MonWedFri Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 (edited) Date between two college students. If I send two texts to the girl I had a first date with eight hours after we finished the date, one saying "I had a great time today, [name] :)" and another text asking if she resolved her roommate situation--which we had talked about on the date how she is looking for a roommate in her college co-op and needs one by the end of a couple days from now--but only get a response to the second text, is that a bad sign that she does not want a second date? A mixed sign given what's said below? Upon our goodbye, she said "It was nice meeting you." and "We can make it work" in response to my saying that she and I should try to get together again despite the fact that I know she is busy these upcoming few days (she is to spend the weekend at a sports tournament competing). I figure I should just respond to the text and we can keep talking. Then I can call or contact her in a few days when she's back from the tournament and ask for a second date, which I simply need to do because I had such a great time. Disclaimer: We seemed to have a great time, laughing on the first date and chatting casually. So I thought she was interested based on body and verbal language, but reciprocation is often desirable to know for sure. Is it too early for me to be grabbing at straws? Edited January 23, 2015 by MonWedFri Link to post Share on other sites
365daysgone Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I don't fully understand the situation from your post. But my opinion is that I can never tell if the girl will be interested in a second date or not. The last few words "it was nice meeting you" or "I'll text you" don't mean anything. It's just something that is said in a way to conclude the time spent together. So after you meet her, text her and say you had a good time and hope to see her again. If she doesn't respond, game over. Link to post Share on other sites
Assada Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 You are putting this girl way high on the pedestal. Youre trying to get together again, and she is busy? - Bro, if the girl likes you, she'll make time for you. She wont be busy. All you're doing is just adding needy pressure to the situation. - Also, Your message didnt warrant a response. - Also you didnt even care about her roommate situation, you just wanted that needy answer back from her. Bro, See other women, and stop putting this one on the pedestal Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 It was nice meeting you is usually a bad sign from experience. Polite way of saying "You are nice but I don't think it will work" I heard that twice after a 1st date and never saw the person again and was so confused lol Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 It was nice meeting you is usually a bad sign from experience. Polite way of saying "You are nice but I don't think it will work" I heard that twice after a 1st date and never saw the person again and was so confused lol Sometimes the person is being sincere as well. They may genuinely mean they enjoyed spending time with you. Doesn't mean it has to be more of course. OP, I just say don't put all your eggs in one basket with one prospect...although it's hard try to just let a situation unfold and don't put in more effort than the other person does. Open yourself up to more than one woman. If you're single and not exclusively dating anyone, there's no reason not to be interested in more than one girl. It's a more efficient use of your time. But if you are uncomfortable with multi-dating, you don't have to do that either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Point well taken about not putting all the eggs in one basket. Generally speaking, that is something I don't do. However, since meeting this girl, that's been something I have wanted to do. So the "pedestal", if you want to call it that, can be just as easily taken down as it is put up. I happen to think she is really special, since we've been talking for over a month. But I'm not going to spend more time on her if the signs are clear. But that digresses. Basically, the point of my thread was just to see what people thought of the signs given during the date? I have since texted her back and we have exchanged a couple of text message, but no reference to the date or her feelings regarding it. But yes, if she is interested, she'll make time. Just wondering about the signs up until I contact her in a couple days via phone to actually ask for that second date. Thanks so far! Link to post Share on other sites
CT98 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Just ask for the 2nd frikin' date, man. Link to post Share on other sites
lovexocoach Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 You're overthinking this. You like her. She seems receptive to you. Ask her on another date and take it from there. If she doesn't want to go out again then move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 You're overthinking this. You like her. She seems receptive to you. Ask her on another date and take it from there. If she doesn't want to go out again then move on. That seems to be my problem with dating stuff, often I overthink things. Going to call her up tomorrow night for a second date. In your opinion, since we went out Thursday afternoon, is Tuesday night such a time gap that she might feel some type of way? We texted Thursday night and Friday morning, but she was gone at a sports tournament and didn't return until Sunday night. Will update everyone with results of the phone call to schedule second date, but just wanted to know thoughts on this type of stuff since I haven't dated in ages. I'm appreciative for the input. Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 That seems to be my problem with dating stuff, often I overthink things. Going to call her up tomorrow night for a second date. In your opinion, since we went out Thursday afternoon, is Tuesday night such a time gap that she might feel some type of way? We texted Thursday night and Friday morning, but she was gone at a sports tournament and didn't return until Sunday night. Will update everyone with results of the phone call to schedule second date, but just wanted to know thoughts on this type of stuff since I haven't dated in ages. I'm appreciative for the input. I think that's a good enough time gap. Also...on a totally relevant note - why is your username my class schedule? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 I think that's a good enough time gap. Also...on a totally relevant note - why is your username my class schedule? Because it's catchy and also happened to be my class schedule once upon a time Thanks for your input, by the way! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Because it's catchy and also happened to be my class schedule once upon a time Thanks for your input, by the way! Keep up updated, hope it goes well! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Date between two college students. If I send two texts to the girl I had a first date with eight hours after we finished the date, one saying "I had a great time today, [name] :)" and another text asking if she resolved her roommate situation--which we had talked about on the date how she is looking for a roommate in her college co-op and needs one by the end of a couple days from now--but only get a response to the second text, is that a bad sign that she does not want a second date? A mixed sign given what's said below? Upon our goodbye, she said "It was nice meeting you." and "We can make it work" in response to my saying that she and I should try to get together again despite the fact that I know she is busy these upcoming few days (she is to spend the weekend at a sports tournament competing). I figure I should just respond to the text and we can keep talking. Then I can call or contact her in a few days when she's back from the tournament and ask for a second date, which I simply need to do because I had such a great time. Disclaimer: We seemed to have a great time, laughing on the first date and chatting casually. So I thought she was interested based on body and verbal language, but reciprocation is often desirable to know for sure. Is it too early for me to be grabbing at straws? Oh, JESUS CHRIST dude. Do not put this woman on a pedestal. You are in college. Everybody is single and the pool is HUGE. Keep fishing the pool until you get some physical action, and THEN come back and ask this question again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) Update: Called, left a voicemail at around 8:30. That was three hours ago. Guess I just wait from here. Edited January 28, 2015 by MonWedFri Link to post Share on other sites
365daysgone Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Update: Called, left a voicemail at around 8:30. That was three hours ago. Guess I just wait from here. Any response yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Any response yet? Unfortunately, not yet. Like I said, left a voicemail at 8:30 PM. It's 9:00 AM the next day. I wasn't sure what to expect as far as a response goes, but I have been hearing 24 hours is a critical period. So if nothing by tonight, call or text and then leave it at that. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) Update: She got back to me. She had a great time, but wanted to make her intentions clear: because she feels that she has too much baggage associated with her ex boyfriend, she feels she should only pursue friendship at this stage. Edited January 29, 2015 by MonWedFri Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Update: She got back to me. She had a great time, but wanted to make her intentions clear: because she feels that she has too much baggage associated with her ex boyfriend, she feels she should only pursue friendship at this stage. Pfft. Of all the BS man. If she is worried about baggage, then why is she dating in the first place? College students don't have baggage. 40 year old women with several kids, tens of thousands of dollars in debt and ex-husbands who can't pay child support have baggage. And they still date. Women need to be more upfront. "It's not a match." That's all that needs to be said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Pfft. Of all the BS man. If she is worried about baggage, then why is she dating in the first place? College students don't have baggage. 40 year old women with several kids, tens of thousands of dollars in debt and ex-husbands who can't pay child support have baggage. And they still date. Women need to be more upfront. "It's not a match." That's all that needs to be said. My thoughts exactly! But she texted me again today. Saying... "I'm pretty busy this weekend. But I might be down to grab some lunch or study or something" Either swayed by my response to her and wants to dip her toes....or is "friend zoning" as they say. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 My thoughts exactly! But she texted me again today. Saying... "I'm pretty busy this weekend. But I might be down to grab some lunch or study or something" Either swayed by my response to her and wants to dip her toes....or is "friend zoning" as they say. I would guess friend zoning. To be fair, young girls don't really know what they are doing in terms of leading guys on and dragging rejections out. Don't be that guy though. Like I said, until you get any physical action, minimal investment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MonWedFri Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) I would guess friend zoning. To be fair, young girls don't really know what they are doing in terms of leading guys on and dragging rejections out. Don't be that guy though. Like I said, until you get any physical action, minimal investment. You mean they are bad at ending things quickly if they're not interested, on average? Yeah, minimal investment. I texted her back giving her (friendly) options for hanging out, just as a way to spend time in case she was being genuine and is wooable. But it would be quite a minimal investment, if it even happens at all. Edit: But seriously, honesty is the best policy. Dating is an earnest attempt at opening up, people know the risks, and I for one would appreciate the "Not interested" so much more than any gentle response. Edited February 1, 2015 by MonWedFri Link to post Share on other sites
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