Have you ever dated outside your race/culture/religion?

[AVarma]

I was born and raised in the US to an Indian Muslim family. I myself however do not practice the religion. I eat pork for ex. I have noticed however the different reactions from people when they hear my "funny" name. Some are intrigued, some are suspicious. I've heard a few rumors of women being warned not to date me because of my religious background.

 

My parents are pretty traditional and would oppose me marrying someone from a different religion, although I've made it clear that I'm not going through the arranged marriage process (although I have considered at moments of desperation).

 

So how many of you have dated outside your culture? Have any of you ever dated Indians or Muslims? How was the experience? Positive? Negative?

[Els]

I don't really have a religion - my parents have a religion but it's not really mine.

 

I've dated outside my race before. It didn't make any difference. The one time I dated outside my culture, though, there was a significant culture clash, which probably led to us being incompatible in general. However, that was just one experience...

 

At any rate, given that you live in the US and were born and raised there, I don't think your culture would limit you to the degree that it does those of us who were born and raised in other countries. I do know several Indians who dated outside their race, but not Muslims. Are you a staunch Muslim (as in, do you actually live your life according to the Quran, eat halal, fast on Ramadhan, etc), or are you just tagging along in the religion because of your parents?

[mammasita]

I think the question in my case is when have I not.

 

Never dated Indian or Muslim, but had I encountered a man I was interested in when I was single - Being Indian or Muslim would have been inconsequential.

[AVarma]

I don't really have a religion - my parents have a religion but it's not really mine.

 

I've dated outside my race before. It didn't make any difference. The one time I dated outside my culture, though, there was a significant culture clash, which probably led to us being incompatible in general. However, that was just one experience...

 

At any rate, given that you live in the US and were born and raised there, I don't think your culture would limit you to the degree that it does those of us who were born and raised in other countries. I do know several Indians who dated outside their race, but not Muslims. Are you a staunch Muslim (as in, do you actually live your life according to the Quran, eat halal, fast on Ramadhan, etc), or are you just tagging along in the religion because of your parents?

 

I pretty much tag along in the religion because of my parents. I don't follow any of the things you listed. As for the indians you know who dated outside their race were they born and raised in India or the US? Was it just casual dating or serious relationships?

[Els]

I pretty much tag along in the religion because of my parents. I don't follow any of the things you listed.

 

Then it should not be a problem as long as you make that clear. However there are a lot of stereotypes about Islam currently, so that will unfortunately affect you to a degree.

 

As for the indians you know who dated outside their race were they born and raised in India or the US? Was it just casual dating or serious relationships?

I'm not in the US, so neither. Apologies, but it's rather difficult to explain. If you want perspectives specific to the US, hopefully other US posters can help you.

[AVarma]

Then it should not be a problem as long as you make that clear. However there are a lot of stereotypes about Islam currently, so that will unfortunately affect you to a degree.

 

I'm not in the US, so neither. Apologies, but it's rather difficult to explain. If you want perspectives specific to the US, hopefully other US posters can help you.

 

Where are you? Britain? I'm assuming you're also Indian...

[Ruby Slippers]

I dated an Indian Muslim who had moved to the US for college and work. He was a good guy and seemed very serious, but I felt the cultural differences were too much of a barrier for us to last. However, he grew up in India and had only been here for a few years when we met, so I'm sure the cultural differences were more pronounced than they would be in your case.

[LisaSmith_1970]

Yeah, I never dated my own. I have certain preferences, just like anyone else. Although, I find it odd that I'm usually getting hit on my a certain race, I'm not discriminating them by any means.

[USMCHokie]

I've only dated outside.

[AVarma]

I dated an Indian Muslim who had moved to the US for college and work. He was a good guy and seemed very serious, but I felt the cultural differences were too much of a barrier for us to last. However, he grew up in India and had only been here for a few years when we met, so I'm sure the cultural differences were more pronounced than they would be in your case.

 

For me it isn't so much the cultural differences as it is the family reaction. My family wouldn't be too pleased. I don't really care at this point but it could be an issue for her.

