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Sort Of Dating Survey


Leigh 87

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I am just wondering,

 

Please answer these questions:

 

------- DO NOT try to give me unsolicited advice as to how I should conduct my dating life

 

Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

For me, sometimes I meet a guy, and the attraction chemistry and conversation is compelling enough to just make me "excited" about them; I get happy when they text and I am super excited about our second date.

Then there are really nice guys who I find attractive enough to kiss but who I don't get excited over. I don't care much when they text, and I am not that excited about seeing them again. The passion isn't there to begin with.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

One guy I spoke with said "I wasn't infatuated with my wife when we first met (the way I was with my other girlfriends) and although I was attracted to her and we have great sex, no, we do NOT have the same sizzle in the bedroom as I have had with prior women who I felt instantly excited about and who I was infatuated with"

 

Then there was my friend met her boyfriend and they had fireworks. They still have sex like crazy, the best sex of their lives, years later and their honeymoon period does not seem like it is going to end; they were BOTH infatuated and in deep lust, and also happen to be compatible.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

.......................................................

 

I am trying to see if you can ignite that raw passion that is primal and two people feel naturally and instantly - or if it is never as intense with those that you never had it with to begin with? Can it grow to that extent or is it never the same?

 

Please directly answer my questions and don't turn this about my dating life.

 

Cheers.

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I am just wondering,

 

Please answer these questions:

 

------- DO NOT try to give me unsolicited advice as to how I should conduct my dating life

 

Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

For me, sometimes I meet a guy, and the attraction chemistry and conversation is compelling enough to just make me "excited" about them; I get happy when they text and I am super excited about our second date.

Then there are really nice guys who I find attractive enough to kiss but who I don't get excited over. I don't care much when they text, and I am not that excited about seeing them again. The passion isn't there to begin with.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

One guy I spoke with said "I wasn't infatuated with my wife when we first met (the way I was with my other girlfriends) and although I was attracted to her and we have great sex, no, we do NOT have the same sizzle in the bedroom as I have had with prior women who I felt instantly excited about and who I was infatuated with"

 

Then there was my friend met her boyfriend and they had fireworks. They still have sex like crazy, the best sex of their lives, years later and their honeymoon period does not seem like it is going to end; they were BOTH infatuated and in deep lust, and also happen to be compatible.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

.......................................................

 

I am trying to see if you can ignite that raw passion that is primal and two people feel naturally and instantly - or if it is never as intense with those that you never had it with to begin with? Can it grow to that extent or is it never the same?

 

Please directly answer my questions and don't turn this about my dating life.

 

Cheers.

 

I try not to get Infatuated so early on. At least I don't show it! Always seems to fizzle out quickly.

 

I also try and wait at least a month to have sex just to get to know the person on a deeper level first.

 

One guy I met told me he loved me within two weeks and texted me non stop and it actually bothered me and I thought he was a bit nutty to think he could be love in such a short amount of time. Out of no where he stopped talking to me and had a new girlfriend. These guys who act obsessive so early on are the ones I am a bit wary of.

 

Sorry I didn't answer your questions in order, they were all similar.

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Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

Yes. Got to know a chap over a few months and he was amazing. Longest relationship was with a man I wasn't all that attracted to at first.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

One guy I spoke with said "I wasn't infatuated with my wife when we first met (the way I was with my other girlfriends) and although I was attracted to her and we have great sex, no, we do NOT have the same sizzle in the bedroom as I have had with prior women who I felt instantly excited about and who I was infatuated with"

 

Nope. Some times that sizzle really doesn't mean much and some of the worst sex has been with men who had sizzle but not snizzle to back it up... One in fact was so dull I started reading a book and he didn't notice... I kid you not. That "sizzle" does not mean good sex will follow.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Best sex ever was with man I mentioned in 1... no initial attraction, he was just a "nice guy I saw around". Only went out with him at first as it seemed like a fun thing to do and would be a nice evening. In the bedroom (and out of it for that matter) he was amazing. Got so I would get wet just looking at him because I knew that what was under the hood was way better than first appearances! No one else has compared to him in that department since. Only one has come close...

