dsprimal Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Hey everyone! So i've been seeing this girl on and off for the past year. Reason why it's on and off is because she lives an hour away so we don't see each other that often. But whenever we do it feels like were a couple because we both are very similar and enjoy each others company (we've already had sex for the record). We text each other daily and its never boring. I talk to her like I would to my guy friends and she loves it. So she genuinely likes me for me since I don't use a filter when I talk to her. She told me if we lived closer she can see us dating but she can't get over the hour distance and how we both are busy trying to get our own personal lives on track (school, job, self independence etc). So for that reason we've still been talking and just been really good friends. But the last time we hungout at her place, we got to cuddling and one thing led to another (didn't get to sex) but it was passionate and the "sweet talking" we did was super sexy. I felt like we both reached a deeper level of feelings for each other. I just felt it (sorry to sound cheesy). Recently she came around to calling me her man in a text we had but I didn't further it by asking her "so i'm officially your man now?" because I figured its already been known what we feel for each other so I didn't think I needed to hit on the topic directly. Here is the issue. She is just like me like I said earlier. We joke saying we're "twins" cause we think alike. But recently i've been falling off my "game" and been contemplating filtering all my feeling for her because of that night we had. But I believe she maybe still content with where were at now. I have too much pride to express myself and seem like the "beta" in the relationship while she'll officially be the "alpha" and vice versa. Once she knows how flooded my mind is with thoughts of her recently. She'll know 100% that she has me all for herself and I just hope she doesn't dispose of me after, once she knows she "won me over" finally. I have stood strong throughout the whole thing, expressing very little emotion but keeping her on her toes. Idk what to do. if this sounds complicated feel free to ask. please help! thanks Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Just man up and tell her how you feel before you don't and she ends up finding someone else and then you will truly regret it 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 we've also been dating others while still talking to each other. We even talk about our dating issues sometimes (weird? idk). But I used to be content with her doing her own thing and her letting me do my own thing. But now I want her all for myself and she recently told me how guys at the gym she works at that never spoke to her before are now approaching her. asking her out and how she tells them NO. trying to get me jealous or something idk? but I want her for myself now and idk if she brought these topics up to get a reaction out of me.....in which she did not. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 we've also been dating others while still talking to each other. We even talk about our dating issues sometimes (weird? idk). But I used to be content with her doing her own thing and her letting me do my own thing. But now I want her all for myself and she recently told me how guys at the gym she works at that never spoke to her before are now approaching her. asking her out and how she tells them NO. trying to get me jealous or something idk? but I want her for myself now and idk if she brought these topics up to get a reaction out of me.....in which she did not. Then do something about it and snatch her up before someone else does, ask her out and be done with it already and tell her how you really feel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Hey everyone! I have too much pride to express myself and seem like the "beta" in the relationship while she'll officially be the "alpha" and vice versa. Once she knows how flooded my mind is with thoughts of her recently. She'll know 100% that she has me all for herself and I just hope she doesn't dispose of me after, once she knows she "won me over" finally. I have stood strong throughout the whole thing, expressing very little emotion but keeping her on her toes. Idk what to do. if this sounds complicated feel free to ask. please help! thanks If you want to be more than half a man, stop suppressing your feelings. Tip: Be exactly the same person on the outside, as you are on the inside. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 If you want to be more than half a man, stop suppressing your feelings. Tip: Be exactly the same person on the outside, as you are on the inside. Exactly be a man and suck up your pride, what is more important to you man? Your own ego, your own pride or this girl who you seem to care a lot about? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lovexocoach Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 You don't have to pour your heart out to her at this stage. And doing so - when you're ready - doesn't make you weak or a "beta." Be careful you don't let your pride get in the way of having a great relationship with her or someone else. Sounds like it's time to be the alpha and take steps to woo her before some other dude wins her heart. Once you start romancing her you'll know where you stand with her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 You don't have to pour your heart out to her at this stage. And doing so - when you're ready - doesn't make you weak or a "beta." Be careful you don't let your pride get in the way of having a great relationship with her or someone else. Sounds like it's time to be the alpha and take steps to woo her before some other dude wins her heart. Once you start