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Dating shorter men? Stereotypes and outliers


tr123

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Hey everybody, first time poster here, mainly because I like the discussion people have on this board and had a burning questioning arise after a recent date.

 

Like any man who actively dates women, I've been rejected a lot - it's just a fact of life. However, being 5'5", I've NEVER been rejected for "being too short" despite my tendency to go for taller ladies.

 

This is something curious to me because I hear a lot of other men get this rejection all the time, yet I don't, even though I'm probably the shortest of anyone I know or usually meet. In that sense it's cool, but how can I ever know if it really is just my height if girls never tell me? I can be irrationally over-confident so that kind of knowledge would sure save me some time.

 

I think that when somebody asks a girl if she likes shorter men the immediate image in her head is your totally average, typical, short man - and all the mentality/confidence issues he has, which is of course unattractive.

 

My question is, if a short man is very handsome, totally ripped, unshakably confident and secure, knows how to talk to you, and has a personality type you generally go for, is it still a deal-breaker?

 

My own philosophy is that any girl who refuses to date shorter men simply hasn't met the right one yet, because if she had she'd never have such a limiting belief in the first place - but I've never heard any other solid NON-worthless beliefs so I'm curious to hear all about it.

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evanescentworld

Oh god, please, not this old chestnut AGAIN - ?! (Not your fault, I know....)

 

Look OP... read this thread, ok?

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Oh god, please, not this old chestnut AGAIN - ?! (Not your fault, I know....)

 

Look OP... read this thread, ok?

 

LOL OMG Evan, the VERY exact thought just crossed my mind, "Great, here comes another 20+ page thread that will just get locked up because nothing gets resolved"

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acrosstheuniverse

Nobody can ever be sure they're not being rejected for something they don't know about. Whether it's their career choice, height, hair colour, skin colour, bad breath, bad dress sense, status as an ex of a friend, parental status, religion... you get the picture.

 

Don't sweat it.

 

Typically, for me, if I get to know a guy first as a person and then end up attracted to him, it's not a deal breaker if he's a couple inches shorter than me (I'm 5ft 9). But a new guy on the scene, being shorter than me is a turn off. It's just the truth. Can't help what you're attracted to, although it wouldn't be enough of a turn off to not try dating a guy, it would definitely be a minus. Just like how if I was obese I'd expect a certain portion of my dating pool to be turned off by that enough to not find it an attractive part of me. Yes, I know you choose obesity generally but never choose height. But what you are and aren't attracted to isn't exactly something you have much choice over. You can, however, choose to overlook it and give it a shot anyway.

 

That's my problem, and my loss, not yours. Keep being your confident self.

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Aye, I'm 5'5 as well and have been rejected by a ton of women.

 

Would I have been rejected by the same women if I was 5'10?

 

I don't know.

 

I never will.

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I still need to read that original thread, but I would say that confidence makes up for many "shortcomings," no pun intended.

 

You may never know if it's your height or something else that turns women off. You can't do anything to change your height, so unless you're not getting anywhere with the ladies, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

For the record, I'm 5'7", and the guy I'm dating now is MAYBE half an inch taller than me. It was hard to get used to, because I'm used to dating men who are taller and bigger than me, and he is neither. Women like to feel feminine, and part of that is not being smaller than her partner. It's something that really weirded me out at first, but after a while, all his great qualities overshadowed that fact, and now I don't really think about it at all.

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Moderation stopping by to remind members to address the topic and in a civil and respectful manner.

 

Topics are often repeated on LoveShack and I note Robert closed that very long consolidated thread on height in dating and relationships and that was a general thread of discussion.

 

Here we have one person who identifies as 'short' and asserts their general success in dating and they are discussing their dating issues and challenges. Work *their* issue, specifically:

 

"My question is, if a short man is very handsome, totally ripped, unshakably confident and secure, knows how to talk to you, and has a personality type you generally go for, is it still a deal-breaker?

 

My own philosophy is that any girl who refuses to date shorter men simply hasn't met the right one yet, because if she had she'd never have such a limiting belief in the first place - but I've never heard any other solid NON-worthless beliefs so I'm curious to hear all about it."

 

No need or reason to generalize about dating and height. Thanks!

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Look, as long as he doesn't have an issue with his height, I don't.

 

I've dated shorter guys...

 

One of them, not sure if it was his height, but he was a dog. He was handsome, great body, very "confident" if you will. He also had a very, very good "member".

 

So, I don't know, maybe it was his "member" that made him a jerk. :p

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My question is, if a short man is very handsome, totally ripped, unshakably confident and secure, knows how to talk to you, and has a personality type you generally go for, is it still a deal-breaker?

 

That's a great question! I'm a guy so perhaps not the best person to be answering your question, but I have seen short handsome ripped men with attractive women (short and tall). I don't usually find out their confidence or personalities, but I do see them together. So, I'm fairly sure it's not a deal-breaker for some women.

 

If all of that is a description of you then... good luck with your dating!

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I don't really understand how you expect his question to be answered. The world is a huge place full of many people. Are there women who would not date a shorter man? Absolutely. Are there women who see height as something irrelevant? Absolutely. Are here women turned on by shorter guys? Absolutely. Don't worry about it, if heights important to a women it's important, if not so be it. It's not like you can walk around on stilts for the rest of your life to attract women. Just be yourself and don't stress, things will happen naturally.

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IDK dude, 5'5 is pretty short. My buddy is 5'8 and is attractive, rich, good personality, etc. and has a harder time. I'm 6'4 and although I've been committed for a while now, I think my height made it way easier when I was single.

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IMO this is one of those issues that is a bit different in real life (or at least real life as I know it) and LS. I know a few guys 5'5" and below and they've definitely had relationships. Heck one of them is almost down to 5'3", and he was pretty popular with the ladies back in college!

 

It's just like all the big-boob threads going around recently - I have smaller breasts but they've never been a dealbreaker for any of the guys who have been compatible with me, in my experience. You can let all these random opinions define you, or you can define your own path.

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