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I am in confusion. First time dating.


Rbl325

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Alright then. Let me start off by introducing myself. Im Rb. 22 yr old male from the netherlands. It might be worth mentioning that i am as of yet a virgin and have never been in a relationship. Its not something i particularly like to share, but i dont see it as that humiliating either.

 

Anyways. I am very confused as of late. And would really apreciate some help in understanding my predicament.

 

Let me start off by thanking you for reading trough my long rant!

 

So the situation is this. Ive met this awesome girl on the interwebz. I am starting to like her alot. And i have the general inkling that she likes me too, i mean why else would she have agreed to meet for a third time in 2 weeks now?

 

Anyway. There are some different things that combined fail to give me a picture of what she thinks of me, or what it is she looks for.

 

- The site we met on is for finding new friends but for romance as well. And neither of us really made it clear which of the two we are looking for. We're both single though.

 

- we have met 2 times now. And although we greet each other with a hug. Which she instigated on the first meeting. I have yet to initiate any other touching. Idk like holding hands while walking, brushing her arm etc. I cant seem to think about a way of doing this without making it feel cerebral or 'planned'. Am i too late with starting to show affection to her, and how can i recover from this situation?

 

- When we see each other we have interesting conversations about various things. She is very warm and friendly, and acts genuinely interested. But when chatting(online) she is always answering with short replies. Not to speak about how impossible it is to plan anything ahead:S

 

- Although we share common interests. There are also big differences. I am fairly introverted. Don't really have many friends and mostly avoid bars or clubs. She however lives a very active social life, living in a big city. Often going out. To be honest, i think i actually feel quite intimidated by this. Do you think this is a big problem?

 

- I haven't used the word date. And merely kept it casual by calling it meeting. Im afraid of messing up a potential friendship by scaring her off. But am desperately hoping for more. So far we've visited an art museum and went for a walk in the park on my suggestion. In your opinion do these activities give off a 'date' or a more casual vibe?

 

- when looking online for 'signs she likes me'. Im sure you google'd it too! I fail to identify with any of them. Sure she looks at me, but then again. Would be kinda weird if she wouldnt when meeting 1 on 1 right?

 

Again. I am sorry for any ill witted questions. But im really new at this. And love any perspective.

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For your next "meeting" take her out for dinner somewhere they have decent wine. Split the bottle between the two of you. Throughout dinner touch her. A hand on hers briefly. Rub her back as you walk past. Lean in and touch her hair and say "Your hair smells wonderful!" As you're doing that let your lips brush against her cheek.

 

Afterward go for a walk, someplace kinda private. Along the way put your arm around her shoulder. When you get to where you're going, announce "You're so beautiful I'm going to have to kiss you!" and then lean in and DO IT.

 

Confindence is 3/4 of the battle. I don't think she'd be hanging out with you if she wasn't interested. Throughout the evening with your escalating physical contact she will have plenty of opportunity to rebuff you. And if she doesn't want the kiss, she won't let you and your problem is solved.

 

Good luck.

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Your introversion and her extraversion may or may not be an issue in a relationship - it depends on what she likes to do. If she like clubs and dancing and you don't, for example, that could become an issue.

 

She seems to like you or she wouldn't go out with you.

 

But she might only see you as a "friend" not as a love interest. It depends whether she's attracted to you sexually, too.

 

You'll have to date her to see if this will lead to romance and a relationship.

 

You're not too late in showing affection - you hardly know each other at this stage so she wouldn't expect very much affection/intimacy.

 

Easy ways to touch are to take her arm when crossing the street or lightly touching her back as she goes through a door before you. You could, of course, learn how to read palms - the perfect opportunity to hold her hands (I say that in jest).

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Thanks for the replies. I guess that all hope isnt lost yet haha. Time to put your suggestions to the test^^

 

Funny though btw lovexocoach that you mention the palm reading thing. That pretty much perfectly explains what i meant by cerebral or planned. Its so damn cheesy and cliche haha. But i guess it can be good for it to be that obvious:)

 

Thanks!

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There is a fair chance you won't be compatible romantically. If she's really social you might not be her type, but there is only one way to find out. Next time, Ask her on a date!

 

Also, you may not notice signs of her attraction. Chances are your shyness is failing to illicit her attraction. It's your job to do this to her, just as she has already done this to you. You need to offer stimulating conversation, body language, and touching to make her interested.

 

Don't worry about losing her. If she says she doesn't want to date you, then ask if you can be friends and for her to be your wingwoman. Tell her you don't know how to date and attract women and that you want her help. If you go this route, You HAVE to give up on dating her or it will become awkward. Don't have a secret plan.

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Hiya

 

So. I got another meeting with her tomorrow. Il definitely be taking your advice with me. Trying not to screw this up^^

 

Atm just trying to talk some more confidence into myself. Well. im either doing that, or majorly lying to myself. But i guess in the end the results matter xD

 

Thanks again!

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Pfff.

 

Well thanks for all the advice. Sadly it didnt help much.

 

We had a talk. And it became clear that she had a feeling already that i felt more then just friendship. And that while she feels i am a nice person. That is trustworthy and caring. She just wants to be friends.

 

To be honest i really need a good friend, and i think she could be. The problem is that i wouldnt know how to handle that. It just feels so ackward. And besides, while having had that talk kinda cleared things up. It does hurt pretty badly.

 

What would you do?

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