Third Date

[Supernatural]

Hey all. It's been awhile since I was last here! And I need some perspective.

 

I've been on 3 dates with this woman and all of them have been really good. We have both stated mutual 'like' during the dates and kissed/made out, on all 3; even in public places - restaurants.

 

This last past Wednesday I took her out for her birthday. I had bought her a Amaryllis flower and took her out for dinner. After dinner we cruised around the city and ended up parking by the marina where we made out in the vehicle like teenagers for about an hour or so, and there was intimate passionate touching.

After the marina I drove her home where we parted ways.

 

Earlier in the night at the restaurant I suggested a 4th date idea to paint and watch a nightmare before Christmas. She was enthusiastic about this idea. A tad bit after I told her I would be free Friday (tonight) and she told me she had plans with a guy friend and she would let me know another time when she was free - not suggesting a day or date.

 

When I dropped her off at her place we kissed more and I told her I liked her and definitely want to see her again. She seemed keen on the idea also. I told her again to "Let me know when you're free" and she said she would.

After the date she text me that she had a really great time with me. I told her I did also and wished her sweet dreams. That was Wednesday at 12:13am.

 

Now... I haven't heard from her since. And I'm assuming I won't tonight. So that's 2 full days!

 

Is she not interested in a 4th date? Or am I just being a little too emotional and over thinking too much?

 

She's 28.

I'm 26.

[spiderowl]

Hey all. It's been awhile since I was last here! And I need some perspective.

 

I've been on 3 dates with this woman and all of them have been really good. We have both stated mutual 'like' during the dates and kissed/made out, on all 3; even in public places - restaurants.

 

This last past Wednesday I took her out for her birthday. I had bought her a Amaryllis flower and took her out for dinner. After dinner we cruised around the city and ended up parking by the marina where we made out in the vehicle like teenagers for about an hour or so, and there was intimate passionate touching.

After the marina I drove her home where we parted ways.

 

Earlier in the night at the restaurant I suggested a 4th date idea to paint and watch a nightmare before Christmas. She was enthusiastic about this idea. A tad bit after I told her I would be free Friday (tonight) and she told me she had plans with a guy friend and she would let me know another time when she was free - not suggesting a day or date.

 

When I dropped her off at her place we kissed more and I told her I liked her and definitely want to see her again. She seemed keen on the idea also. I told her again to "Let me know when you're free" and she said she would.

After the date she text me that she had a really great time with me. I told her I did also and wished her sweet dreams. That was Wednesday at 12:13am.

 

Now... I haven't heard from her since. And I'm assuming I won't tonight. So that's 2 full days!

 

Is she not interested in a 4th date? Or am I just being a little too emotional and over thinking too much?

 

She's 28.

I'm 26.

 

It does sound a bit like she's cooling off and stepping back for a while. It could be she thinks it's going a bit too fast on the intimate side or that she's not feeling the way she expects to by a third date. Hard to tell without more information.

 

You are obviously interested in her physically at least. Guys can start getting a bit intense and possessive or controlling at that stage sometimes, which would explain her backing off a bit and not making a definite plan. She is taking back control. I'd back off a bit yourself but stay in touch with her in a friendly, warm way but not dominate her time, and see if she becomes more interested again.

[Supernatural]

It does sound a bit like she's cooling off and stepping back for a while. It could be she thinks it's going a bit too fast on the intimate side or that she's not feeling the way she expects to by a third date. Hard to tell without more information.

 

You are obviously interested in her physically at least. Guys can start getting a bit intense and possessive or controlling at that stage sometimes, which would explain her backing off a bit and not making a definite plan. She is taking back control. I'd back off a bit yourself but stay in touch with her in a friendly, warm way but not dominate her time, and see if she becomes more interested again.

 

 

I should have mentioned... On the second date we went back to her place after she invited me. We spooned on the couch and she suggested we go to the bed instead. We madeout there and she took off her shirt with bra still on, and hinted towards me at taking her pants off. I really liked her at this time too and I didn't want to go too fast, so I told her I should go home. I tend to lose interest if something more sexual happens withing the first 3 dates.. She offered for me to spend the night even just to sleep in the same bed. I declined in a respectful way and reassured her that I did like her before leaving.

 

I should also mention she just broke up with a long term guy 2 months ago.

[haribogumsnickers]

Back off a bit and just make other plans with your boys or plan b girl. She will probably get back to you after her thing with her guy friend. You're doing good just go with the flow.

[deathandtaxes]

I should have mentioned... On the second date we went back to her place after she invited me. We spooned on the couch and she suggested we go to the bed instead. We madeout there and she took off her shirt with bra still on, and hinted towards me at taking her pants off. I really liked her at this time too and I didn't want to go too fast, so I told her I should go home. I tend to lose interest if something more sexual happens withing the first 3 dates.. She offered for me to spend the night even just to sleep in the same bed. I declined in a respectful way and reassured her that I did like her before leaving.

