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Do guys really use dating sites to make new friends?


spanishchick00

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spanishchick00

So, I met up with this guy on okcupid for drinks. He told me that he just moved to the city and he said that he was looking to meet new people and make some new friends. It was ok, I decided to leave early, because I was already getting tipsy and had to drive home and was done drinking, however since he walked and lived close to the bar, he decided to stay there. On his profile it said he was looking for just friends. There basically nothing romantic or flirtatious about our meeting. Either he was really looking for new friends or I just wasn't what he wanted?

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"New friends" just means he is looking for women he can have sex with without getting into a relationship.

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spanishchick00

Really? Wow. I had no idea. I don't understand why they don't just put "causal sex" on their profile. I guess that's what I figured. I really don't use it for making new friends, I use for possibly dating someone.

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Let's not jump to conclusions here. He could really be looking for friends, I've seen it before on tinder. Trust him until he gives you a reason not too.

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MercuryMorrison1
Really? Wow. I had no idea. I don't understand why they don't just put "causal sex" on their profile. I guess that's what I figured. I really don't use it for making new friends, I use for possibly dating someone.

 

Lol I admit, I've never used OLD to make new friends, but I've also never used it for casual sex either.

 

For me I honestly do use it with the intent of dating and seeing if anything long term develops out of it.

 

But yeah I wouldn't totally condemn the guy...I mean I guess it's possible he really is just looking to make friends, but I would say 9/10 times making ''friends'' to most of these guy's OLD profiles actually means ''Friends with benefits''.

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There are all types of other sites out there to make friends like meetups and sport connections. People online putting 'looking for friends' are looking for 'friends with benefits'. He's looking for 'friends' but these friends have to be females right....

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i created a profile on a dating website when i moved to my new town. (it seemed like a good way to meet new people outside of work.) i specified that i was looking for friendship only. i meant it. and i was willing to meet, hang out with, and do touristy things with both sexes (i am straight). i ended up taking my profile down very quickly because no one believed that i was looking for friendship only. every guy i met up with acted like he was dating me. i found myself having to reject people i actually wanted to get to know AS FRIENDS. so, yes, the guy was probably telling the truth in his profile.

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HazyCosmicJive
There are all types of other sites out there to make friends like meetups and sport connections. People online putting 'looking for friends' are looking for 'friends with benefits'. He's looking for 'friends' but these friends have to be females right....

 

What's wrong with wanting female friends? I like having women friends because I like women. It doesn't mean I want to boink them.

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Ninjainpajamas

It kind of works like this...

 

Women - looking for friends;

 

When women look for "friends" it's basically guys that they are NOT interested in enough to sleep with or that they see long-term potential with...but she can essentially still serve some purpose in their lives so they may find you of some use.

 

She will look at this as a mutually beneficial relationship...a "friendship", even though most of the guys would sleep with her if the situation arose, if not all.

 

Men - looking for friends;

 

When men look for "friends" they're nearly almost always open to the idea of sex with you, but may not necessarily push for it or see an opportunity for it...they may not be the type of guys that have a ton of options right now, so they are just looking to open the possibility of more connections...guys do appreciate female friends, it's just that they usually end up wanting to sleep with them too at some point....assuming you are not extremely overweight or undesirable, but average is fine.

 

.........

 

Being that the guy just moved into a new city, it's likely he's trying to meet people in general...I don't think where he is at necessarily means he's on the prowl, since he's not too familiar with his surroundings and what exactly there is to do, his priority might be to just explore and get to know people, and honestly may not want to hamper himself down by just jumping into a relationship...men do want to avoid relationships more often than they want to avoid casual sex.

 

I've met women in OLDing as "friends"...I didn't cross the boundaries, but I'm one of the weirdos that likes talking to women about relationships and other things, hence my strong presence on LS.

 

However, I've been in situations where although we met as "friends"...I was asked things fairly quickly like;

 

- "So, you don't find me attractive? you haven't made a move yet"

- "Don't you want to at least try and kiss me?"

- "Are you interested in me at all?, am I not your type?"

 

These were women that engaged me, and specifically told me that they just wanted to meet as "friends"...so I just met them under that agreement, I "disarmed" myself before going into the situation. I wasn't trying to get in their pants, I wasn't judging them as relationship material, or necessarily romantic interest...I wasn't going to feel rejected by them if they weren't interested, as I wasn't even attempting to be flirtatious or make a move, it was an entirely different "mode" for me...but I got judged for it, judged for not making more of a move, and my motives questioned because I do NOT make a move.

 

So f**k me, I was willing to play by the rules and just enjoy a woman's company without the expectations or pressure for more...but the rules changed on me, without my knowledge. Of course, this was before I completely understood what was going on here, but now I get it.