[No Limit]

Right now I wouldn't do it because, sadly, my mother believes tons of prejudices so I'd have to keep everything a big secret... *sigh

 

Perhaps when I move even further away, but this here's too risky. In the end she finances my own apartment and almost everything I ask for, so I'd lie if I say that I wouldn't feel bad using her trust. But would it keep me from forming a relationship with a black guy or a Muslim guy if I felt a conncetion? Nope, sorry mom.

[newmoon]

i (female) dated a muslim male. it was ok while it lasted (3 years), but there was a huge cultural divide. he was very *male* in comparison to US men and had to be the authority for everything. although i was more educated than him, had a home and career, etc. he still needed to feel #1 all the time. we broke up because he was cheating and he saw nothing wrong with having other women on the side. there were too many differences for it to have ever worked long-term and i'd never date outside my culture again. i just want a standard white guy. i really admire couples who can withstand the barriers and make something of interracial/intercultural/interfaith relationships. it is extremely hard to bridge the differences. it also makes a difference (i think) how immersed in the culture someone is - he was 50 and had only been in the US for 10 years, so his culture was a major part of who he was and he wasn't going to 'Americanize' at his age or release any of his values. he had a lot of hatred for the US and other countries too, which came out as the relationship progressed. our families were both very supportive though and got together a lot.

[d0nnivain]

I never dated outside my race. I never seriously dated outside my religion. I think I dated one or two guys who were Protestant rather than Catholic but otherwise no. It wasn't a deal breaker for me; it just seemed to work out that way. Culturally I dated a guy whose parents were immigrants. It annoyed me that after 6 months I could speak more of their language then the parents could speak English & they lived in the USA for almost 20 years.

[lil hoodlum]

Straight male here. I have dated nearly every color under the rainbow. Color/race really doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is what kind of person they are inside and how they treat me and others.

 

I do have a particular thing for latinas though. Must be because I grew up in South Texas and have alot of respect for their cultures.

 

I haven't ever seen any problems or experienced any difficulties for dating outside of my race. Although some "guys" don't seem to really like a white guy dating a woman of "their" race, but I could care less what others really think about that.

[MrNate 2.0]

I don't really hold any preferences either.

 

A beautiful woman that has the potential to make me happy has my full attention.

 

I don't care if you're white, black, asian, etc. If you vibe with me, you have a brotha interested.

[guest569]

My ex was from a different country. Same lack of religion and similar culture though. The way i see it is that every single person/family has their own culture, i like to find someone with a similar culture and values to mine.

[Diezel]

I have dated outside of my race and culture, all the time in New Jersey.

 

But one religion is adamant about not dating me, so I've kept myself from dating Jewish women.

[Shining One]

Atheist Indian male here. I've dated outside my race and religion almost exclusively. I grew up in the US, so my culture is American. While my parents would prefer me to marry a traditional Indian woman, they've accepted that I will follow my own path and have stopped trying to arrange marriages for me. I don't have any racial, cultural, or religious preferences myself, but I don't get along with anyone who tries to convert me.

 

 

I've faced quite a few difficulties here and there, but nothing insurmountable. I have been the secret lover to two women whose fathers would have disowned them for dating a brown man. I get rejected a lot for being Indian and I'm automatically outside most women's dating pools (on OLD, at least).

 

 

Most of the women I've dated were not American. Almost all of the experiences were positive.

[gaius]

I seem to end up with a lot of women who have deep spiritual beliefs. Either the hippie kind or the Christian kind. While I'm kind of agnostic. They've all been white so far but I'd be very surprised if I don't end up dating a black chick at some point. There's just not a lot of them near where I live. I think I run into maybe 1-2 a year.

[AVarma]

Atheist Indian male here. I've dated outside my race and religion almost exclusively. I grew up in the US, so my culture is American. While my parents would prefer me to marry a traditional Indian woman, they've accepted that I will follow my own path and have stopped trying to arrange marriages for me. I don't have any racial, cultural, or religious preferences myself, but I don't get along with anyone who tries to convert me.

