For you men, did losing your virginity make it easier for you to approach women?

[AVarma]

Did it improve your confidence with women? Did it make it easier for you to date and find girlfriends?

[Rydo]

Did it improve your confidence with women? Did it make it easier for you to date and find girlfriends?

 

I don't think so. Though I was young when I lost my virginity. I think it's got easier as I've got older, I date hotter and younger girls now than I could have 10 years ago.

[endlessabyss]

Simple answer:

 

 

No

[somedude81]

Losing my virginity caused me to see women differently and I finally understood why I wanted to pursue women.

 

It did not make me more confident or make me feel better about approaching women.

[AVarma]

I finally understood why I wanted to pursue women.

 

.

 

I'm not sure I really understand this? Pursuing women is a natural male desire, why do you need another reason?

Edited December 26, 2014 by AVarma

[somedude81]

I'm not sure I really understand this? Pursuing women is a natural male desire, why do you need another reason?

 

Eh not exactly.

 

Yes I naturally wanted to pursue women. It was an instinct. But once I had sex with a woman it made sense why I wanted to pursue them. I understood why.

 

Right now you know that you want women and desire sex, but you don't know what sex is, what it feels like etc.

[ThaWholigan]

Honestly? Not really.

 

I had to get better by actually being regularly social with women often. Losing the virginity was a red herring. Being more confident in who I was and how I related to women was what helped.

[jeffmeyers]

No.

 

 

But it did make the issue of getting some less important.

[TouchedByViolet]

Yes. Made me think "if it happened before it can happen again."

[gaius]

I was so confident for my first date she didn't even know I was a virgin. Despite being so psyched that I got maybe a couple hours sleep total the night before. She just thought I was a non-virgin who was kind of bad at sex and kissing.

 

Not much has changed since except the whole bad thing, hopefully.

[Tayken]

Did it improve your confidence with women? Did it make it easier for you to date and find girlfriends?

 

I fail to see the correlation in this i.e. losing your virginity and dating / finding a mate. It all boils down to confidence really, and if you are the type that can keep your head high, speak with confidence and carry yourself accordingly in a non-arrogant way, then you should be able to meet girls that can possible lead to much more even if just FWBs

[Ninjainpajamas]

Not at all, had nothing to do with that.

 

I can't really say there was one thing that made me more confident with women, maybe understanding them and feeling more comfortable being around them as I started dating young...maybe just learning and always developing my self confidence and letting the rest come naturally...but I never really had that problem with talking to women once I started a conversation with women, it was breaking the ice that was always weird for me if it was just spontaneous...but as you get older you give a lot less of a damn than you used to.

 

I think when I was younger I just didn't know that I was expected to do this or that, I didn't pick up the signs or queues...I think I hesitated too much and waited for the perfect timing. It also completely went over my head when I was being flirted with.

 

What I noticed was that usually if they were interested they were just waiting for me to approach the entire time and I was basically wasting my own time...and if I didn't make a move then they would.

 

I think in life you've got to have the courage to try things that scare you if you truly want to figure that out, if you stay worried about all the possibilities of failure and why not, then you'll get in your own head and be in such a bad place that you won't even make a move or it'll be a disaster...sometimes you just got to suck it up and do it, and if you're someone who learns from your mistakes or even quickly, you'll learn that it isn't rocket science, it was just you holding yourself back.

 

Like most things, you get good at things with practice...unless of course you just suck, then that's just too bad.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Not only did that increase my confidence, but every time I have been able to land a relationship, my confidence goes up a ton.

 

Then, after it's over, I go out, get rejected dozens of times, many times by women who don't even give me a figurative chance.

 

And I'm like, hey what's going on here?

 

Just the way things are.

[somedude81]

Not only did that increase my confidence, but every time I have been able to land a relationship, my confidence goes up a ton.

 

Then, after it's over, I go out, get rejected dozens of times, many times by women who don't even give me a figurative chance.

 

And I'm like, hey what's going on here?

 

Just the way things are.

 

Being in a relationship did a lot more for increasing my confidence than just losing my virginity.

 

I think they key may be having a constant source of validation.

[Grego]

It usually helps a lot for a multitude of reasons especially when the guy is mid twenties or older. There's a huge stigma that's been removed. The guys don't have to be concerned anymore that she'll ask the dreaded question.

[AVarma]

The guys don't have to be concerned anymore that she'll ask the dreaded question.

 

How do you even get to the point where a woman asks? Noone has ever asked me. The only thing that has concerned me is whether or not I should volunteer the information, I don't why but for some reason I was under the impression that people volunteer the fact that they are virgins before having sex for the first time. I'd be super embarrassed, and would probably lie, if a woman asked me directly.