 

.

 

See above.

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Just to clarify

 

"the worst sex has been with men who had sizzle but not snizzle to back it up."

 

This does not refer to penis size but the ability to use what they have to greatest effect.

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I am just wondering,

 

Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

Yes, and those have been my best relationships so far. Out of my last 4 relationships, 3 were a slow burn at the beginning. The 1 with the "fireworks" (You should be banned from saying this word by now), was the one were I got hurt the most, was damaged psychologically the most, but was she was also on a undiagnosed BPD level, and you don't know REAL fireworks until you encounter one of those harpies.

 

Question 2 is not even a question. It's do you know people who eat dinner or people who eat lunch at 6:00 PM.

 

YES.

 

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

Yes. The best sex I've ever had with someone is with a friend of mine who I knew for over a year. I didn't like her. Eventually we went out and stuff progressed, and we had good sex. I wasn't too into it at first, but eventually we both decided we really wanted to try to explore the relationship, once feelings progressed, it was absolutely amazing. Pornstars would probably be asking us for tips if they saw us. Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

Depends what you call when they first met? Are you talking the first date only? if so than Yes, plenty of time. I know myself and often my interest for a man will intensify after 2-3 dates. I also know, for myself, if that interest has not grown within those 3 first dates then it will never.

 

If your question means if I ever dated 2-3 months a man I felt no chemistry for the answer is no, I would not be able to do that.

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Your question confuses me when you say someone I am not that into initially? that intent at the moment I am having sex with him I am into him.

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

 

Firework people = raw passion and chemistry

 

I can have mind blowing sex with a man I am not really into, but that's not passion, that's a good performance.

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LoveRefreshed

 

Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

Not so much butterflys, but passion. As I get to know the person more, and I start to develop feelings for her, the sex gets better and better. The passion certainly grows as passion is the expression and physical manifestation of your emotions towards another. The "instant passion" is shallow of emotion and thus, the passion is generic.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

One guy I spoke with said "I wasn't infatuated with my wife when we first met (the way I was with my other girlfriends) and although I was attracted to her and we have great sex, no, we do NOT have the same sizzle in the bedroom as I have had with prior women who I felt instantly excited about and who I was infatuated with"

 

Most of my sexual experiences have been one night stands, and it has never matched up with someone I was in love with. The best sex was my longest relationship and coincidentally, we did have instant chemistry. We also fought a lot and she is my ex.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

.......................................................

 

have had absolutely great, explosive sex with someone I was not initially in to. Like I said earlier, if my feelings for someone grows, and it does, the passion also grows. Growing close with someone as a friend, and then one day you look at them and you see their beauty, and you just want to **** them right there on the spot.

 

Cheers.

 

Check bolded stuff for answers.

 

You seem really into this "instant chemsitry" ****. I assume you are being chased by someone and you didn't have this amazing chemistry and now you find you have an emotional connection with him.. maybe this is just me reading in between the lines a little.

 

You focus too much on lust. You remind me of a friend who is constantly heart broke because the guys she goes after do not love her. Don't confuse lust with love. Love grows, it isn't instantaneous.

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My experiences are similar to everyone else's ...

 

 

The most "explosive" sex I ever had was with my former FWB, who I also shared "instant" chemistry with as well. By that I mean, we were making out within two hours of meeting and would've had sex on night one, had is friends not been over at his place. Oh, I forgot to mention he was a coke head, was addicted to anti-anxiety meds, and sold drugs out of his apt. Great catch.

 

My current boyfriend, who I love and admire very much, who is thoughtful and takes care of me and is very sexy and good in bed, did not come with instant chemistry. I waffled a lot with him in the beginning, thought he was a bit boring, a bit quiet. However, as we get to know each other, and grow together (we're at about five months at this point), our connection is deepening and the sex is getting better.