romancing her you'll know where you stand with her. Agreed, you gotta find a way to let her know you're into her w/o pouring out your heart to her, cuz yea, if not, she'll probably bounce. And, I guess that's why I keep my guys at a distance. I hate the vulnerability. At some point you have to relinquish it and sometimes I fear that if I become vulnerable, I will depend on them and for me it's hard to relinquish that to another person. I mean, I won't come out and say I am his "girl", but I just hope that he'll figure it out cuz I'm not seeing anyone else and treat him well...but I guess people need you to demonstrate/verbalize it for them to believe it's for real. So, yea, you gotta step up or she might bounce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 yeah i'll come around and let her know. I'll do it in person tho so it will be more personal and serious. I texted her last night "can I ask you something?" and I was going to ask her "are you content with where we're at?" to hit around the bush on if she still likes where we are or has she been feeling more also. But instead I ended up asking her a random question and avoided it. She asked "lol really was that your question?" Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I believe she's dropped hints...In her mind..."I'm being asked out a lot, and for now I'm telling them no! Get a grip, man up and ask me to be yours if you like me that way. I'm not gonna wait around forever. I've said you're my guy. Thus far you've left me hanging..." When you sent that text, she expected more which is why she asked if that's what you really wanted to know. The signs are there. Do you want her or not?? Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I believe she's dropped hints...In her mind..."I'm being asked out a lot, and for now I'm telling them no! Get a grip, man up and ask me to be yours if you like me that way. I'm not gonna wait around forever. I've said you're my guy. Thus far you've left me hanging..." When you sent that text, she expected more which is why she asked if that's what you really wanted to know. The signs are there. Do you want her or not?? Stop wasting valuable time man and man up for once in your life and do something before she gets stolen right out from under you by another guy Don't let something foolish like your own pride your own ego your own arrogance to get in the way because that is what is going to end up costing you everything as far as this girl goes This girl obviously likes you a lot but it is up to you to make the next move so stop being such a damn coward and do something about it and fast Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 I believe she's dropped hints...In her mind..."I'm being asked out a lot, and for now I'm telling them no! Get a grip, man up and ask me to be yours if you like me that way. I'm not gonna wait around forever. I've said you're my guy. Thus far you've left me hanging..." When you sent that text, she expected more which is why she asked if that's what you really wanted to know. The signs are there. Do you want her or not?? I do but I feel like its too good to be true. Every time I think things are for the better I end up being let down. But I know she likes me and vice versa but we haven't spoken on it verbally. I'm definitely going to bring it up again next time we hangout....hopefully she'll finally let her guard down like me and take a chance at it. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I do but I feel like its too good to be true. Every time I think things are for the better I end up being let down. But I know she likes me and vice versa but we haven't spoken on it verbally. I'm definitely going to bring it up again next time we hangout....hopefully she'll finally let her guard down like me and take a chance at it. Don't be a coward and make your move now, don't wait until the next time you hang out, take the initiative now and take charge because if you do this then she will see just how serious you really are about wanting her to be with you Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Don't be a coward and make your move now, don't wait until the next time you hang out, take the initiative now and take charge because if you do this then she will see just how serious you really are about wanting her to be with you I will, I just hope she doesn't bail on me like some others in previous years. Once a girl knows she has you "wrapped" then its over. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I will, I just hope she doesn't bail on me like some others in previous years. Once a girl knows she has you "wrapped" then its over. Believe me man I get it, trust me I do but at the same time you shouldn't let your own fears or your own insecurities get in the way of you being happy and you can be happy with this girl but all you have to do is stop being so damn scared and have courage and muster enough of that to take control and before you know it this girl will be yours all yours Link to post Share on other sites
