Jump to content

View's on appearance


Tonic

Recommended Posts

So im just wondering what your views are on this topic. For me i don't think its overly important. I would never disregard anyone because of how they look.*

 

But when any woman grabs my attention, its not because they are model material - more so i find features attractive. E.g: smile, eyes or the way said person carries them self.

 

So i guess i think some form of initial attraction based off of appearance is important because that is somewhat a first impression. But i will always be the kind of guy that puts personality first.

 

What is important to you? A sexy body - model material - The way someone dresses or acts.

 

Would you be attracted to someone who is average look? Someone who doesn't have a great body and so on.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am attracted to a variety of appearances, but would say that all of them fall at least in the average to above average range. If appearance isn't also backed by a compatible personality, then their appearance no longer matters as an attractor. On the flip side, someone can have a great personality and intellect, but if there isn't also physical attraction (to the extent I mention above), they will be a friend at most.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I consider someones mind to be their most attractive feature.

 

Physical beauty is nice, but it's not enough.

 

Okay this is good - Say you briefly meet someone who is very intellectual. What draws you to this person/persons before you have the chance to realise this.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I am attracted to a variety of appearances, but would say that all of them fall at least in the average to above average range. If appearance isn't also backed by a compatible personality, then their appearance no longer matters as an attractor. On the flip side, someone can have a great personality and intellect, but if there isn't also physical attraction (to the extent I mention above), they will be a friend at most.

 

I completely understand :) but this would also raise the question of what some people consider average looking, care to elaborate your views?

Link to post
Share on other sites

looks can tell us about a person. For example if someone smokes, they are likely high strung. if they are overweight, they are not into fitness and healthy living. if they have a crew cut, they often have a different mindset compared to someone with long hair. girls with short hair can be more "no nonsense' types than some of the longer haired girls. if their eye whites are blood shot, they may have allergies, drink alcohol frequently or other drugs.

 

these are generalizations but you get the idea. when looking for a love partner, it is helpful if you both share basic values. \ if you get clear on your values, what is really important to you, what is right/wrong, good/bad, what are your dealbreakers, what qualities are you looking for in a partner. when you are clear, you will meet the right person more easily.:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
looks can tell us about a person. For example if someone smokes, they are likely high strung. if they are overweight, they are not into fitness and healthy living. if they have a crew cut, they often have a different mindset compared to someone with long hair. girls with short hair can be more "no nonsense' types than some of the longer haired girls. if their eye whites are blood shot, they may have allergies, drink alcohol frequently or other drugs.

 

these are generalizations but you get the idea. when looking for a love partner, it is helpful if you both share basic values. \ if you get clear on your values, what is really important to you, what is right/wrong, good/bad, what are your dealbreakers, what qualities are you looking for in a partner. when you are clear, you will meet the right person more easily.:)

 

 

Great answer, thank you for sharing. But i do believe looks can be deceiving - i can understand how these stereotypes come about. But by judging someone based of the elements you described would that deter you from approaching some one?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

By the way guys and or girls, I'm not arguing in response to these messages, more so trying to develop a strong debate for everyone thats reading and to make things completely clear :) thanks again guys, loving these comments.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Okay this is good - Say you briefly meet someone who is very intellectual. What draws you to this person/persons before you have the chance to realise this.

 

Maybe nothing.

 

Which is why it is important to interact with people socially so that connections can be made that are not based on looks.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Maybe nothing.

 

Which is why it is important to interact with people socially so that connections can be made that are not based on looks.

 

I completely agree with you. Care to share your views from your perspective?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle

I for one don't over think the process. If/when it happens it happens and I don't question the process.

 

I mean, if there was such a thing as a computer where you could enter all the things you want in the "perfect" partner, I'm sure we could ALL manage it :)

 

It's no secret that looks are the first thing people see and often opens up a world of possibilities and opportunities that "less attractive" (or at least by societal standards) people might have. It's unfortunate of course.