 

I should also mention she just broke up with a long term guy 2 months ago.

 

 

 

She wanted the D!!!! And with the two months ago breaking up, you might be a rebound.

 

 

You brought up a good idea for a next date. Don't be so dang passive and say 'let me know when you're free'. Ask her out for a specific time and a specific day. You'll get your answer soon enough. Maybe wait a day or two from now to do it.

[Supernatural]

She wanted the D!!!! And with the two months ago breaking up, you might be a rebound.

 

 

You brought up a good idea for a next date. Don't be so dang passive and say 'let me know when you're free'. Ask her out for a specific time and a specific day. You'll get your answer soon enough. Maybe wait a day or two from now to do it.

 

I said 'let me know when you're free' because I suggested a specific date and time, then she didn't counter with another ideal day. So I had no choice but to say that and leave the ball in her court. Can't pester her with options.

 

I'm just curious why she hasn't been in contact. All the dates have been wonderful. It doesn't make sense to not be in a warm back and forth.

Then again... That could be the problem... Something really good too soon after a breakup of 5 1/2 years.

[InsaneTrombone]

I said 'let me know when you're free' because I suggested a specific date and time, then she didn't counter with another ideal day. So I had no choice but to say that and leave the ball in her court. Can't pester her with options.

 

I'm just curious why she hasn't been in contact. All the dates have been wonderful. It doesn't make sense to not be in a warm back and forth.

Then again... That could be the problem... Something really good too soon after a breakup of 5 1/2 years.

 

She might have just wanted a rebound / fwb after her breakup and after seeing how serious you are about everything with her, she's taking a step back - perhaps getting what she wants from someone else now.

[Supernatural]

She might have just wanted a rebound / fwb after her breakup and after seeing how serious you are about everything with her, she's taking a step back - perhaps getting what she wants from someone else now.

 

Hm. That would suck. If I don't hear back by tomorrow night, I think I will move on. And if she contacts after that, perhaps tell her I felt things went too cold and I will explore elsewhere.

[smg15]

Hey all. It's been awhile since I was last here! And I need some perspective.

 

I've been on 3 dates with this woman and all of them have been really good. We have both stated mutual 'like' during the dates and kissed/made out, on all 3; even in public places - restaurants.

 

This last past Wednesday I took her out for her birthday. I had bought her a Amaryllis flower and took her out for dinner. After dinner we cruised around the city and ended up parking by the marina where we made out in the vehicle like teenagers for about an hour or so, and there was intimate passionate touching.

After the marina I drove her home where we parted ways.

 

Earlier in the night at the restaurant I suggested a 4th date idea to paint and watch a nightmare before Christmas. She was enthusiastic about this idea. A tad bit after I told her I would be free Friday (tonight) and she told me she had plans with a guy friend and she would let me know another time when she was free - not suggesting a day or date.

 

When I dropped her off at her place we kissed more and I told her I liked her and definitely want to see her again. She seemed keen on the idea also. I told her again to "Let me know when you're free" and she said she would.

After the date she text me that she had a really great time with me. I told her I did also and wished her sweet dreams. That was Wednesday at 12:13am.

 

Now... I haven't heard from her since. And I'm assuming I won't tonight. So that's 2 full days!

 

Is she not interested in a 4th date? Or am I just being a little too emotional and over thinking too much?

 

She's 28.

I'm 26.

 

JMO but it sounds like you are being used because of her not offering to treat you and mentioning another man after being with you.

 

I could be wrong but a woman never mentioned plans with other men to me when we were out 3 times

[Supernatural]

JMO but it sounds like you are being used because of her not offering to treat you and mentioning another man after being with you.

 

I could be wrong but a woman never mentioned plans with other men to me when we were out 3 times

 

Well she said it was her friend 'victor' or something.

[Frank2thepoint]

I should also mention she just broke up with a long term guy 2 months ago.

 

Then again... That could be the problem... Something really good too soon after a breakup of 5 1/2 years.

 

You are definitely a rebound. She just wanted to have some fun with you, especially since she wanted you to take off her pants on the second date. She isn't ready for anything serious. If you are looking for something serious, don't even bother contacting her. If she reaches out to you, be friendly, have fun with her, and nothing else. Or just keep on trucking.

[Supernatural]

You are definitely a rebound. She just wanted to have some fun with you, especially since she wanted you to take off her pants on the second date. She isn't ready for anything serious. If you are looking for something serious, don't even bother contacting her. If she reaches out to you, be friendly, have fun with her, and nothing else. Or just keep on trucking.

 

She did say she went on 4 other dates since her relationship ended, prior to meeting me.

 

If I were a rebound... Wouldn't she easily send me texts and try to get me over to her place again? I mean, we do have chemistry... Why go cold after a great third date and not align a day that works to hangout again, even if she just wanted fun? It's not like our talks are all directed to seriousness.

