dsprimal Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Hey everyone, So after viewing my last thread you probably get an understanding of where i'm at. But now my question is, how often would you be with seeing your significant other? Daily? Weekly? (weekends) Monthly? I see this girl probably once or twice a month since she lives an hour away. But I would like to see her weekly. Not seeing her weekly really annoys me and i'm debating on letting her know that I would like to see her weekly or at least every other week and if that doesn't happen then i'm dissatisfied. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 For me, 3-4 times a week Link to post Share on other sites
InsaneTrombone Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 At least twice a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acapelo_dp Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Three times a week is perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Depends how old is the relationship. I started with once a week for the first 2 months, then upped it to twice a week for another month or so, then three times, and now it's up to 5 times a week but no less than 4 times. (after 7 months). I dated someone who was seeing me twice a month and I dumped him for it. That's not a relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissTrudy Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 we usually spend the entire weekend together and then see each other one time during the week. I agree with BlueEyeL, unless there are extenuating circumstances, i'd dump someone who I only saw once or twice a month. An hour distance is doable for more frequent meetings unless public transit in your area sucks and you don't have cars. My friends were in a 2 hr LDR for about a year and they only got to see each other n weekends because of their work schedule, but they made sure to see each other every weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Depends how old is the relationship. I started with once a week for the first 2 months, then upped it to twice a week for another month or so, then three times, and now it's up to 5 times a week but no less than 4 times. (after 7 months). I dated someone who was seeing me twice a month and I dumped him for it. That's not a relationship. I'm currently in the position you were in. I think I might cut it off totally cause we always build up this chemistry then it fizzles off with the time away from each other until we meet again like a month later. SUPER FRUSTRATING. Every time I cut it off she always comes back. But i'm going to bring it up to her and see what she says. If she isn't down to meet more often then i'll have to permanently leave her. I would love to see her daily if it was possible. or like 4 times a week like others have said would be ideal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 we usually spend the entire weekend together and then see each other one time during the week. I agree with BlueEyeL, unless there are extenuating circumstances, i'd dump someone who I only saw once or twice a month. An hour distance is doable for more frequent meetings unless public transit in your area sucks and you don't have cars. My friends were in a 2 hr LDR for about a year and they only got to see each other n weekends because of their work schedule, but they made sure to see each other every weekend. agreed. she thinks its INSANE to commute an hour. We have a train that either of us can take too. idk. i've told her she sucks majorly for the lack of commitment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulinside2 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 My bf of 5 months and I live an hour away from each other and we see each other 5 or more days per week. I know people who live an hour away from their job so we see it no different. Besides I will have no problem moving in with him and commuting an hour to/from work when or if that time comes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Once a week is enough...maybe, maybe twice Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Right now I see my lady once a week about. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less due to our schedules. Id like twice a week though, but Im fine with where things are. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 1-3 times a week but depends how far along we are.. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I feel once a week as a definite and maybe twice depending.....is enough to start with...deb Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) 2-4 times a week would be nice. But nothing set in stone people are busy in life and u need to be flexible I was always pissed at my ex we didnt meet enough. I saw 1-2 times a week She says ahe didnt have time. Then she met this douche shrimpy and has time to see him 4-6 times a week He lived next to her and i lived about 1.5 hours away. I said i would come but she found excuses If i do 1.5 hours by train whats the issue with one hour. Its peanuts and u get used to it really fast. Her commitment sucks ass for sure. If she doesnt do her small share then boot and find move on. Screw her. I may be of the few who on this site who believe in fighting for a relationship but if your partner doesnt give a rats ass to put their part in (or even show they try) then toss them. Fkem Edited January 27, 2015 by rocketman122 Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 2-3 time a week Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 we usually spend the entire weekend together and then see each other one time during the week. I agree with BlueEyeL, unless there are extenuating circumstances, i'd dump someone who I only saw once or twice a month. An hour distance is doable for more frequent meetings unless public transit in your area sucks and you don't have cars. My friends were in a 2 hr LDR for about a year and they only got to see each other n weekends because of their work schedule, but they made sure to see each other every weekend. Even with extenuating circumstances, this is not OK. If the person doesn't have time for building a real relationship, then they're not in a position to date and are a waste of time. I will be sympathetic to their predicament and not think ill of them, but it doesn't mean they are offering me what I want. Therefore, a relationship with them is not for me. When I was in this situation I first told him what I wanted. He promised he'll do better but all he did was call more often. Next time when he told me that he'd meet but "I" (i.e. not him) am busy, I dumped him. I got so angry that he'd tell ME that I am busy. I told him, no, I can make time. And he persisting in telling me in which ways I was busy LOL I told him he's a great person and I wish him the best but he doesn't seem to be in a position to have a relationship right now, and I'm looking for one, so unfortunately I'll have to go find it for myself. Which I did. That dude lived 45 minutes from me. My current bf lives 40 minutes away. Not only he has no problem seeing me enough, but he drives 40 minutes to me, picks me up, when we have dates at his place, he drives me back to his place, and then back home. A relationship needs to be paced. So not jumping into 4-5 times/week from the beginning. In the beginning, once or twice a week is enough. As the relationship deepens, the time spent together increases also. OP, yes, I think you should tell her what you want and if she's not giving to you, sorry to say, she's just not that into you and you are better off going out to find someone else rather than waste months on someone wish-washy. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) I dont think the person is not into you i think they feel confortable having you around for a little entertainment. U fill little holes thats missing in their lives. They want a little fun and sex. But they usually have a busy live with friends work hobbies/activities family and where they have some free time they want someone to show them a good time out of the house and a little fun in bed. But their mindset is you stay there and i here and once in a while well get together for fun. And obviously they dont want u to date others at the same time they will trickle time with you Edited January 27, 2015 by rocketman122 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Even with extenuating circumstances, this is not OK. If the person doesn't have time for building a real relationship, then they're not in a position to date and are a waste of time. I will be sympathetic to their predicament and not think ill of them, but it doesn't mean they are offering me what I want. Therefore, a relationship with them is not for me. When I was in this situation I first told him what I wanted. He promised he'll do better but all he did was call more often. Next time when he told me that he'd meet but "I" (i.e. not him) am busy, I dumped him. I got so angry that he'd tell ME that I am busy. I told him, no, I can make time. And he persisting in telling me in which ways I was busy LOL I told him he's a great person and I wish him the best but he doesn't seem to be in a position to have a relationship right now, and I'm looking for one, so unfortunately I'll have to go find it for myself. Which I did. That dude lived 45 minutes from me. My current bf lives 40 minutes away. Not only he has no problem seeing me enough, but he drives 40 minutes to me, picks me up, when we have dates at his place, he drives me back to his place, and then back home. A relationship needs to be paced. So not jumping into 4-5 times/week from the beginning. In the beginning, once or twice a week is enough. As the relationship deepens, the time spent together increases also. OP, yes, I think you should tell her what you want and if she's not giving to you, sorry to say, she's just not that into you and you are better off going out to find someone else rather than waste months on someone wish-washy. Agreed, she labelled me her "man" indirectly in one of our conversations but I didn't entertain the thought cause I figured it's already known what we are....but next time she brings the thought up again i'm going to ask her what she really thinks of us. I dont think the person is not into you i think they feel confortable having you around for a little entertainment. U fill little holes thats missing in their lives. They want a little fun and sex. But they usually have a busy live with friends work hobbies/activities family and where they have some free time they want someone to show them a good time out of the house and a little fun in bed. But their mindset is you stay there and i here and once in a while well get together for fun. And obviously they dont want u to date others at the same time they will trickle time with you exactly. she's too busy with her own life that she cant fit a formal relationship. but whenever I leave she always comes back...always. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfire73 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I see my bf about 5 times a week. I sleep over 3x (Wed, Fri and Sat) a week and spend the morning after except Wednesdays when we both have to work. I think this is about right for a 1+ yr relationship. We both have houses and kids and want our personal time as well. But we make time to see each other. Sometimes we go out for lunch during the work week too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
markleymassraff Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 My ideal relationship would look like this in terms of how often to see each other. Spend Friday and Saturday night together. Sunday return to my responsibilities and taking care of my own stuff. See him on Tuesday night and Thursday night. All can be sleepovers, too. I guess I like a lot of together-time, but not necessarily every day. My current situation sucks, but it could be worse. I am seeing someone who lives 2.5 hours away. It just got started, but two weekends in January I went to see him, spent 2 nights. We skipped this past weekend, and he is supposed to visit this coming weekend. The bare minimum for me is seeing the person once a week. I intend to make that happen in my current thing, even if it is 2.5 hours away. (It's more like 2 hours and 15 minutes...not too bad.) Link to post Share on other sites
Erised Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 If we're close by and in an exclusive relationship, weekly. Maybe occasionally more, but not all the time. If it's longer distance, I'd expect less and be pretty okay with it. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Am I wrong for feeling this way? No, although I have a caveat to that answer. You said this too: I would love to see her daily if it was possible....she thinks its INSANE to commute an hour It sounds like she holds the power of least interest over you, and is wielding it mightily. Your interest level is comparatively off the charts compared to hers. That rarely ends well. If it were me, I'd put an end to it before I got hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 agreed. she thinks its INSANE to commute an hour. We have a train that either of us can take too. idk. i've told her she sucks majorly for the lack of commitment. What?!?! It takes me about an hour to get to my FWBs house. 2 buses. We live basically in the same part of town!! I mean... if it was an hour's drive... maybe... but an hour on public transport? I have friends that commute for 2h for work! As for my preference, I definitely like to meet almost daily. once a week for a proper relationship would not really work for me. Link to post Share on other sites
cheshire_cat Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Hey everyone, So after viewing my last thread you probably get an understanding of where i'm at. But now my question is, how often would you be with seeing your significant other? Daily? Weekly? (weekends) Monthly? I see this girl probably once or twice a month since she lives an hour away. But I would like to see her weekly. Not seeing her weekly really annoys me and i'm debating on letting her know that I would like to see her weekly or at least every other week and if that doesn't happen then i'm dissatisfied. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Thanks To reply to your OP directly, I like to see my SO as often as possible. Our circumstances are different (we live a block from each other) so for us to go longer than a day without seeing each other is definitely not the norm. We've been dating over a year and are looking for a house to rent so we can cohabitate. Reading your previous thread you have been seeing this girl "on and off" for a year and still on see her only once or twice a month? That to me is not enough contact to create any type of lasting basis for a relationship if one isn't already established. Granted, I am sure there are people who will disagree with me on this subject, saying they have created long term relationships with people that they have only ever seen once or twice a month but unless that foundation is there I personally don't feel I could create a lasting relationship. To me once or twice a month would only work if you have an established foundation in place. You can't create that foundation without more contact. There is so much you learn about the person within the first year of dating (especially in person). And I am one of those people that need that interaction with my SO to create a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 once a week for dinner and sex Link to post Share on other sites
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