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Her dog peed on a $6,000 rug


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I met this girl a little over a month ago. From the moment we met there was awesome chemistry. We kissed about halfway into the first date and she was really into me. All of our dates/hangouts have been amazing up until the last one. Last weekend she seemed really distant and didn't talk a whole lot. She usually texts me everyday. I didn't hear from her for a few days so I decided to give her a call. 3 hours later I got a response from her saying that she had a lot of stuff going on and wasn't in a place to date.

 

A few weeks ago she got into a minor car accident and on top of that she's had to deal with the unfortunate fact that her dog peed on a $6,000 rug. After several meetings with the owners it was settled that she's have to pay half ($3,000) which happens to be all the money she has. She's also really hurt that the people threatened to sue her (she thought they were friends.)

 

I'm used to the the "I'm not in a good place to be in a relationship right now" text. But could this time be different? I know her life sucks right now and she's not BS ing me. I responded with "I'm sorry to hear that. If you change your mind let me know!"

 

Do women honestly ever break up with someone for this reason or did I most likely do something wrong? Do you think I'll ever hear from her again?

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todreaminblue

some rug huh.......if you really care for someone you handle the bad with the good......give her space...sounds like its rough going for her...she i feel would be grateful for your understanding and support...often its nice just to hear is there anything i can help with if there is let me know.....its sweet and caring.... and you will probably find your dates resume when she settles a bit..best wishes....deb.......

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Sounds like an excuse to me. If you didn't offend or mistreat her in the short time you two dated, then she probably just lost interest and used the minor car accident (wow, what a lame excuse) and dog-pee situation (which I don't believe) to distance herself from you because she's possibly lost interest.

 

I find it extremely hard to believe her dog-pee story only because the part about her having to pay $3,000 (half the rug's cost) is utterly ridiculous. If such a thing had happened, the owners would have just used a pet-stain remover spray or asked her to pay for the rug to be cleaned, which probably does not cost $3,000.

 

Are you sure she's being honest with you about the dog-pee incident? I just find the $3,000 far fetched.

 

To answer your question about women, yes they do use all sorts of excuses to break up with someone. The same goes for men. Some people are cowards and make up crazy excuses because they're afraid of hurting the other person's feelings, and because they don't want to have to feel guilty for dumping the other person.

 

The right person won't dump you when these sorts of things happen. If anything, they'll need you for the emotional support. They won't push you away. She did, so that tells me she's just not interested in dating you anymore.

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She wins the award for the lamest excuse of the year to stop seeing someone. Her dog peed on a rug? Hey, sometimes you have to get creative, I guess.

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if we assume she's being honest, then yes, it's a valid reason to not want to date someone any longer. the stress of your personal life is overwhelming and bringing a new person into that often doesn't work because your focus is elsewhere. i really liked a guy once, but met him three weeks before my dad died; i had to bail on a good thing because i just wasn't in a dating place. just accept what she says as true and find someone else while she sorts herself out. and if she comes back, great. if not, you've moved on.

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The rug issue has been going on for a while. The owners told her to use a cleaner to take the stain out. She tried but It just made it worse..apparently because it's a wool rug or something. She told me she was having rug issues during the 2nd date..she wouldn't of made it up. And as for her car, there's a huge dent in the drivers side. It happened.

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Well it's totally possible (and very likely) that neither is her reason given true nor did you do anything wrong.

 

Both are very true. I've seen the dent in her side door and she told me about the rug issue on the 2nd date which was probably 4 or 5 weeks ago..she wouldn't have made it up.

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It's doubtful that she's making excuses. She's probably extremely distracted and slightly depressed and feels that she wouldn't be good company. Maybe she'll come back around.

 

About the rug, shouldn't Homeowner's insurance cover that? Those people are jerks for making her pay that kind of money.

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Still, those are pretty bad excuses James22 for her to use to stop dating you. I mean, come on.