 

For ME, it's one thing for a guy to look like he crawled out of the pages of GQ but if he can't back up his smoldering looks with something more like sense of humor, depth, character, integrity, personality etc., my fascination with him is fleeting at best.

 

And that goes for the flip side of that as well. I've fallen head-over-heels for "average" men or men that wouldn't have otherwise registered on my radar because they possessed all these qualities and more which in turn, made them ridiculously attractive to me.

 

The truth is that what might be attractive to one person may not be to another. It's very subjective.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I for one don't over think the process. If/when it happens it happens and I don't question the process.

 

I mean, if there was such a thing as a computer where you could enter all the things you want in the "perfect" partner, I'm sure we could ALL manage it :)

 

It's no secret that looks are the first thing people see and often opens up a world of possibilities and opportunities that "less attractive" (or at least by societal standards) people might have. It's unfortunate of course.

 

For ME, it's one thing for a guy to look like he crawled out of the pages of GQ but if he can't back up his smoldering looks with something more like sense of humor, depth, character, integrity, personality etc., my fascination with him is fleeting at best.

 

And that goes for the flip side of that as well. I've fallen head-over-heels for "average" men or men that wouldn't have otherwise registered on my radar because they possessed all these qualities and more which in turn, made them ridiculously attractive to me.

 

The truth is that what might be attractive to one person may not be to another. It's very subjective.

 

That is very true, beauty is in the eye of the beholder (Or something along those lines) Subjective is an under statement. But thats why i started this thread, i love hearing different opinions.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I completely agree with you. Care to share your views from your perspective?

 

My perspective is that attraction based on appearance is literally shallow, meaning not the kind of persisting attraction that burns deep in the soul over time. So while attraction based on appearance is great, and can be part of a bigger package, it isn't enough. And attraction based on deeper qualities can make a person appear more attractive physically, and can last a lifetime.

 

But if all you're looking for is appearance (or primarily looking for appearance), that deeper attraction may never be experienced.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Physical attraction will catch my attention, but it definitely won't keep it for more than five minutes if there's nothing else to go with it. With that being said, even the best personality in the world can't make someone attractive. There definitely has to be some sort of balance, although personality/character are definitely #1.

 

Physical attraction is very subjective anyways. I definitely don't find "model attractive" to be sexy in the least bit.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
My perspective is that attraction based on appearance is literally shallow, meaning not the kind of persisting attraction that burns deep in the soul over time. So while attraction based on appearance is great, and can be part of a bigger package, it isn't enough. And attraction based on deeper qualities can make a person appear more attractive physically, and can last a lifetime.

 

But if all you're looking for is appearance (or primarily looking for appearance), that deeper attraction may never be experienced.

 

Many valid points. From my point of view, i wouldn't say its a fine line between the two, due to this topic being so broad, but do you not believe there are certain features that contribute to this attraction. A smile, eyes, an accent, the way so one speaks, someones height or even just how someone laughs?

Link to post
Share on other sites
I completely understand :) but this would also raise the question of what some people consider average looking, care to elaborate your views?

 

Average can be hard to define clearly. I think it corresponds pretty well with what most people would consider average and above. If you rate people versus other people in terms of facial features and body type (say, a 10 point scale), then most such ratings on an individual will cluster with some outliers (some people will have their own specific ideals or dislikes).

 

Scientific studies define pretty well (but abstractly) what people tend to find attractive on average (for women): regular features, healthy skin and hair, and a waist/hip ratio around 0.7. I personally find this the basis for those I find attractive - on average - as well. There may be some outliers where a particular person has a different combination but is still very attractive to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle

Going to sound very shallow here, but...

 

T&A

 

That is always the immediate call of the wild. Like 4 seconds. Then, more reasonable considerations begin to emerge. And maybe T&A is not even a fair summation; more like thickness. I like healthy looking women with curves.