[Grego]

How do you even get to the point where a woman asks? Noone has ever asked me. The only thing that has concerned me is whether or not I should volunteer the information, I don't why but for some reason I was under the impression that people volunteer the fact that they are virgins before having sex for the first time. I'd be super embarrassed, and would probably lie, if a woman asked me directly.

 

She doesn't have to ask. It's usually so obvious.

[Danda]

She doesn't have to ask. It's usually so obvious.

 

Either they're a virgin, or they're really high, or something about us is secretly scaring them to the point that it's overriding their hormones and causing them to hesitate.

 

So if anything, divulging that you're just inexperienced could be a huge relief.

[Grego]

Either they're a virgin, or they're really high, or something about us is secretly scaring them to the point that it's overriding their hormones and causing them to hesitate.

 

So if anything, divulging that you're just inexperienced could be a huge relief.

 

Not really. Thats not what she wants to hear. She wants to hear he knows what he is doing.

[AVarma]

She doesn't have to ask. It's usually so obvious.

 

How is it obvious exactly?

[gaius]

How do you even get to the point where a woman asks? Noone has ever asked me. The only thing that has concerned me is whether or not I should volunteer the information, I don't why but for some reason I was under the impression that people volunteer the fact that they are virgins before having sex for the first time. I'd be super embarrassed, and would probably lie, if a woman asked me directly.

Just be quiet about it. I had a girl before my first who I got very close with and she guessed I was one, but she had known me for a while before we started up and never saw me with anyone so that was probably the dead give away. But if I went around braying about it and barfing insecurity I bet she would have been turned off.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Being in a relationship did a lot more for increasing my confidence than just losing my virginity.

 

I think they key may be having a constant source of validation.

 

When you take the highs of a relationship: the good times, laughs, good conversation and just general fond memories and compare that with...

 

being just abruptly and summarily dismissed by several women who haven't even given you a chance, say one word to you at a party and then get up to go and talk to someone else, reject you OLD, etc, etc, it just really blows my mind how the first was ever able to happen in the first place.

 

When I get out of a relationship, I want to recapture those good times, plus find somebody who doesn't have the incompatibilities of me and the last person. So, I feel I'm starting at that point and going up.

 

What I find is that I start off at the way bottom instead. I have to go through many, many women just to find someone who will give me a chance. And at that point, what are the chances we have any compatibility?

Edited December 27, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[AVarma]

Just be quiet about it. I had a girl before my first who I got very close with and she guessed I was one, but she had known me for a while before we started up and never saw me with anyone so that was probably the dead give away. But if I went around braying about it and barfing insecurity I bet she would have been turned off.

 

I understand what you're talking about. I think this would apply to anything though, not just virginity. Just for the record I haven't told anybody that I haven't done it yet and I don't talk about it or complain about it at all in public. Of course on a online forum why not ask questions?

[CrystalCastles]

Did it improve your confidence with women? Did it make it easier for you to date and find girlfriends?

 

Honestly, why do you keep making these threads? It seriously does not matter to MANY women whether you are a virgin or not. I seriously would not care if you told me. And if a woman would care, she's not dating material, to judge you on your sexuality anyway.

 

Stop fixating so much on this. Stop acting like no woman wants you just because you haven't inserted your dick into a number of vaginas. Virginity is not unattractive but obsessing about it to the degree you are is.

 

Its much more attractive to me, at least, if a guy is eager to please, giving, pays attention to my body and sounds, does his best to get me off, is willing to try new things, is excited about me and having sex with me. Loves giving and receiving oral. Loves my vagina and isn't disgusted or repulsed by it. That is super sexy to me, and I really don't care if the man in question is a virgin or a man whore. Really really don't care whatsoever. Its much better to be with a giving lover who is excited about you, than to be with someone selfish. And those traits have nothing to do with the number of past partners.

 

and would probably lie, if a woman asked me directly.

 

Don't lie. That is such a dick move.

Edited December 27, 2014 by CrystalCastles

[SomeDude16]

Don't lie. That is such a dick move.

 

Ehhh, it's only a dick move if you give them a reason to think otherwise.

 

Story time: I was a virgin at one point, like everyone. The girl I was with was not a virgin. She invited me to her place and we had sex, but not once... Twice that night. Did she know? Nope. Did she care I was a virgin before then? Nope. Did she end up wanting more? Yes. Sex is not hard. It's not something only a select few people can do. It's universal across all cultures and races across all continents, and maybe even in space (if aliens exist). Just forget about it and the right women and right moment will arrive in your life.