waprah Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 So I started seeing this guy a few weeks ago. We were getting on really great and before Christmas I asked him to be my boyfriend and he agreed and we were both delighted. Everything was going great until a few days ago when he had to put his dog down (very very close to him). From then on he changed. I could feel him pushing me away. I called him up on it yesterday and said he said he was really confused by everything, didnt know what he wants. The dog dying made him realise we didnt know each other that well. Said when I asked his to be my BF, he wasnt 100% sure. He said he wasnt sure if how he felt now was because of everything that happened with the dog or not. I said thats fine. I was feeling the pressure myself and that maybe we should take a break for a week which we decided to do. I dont even know why Im posting this here. Im just very confused I guess and needed to write it out. Im trying to figure out whether its me or hes just lost in a depression from grief. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Give him space, give him time, let him come to you. If you hear nothing by the 18th, then consider it well and truly over. But my guess is he will be in touch. Then - you'll need to talk about being there for one another, and not pushing away in times of need. But be careful; if he is prepared to do this, because his dog died (and no - I'm not saying it's a trivial or inconsequential loss) then how will he handle a crisis? Link to post Share on other sites
toscaroscura Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I admit it, I clicked on this thread for the title. The way I see it, there's only 3 possibilities. 1) the dog's death, while traumatic, is merely a red herring and an excuse to break up with you. Sometimes people don't want to admit something just isn't working so they use life crises to do the work for them. 2) something you said and/or did surrounding the dog's death turned him off. Maybe he had expectations you'd react a certain way and you didn't (or you reacted in a way he didn't like). 3) He's the type to shut people out during a crisis, like evanescentworld said, and do you really want someone like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 When my beloved spaniel will die I will be an emotional wreck for months. That is what happened when I lost my 11 yo Shetland. It took me 6 months to snap out of it enough to crack a smile. Just leave him be and look him up in a few months. He won't be married by then I assure you. Link to post Share on other sites
Assada Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Yup. Its because youre being needy OP. The guy's dog died, and youre calling him all the time saying "me me me, do stuff with me, me me me" and he's like "Just leave me alone for a while" You make him second guess the relationship because your need for attention in his time of greif Link to post Share on other sites
Author waprah Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Thanks guys I guess I just play the waiting game and in the meantime think about what I want for me, rather than what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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