Prettiest girl Ive gone on a date with doesnt think she's pretty.

[Trenton100]

This drives me crazy. I think she is. I've told her how pretty she is. She sends a picture of herself now and then (nothing sexual which I like) and I always compliment. But then I get the "I'm not used to being told that" or "oh stop". I like the fact she doesn't flaunt and dresses in a normal fashion, but if I think you're pretty and you keep sending pics, what else do you expect me to say?

 

She really is in my view too. I'm not kidding. She's natural and doesn't go crazy with makeup or anything like that. She says the reasons she likes me is because I'm nice, cute and think she's pretty.

 

And when I say here the prettiest girl I've ever been on a date with, I mean it.

 

Bonkers.

[Omei]

She prob knows shes pretty and fishes for compliments esp if she keeps sending pictures.

 

Or maybe she has low self esteem on her looks and she needs reassurance often (a lot of girls do)

 

Or she just needs the assurance from you so she can feel good when shes around you and have a little more confidence

[Trenton100]

She prob knows shes pretty and fishes for compliments esp if she keeps sending pictures.

 

Or maybe she has low self esteem on her looks and she needs reassurance often (a lot of girls do)

 

Or she just needs the assurance from you so she can feel good when shes around you and have a little more confidence

 

Last pic she sent I asked "are you trying to get me worked up?

 

Her response was "yup".

[Omei]

Last pic she sent I asked "are you trying to get me worked up?

 

Her response was "yup".

 

then shes flirting with you

[Trenton100]

then shes flirting with you

 

Thank God.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Trenton100

[apedrerov]

She seems quite annoying. I hope she is not older than 16.

[spanishchick00]

Sounds like she has some self-esteem issues. Maybe she use to be an "ugly duckling" and was picked on in school. Who knows. Its happens to alot of girls and when someone compliments them, they don't believe them.

[elaine567]

"receiving praise from others when we feel negatively about ourselves elicits discomfort because it conflicts with our existing belief system. If we believe we’re truly undesirable, hearing compliments about how attractive we are will feel jarring and inauthentic" -Why Some People Hate Receiving Compliments

 

Why Some People Hate Receiving Compliments | Psychology Today

[Erised]

I have some self image issues, and it makes me uncomfortable if someone is overly complimentary about my looks.

 

I recognize others do not see me the way I see myself, and try not to be rude in response to compliments, but know that nothing you say can ever change how she sees herself. That is something she works through or doesn't, and has very little to do with her objective attractiveness.

[Trenton100]

She seems quite annoying. I hope she is not older than 16.

 

She's in her mid 30's.

[aggie382]

If she sincerely didn't think she was pretty, she wouldn't be sending you pictures.

[Trenton100]

If she sincerely didn't think she was pretty, she wouldn't be sending you pictures.

 

I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens.

[aggie382]

I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens.

 

It sounds like you're easily manipulated.

[Trenton100]

It sounds like you're easily manipulated.

 

It sounds like I dont really know this person too well so I'm not going to judge. But thanks anyway.

[KatZee]

"receiving praise from others when we feel negatively about ourselves elicits discomfort because it conflicts with our existing belief system. If we believe we’re truly undesirable, hearing compliments about how attractive we are will feel jarring and inauthentic" -Why Some People Hate Receiving Compliments

 

Why Some People Hate Receiving Compliments | Psychology Today

 

This.

 

I do this on occasion. I will have strangers on the train look at me and compliment me and every. single. time. I go, "oh stoppp ittt."

 

I don't do this because I think negatively about myself. Not at all.

 

However I've had comments like: "You're comsmopolitan beautiful!" "You look like a celebrity!" And inwardly I'm rolling my eyes. Like stoopp ittt. I don't think I'm UGLY but I also don't perceive myself to be that gorgeous to get comments like that. Maybe they think I am, but what also contributes is the fact I was bullied A LOT during junior high school. I was made fun of for everything. My frizzy hair, I had a space between my front teeth and didn't have braces yet, my teenage hormonal acne skin, my clothes. I would get comments like "Who would kiss her look at her teeth!" I was called mop head, zit face. Kids are CRUEL. I never had a guy interested in me, never had a boyfriend, nothing.