 

Who hasn't been in those situations while dating someone before? Once, during grad school I asked the guy I was dating at the time to feed my cats while I was at night class and do the dishes. Well, he fell asleep on the couch and forgot to feed my cats and forgot to do the dishes. One of my cats puked up dried food from earlier in the day which he didn't clean up because it happened while he was asleep. When I came home from class it was late, I was cranky. I yelled at him for falling asleep and he apologized. And, I didn't break up with him for falling asleep and forgetting to feed my cat, do the dishes in think sink or clean up the cat puke. I didn't break up with him because stuff happens, and the next time I asked him to do the dishes and feed the cats he did, no problem.

 

No one breaks up with someone because they get a dent in their car, or because they can't get a dog's pee stain out properly on an expensive rug. Just because she tells you about the rug issue, doesn't make it true.

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Do women honestly ever break up with someone for this reason or did I most likely do something wrong?

 

It sounds possible to me, so I wouldn't automatically assume you did something wrong.

 

Do you think I'll ever hear from her again?

 

Who knows? All you can do is to express your support during her rough time (which you definitely need to do and I'm not sure you have) and leave it alone, ie without expectations for the future until she contacts you.

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Who knows? All you can do is to express your support during her rough time (which you definitely need to do and I'm not sure you have) and leave it alone, ie without expectations for the future until she contacts you.

 

How? she doesn't want to talk with me...she broke up with me. If she wanted my support she would of kept me around. I think my best shot is to stay silent.

 

I already said "I'm sorry to hear that" and I really think that's all that needs to be said.

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She's also really hurt that the people threatened to sue her (she thought they were friends.)

 

A friend makes sure her dog doesn't pee on your 6000 dollar rug...

 

You break it you buy it

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Still, those are pretty bad excuses James22 for her to use to stop dating you. I mean, come on.

 

Who hasn't been in those situations while dating someone before? Once, during grad school I asked the guy I was dating at the time to feed my cats while I was at night class and do the dishes. Well, he fell asleep on the couch and forgot to feed my cats and forgot to do the dishes. One of my cats puked up dried food from earlier in the day which he didn't clean up because it happened while he was asleep. When I came home from class it was late, I was cranky. I yelled at him for falling asleep and he apologized. And, I didn't break up with him for falling asleep and forgetting to feed my cat, do the dishes in think sink or clean up the cat puke. I didn't break up with him because stuff happens, and the next time I asked him to do the dishes and feed the cats he did, no problem.

 

No one breaks up with someone because they get a dent in their car, or because they can't get a dog's pee stain out properly on an expensive rug. Just because she tells you about the rug issue, doesn't make it true.

 

i think you're partially right... in that no one breaks up because of a car dent or pee stain. but that isn't why she's wanting out. it is STRESS, and those two things are the causes of it/reasons for it. not everyone handles stress well, and certainly a new(ish) relationship doesn't fare well when someone is dealing w/personal issues.

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The rug issue has been going on for a while. The owners told her to use a cleaner to take the stain out. She tried but It just made it worse..apparently because it's a wool rug or something. She told me she was having rug issues during the 2nd date..she wouldn't of made it up. And as for her car, there's a huge dent in the drivers side. It happened.

 

Did they tell her that it was wool before she cleaned it? And how old is that carpet?

 

She should have asked to see a receipt before she gave them half of what they paid for it. It may have been old and worn.

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i think you're partially right... in that no one breaks up because of a car dent or pee stain. but that isn't why she's wanting out. it is STRESS, and those two things are the causes of it/reasons for it. not everyone handles stress well, and certainly a new(ish) relationship doesn't fare well when someone is dealing w/personal issues.

 

I agree with you that not everyone can handle stress well, and tend to use that as an excuse (is it ever a good reason though) to break up with someone, whether or not it's a new relationship.

 

I guess the silver lining for you James22 is that she's shown you her true colors and she's not someone you could rely on when life gets stressful if you were in a relationship with her. Best for you to keep trying until you find a woman who can handle life's stressors with a partner.

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Well the insurance is invalidated on the rug now anyway and nope, wool rugs don't clean well.

My ex-lodger tipped his sweet and sour chicken onto my cream wool rug when he was drunk one night.