 

I long ago gave up to notion that "fireworks" and "instant chemistry" are benchmarks of a compatible, healthy, sustainable relationship. I'd rather forgo that and have a lasting, deep, loving connection with someone. Of course, I suppose they could co-exist, but for me I don't feel as if one is as high a priority as the other. Yes, it'd be great if I could meld exhibit A with exhibit B, but it might not happen.

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Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

Yes. Absolutely. Time and again. Intensely.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

No. My best sex there was no an immediate spark. We were highly compatible.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Yes, a million times yes.

 

 

This stuff is ridiculous to focus on when trying to form healthy sustainable relationships.

Edited by Erised
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yes, with my ex-husband. We've been together 20 years and sex was the best part of it.

 

And now with my boyfriend it started the same.

 

I never get too excited/infatuated with men before I know them, so yeah, I typically need a couple of months to warm up to them in a romantic way.

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Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

.......................................................

 

I am trying to see if you can ignite that raw passion that is primal and two people feel naturally and instantly - or if it is never as intense with those that you never had it with to begin with? Can it grow to that extent or is it never the same?

 

 

I need some level of comfort to go to bed with someone. I don't feel the need to rip off a man's clothes on a first date even if I really like him because he's still a stranger. A likeable stranger maybe, but a stranger.

 

So answering your question - yes I have had passionate sex and desire to sleep with with guys who I didn't instantly want to drag into bed after (or during :) ) first date. Because I hardly feel like this with anyone. I need time to warm up and get to know each other better and it has nothing to do with not liking them.

 

But I think I recognise if there is not even a potential of going into bed.

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My experiences are similar to everyone else's ...

 

 

The most "explosive" sex I ever had was with my former FWB, who I also shared "instant" chemistry with as well. By that I mean, we were making out within two hours of meeting and would've had sex on night one, had is friends not been over at his place. Oh, I forgot to mention he was a coke head, was addicted to anti-anxiety meds, and sold drugs out of his apt. Great catch.

 

My current boyfriend, who I love and admire very much, who is thoughtful and takes care of me and is very sexy and good in bed, did not come with instant chemistry. I waffled a lot with him in the beginning, thought he was a bit boring, a bit quiet. However, as we get to know each other, and grow together (we're at about five months at this point), our connection is deepening and the sex is getting better.

 

I long ago gave up to notion that "fireworks" and "instant chemistry" are benchmarks of a compatible, healthy, sustainable relationship. I'd rather forgo that and have a lasting, deep, loving connection with someone. Of course, I suppose they could co-exist, but for me I don't feel as if one is as high a priority as the other. Yes, it'd be great if I could meld exhibit A with exhibit B, but it might not happen.

 

 

I believe it's realistic for a woman like me to hold out for that explosive sex you got from your former fwb and with a man who is also compatible.

 

I get enough male interest in real life for me to go after what I want. Explosive sex and intense chemistry with an ideal partner.

 

And I already know that intense chemistry doesn't have any bearing on how successful a relationship is.

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Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

Yes. Absolutely. Time and again. Intensely.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

No. My best sex there was no an immediate spark. We were highly compatible.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that

 

 

 

Yes, a million times yes.

 

 

This stuff is ridiculous to focus on when trying to form healthy sustainable relationships.

 

 

It's not ridiculous to choose to seek a healthy and sustainable relationship that happens to start out with intense chemistry.

 

People have their preferences. Wanting the instant spark and it factor doesn't take away from my long term objective of getting married and having a long relationship.

 

People like me are entitled to not date the men who wwe don't feel great chemistry with. We aren't ridiculous for discarding such men.

 

I have enough dating options for me to not to have to bother dating men who I'm not eexcited about due to lack of chemistry.