 

So when I got past those years I was left with a lot of insecurity. It took many years to even be able to look at myself in the mirror and go, "you look really good today!"

 

I wouldn't automatically assume she's fishing for compliments. When I say, "ohhh stoppp it." It's not because I'm fishing for anything. I just think their comments are kind of ridic!

 

Then again, I've had a friend say to me, "You're a lot prettier than you think you are." So perhaps I don't quite see myself the way the rest of the world does.

Edited December 22, 2014 by KatZee

[Trenton100]

All I know is if this doesn't pan out, I am 100% through with OLD. I've grown so impatient over this kind of second-guessing and flakiness. I have to join a forum to get advice at this point when I'm freaking 40.

 

 

I'll take my chances the old fashion way. OLD is such a backwards, impersonal can of horse****.

[elaine567]

This.

 

I do this on occasion. I will have strangers on the train look at me and compliment me and every. single. time. I go, "oh stoppp ittt."

 

I don't do this because I think negatively about myself. Not at all.

 

However I've had comments like: "You're comsmopolitan beautiful!" "You look like a celebrity!" And inwardly I'm rolling my eyes. Like stoopp ittt. I don't think I'm UGLY but I also don't perceive myself to be that gorgeous to get comments like that. Maybe they think I am, but what also contributes is the fact I was bullied A LOT during junior high school. I was made fun of for everything. My frizzy hair, I had a space between my front teeth and didn't have braces yet, my teenage hormonal acne skin, my clothes. I would get comments like "Who would kiss her look at her teeth!" I was called mop head, zit face. Kids are CRUEL. I never had a guy interested in me, never had a boyfriend, nothing.

 

So when I got past those years I was left with a lot of insecurity. It took many years to even be able to look at myself in the mirror and go, "you look really good today!"

 

I wouldn't automatically assume she's fishing for compliments. When I say, "ohhh stoppp it." It's not because I'm fishing for anything. I just think their comments are kind of ridic!

 

Then again, I've had a friend say to me, "You're a lot prettier than you think you are." So perhaps I don't quite see myself the way the rest of the world does.

 

The ugly duckling turned into a swan.

[KatZee]

The ugly duckling turned into a swan.

 

I guess that's what happened. My teen years were super awkward! But comments about my physical appearance do tend to make me feel slightly uncomfortable.

 

Also, OP--- OLD SUCKS!!!! It has nothing to do with your age. I'm 30 and feel the same way. It's a cesspool of crap. I notice that the same types of guys hang around OLD. The ones who need ego boosters. The ones who just want to be your pen pal. The ones who are perpetual bachelors. The complete psychos.

 

I have been on TONS of OLD dates, and I really can't think of one normal person I've met off it. I actually just had this conversation with someone, when you need to go to the bar to meet someone quality, you know the world has flipped upside down.

 

I think OLD is the new "bar scene." It's so easy to go online and find people willing to hook up, have casual things with and then move on to the next.

 

This is why my friends and I have deleted all OLD profiles. It's such a sad demographic on there.

[Trenton100]

I guess that's what happened. My teen years were super awkward! But comments about my physical appearance do tend to make me feel slightly uncomfortable.

 

Also, OP--- OLD SUCKS!!!! It has nothing to do with your age. I'm 30 and feel the same way. It's a cesspool of crap. I notice that the same types of guys hang around OLD. The ones who need ego boosters. The ones who just want to be your pen pal. The ones who are perpetual bachelors. The complete psychos.

 

I have been on TONS of OLD dates, and I really can't think of one normal person I've met off it. I actually just had this conversation with someone, when you need to go to the bar to meet someone quality, you know the world has flipped upside down.

 

I think OLD is the new "bar scene." It's so easy to go online and find people willing to hook up, have casual things with and then move on to the next.