The rug cost £200 less than the insurance excess so we took it to a specialist cleaner, it ended up in a much worse state. The cleaners did warn that the outcome might not be good.

 

 

A month in you probably don't know what other responsibilities and costs she has. She might have a credit cad she is paying off, we've also got Christmas coming up and this has all hit right at the same time for her.

If she gets her car fixed then if her insurance doesn't cover her for a courtesy car she will be without transport for a while.

She might need transport to get to work, for grocery shopping, for dates, for visiting the vet should her dog get sick, for visiting family and friends.

 

 

She probably feels like she can't validate the cost of going on dates even and if she is independent then she is unlikely to feel good if a man she has only known a month even offers to cover the cost.

 

 

I think you should leave her be, if she likes you then and manages to get back into a place where she feels more stable then she'll be back. I'm not saying you should sit it out and wait for her but she needs time to feel in a stronger position herself. She isn't leaning on you and doesn't want to make you feel at all used by having to lean on you in anyway.

 

 

The implications for her of what is happening could be further reaching than you're currently taking into consideration.

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Do you know what.

 

I don't think this has ANYTHING to do with you.

 

I think she would just rather you see her at her best rather than her worst...

 

I think you should phone her after Christmas and before the New year. Be friendly, up beat and ask her out to do something fun that costs next to nothing. Be inventive and say you want to cheer her up because you know she has been down.

 

Good luck.

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$6000 rugs are very good quality with a high thread count. I've seen some expensive rugs demonstrated. That high thread count means you can tip liquids onto them, even hold a match to them, and they will be completely unaffected. Such a good quality rug should simply wipe clean of dog pee, like water off a duck's back.

 

Anyone who owns a $6000 rug would surely have accidental damage insurance. Why didn't they claim through their insurance, asking her to pay the excess?

 

And why did they give their $6000 rug to someone who knows nothing about cleaning rugs, rather than getting it done themselves and asking her to pay the bill?

 

And if she completely trashed a $6000 rug, why would they settle for $3000??? If they are threatening to sue then surely it would be for the full value, or the maximum of the small claims court ($5000?)

 

The whole thing just doesn't add up.....

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What ever she says it's an excuse to stop dating you. If she can't handle the stress of having a dent in her car and being in debt for 3K she should stay home in a padded room.

 

Also, If her story is true then she handled it poorly. Like some have mentioned here this home owner had insurance and she should have never ever touched that carpet herself and call professionals. If someone had threaten to sue me I would have replied: Please do. We will solve that in court. That carpet would then have been evaluated and I would at least have paid the damages for their true value. A 10 year old wood carpet is not worth 3K with all the wear and tear it endured.

 

Anyway, all this to tell you let her go.

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$6000 rugs are very good quality with a high thread count. I've seen some expensive rugs demonstrated. That high thread count means you can tip liquids onto them, even hold a match to them, and they will be completely unaffected. Such a good quality rug should simply wipe clean of dog pee, like water off a duck's back.

 

Anyone who owns a $6000 rug would surely have accidental damage insurance. Why didn't they claim through their insurance, asking her to pay the excess?

 

And why did they give their $6000 rug to someone who knows nothing about cleaning rugs, rather than getting it done themselves and asking her to pay the bill?

 

And if she completely trashed a $6000 rug, why would they settle for $3000??? If they are threatening to sue then surely it would be for the full value, or the maximum of the small claims court ($5000?)

 

The whole thing just doesn't add up.....

 

Pete honey some of the old antique rugs are not at all like that... I know I had a puppy chew some tassles off of one... Thankfully the owner of the rug couldn't be bothered and thought it was funny... Dog still lives though it was a close call...! :laugh:

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Rugs are lame. I dont think id ever spend my $ on a rug =P

 

And if I let someone bring animals into my home its under the knowledge they can cause damage I have three cats that have ruined the carpet with their needing I don't care comes with owning a pet. Those people shouldn't have agreed to let her dog in, in the first place.

Edited by Omei
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