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I believe it's realistic for a woman like me to hold out for that explosive sex you got from your former fwb and with a man who is also compatible.

 

I get enough male interest in real life for me to go after what I want. Explosive sex and intense chemistry with an ideal partner.

 

And I already know that intense chemistry doesn't have any bearing on how successful a relationship is.

 

OK. You were just asking for opinions, I gave you mine. I wasn't suggesting that you have to think/feel the same way.

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OK. You were just asking for opinions, I gave you mine. I wasn't suggesting that you have to think/feel the same way.

 

 

ditto.

 

.. .

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I

 

Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

For me, sometimes I meet a guy, and the attraction chemistry and conversation is compelling enough to just make me "excited" about them; I get happy when they text and I am super excited about our second date.

Then there are really nice guys who I find attractive enough to kiss but who I don't get excited over. I don't care much when they text, and I am not that excited about seeing them again. The passion isn't there to begin with.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

One guy I spoke with said "I wasn't infatuated with my wife when we first met (the way I was with my other girlfriends) and although I was attracted to her and we have great sex, no, we do NOT have the same sizzle in the bedroom as I have had with prior women who I felt instantly excited about and who I was infatuated with"

 

Then there was my friend met her boyfriend and they had fireworks. They still have sex like crazy, the best sex of their lives, years later and their honeymoon perio

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

Or has the passion and chemistry and want to rip your clothes of factor NEVER been as raw and as intense as it was with the fireworks people?

.......................................................

 

I am trying to see if you can ignite that raw passion that is primal and two people feel naturally and instantly - or if it is never as intense with those that you never had it with to begin with? Can it grow to that extent or is it never the same?

 

Please directly answer my questions and don't turn this about my dating life.

 

Cheers.

 

For question 1, my answer is Yes, Always! I have never felt instant passion. But I have grown to get those butterflies over time.

 

I don't really have an answer for 2, so I will skip to 3 and 4 with a simple answer to say I have never had explosive raw passionate sex. I would like to though. Can't say whether I imagine the person would be an instant passion or slow burn butterflies kind.

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OK. You were just asking for opinions, I gave you mine. I wasn't suggesting that you have to think/feel the same way.

 

Cool.

 

Thanks for not being dogmatic.

 

I hate when people try to impose their views on me.

 

I respect your opinion and the fact it has worked well for you and I like how you're not telling me what I should be doing.

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For question 1, my answer is Yes, Always! I have never felt instant passion. But I have grown to get those butterflies over time.

 

I don't really have an answer for 2, so I will skip to 3 and 4 with a simple answer to say I have never had explosive raw passionate sex. I would like to though. Can't say whether I imagine the person would be an instant passion or slow burn butterflies kind.

 

Wow. You have never had explosive sex?

 

I have. I only had it with the men that I felt that spark with though.

 

Slow burn sex was never explosive. But it was still great.

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venusishername

:lmao:

 

Same as preraph!!

1. No

2. No

3. No

4. No

 

If it's not there to begin with for me, it ain't ever going to be. Granted, I consider myself more highly sexual than most women, maybe even some men :/

Sometimes it starts out great and dwindles.

Best sex of my life has been with short lived flings that burned out fast.

My ex and I of four years had a highly sexual and incredibly hot and passionate sex life, but he's a nut job.

I have never experienced this concept of 'slow burn' and not having instant passion/lust with the men I have slept with!

 

 

I can think of ONE experience that I didn't feel hot passion for a guy and gave it a chance and it still wasn't there. It never grew. So, my answer to #1 is still NO.

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chimpanA-2-chimpanZ
Question 1:

 

Has anyone here given someone a chance that, when they first met, didn't feel any fireworks of instant chemistry, but later on they grew to feel the butterflies and passion?

 

No. Not really, anyway. When I first met my current boyfriend, I felt something. It's hard to describe; I told myself I didn't find him attractive as he wasn't my type, but for some reason my hands were shaking. Maybe it was just the surprise? Anyhow, I got over it. We became good friends and were close for nearly two years before we began dating. So...maybe?

