E-Squared Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 This is something that I thought about. Personally, I don't care either way what a woman listens to or what other people listen to, but I remember reading a profile on OkCupid when some girl said "Don't message me if you like hip-hop song." She said that she couldn't imagine getting along with someone who likes hip-hop considering that she was a metal-head, which is okay, but if you got along with someone who happened to like rap, you wouldn't want him around? You could simply tell the person not to play that music around you. Even stupider was when I came across someone who said that she wouldn't want to be associated with anybody who likes Katy Perry in anyway. Okay, I can understand if someone doesn't like her music. Katy Perry is not everyone's cup of tea. However, that is such a trivial thing not to want to associate with someone over. If you don't like the artist, just tell the person not to play the artist in your presence. Is that so hard? With me, I have an eclectic taste, but I am mostly into rap and R&B. I can understand if I were to play artists like DMX, Tha Dogg Pound, Mobb Deep or anything with that hardcore/gangsta style. However, if I listened to conscious rap or anything that wasn't related to stuff involving drugs or violence, like Nas, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common, Blackalicious, etc. then I don't see how that would be an issue. I remember this girl who I talked to in the past generalized that all rap was the same but then I tried to tell her that not all rappers rap about the same stuff, like some of the aforementioned artists who I mentioned. If I met someone who was into country, which was a style that I used to really dislike though still isn't really my cup of tea, I wouldn't care either way. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 It doesn't matter to me because I don't care all that much about music. However my BIL is a musician. He's "horrified" that I don't share his passion; he acts like I'm from another planet. lol I don't think I could have dated someone like him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AliOop Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 This has actually happened to me, too. I once dated a guy I had a big crush on and on our date he surprised me by taking me to a country western bar. I HATE, HATE, HATE country music and when I realized how much he loved it and listened to it constantly I knew we would never get anywhere. Country music makes my ears bleed. Of course, I imagine my music would've done the same to his ears. I had a LTR with a jazz musician who asked me "why is it that every time you put on music I feel like we should be sacrificing small children?" LOL!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted December 19, 2014 Author Share Posted December 19, 2014 This has actually happened to me, too. I once dated a guy I had a big crush on and on our date he surprised me by taking me to a country western bar. I HATE, HATE, HATE country music and when I realized how much he loved it and listened to it constantly I knew we would never get anywhere. Country music makes my ears bleed. Of course, I imagine my music would've done the same to his ears. Country music used to be a genre that I absolutely hated, but it's grown on me over the years, enough to the point where I not only tolerate it, but also I sometimes actually enjoy it. Of course, some of the stuff that I mentioned is kind of stupid when someone would rather not want to associate with someone who likes a genre or artist. It's like I said before, it's one thing not to like something, but not liking something enough that you don't want anything to do with someone who likes said thing is something else. I probably wouldn't listen to guys like Too $hort or 2 Live Crew around women, unless she likes those artists. I know how misogynistic rappers can be and I should know because I grew up on the genre. Link to post Share on other sites
AliOop Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 The man I've been seeing for the last few months really likes Jimmy Buffett, I can't stand him. I promised him that if he never subjects me to Jimmy Buffett, I will never subject him to Nine Inch Nails! Works for us Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I think it's great to meet and be with people who have different likes and interests including music. I mean, sometimes you don't know what you like until you're introduced to it. For me, I think I tend to be more interested in knowing WHY someone enjoys what they enjoy be it music or movies or books etc. Often times the people who have such distinct and defined tastes do so because it somehow fulfills a deep need or satisfies a feeling that isn't being met in other areas of their life. It speaks to them in some way. Learning about the WHY is super exciting to me but it doesn't mean that I will ever find the love for their specific preferences. What it does is help me understand THEM better and even helps me appreciate something I might have otherwise never have given the time of day. I LOVE that part! I'm such a curious person and I love learning about new things and how those things make people tick. As long as their is always respect for differing opinions there should never be any issues. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Damaged217 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I used to only date guys that listened to similar music as myself. For me, I felt like the guys who listened to my music were similar in personality to myself. I also just really love music and I find it sexy when a guy likes the same bands and I love going to see our favorite bands together. I've dated guys who listened to other genres of music and it was never a huge problem, but it would have been nice if they liked the same music. I have dragged my current boyfriend to concerts of my favorite bands and he just kind of stands there while I go crazy. That kind of bums me out. I wish he enjoyed them enough to dance/sing along with me. So now I only take friends who have similar taste in music. Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 I used to only date guys that listened to similar music as myself. For me, I felt like the guys who listened to my music were similar in personality to myself. I also just really love music and I find it sexy when a guy likes the same bands and I love going to see our favorite bands together. I've dated guys who listened to other genres of music and it was never a huge problem, but it would have been nice if they liked the same music. I have dragged my current boyfriend to concerts of my favorite bands and he just kind of stands there while I go crazy. That kind of bums me out. I wish he enjoyed them enough to dance/sing along with me. So now I only take friends who have similar taste in music. Well, I can understand having similar tastes. I remember my sister got more into a certain genre when she started dating her husband. I have been told that some of the time one person in the relationship could explore some new things and may get into that in the process. I don't expect a lot of women to like who I listen to. Lately, I have been listening to rap from the 1990s and 2000s. I don't know if anybody is familiar with Capone-N-Noreaga, Mobb Deep, Redman, etc. these days. However, I am open to whatever draws my interests. If she were to want to go see someone she likes, I would just go along with it. Maybe I might like it. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Its pretty important to me that my partner and I can enjoy and explore music together. I would never be so close minded to rule out a genre and use that as a deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 It kinda depends on how central to a person's life their passion is. I wouldn't be offended if a man said he couldn't date me because I hated football. If football was a huge part of his life, he lived and breathed it, he played it on weekends and went to matches and travelled to see teams, then I understand he'd want a partner to share all of that with. My passion is music, too. I mean, really really really passionate. Music's pretty much the most important thing in my life other than helping people (my career/voluntary work), I listen to it all day long, I travel far and wide for gigs and concerts, I play instruments, have travelled the world in bands and orchestras, studied it to degree level and so forth. A guy who wasn't into music would not be compatible with me in any way. Some people who aren't madly into music might not see that it's an important enough thing to rule someone out based on, but for me it is. I've tried dating people who weren't that into music and from the very start it just didn't sit right. I couldn't share my passion with someone when they sit looking confused or have nothing to say back at me. But I don't need to have someone who's into my music, the music I listen to, really. I would find it hard to click with someone who has no great interest in music at all, but if someone was passionate about any genre, then that's fine for me. It's good to learn from each other. My boyfriend is a musician, in a band and plays solo, writes songs, but his taste is quite different to mine. However, he's so madly into it, we click. Even a guy who is really into hip hop or country and western, as long as he has a great love for it then it's a love of music. But I would find it hard to date someone who just listened to whatever was on the radio, or to nonsense like Katy Perry. On dates the topic usually comes up, and I'm curious to ask someone what their favourite album, song, or artist is. If they say 'I like most music really, I have a very eclectic taste' but can't name a single album that's grabbed them in the last five years or a memorable show, it's the biggest turn off and I know I won't feel enough to see them again. If I wanted a partner who matched me 100% in every way (must LOVE music, must be nonplussed about movies, must enjoy reading, must love cooking, must want to travel but not for months at a time, must be career orientated, must volunteer) then I'd say it's unrealistic and tick boxy. But when there is something that's your greatest passion, I think it's normal to want someone to share in that. I would assume that a man with a huge love of art and artists would be turned off when I sit there and say I don't really see the appeal of most art. Each to their own, but I've never struggled. I've only ever dated musicians long term. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 (edited) For me, I think I tend to be more interested in knowing WHY someone enjoys what they enjoy be it music or movies or books etc. Often times the people who have such distinct and defined tastes do so because it somehow fulfills a deep need or satisfies a feeling that isn't being met in other areas of their life. It speaks to them in some way. Learning about the WHY is super exciting to me but it doesn't mean that I will ever find the love for their specific preferences. What it does is help me understand THEM better and even helps me appreciate something I might have otherwise never have given the time of day. I LOVE that part! I'm such a curious person and I love learning about new things and how those things make people tick. As long as their is always respect for differing opinions there should never be any issues. True and am guessing rap / heavy metal / punk will also be welcome then? Edited December 28, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed off topic remark Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Similar tastes in music could mean you're both moved or can relate to the same things. Also for some music is not just a taste, but a way of life. Link to post Share on other sites
nofeelings22 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Definitely. Too into counrty or hip hop (while also seeming to ghetto or redneck) are deal breakers for me. EDM, Hippie Bands or Top 40 signal I'll have more in common with them. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 This is something that I thought about. Personally, I don't care either way what a woman listens to or what other people listen to, but I remember reading a profile on OkCupid when some girl said "Don't message me if you like hip-hop song." She said that she couldn't imagine getting along with someone who likes hip-hop considering that she was a metal-head, which is okay, but if you got along with someone who happened to like rap, you wouldn't want him around? You could simply tell the person not to play that music around you. Even stupider was when I came across someone who said that she wouldn't want to be associated with anybody who likes Katy Perry in anyway. Okay, I can understand if someone doesn't like her music. Katy Perry is not everyone's cup of tea. However, that is such a trivial thing not to want to associate with someone over. If you don't like the artist, just tell the person not to play the artist in your presence. Is that so hard? With me, I have an eclectic taste, but I am mostly into rap and R&B. I can understand if I were to play artists like DMX, Tha Dogg Pound, Mobb Deep or anything with that hardcore/gangsta style. However, if I listened to conscious rap or anything that wasn't related to stuff involving drugs or violence, like Nas, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common, Blackalicious, etc. then I don't see how that would be an issue. I remember this girl who I talked to in the past generalized that all rap was the same but then I tried to tell her that not all rappers rap about the same stuff, like some of the aforementioned artists who I mentioned. If I met someone who was into country, which was a style that I used to really dislike though still isn't really my cup of tea, I wouldn't care either way. I agree with you. If I met someone who liked Katy Perry, I admit, that would be a turnoff at our age. But in the big picture, it's not that important if the other things are there. People will be as picky as their options allow. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 This has actually happened to me, too. I once dated a guy I had a big crush on and on our date he surprised me by taking me to a country western bar. I HATE, HATE, HATE country music and when I realized how much he loved it and listened to it constantly I knew we would never get anywhere. Send me his number! Seriously.. No it doesn't matter to me as long as I am not obligated to listen to the same radio all the time. Give a little, receive a little I suppose. Granted if I dated someone who constantly listened to punk 24/7, I couldn't take it. Im okay with listening to country music only when I'm alone in my car. It's what I do anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Coldplay and U2, no no no no. Mind you my tastes are subject to ferocious debate. Link to post Share on other sites
Atticus9292012 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Everyone has a thing. Music taste is hugely important to me, because I have a big connection to it. I played instruments and used to write a lot. I knew a girl like that about books. I guess we all have our thing. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I'm extremely passionate about music (being a musician myself), but I wouldn't say that a partner needs to have the exact same taste in music that I do. I'm pretty all over the place with what I like (I don't listen to the radio however so I'm not always aware of exactly what it popular in the charts). It would be nice to date someone who is passionate about music too, not necessarily the music I'm passionate about - maybe bonding over D'Angelo's new album . I personally like music that is either bright and beautiful, or dark and progressive (and beautiful ). I like some experimental sh*t too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spanishchick00 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Yes, I've had guys tell me they listen to country 24/7. I've never listen to country, nor will I ever. There's nothing wrong with country music, but is not my cup of tea. I doubt I will even get along with someone who listens to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 When I was a teenager, music was the defining criteria for finding someone. My first boyfriend and I loved the same type of music, it was sort of all we had. We would compete and try to find new music to show one another, it was fun. He was the only person with whom music was a big deal, relationship-wise. After we broke up I was afraid that I wouldn't find anyone with the same taste in music, and I never did entirely. My experiences with guys after were better. Although we didn't enjoy the same kind of music, they opened me up to other genres, and artists that I may not have explored on my own, and I imagine I opened them up to some artists as well. It definitely needs to be balanced in the car though - my ex loved a lot of mainstream stuff that I just couldn't get into. We took turns. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'm extremely passionate about music (being a musician myself), but I wouldn't say that a partner needs to have the exact same taste in music that I do. I'm pretty all over the place with what I like (I don't listen to the radio however so I'm not always aware of exactly what it popular in the charts). It would be nice to date someone who is passionate about music too, not necessarily the music I'm passionate about - maybe bonding over D'Angelo's new album . I personally like music that is either bright and beautiful, or dark and progressive (and beautiful ). I like some experimental sh*t too. I almost became a musician, but life threw some other things at me to digest. I also do not listen to the charts. My unfamiliarity with certain songs made people actually ask if I do not like music I am always exploring new sounds. my history made me listen to experimental (electronic) music a lot. Although I can appreciate a good commercial production too at times. As long as I am not criticised by my taste I am fine with it. Having some friends who share my passion is enough. I actually have a passion for certain books, movies, art and architecture, and love good food or drinking a nice glass. I guess I only would find it hard if someone I am with wouldn't be interested in any of it. I think I also would be a bit upset if I was judged because of any of these preferences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I also think that when you are younger, you cannot see what is important. When I was 23, I wouldn't have dated a woman who didn't know who a certain musician was, voted for a certain person, or didn't like a certain movie which I idolized. Of course, I couldn't get ANY women back then. But that didn't stop me from formulating dealbreakers based on my artistic and political viewpoints. I don't really think those things are too important unless you are really polar opposites. Even politics, which was probably the last domino to fall. I probably would marry a republican if she was a good woman, treated me well, and got along with my family. But again, if you have a plethora of options, you can be as picky as you like. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 True and am guessing rap / heavy metal / punk will also be welcome then? Sure. My teenage son is obsessed with rap/hip hop. My boyfriend used to be part of the punk rock scene and my best friend used to be a head banger. I can safely say that I dislike pretty much all of it but appreciate and respect their choice in music nonetheless. Does that mean I want or am willing to listen to an entire album? No thank you. Im fine with a bit of show and tell but then let's find a compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 As long as she has tastes beyond top 40 processed pop. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 dark and progressive (and beautiful Jackpot! Link to post Share on other sites
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