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If it's on his proflie? I'd say that is his strategy, is networking. If he whipped it out during the date, then it's the tried and true "Let's just be friends" line.

 

Frankly, from here it sounds like he's so beaten down by the existential hopelessness of O.L.D. that he is just trying to get someone - anyone - to have dinner with him. But people join OKCupid for a reason.

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Alright guys, let's be honest here.

 

We know what he meant by "Just friends". Seriously. You don't go on OKC to meet a female friend. You go there to meet a FWB or a FB, or anything that could eventually turn into something sexual without all of the strings attached.

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As the many cynics here say, he could just be looking for sex, for fwb, or a **** buddY. Or he could really just be looking for women to hang out with one on one. Especially if he's new in town and doesn't know anyone.

 

Or, he could be looking to get to know some women without any pressure, and perhaps see if anything comes from any of those "friendships" that develop.

 

If you really want to find out, try seeing him some more. You have no way of knowing at this point.

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i created a profile on a dating website when i moved to my new town. (it seemed like a good way to meet new people outside of work.) i specified that i was looking for friendship only. i meant it. and i was willing to meet, hang out with, and do touristy things with both sexes (i am straight). i ended up taking my profile down very quickly because no one believed that i was looking for friendship only. every guy i met up with acted like he was dating me. i found myself having to reject people i actually wanted to get to know AS FRIENDS. so, yes, the guy was probably telling the truth in his profile.

 

you are female?

 

The guys may have taken your "friendship" wish as a challenge. You might have had a flock of suitors had you kept at it with them! Or you might actually have made some friends. Don't know.

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Well, since the meeting apparently went OK as meetings go and he didn't engage in any creepy behavior, if you enjoyed the meeting see where it goes. I look at such matters this way - Keep showing up until having a reason not to or are turned down (rejected).

 

Regarding the thread title, anything is possible. Personally, I'd use, if using online resources, hobby forums or meetup sites to meet new people and grow platonic friendships but that's one preference of billions. This guy may simply be more comfortable in the dating site milieu, whatever his motivations are. It's unknown.

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you are female?

 

The guys may have taken your "friendship" wish as a challenge. You might have had a flock of suitors had you kept at it with them! Or you might actually have made some friends. Don't know.

 

yes, i am female. there were a few guys i met that i have tried to keep as friends, despite closing my account. two in particular still act like they are dating me, despite my protestations and the fact that NOTHING physical has or will happen. by now, i just act like i don't notice...

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yes, i am female. there were a few guys i met that i have tried to keep as friends, despite closing my account. two in particular still act like they are dating me, despite my protestations and the fact that NOTHING physical has or will happen. by now, i just act like i don't notice...

 

ah, drive them crazy, they are asking for it!

 

You might even find yourself changing your mind about someone.

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acrosstheuniverse

Dude, why were you driving once you started to feel tipsy? That's surely not legal in your country?

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Let's not jump to conclusions here. He could really be looking for friends, I've seen it before on tinder. Trust him until he gives you a reason not too.

 

A man looking for friends on Tinder? How many homosexual friends do you have jab116.

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LookAtThisPOst

I get a kick out of how people attempt to use online dating sites for what it WASN'T intended for.

 

There was even this married chick that was looking for "friends" on OK Cupid, her husband knew she was on the site and admitted that they were NOT swingers....so I thought something was fishy about all that.

 

 

So, I met up with this guy on okcupid for drinks. He told me that he just moved to the city and he said that he was looking to meet new people and make some new friends. It was ok, I decided to leave early, because I was already getting tipsy and had to drive home and was done drinking, however since he walked and lived close to the bar, he decided to stay there. On his profile it said he was looking for just friends. There basically nothing romantic or flirtatious about our meeting. Either he was really looking for new friends or I just wasn't what he wanted?
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A man looking for friends on Tinder? How many homosexual friends do you have jab116.

 

Not men, women. I've talked to women on tinder who are just looking to meet new people quickly.

 

What does a persons sexual orientation have to do with this?

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Not men, women. I've talked to women on tinder who are just looking to meet new people quickly.

 

What does a persons sexual orientation have to do with this?

 

You mean women who want to have sex quickly. Any woman who says on Tinder she's not looking for a hookup is telling you she wants to get laid.

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Not men, women. I've talked to women on tinder who are just looking to meet new people quickly.

 

What does a persons sexual orientation have to do with this?

 

Tinder tends to have ridiculously attractive women on there. I figure if a man wants to be only friends with them he must be gay. My attempt at sarcasm.

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Tinder tends to have ridiculously attractive women on there. I figure if a man wants to be only friends with them he must be gay. My attempt at sarcasm.

 

Oh ****, I just reread it and saw the sarcasm. I laughed pretty hard at that, my bad brother.

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