 

But our first kiss? Oh boy. THAT was explosive.

 

Question 2: here's an example of what one dating expert said to me, do any of you guys relate?

 

One guy I spoke with said "I wasn't infatuated with my wife when we first met (the way I was with my other girlfriends) and although I was attracted to her and we have great sex, no, we do NOT have the same sizzle in the bedroom as I have had with prior women who I felt instantly excited about and who I was infatuated with"

 

Then there was my friend met her boyfriend and they had fireworks. They still have sex like crazy, the best sex of their lives, years later and their honeymoon period does not seem like it is going to end; they were BOTH infatuated and in deep lust, and also happen to be compatible.

 

These are two different people. Where's the dating expert? Did he give you any advice? I don't understand. Oh well.

 

Question 3 and 4

 

Has anyone had explosive sex and found raw passion with partners who you were NOT that into initially?

 

See my current boyfriend, above. We have the most earth-shattering (or just ear-shattering...sorry, neighbors) sex imaginable. I didn't find him attractive when we first met, at least I don't think I did, but I definitely felt something. But as soon as we became romantically involved it was like a light switch.

 

I am trying to see if you can ignite that raw passion that is primal and two people feel naturally and instantly - or if it is never as intense with those that you never had it with to begin with? Can it grow to that extent or is it never the same?

 

There's more to that exciting, butterfly-feeling je ne sais quoi than just raw sexual passion. For a long time I dated a guy I found extremely attractive on first sight. He was easily the most handsome man I've ever dated. We had a lot of great (albeit not amazing), passionate sex, and we got along well, but I could never shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. It eventually dawned on me while I was daydreaming: if we got married, I wouldn't cry at my wedding. My own wedding! It hit me like a thunderbolt. Great sex aside, I was completely unenthused about the idea of marrying this guy. I knew I had to dump him.

 

I agree that you can't create chemistry. You can regain a spark when it's been lost, but you can't create it. But there is so, so much more to chemistry than pure sexual attraction, which is what you seem to focus on to the exclusion of all else. Chemistry is a combination of factors. It's finding him sexy, intriguing, smart, funny, unusual, attentive, completely into you, and realizing you'd get excited just waiting next to him in line at the bank...

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Wow. You have never had explosive sex?

 

I have. I only had it with the men that I felt that spark with though.

 

Slow burn sex was never explosive. But it was still great.

 

Nope.

 

I have a high sex drive but have yet to be with a man whose drive is similar.

 

My exes had hangups with sex and sometimes even having sex at all was a struggle.

 

I have no doubt that if I found a man with a high sex drive and a desire for giving pleasure, that the sex would feel amazing, but these men are hiding from me! :laugh:

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That is my experience, Venusishername!

 

It is either there from the start, or I never have explosive sex!

 

There has to be something about them - and they have to find "something about me". Just something about me. I don't have to be the hottest lady they have had - and I am sure I am not - but yeah, the instant spark we shared absolutely lead to explosive sex that far surpassed the slow burner guy I dated for 2.5 years - who have felt passion for me yet we did have great sex; just not passionate or explosive.

 

I also don't look for hot men - I go for the "feeling" they first give me on the first date.

 

If I love making out with them on date one - and if I am excited about their texts and cannot wait to see what develops (or not) - then yeah, I give them a second date. Anything short of getting excited about them and I am out. They are welcome to be my friend.

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Nope.

 

I have a high sex drive but have yet to be with a man whose drive is similar.

 

My exes had hangups with sex and sometimes even having sex at all was a struggle.

 

I have no doubt that if I found a man with a high sex drive and a desire for giving pleasure, that the sex would feel amazing, but these men are hiding from me! :laugh:

 

Stop it, or I might have to buy you a ticket to Nuts Island.

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