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Is this a dating red flag?


enchanted771

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I met this guy say 3 weeks ago online. We were chatting for 2 weeks nonstop and then last week we met and hit it off. Then we met for a second date this week. Usually we talk a lot during the day, etc. I don't know if he got in trouble for texting so much, getting behind on work or what but he told me last week that this week was going to be a busy week. The day we met we were texting normal and then after that poof! the texts were reduced by half.

 

 

I didn't think he lost interest because he was saying things last about how he didn't get to talk to me all day, and that he though of me etc. Then we made plans for next week.

 

 

He texted me good morning and that was it. I texted him late afternoon to say Hello and he didn't respond.

 

 

Should I back off from this guy or am I overthinking it? it seemed that he liked me, but when the communication reduces it makes me think he isn't interested anymore.

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I met this guy say 3 weeks ago online. We were chatting for 2 weeks nonstop and then last week we met and hit it off. Then we met for a second date this week. Usually we talk a lot during the day, etc. I don't know if he got in trouble for texting so much, getting behind on work or what but he told me last week that this week was going to be a busy week. The day we met we were texting normal and then after that poof! the texts were reduced by half.

 

 

I didn't think he lost interest because he was saying things last about how he didn't get to talk to me all day, and that he though of me etc. Then we made plans for next week.

 

 

He texted me good morning and that was it. I texted him late afternoon to say Hello and he didn't respond.

 

 

Should I back off from this guy or am I overthinking it? it seemed that he liked me, but when the communication reduces it makes me think he isn't interested anymore.

 

You wait for him to contact you again Period. He said things were going to be busy. You believe him. You don't know him well enough to assume he's lying or losing interest at this point. The ball is in his court now. He may or may not contact you again. If he does and some time has passed, you listen to what he has to say. Don't question him, don't be rude, just listen. If he seems sincere about wanting to see you again and you are still interested, you go out with him and gauge it from there. If you don't hear from him again, he lost interest.

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It's normal after we've seen each other a couple of times the daily communication are settling down. At first it's off the chart because men are in seduction mode, now that you've met and both know you like each other to date again there is no need for him to text his brains out.

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I met this guy say 3 weeks ago online. We were chatting for 2 weeks nonstop and then last week we met and hit it off. Then we met for a second date this week. Usually we talk a lot during the day, etc. I don't know if he got in trouble for texting so much, getting behind on work or what but he told me last week that this week was going to be a busy week. The day we met we were texting normal and then after that poof! the texts were reduced by half.

 

 

I didn't think he lost interest because he was saying things last about how he didn't get to talk to me all day, and that he though of me etc. Then we made plans for next week.

 

 

He texted me good morning and that was it. I texted him late afternoon to say Hello and he didn't respond.

 

 

Should I back off from this guy or am I overthinking it? it seemed that he liked me, but when the communication reduces it makes me think he isn't interested anymore.

 

I think that you should just go with the flow and see if he asks you out again. Texting, nonstop all day, is not going to be something you can maintain in the long run, so I'm not sure you can necessarily equate the drop in texting to lack of interest after only a month.

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It's normal after we've seen each other a couple of times the daily communication are settling down. At first it's off the chart because men are in seduction mode, now that you've met and both know you like each other to date again there is no need for him to text his brains out.
Thanks I hope your right. I am a very anxious dater. But when my texts are ignored for hours I start to think its something I did wrong. I am just going to give him space.
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I think that you should just go with the flow and see if he asks you out again. Texting, nonstop all day, is not going to be something you can maintain in the long run, so I'm not sure you can necessarily equate the drop in texting to lack of interest after only a month.
I believe we have plans for next week...he was hinting he was taking a day off and I have a day off...so I think that's what were doing.
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Michelle ma Belle

I don't know. It can go either way but speaking for myself, I've done the texting-non-stop-until-we-meet-up-and-now-I've-changed-my-mind thing. I really don't enjoy being a pessimist but at the same time but I think it's best to be realistic about things early on.