Author dsprimal Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 For more clarification when she said "my man" she used it indirectly. We were fun talking and I told her I could protect us in the wild if we decided to live in a jungle or whatever. I said "I once wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands" and she said "I dont want my man wrestling a cute giraffe brian". So she said it indirectly, idk if that still counts as her stepping the boundary and trying to imply something more with us. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 For more clarification when she said "my man" she used it indirectly. We were fun talking and I told her I could protect us in the wild if we decided to live in a jungle or whatever. I said "I once wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands" and she said "I dont want my man wrestling a cute giraffe brian". So she said it indirectly, idk if that still counts as her stepping the boundary and trying to imply something more with us. If she wants you as her man then what does that tell you? It obviously tells you that she is not only interested in you but that she wants to be with you, it is more or less a formality now, all you have to do is make it official by asking her out but you choose to waste time and let your pride get in the way and that is what is going to end up doing you no good in the end Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I will, I just hope she doesn't bail on me like some others in previous years. Once a girl knows she has you "wrapped" then its over. That's cheap AND lame. Is that how you really feel about a girl you've been friends with for over a year? One that you've slept with? One that's dropping hints? You want to be the alpha, not the beta, but you are the one setting that stage. She's the one taking the initiative alpha role and so far it's being met with resistance because of your fear. If I dropped several hints and they weren't acted upon, I'd move on! (Well, actually I'd probably be very direct, but I'm an assertive person who confronts fear rather than tucking my tail and running, but a lot of females may not be that bold.) Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 That's cheap AND lame. Is that how you really feel about a girl you've been friends with for over a year? One that you've slept with? One that's dropping hints? You want to be the alpha, not the beta, but you are the one setting that stage. She's the one taking the initiative alpha role and so far it's being met with resistance because of your fear. If I dropped several hints and they weren't acted upon, I'd move on! (Well, actually I'd probably be very direct, but I'm an assertive person who confronts fear rather than tucking my tail and running, but a lot of females may not be that bold.) I know right but it is obvious that our man here is a coward because if he weren't then he would stop wasting valuable time here and he would be taking the initiative right now to do something about this and make this girl his but he doesn't because he is so damn scared and arrogant Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 How is you say what YOU WANT beta? In fact, it's the complete opposite. I guess if you view it as you are "waiting" for an answer from her that matches what you want that's the only way it becomes dependent. Otherwise, most alpha guys have no trouble just stating their needs! So do it. Good luck. She already likes you and when a guy just says what he wants like nothing is going stop him and he's taking a risk--it's attractive! Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 How is you say what YOU WANT beta? In fact, it's the complete opposite. I guess if you view it as you are "waiting" for an answer from her that matches what you want that's the only way it becomes dependent. Otherwise, most alpha guys have no trouble just stating their needs! So do it. Good luck. She already likes you and when a guy just says what he wants like nothing is going stop him and he's taking a risk--it's attractive! And that is his problem he has no confidence in himself because if he did then he would have taken the initiative a long time ago and he would have made this girl his by now so if he loses this girl to another guy he has no one to blame but himself because he let something so foolish like fear and pride get in the way of his own happiness Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 And that is his problem he has no confidence in himself because if he did then he would have taken the initiative a long time ago and he would have made this girl his by now so if he loses this girl to another guy he has no one to blame but himself because he let something so foolish like fear and pride get in the way of his own happiness There's no pride in benign fear...and fear isn't an attractive or sexy quality! Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 There's no pride in benign fear...and fear isn't an attractive or sexy quality! Yes fear is not attractive or sexy because women don't find it that way but rather women love men who take charge and aren't afraid of their own shadows they love men who take initiative and aren't afraid to take risks and so far the OP has proven that he is not that at all, he is not a take charge kind of guy he is weak Link to post Share on other sites
idoltree Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I always cringe when I see people wanting to verbally tell someone their feelings. It feels appropriate for high school and middle school, but once you reach adulthood "telling someone you are falling for them" is awkward. It is entirely too much pressure to lay that on someone and it usually ends up in the person backing off. Instead, let your actions SHOW HER that you are falling for her. This is much less pressure, and giving hints via your actions versus telling someone your feelings will allow them to not bolt in the other direction. Ask her out. Touch her. Get caught gazing into her eyes. Flirt. That's how you show her how you are feeling. Once you are in a relationship, you can use your words to describe how you feel. Before a commitment, it's just awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Either way this man he is going to end up losing this girl to another guy I mean he is only delaying the inevitable because another guy he could be pulling the moves on the girl right now and this man wouldn't even know it and why? Because he hasn't taken the initiative and another guy has Link to post Share on other sites
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