Hesjustnotthatin2u Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) I've been dating a guy for three months now. We've done everything the right way, one step at a time, all the steps your supposed to take while dating. I've met his family, he's met mine. I met his friends, he's met mine. We spent Christmas together. We spend NYE together. He gets me little gifts just because. He talks to me every day and always lets me know he's thinking of me/misses me/can't wait to see me. He sent me flowers when I found out my grandpop had cancer. He's there, and has made it clear he's not going anywhere. After the first month or so, it felt so natural, I knew we were 'a thing'. Everything is close to perfect. I like him a lot and I don't want to put my eggs in one basket, but he's someone I want around for a very long time. Sometimes I feel like I could even say the L word. There's just one problem.. he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet. Now, we're both 25 years old. We live normal lives. I have two jobs that keep me busy. He's in grad school an hour away, coaches his college baseball, has a job on top of that, and maintains a social life. But he still makes an effort to see me at least once or twice a week. This is the first time as an adult that I've been dating someone this serious and I don't know how this is supposed to go. Is he supposed to ask me to be his girlfriend? Or is it just assumed? I thought after a while, we had to be official. We did everything a couple would do. It was assumed for me. But then I noticed when he introduced me to a few of his friends, he just said, 'this is Kate.' Not, 'this is my girlfriend, Kate.' He's even made references of conversations he's had about me to me saying, 'yeah I told so and so that this girl I was dating....'. He is an all or nothing guy. He puts effort into everything he does in life. I know that if I was his girlfriend, he would put it out there. Facebook and all. But he hasn't done any of that. Since it's been 3 months, I'm beginning to feel a little anxious. Almost a little dumb. What are we? I want to ask him, but I'm afraid he will feel pressured and backed into a corner. And I don't want to make him feel that way, because I love how things are between us, I don't want any of it to change.. I just want to know what we are, where I stand. The only thing I can think of, is that he hasn't asked me because baseball season is starting and he's made it clear that he will be very busy with school and baseball this season and we won't get to see each other as much. So maybe he's afraid to make that commitment right now. Any insight you have would be great. My friends keep telling me to 'just ask him'. But I don't want to add that pressure to him. Maybe there is a way I can nonchalantly find out..? Edited January 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Just bloody ask him! If he feels pressured and backed into a corner then he wasn't going to end up being your boyfriend anyway, so the sooner you find out, the better. Next time you speak to him, ask him where he feels you two are going. And listen carefully to his answer. After three months it's absolutely fine to want to know where you stand with someone. You don't even know if he's still seeing other women yet or not. Most guys aren't nervous to ask someone to be their girlfriend. Most are keen because they don't want another guy snapping her up first. Maybe he's presuming you're in a relationship already, maybe he's just looking for something casual, but either way it'll chew you up until you ask him. Be strong, be confident, and talk to him about it. Any guy freaked out over that is NOT boyfriend material anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Agree with above.....a man that wants to be your boyfriend will absolutely not feel backed into a corner. Open the lines of communication - don't be afraid, it's the foundation for any good relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toffeecream77 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Sounds like you're in a relationship and are girlfriend/boyfriend anyway. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned 'girlfriend' when introducing you to people. How did he introduce you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hesjustnotthatin2u Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Sounds like you're in a relationship and are girlfriend/boyfriend anyway. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned 'girlfriend' when introducing you to people. How did he introduce you? That's what I thought too. But every time he introduces me, he says, 'This is Kate.' Link to post Share on other sites
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