[deathandtaxes]

She went cold cuz she's going out with other guys would be my guess. She's having fun playing the field. Frank2thepoint's advice is sound.

[Andy_K]

You missed an open goal by not having sex when she wanted it. That puts you down the pecking order so someone else gets a shot. It's entirely possible the guy 'friend' is another date, and she said she would 'let you know when she was free' in order that she could go out with this other guy and keep you waiting around as a backup. If it went well on the other hand, she wouldn't need to contact you again...

[Supernatural]

You missed an open goal by not having sex when she wanted it. That puts you down the pecking order so someone else gets a shot. It's entirely possible the guy 'friend' is another date, and she said she would 'let you know when she was free' in order that she could go out with this other guy and keep you waiting around as a backup. If it went well on the other hand, she wouldn't need to contact you again...

 

Damn. That sucks. I just wanted to take it slow because I really like her...

 

So chill back and wait for her to contact me? Don't call/text her?

[smg15]

Damn. That sucks. I just wanted to take it slow because I really like her...

 

So chill back and wait for her to contact me? Don't call/text her?

 

Sadly, men always have to be ready to have sex when the female is ready

 

So even if you thought u was doing the right thing by taking it slow she wouldn't care at all

[Diezel]

You took her seriously. That was your mistake and she was ready for you on Date #2.

 

Remember Ghostbusters, when they get asked if they are a God?

You are the Ghostbuster, and the God, and you always say "YES".

[aggie382]

Hi, I found this thread from Google. I'm kinda in this girl's shoes. I've seen a guy a few times, five dates. He's not moving things along the way I'd like him to. And there's another guy in the picture who I went out with who I said was my friend.

 

It sounds like you're not the only one she's dating. It's only been two days, so I would just be patient and let her figure things out. But don't change anything about what you've been doing. Don't pull back. Just be the same as you have been. Consistency will win major points.

[BluEyeL]

Just ask her out.

[Supernatural]

Okay. So earlier today I had to call her because I couldn't take it anymore. I had to break the silence.

 

I gave her a call and she answered on the 2nd ring. The conversation was oddly awkward and about 1 minute long. She divulged she was going snowshoeing with a girlfriend and wouldn't be home until the 26th. I asked her straight up if she was interested in getting together and she said she was really interested. Yet the conversation was awkward and the call didn't last long.

 

20 minutes later she calls back and says "was it just me or was that an awkward conversation?" I agreed and ended up saying 'honestly, I just like you a lot' and she replied with 'haha I like you a lot too'. She asked me when I would be free and I told her we could wait until she got back because it would be easiest. She said okay and we preceded to wrap up the convo. Right before the end , like a fool, I say "Just to let you know, I'm not seeing anyone else" she replied with "haha okay thanks for letting me know" and then a few seconds of silence, but didn't say the same. Then I told her to have fun on her trip. Hung up.

 

About 1 hour later I text her "I wouldn't mind seeing you before you leave, if you're free later tonight" then she responded with " honestly, my availability really isn't great today, errands then dinner party. I wish I was free though :)"

 

Thoughts?! Ami I just really into her and getting paranoid about nothing?

[aggie382]

^^ Her calling you back was a very good sign!

 

So knock all the rest off. Seriously.

[Supernatural]

^^ Her calling you back was a very good sign!

 

So knock all the rest off. Seriously.

 

Do you think she is seeing other people, or am I just misinterpreting her silence between dates as bad news? I mean... She could just be playing it super cool.

[BluEyeL]

Some women like the man to initiate everything in the beginning. I'm one of them.

 

She called back, which is a great sign. She agreed to meet. She said she liked you. You should have pinned down a day for when she comes back. When she comes back, go ahead and call her again, do not wait for her to make contact, and not so much blah blah, just ask her when she's free and pinpoint a day and a time. Then on the date, if you still like each other, tell her you want to see her again and again, pin down a day!!

 

Good luck!

[Diezel]

You're coming off as desperate. Knock that garbage off, man.

[Poppygoodwill]

She's reassured you. She called you back. She didn't have to do that. YOu're investing a lot in her and perhaps movign faster than she is, especially since she's just out of something serious.

 

So - signs are good. Now it's time to let the universe unfold a little. Let her go on her trip and **do not try to contact her**. Just leave it be on the last positive exchange. Then when she comes back *let her be in touch first*. YOuv'e made it very clear you're intersted. It's time for her to step up. So give her the space to do it. If he's not in touch within 36 hours of return, I'd say you can take that as a sign that she's just not that into you.

 

but if that's the case, you being in touch isn't going to change it. In fact, it'll only make it worse for you. Play it a bit cool here. Do your life, have your xmas with friends and family an;d try to put it out of your mind for a few days.