Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Hello All, Last night was going to be our 9th or 10th date. The previous day he contacted me to wish me Happy New Year and we had a nice fun exchange. When we ended the conversation I said 'we're still on tomorrow night?' and he replied 'you bet we are!' So yesterday at around 4 pm I am thinking it's kind of weird I did not hear from him. I shoot him a text and nothing from him, and nothing all night. This morning nothing and around 9h30 I left a message I would like an explanation. We're 11h and nothing. I am home alone super disappointed. It's been the story of my life these past years. I cannot find a man that won't disappoint me big time in those first couple of months of dating. I am thinking he must have a good reason but unless he's hooked up to a machine in a hospital somewhere I can't imagine any other good explanation. This ever happened to you? did their explanation make sense? Thank you, 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 It was a 1st date. We had agreed on a chain to have lunch. Sadly neither of us realized there were two franchises in the same city. I was at one. He was at the other. Does is count as being stood up if it was mutual? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Since it's the 9th or 10th date I'd be genuinely worried. If he has a lame excuse I'd rip through him then dump him. Hope he's ok. Did you try calling? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I got almost stood up once...he fell asleep on his sofa and turned up late. This was in the days before mobiles. He ran into the place with a very worried expression on his face and was all out of breath just as I was getting ready to leave. Has your date been consistent and proactive with dates and contact up til now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Has your date been consistent and proactive with dates and contact up til now? Yes I feel what we have is pretty consistent. We are both off the dating sites, we talk each day or second day and see each other on weekly basis. If we have plans and something unexpected comes up he's always warned me ahead and rescheduled. That being said you know how it goes. I feel I am investing in something with good potential but .... With all the technology available to us i am puzzled by what could have happened. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Since it's the 9th or 10th date I'd be genuinely worried. If he has a lame excuse I'd rip through him then dump him. Hope he's ok. Did you try calling? I go from worried to pissed. I've called this morning, was sent to voicemail, and left a message I was waiting to hear what had happened. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I'd give it a day or so, he may have signal problems or something on his mobile network. If he is on social media but only accesses that via his phone too then he won't be able to contact you on there wither. If as you say he has been consistent and he was the same as usual last time you met and had contact then there is probably a reason for the lack of communication. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Hello All, Last night was going to be our 9th or 10th date. The previous day he contacted me to wish me Happy New Year and we had a nice fun exchange. When we ended the conversation I said 'we're still on tomorrow night?' and he replied 'you bet we are!' So yesterday at around 4 pm I am thinking it's kind of weird I did not hear from him. I shoot him a text and nothing from him, and nothing all night. This morning nothing and around 9h30 I left a message I would like an explanation. We're 11h and nothing. I am home alone super disappointed. It's been the story of my life these past years. I cannot find a man that won't disappoint me big time in those first couple of months of dating. I am thinking he must have a good reason but unless he's hooked up to a machine in a hospital somewhere I can't imagine any other good explanation. This ever happened to you? did their explanation make sense? Thank you, Nope. As you said, unless the person is dead in a ditch, kidnapped, in a coma or something serious like that, there is usually no good reason. I've been stood up without a word maybe twice and was so worried that something must have happened and nothing did. I remember once it was after my birthday and I was supposed to go out with this guy I'd been seeing. Earlier that day we had talked about it and everything was a go. His car was in the shop (now I don't believe that story either) and I offered to pick him up. I text him later on to send the address so I can put it into my GPS, no response. I wait a while then call...no answer. I called again after maybe an hour...straight to voicemail. At 5am he texts me about how he fell asleep and he's sorry and no word of making it up.... Right. The other time the guy said he would call me back to let me know what time we were going out. Hours and hours passed and I sent a text to ask if we were still on, no response. He also popped up the next day with some excuse about phone died or some nonsense. In no case has it been legit in my experience. In the legit cases where we've had to cancel a date the guy has called or texted me and let me know in advance and also immediately made new plans. Then the other kind of standing up is the canceling but no word of new plans. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I stood up a guy I'd been dating the day my father died. I was so overcome with grief that I forgot to call and cancel the date. He knew my dad was in the last stages of life, in hospice care at our house because I'd told him. He wanted to see me and I agreed to see him, but had no idea that the date we agreed to see each other on, would be the day my dad died. He understood after I finally called him to apologize. He felt awful, came to my dad's wake with his friend, and we've remained friends ever since then. I've been stood up since that time, by guys who were just plain no shows, whom I connected with via OLD. Since I won't do OLD anymore, I'm hoping I will meet guys now in person who won't stand me up. But as we all know, there's no guarantees in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 So you didn't spend new years together??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TabbyHearts Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 never have been stood up for a legitimate reason. In my history men just "ghost" on me...poof, disappear! One time was with a guy I had been on 7 dates with. He left my place one morning, said I'll call you later, gave me a kiss and vanished into thin air. The other time was a guy I had only been on one date with. We had plans for a second and about 15 minutes before we were due to meet he texted me to cancel and ask to reschedule for some other time. That other time never came. Let us know what happens! The real sad part is the realization that we are never safe from these f*cking games...sigh, seriously when can you ever rest easy in a relationship??? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 never have been stood up for a legitimate reason. In my history men just "ghost" on me...poof, disappear! One time was with a guy I had been on 7 dates with. He left my place one morning, said I'll call you later, gave me a kiss and vanished into thin air. The other time was a guy I had only been on one date with. We had plans for a second and about 15 minutes before we were due to meet he texted me to cancel and ask to reschedule for some other time. That other time never came. Let us know what happens! The real sad part is the realization that we are never safe from these f*cking games...sigh, seriously when can you ever rest easy in a relationship??? Here, here to your last sentence. It's sad, but so true. Oh, so true. Reminds me of that Naked Eyes song, . No matter what people tell you, you shouldn't believe them until they follow through on said promises. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 So you didn't spend new years together??? No we did not. Is it relevant? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 It's difficult while you don't know what's going on though, because on one hand you hope the person is okay but if they indeed are alive and well they are an ass and on the other, you think well at least if something awful happened to them they aren't an ass and didn't just stand me up for no reason. So it's always this anxious waiting of at least let me know you're okay, but if you find out they are you realize they're asses. I hope you find out which it is soon so you can know the truth. Is there no other way to check on him? Social media? Snapchat or Whatsapp (these usually tell when the person has last been online or if you send a Snapchat it will show when it's been viewed so that's one way I've been able to check if I'm worried). If you can check up in those ways it will at least relieve your concerns about if he's dead in a ditch or what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 In my history men just "ghost" on me...poof, disappear! I had that done to me after 6 months in an exclusive relationship. Since then I suspect every man I date will do the same. It's not a nice feeling. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
newlyborn Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 something tells me that he is not dead and there was no other emergency in his life. were you dating exclusively? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Only time that's happened to me was when a husband was involved. Not the best way to find out about such an issue but I guess it worked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Is there no other way to check on him? Social media? Snapchat or Whatsapp (these usually tell when the person has last been online or if you send a Snapchat it will show when it's been viewed so that's one way I've been able to check if I'm worried). If you can check up in those ways it will at least relieve your concerns about if he's dead in a ditch or what. No he is not on anything, no FB or anything else, and we're not on the dating site anymore. It just dawn on me I've never thought of asking him his last name and he never asked mine either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 No we did not. Is it relevant? Yes. If you were important to him you would have brought in the new year together. Did he even spend Christmas with you? Either A, he is married or has a GF and got busted or there is suspicion or her plans got cancelled so he is stuck. That would explain the no show/ no communication. It will be interesting what excuse he comes up with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 No he is not on anything, no FB or anything else, and we're not on the dating site anymore. It just dawn on me I've never thought of asking him his last name and he never asked mine either. Gaeta......seriously? you that gulible? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Yes. If you were important to him you would have brought in the new year together. Did he even spend Christmas with you? Either A, he is married or has a GF and got busted or there is suspicion or her plans got cancelled so he is stuck. That would explain the no show/ no communication. I would not spend the Holidays with a man I dated for only a couple of months. I introduced my ex-boyfriend to my family after 6 months dating. It gives you an idea of my style. For Xmas I went 12 hours north of here with my daughter and spent it with my parents. He did like me, he spent his Holidays with his children (4) at his parents place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Gaeta......seriously? you that gulible? Gullible because I did not ask him his last name? I don't give out my last name just like that. I got crazy stories to tell when I did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 You went out on 9 dates and know so little about a guy. Pickin the wrong guys to date Gaeta if you have to be that paranoid. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
TabbyHearts Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I've dated guys who didn't know my last name and further to that, I have a common first name but with a unique spelling, so when I tell someone my first name online, I use the generic spelling or else I'm afraid they'll find me and then I'll be on the news.... I also don't tell people where I work as it's very well known and I don't fancy having a stalker. But 10 dates?? 10 dates and you haven't exchanged this information? If I'm really into someone I want to know every detail about them, especially their last name so I can see how it sounds with my first...haha 4 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 hum... i am sorry to say this to you, but it looks like another woman happened to him. Another woman at NYE. While I agree with you that he cannot spend Christmas with you... NYE ? Why not? Did he at least introduce you to his friends? After 9 dates, which would be more than a month, a month and a half, I think that would only be normal. Irrelevant, I think you are within your right to ask to be treated nicely, but... per se... nobody owes you anything. Such is life. best of luck to you, keep it all together and if you don't hear from him by the end of the week, put those profiles back up. cheers ! PS. NEver been stood up by a date, but have been stood up by a male friend. His excuse - the girl he was inlust with accepted to hang out with him, so he went for it. I barely saw my mate that month - he was really into that chick. Men and chicks, I swear !!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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