 

 

I've faced quite a few difficulties here and there, but nothing insurmountable. I have been the secret lover to two women whose fathers would have disowned them for dating a brown man. I get rejected a lot for being Indian and I'm automatically outside most women's dating pools (on OLD, at least).

 

 

Most of the women I've dated were not American. Almost all of the experiences were positive.

 

Jesus... you'd think people in 2014 would be more open minded than this.

[GravityMan]

Plenty of people, myself included, have dated all sorts of different people, especially in progressive areas of the world. If someone finds you attractive and intriguing (and that someone isn't narrow-minded or bigoted), then that someone's probably willing to date you and see where it goes. Doesn't matter what your race, culture, religion, politics, etc.

 

But when it comes to going beyond the dating phase and into relationships, things like compatibility and just "getting" each other become more important. More often than not, the people that we connect well with and relate well with are similar culturally and socioeconomically.

[AVarma]

Plenty of people, myself included, have dated all sorts of different people, especially in progressive areas of the world. If someone finds you attractive and intriguing (and that someone isn't narrow-minded or bigoted), then that someone's probably willing to date you and see where it goes. Doesn't matter what your race, culture, religion, politics, etc.

 

But when it comes to going beyond the dating phase and into relationships, things like compatibility and just "getting" each other become more important. More often than not, the people that we connect well with and relate well with are similar culturally and socioeconomically.

 

See this puts me in a difficult position since I'm not that attached to my religion. I enjoy the cuisine but don't really care if my future children speak the language or practice the religion. For that reason I always try to date white or hispanic women rather than muslim women. Unfortunately so far it hasn't been successful. I always wonder whether the failure is for cultural reasons or if it's just a normal breakup.

[Frank2thepoint]

So how many of you have dated outside your culture? Have any of you ever dated Indians or Muslims? How was the experience? Positive? Negative?

 

I've dated an Indian girl (not Muslim), I've dated a Bangladeshi (she was Muslim), even a couple of Jewish girls, mostly Christian girls, and several different nationalities (Asian, West Indian, Latin American, African-American, etc.), but I usually tend to go for Caucasian or Latina. I don't care about the woman's nationality, culture, or religion, as long as she is accepting of me as I am of her. I am not religious, and whatever eccentric beliefs I have, I do not peddle onto others, so I expect the same in return.

 

Some of them were positive, some were negative. In general, women of Indian, Muslim, or Jewish religious background were negative experiences for me, due to their ingrained cultural and religious connotations had affect on each woman and I jelling properly, even though I am open minded. My positive dates and relationships were Caucasians and Latinas of Christian background, or strictly atheist views.

 

 

As for the indians you know who dated outside their race were they born and raised in India or the US? Was it just casual dating or serious relationships?

 

I have an Indian friend, who moved down to Texas years ago, and he had a relationship with a red-haired Hungarian girl. It didn't work out unfortunately, but they were together for a year or two. His preference is redhead Caucasian women. He did date a redhead Irish girl in the past too, but that wasn't positive at all.

[E-Squared]

I am a Mexican-American male but I am open to whoever draws my attention. I almost dated a girl who is Mien. I am currently attracted to someone who is of my own ethnic background.

 

I don't have a problem with dating women of different ethnic backgrounds.

[losangelena]

I've dated all races, though I seem to attract mostly non-white men, and when I was dating a lot, most of them were latin men. I did go out a few times with an Indian American guy from a Muslim family. Not sure how serious he was about it—he does not eat pork—but he was pretty American culturally. I wanted to keep dating him, but he wasn't interested in anything serious. I don't know if religious differences would've gotten in the way.

 

My current boyfriend is from south India, from a pretty staunch Hindu family, who's been in the States just a few years. He doesn't practice (though he doesn't eat beef), but his family does not know about me and would be very unhappy if they knew he was dating a white girl. I personally don't mind that he's not ready to tell them (we've only been dating about four months), or if they disapprove, though I would be upset if their opinions swayed his decisions about me.