 

This is why my friends and I have deleted all OLD profiles. It's such a sad demographic on there.

 

The funny thing is, besides being a decent looking, artistic metalhead nerd, I'm actually quite normal in regards to what I feel a relationship should be. OLD pretty much goes against my very nature in that regard. Time and time again I get fooled into thinking "maybe THIS is the real deal" but the results are always the same. Either people ghost or they end up being nowhere close to what they say. I feel like I've wasted so much time being genuine and honest in all of the wrong places. I'm not superficial. I'm not looking for a 10 because I am anything but. Now I wonder if you have to be an 11 just to have a chance on these sites.

 

 

The worst part is if half of the woman on there met me in person by chance, I probably would have at least some moderate success by now.

 

 

Too much is left to interpretation with OLD. I want the 90's back, where making that first phone call was exciting and meeting someone in person eliminated all of this pretense nonsense. But alas, it's 2014...the era of cellphones and self-indulgent people who couldn't socialize if you tattooed the relationship manual on their collective asses.

Edited December 22, 2014 by Trenton100

[KatZee]

The funny thing is, besides being a decent looking, artistic metalhead nerd, I'm actually quite normal in regards to what I feel a relationship should be. OLD pretty much goes against my very nature in that regard. Time and time again I get fooled into thinking "maybe THIS is the real deal" but the results are always the same. Either people ghost or they end up being nowhere close to what they say. I feel like I've wasted so much time being genuine and honest in all of the wrong places. I'm not superficial. I'm not looking for a 10 because I am anything but. Now I wonder if you have to be an 11 just to have a chance on these sites.

 

 

The worst part is if half of the woman on there met me in person by chance, I probably would have at least some moderate success by now.

 

 

Too much is left to interpretation with OLD. I want the 90's back, where making that first phone call was exciting and meeting someone in person eliminated all of this pretense nonsense.

 

Yeah, I'm normal too. I've heard stories from guys I've gone on dates with that women have turned out to be complete psychos, or 70 pounds heavier than what their picture showed, or just nothing like what they portrayed at all.

 

And then I've been super confused when these guys have ghosted on me, turned me into a text buddy... like, I'm normal! Why isn't this what these guys are looking for?!?!? Because they're NOT. They want the drama. Or they think they can do even better (your statement of needing to be an 11). I think once a guy has experienced a woman who is a "supermodel" they don't even waste time on regular girls. They always think they can do better, and with OLD it's very easy to go on to the next. Always options.

 

Except these options are never quality. I've not met one quality male from OLD. I would rather meet someone organically. Through friends, out somewhere. It's just very hard when I'm working all the time... but I have to say OLD doesn't cut it for me. A lot of people praise it, say it works, but I haven't had that luck.

[Trenton100]

Yeah, I'm normal too. I've heard stories from guys I've gone on dates with that women have turned out to be complete psychos, or 70 pounds heavier than what their picture showed, or just nothing like what they portrayed at all.

 

And then I've been super confused when these guys have ghosted on me, turned me into a text buddy... like, I'm normal! Why isn't this what these guys are looking for?!?!? Because they're NOT. They want the drama. Or they think they can do even better (your statement of needing to be an 11). I think once a guy has experienced a woman who is a "supermodel" they don't even waste time on regular girls. They always think they can do better, and with OLD it's very easy to go on to the next. Always options.

 

Except these options are never quality. I've not met one quality male from OLD. I would rather meet someone organically. Through friends, out somewhere. It's just very hard when I'm working all the time... but I have to say OLD doesn't cut it for me. A lot of people praise it, say it works, but I haven't had that luck.

 

 

I'll even toss dating in general in here. Sometimes I wonder if dating is something I'm terrible at, or just find preposterous.

 

 

When I met my ex-wife, I was in college. All that happened is we started talking and in a week, we were it. We didn't have to "date". We just got along and were excited to see each other. We lasted 14 years and I doubt if we dated first, it would have changed anything. It just happened. Sure, times got tough in the end and we grew apart (still best friends though) but it was simple and genuine. Neither one of us had to second guess or worry about multi-dating or any of this pretentious crap. That's how it was. That's how people fell in love. That's what I miss.

