again, she'll contact you. Remind her you're still using your vacation days and hang up. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 She was 'trying it on' I guess. She likes you as a person and enjoys your company, but found out through trial and error that she's not interested in a romantic relationship wiht you. It's a shame she wasn't more honest with herself and you so that it came out earlier, and by her own initiative, instead of you feeling strung along and then having to push for clarity. I'm sorry about that. The lesson for future reference is that if people are into you, they want to be physically close to you. Abusive father or not, baggage and issues and fears, or not....a woman who is interested in you romantically, will want to be close to you and affectionate somehow. The same way you no doubt wanted to be close to her because you liked her. So in future, you can be considerate and give someone time to go at her own pace on that, but if it goes on too long - many weeks with little or no physical contact - you should probably astart to think she's just not that into you - no matter what she says. Actions don't lie. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sgtmoody Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 makes sense just seemed like it was going really well then one week she just wasnt into it or she has some personal stuff going on. She never liked talking about it anyways. Oh well there are other fish in the pond... Thanks for the replys time to go take those vacation days! Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 She's a flaky girl, not a Woman. That's why. Also, too many home dates too soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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