musicalsteve82 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I did after six months, but I heard that was normal. It was only two or three per month... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I did after six months, but I heard that was normal. It was only two or three per month... Maybe it's just me but I feel like 2-3 fights a month after a mere 6 months is very excessive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author musicalsteve82 Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 Maybe it's just me but I feel like 2-3 fights a month after a mere 6 months is very excessive. Well, it wasn't really fights. I unintentionally angered her and apologized for it. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 ditto the six month mark. fights (usually) start about then ime Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I don't think it's normal at all. I was with one EX for 12 years. We may have had 2-3 fights in all that time. I have been married for over 6 years & with my husband for 8.5. We have had 2 major fights. One when we were dating . . . maybe about 4 months in and 1 during our 2nd year of marriage. That is not to say we never disagreed but that we don't have knock down drag outs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author musicalsteve82 Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 I should have worded it this way: when did you start to annoy/anger your partner, or when did you partner start to annoy/anger you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author musicalsteve82 Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I suppose that would be a quite different than fighting, yes? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I should have worded it this way: when did you start to annoy/anger your partner, or when did you partner start to annoy/anger you? Re-phrase again: When did you start to annoy/anger your partner, and when did you permit your partner's behaviour to annoy/anger you? I get the impression that you expect things to fall into set patterns and that any demonstration of human traits, bothers you, but you're not willing to consider that you are in any way responsible for what you input.... That's the impression I get. Relationships are not painting-by-numbers, set-pattern situations. Everyone is different. I know one couple who would often have really quite vocal spats regarding some really trivial things, and one day, chatting to the wife about it, we began discussing fights/arguments in relationships, and she confessed that she and her H loved make-up sex..... half the reason they fell out so dramatically, was the foreplay..... After that, every time I witnessed their humdinger arguments, I couldn't help visualising the passion to follow.... It made me laugh, then..... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 If my partner's behavior started to annoy me & it wasn't something temporary like I had a headache & hated the whole world at that moment, I tended to end those relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Fighting never has to happen if both partners are mature, respectful, empathetic and open about their thoughts/feelings. Fighting tends to happen when one or both partners are lacking one or more of those elements. My first boyfriend and I were together for a bit over a year and never had a single fight, even though we sometimes disagreed on things or accidentally hurt/offended each other. My second boyfriend and I fought frequently, and some of the fights were on par with a Jerry Springer throw down. In my opinion if a couple is fighting (yelling, insulting, getting revenge, projecting, passive-aggression, etc) then they need to figure out why they are fighting. And why they are fighting doesn't mean who committed the first offense, or the topic of the argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Damaged217 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 6 months in seems pretty accurate. I think arguments are completely normal. Fighting is another story. My boyfriend and I argue over stupid, little things all of the time, but that's what happens when you live together. We get over these things super quickly. Yelling, screaming, cursing and what not is NOT normal and those are things one should not tolerate in a relationship, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I'd say all great relationships whether friendship or love go through 3 distinct phases: Norming: the expectations for the relationship are set. People start getting close to each other and begin to feel more comfortable with one another. Storming: the storming stage is filled with conflict. It can be for any amount of reasons. This stage is when people start to get frustrated with one another. Discomfort sets in and people may grow apart. Lines have been crossed and the norms are no longer accepted by individuals. Reforming: The reforming stage is the result of active engagement in the storming stage. This is when you talk out your problem. Most likely this will result in a backtrack on the relationship. For a while, but then new expectations and norms are set based on the previous experiences of the relationship. The relationship gators stronger because all the previous worries and discomforts were made aware during the storming phase. Some relationships go through all three pretty fast, others slow. The failed relationships don't make It past the storming phase. Each relationship is different and moves through this process differently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Disagreements, to a greater or lesser extent, tend to occur between around 4-6 months for me. It starts at the time where you both start to let your guard down a tiny bit and don't try to present your 100% best self to your partner every minute of the day. However, proper full-on fights? Well, in past relationships of any length (a year or more), I've always ended up in fights which were full of shouting, screaming, crying, punching the walls (him, not me)... occasional name-calling. I thought it was just normal and the way things were in any relationship. I was wrong. Current relationship of nearly a year, we have never had an argument that vicious and I can't imagine either of us going there. Maybe we will but it's taught me that sometimes, harmony and peace and calm between you both is possible for the vast majority of the time. The relationships full of vicious arguments just meant we weren't right for one another. I didn't know it because it was all I'd ever known. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 @OP...Then the end is nigh as they say. This is what happens once the initial infatuation and sex is over, reality kicks in and stuff start to reveal themselves and that pretty thing you are with becomes not so pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
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