 

 

It will never happen with OLD because at my core, I realize how much I'm disgusted by it. And you're right about text buddies. God I'm tired of this ****.

 

 

Whew. That felt great!

Edited December 22, 2014 by Trenton100

[AVarma]

The ugly duckling turned into a swan.

 

I wasn't expecting poetry when I registered at Loveshack.

[KatZee]

I'll even toss dating in general in here. Sometimes I wonder if dating is something I'm terrible at, or just find preposterous.

 

 

When I met my ex-wife, I was in college. All that happened is we started talking and in a week, we were it. We didn't have to "date". We just got along and were excited to see each other. We lasted 14 years and I doubt if we dated first, it would have changed anything. It just happened. Sure, times got tough in the end and we grew apart (still best friends though) but it was simple and genuine. Neither one of us had to second guess or worry about multi-dating or any of this pretentious crap. That's how it was. That's how people fell in love. That's what I miss.

 

 

It will never happen with OLD because at my core, I realize how much I'm disgusted by it. And you're right about text buddies. God I'm tired of this ****.

 

 

Whew. That felt great!

 

 

Same here! My entire "relationship career" I've never actually "dated." I would just meet people, we'd get along, and very soon there after, we were a couple!

 

When I was dumped at 28, I had no clue what to do. I had never dated! I literally went on my first date around age 29. I am still clueless as to how this all works. It all feels so mechanical and there's so much effort, mentally, emotionally. I just feel very disconnected through the whole thing. It's like an interview and I hate it! I always feel so drained after the fact, and meeting people is something that should be fun.

 

And then like you said, you have to worry that the other person is talking to and seeing 4-5 other people and it's like a competition to get to the front of the line. I don't want to have to compete against anyone, I want to meet someone and have it be mutual interest from both ends.

 

I've seen threads on here talking about guys multi-dating and having 5+ girls on a string for casual sex. You just can't even trust anyone via OLD. I feel like so many people have their own agenda and they will NEVER be honest with you.

[Trenton100]

Same here! My entire "relationship career" I've never actually "dated." I would just meet people, we'd get along, and very soon there after, we were a couple!

 

When I was dumped at 28, I had no clue what to do. I had never dated! I literally went on my first date around age 29. I am still clueless as to how this all works. It all feels so mechanical and there's so much effort, mentally, emotionally. I just feel very disconnected through the whole thing. It's like an interview and I hate it! I always feel so drained after the fact, and meeting people is something that should be fun.

 

And then like you said, you have to worry that the other person is talking to and seeing 4-5 other people and it's like a competition to get to the front of the line. I don't want to have to compete against anyone, I want to meet someone and have it be mutual interest from both ends.

 

I've seen threads on here talking about guys multi-dating and having 5+ girls on a string for casual sex. You just can't even trust anyone via OLD. I feel like so many people have their own agenda and they will NEVER be honest with you.

 

Yep. Its backwards and counter productive to the cause. Dating feels like a shopping spree. The sites are window dressing. It even gets worse when you're actually on the dates! One date I spent about 100 on a dinner. Hey, I'm new too. I figured that's what I had to do. Didn't see her again. Another was 75. She drank the entire night and just left. She never even even talked to me. Just sat at the bar while I was thinking "what am I doing?" None of it feels right.

 

The multi dating thing is a mystery to me. I guess people who can do it have alot of money and time. I can't be talking to one person and then talk to another at the same time and feel ok. Its almost like some sick game, where people are manipulated and lied to.

 

None of that is anything I remember dealing with before OLD. I feel worse about myself now that I've done it. Like Im not good enough and not valued as a human being.

 

Its ridiculous.

Edited December 22, 2014 by Trenton100

[Popsicle]

Why worry about this? It sounds like you're doing good.