 

It could very well be that he's genuinely busy but it's more likely he's not as interested as before or even more likely (if he's still online) he has another distraction that's taking up a chunk of his time that used to be reserved for you.

 

As always, when someone is REALLY interested in you and really wants you in their life they will ALWAYS find a way to stay in contact no matter what. It really is that simple.

 

I think Redhead14 is bang on and that the ball is in his court now. Don't wait around for him. Go on with your life and if he's still interested in moving forward with you he knows where to reach you.

 

If anything, HE should be the one worried about missing his window with you.

 

Good luck!

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Thanks I hope your right. I am a very anxious dater. But when my texts are ignored for hours I start to think its something I did wrong. I am just going to give him space.

 

You have no idea if he's ignoring it. He may have seen it and couldn't address it at the time. He may be thinking about what to do. Maybe he got a series of texts about work or whatever and simply missed it. If he is going to keep in contact with you, he will. You need to stop putting so much emphasis on texting as a barometer for the relationship or your esteem.

 

Anxiety in dating is a killer. We all do it sometimes. Being anxious over texting is simply a waste of energy.

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It's normal after we've seen each other a couple of times the daily communication are settling down. At first it's off the chart because men are in seduction mode, now that you've met and both know you like each other to date again there is no need for him to text his brains out.
I was just confused because he was saying the other night all these things we should do together so it wouldn't make sense to talk about it if your going to lose interest in a day. But I am just going to have to see what happens.
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You never said what happen on your first date in person with him? Beside you were doing all the talking? Second if you had a good time why hasn't he text you back or even call you up. All this text, text and text. Good to talk for real at times. Right now best you hold back and wait and see what happens. If he text back, to be so quick to answer it wait a bit. Let him start to worry.

 

Also make sure there isn't anyone else beside you. Normally if the guy doesn't call you back or text you afterwards for a certain like there up to something. Unless you near this guy or work with him you can find out this.

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I believe we have plans for next week...he was hinting he was taking a day off and I have a day off...so I think that's what were doing.

Cool. He'll contact you to firm those up. Meanwhile, other fish in life to fry. He's one of billions out there and you're dating him to get to know him. No rush.

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You never said what happen on your first date in person with him? Beside you were doing all the talking? Second if you had a good time why hasn't he text you back or even call you up. All this text, text and text. Good to talk for real at times. Right now best you hold back and wait and see what happens. If he text back, to be so quick to answer it wait a bit. Let him start to worry.

 

Also make sure there isn't anyone else beside you. Normally if the guy doesn't call you back or text you afterwards for a certain like there up to something. Unless you near this guy or work with him you can find out this.

The date went very well. But anyways, if I don't hear from him, then obviously it wasn't meant to be. If he really likes me (as he claims) then it will show in his actions. Words mean nothing.
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It's normal after we've seen each other a couple of times the daily communication are settling down. At first it's off the chart because men are in seduction mode, now that you've met and both know you like each other to date again there is no need for him to text his brains out.

 

Agreed to a point....

 

I think this is like the thread I just responded in - which is, too much, too soon kills the mood.

 

But yea, when you first meet someone - you're gonna talk more cuz you're getting to know each other.

 

But, that's my fear about dating - that I'm gonna bore someone out of their mind. I'm usually quiet, stoic. After we get through the "getting to know you" phase, I think they're gonna either think I'm not into them and/or am a bore. Another reason why I've sought out FWBs. Nothing to talk about much with a FWB.

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If it happened for no reason, than it may be a warning. But you said he told you it would be a busy week, he is still texting you, and he openly expressed that he didn't get to talk to you.

 

You are over-thinking it. Wait and see what happens before you label it as something it isn't. :)

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If it happened for no reason, than it may be a warning. But you said he told you it would be a busy week, he is still texting you, and he openly expressed that he didn't get to talk to you.

 

You are over-thinking it. Wait and see what happens before you label it as something it isn't. :)

he actually called me...guess I over analyzed a bit. Guess after talking nonstop for 2 weeks it tapers down a little. He still seems interested.
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