 

Just being honest.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Average can be hard to define clearly. I think it corresponds pretty well with what most people would consider average and above. If you rate people versus other people in terms of facial features and body type (say, a 10 point scale), then most such ratings on an individual will cluster with some outliers (some people will have their own specific ideals or dislikes).

 

Scientific studies define pretty well (but abstractly) what people tend to find attractive on average (for women): regular features, healthy skin and hair, and a waist/hip ratio around 0.7. I personally find this the basis for those I find attractive - on average - as well. There may be some outliers where a particular person has a different combination but is still very attractive to me.

 

Thank you for your contribution. So i guess another topic to discuss would be, what do you consider "average" (A question for anyone to answer)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Going to sound very shallow here, but...

 

T&A

 

That is always the immediate call of the wild. Like 4 seconds. Then, more reasonable considerations begin to emerge. And maybe T&A is not even a fair summation; more like thickness. I like healthy looking women with curves.

 

Just being honest.

 

Appreciate the honesty mate, we all have things we find appealing whether it be appearance or personality. There is no wrong or right answer here.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Unless you are forced into a social interaction with someone, more likely than not you will not engage that person unless there's a modicum of physical attraction. So I have to disagree with your assertion that personality comes first. It may be most important to you in the long run, but physical attraction more often than not comes first chronologically. Physical attraction is what motivates someone to interact socially with another.

 

Of course, it may all just be semantics I'm arguing... :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Unless you are forced into a social interaction with someone, more likely than not you will not engage that person unless there's a modicum of physical attraction. So I have to disagree with your assertion that personality comes first. It may be most important to you in the long run, but physical attraction more often than not comes first chronologically. Physical attraction is what motivates someone to interact socially with another.

 

Of course, it may all just be semantics I'm arguing... :rolleyes:

 

Definitely. Ill use myself as an example here, say im at a bar/club, ill hear someone talking with an english accent (i find the english accent very appealing) i can not see the person but can tell in what direction, or abouts that it is coming from. I would more often than not go and speak with said person.

 

In that situation, its not looks or personality really?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Unless you are forced into a social interaction with someone, more likely than not you will not engage that person unless there's a modicum of physical attraction. So I have to disagree with your assertion that personality comes first. It may be most important to you in the long run, but physical attraction more often than not comes first chronologically. Physical attraction is what motivates someone to interact socially with another.

 

That doesn't reflect my experience at all. It actually confuses me. Do you only talk to people in your neighborhood, or at a wedding or other social event, if they are attractive to you? :confused:

 

In a "looking for a date" situation, I agree. But in normal life, no.

Link to post
Share on other sites

looks don't stop me from being friends with someone, but they do affect my love choices. being someone interested in fitness and health, it would be counterproductive for me to get involved with someone who isn't interested in these two things. i can love them as people, but i may not want to make out with them.... sorry if this makes me a bad person, but i am being honest here.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That doesn't reflect my experience at all. It actually confuses me. Do you only talk to people in your neighborhood, or at a wedding or other social event, if they are attractive to you? :confused:

 

In a "looking for a date" situation, I agree. But in normal life, no.

 

Yes, it would be particular to a "looking for a date" situation. And I think single folks are perpetually in that state, so they are more inclined to talk to someone that catches their eye while in "date mode"...

 

But I agree, normal life, no.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
looks don't stop me from being friends with someone, but they do affect my love choices. being someone interested in fitness and health, it would be counterproductive for me to get involved with someone who isn't interested in these two things. i can love them as people, but i may not want to make out with them.... sorry if this makes me a bad person, but i am being honest here.

 

Doesnt make you a bad person at all, im nobody to judge. And its pretty evident that most people have a slightly different opinion. But with that being said, what if you met someone, who wasn't into the "healthy" lifestyle, but pocessed other aspects or traits you were interested in - would you consider. Or is the healthy lifestyle somewhat a deal breaker for you

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...