His friend started messaging me - how do I respond??

[RachR88]

Well I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I originally met a guy on a dating app and we ended up dating for about a month or so, but for various reasons it just fizzled out.

 

We haven't spoken now for almost 3 weeks, and since then I signed up to a new dating website and have been talking to/meeting up with different men.

A couple of days ago I received a notification that the guy I had been dating viewed my profile.

I didn't even know that he was on the website and hadn't seen him pop up before then, now I see him on there all the time and he has looked at my profile more than once.

I thought it was kind of strange for him to do but ignored it.

 

This morning I logged in to find that his work friend had sent me a message. I don't think either of them are aware I know they are friends (I only know through the cover photo on his facebook) and I don't think his friend is genuinely interested in dating me because he hasn't even looked at my profile to know anything about me. He's only seen my photo and only messaged after my ex has been viewing it.

 

The conversation has only got as far as 'hi how are you/how's your day been' - but what's the best way to deal with/respond to this situation??

I feel like the guy I was dating before is behind it all and is probably being shown any messages I send to him.

[Redhead14]

Well I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I originally met a guy on a dating app and we ended up dating for about a month or so, but for various reasons it just fizzled out.

 

We haven't spoken now for almost 3 weeks, and since then I signed up to a new dating website and have been talking to/meeting up with different men.

A couple of days ago I received a notification that the guy I had been dating viewed my profile.

I didn't even know that he was on the website and hadn't seen him pop up before then, now I see him on there all the time and he has looked at my profile more than once.

I thought it was kind of strange for him to do but ignored it.

 

This morning I logged in to find that his work friend had sent me a message. I don't think either of them are aware I know they are friends (I only know through the cover photo on his facebook) and I don't think his friend is genuinely interested in dating me because he hasn't even looked at my profile to know anything about me. He's only seen my photo and only messaged after my ex has been viewing it.

 

The conversation has only got as far as 'hi how are you/how's your day been' - but what's the best way to deal with/respond to this situation??

I feel like the guy I was dating before is behind it all and is probably being shown any messages I send to him.

 

So, what. You aren't committed to the first one and you haven't spoken for 3 weeks. You can respond to anyone you wish to respond to. Just be careful about how you respond. Be polite, interested (if you are), don't mention the other one. If the second one shows the first one, still, so what. If the second one baits you in some way, i.e. dirty messages,etc. to see how you respond and then show the first one, don't entertain the conversation and say you aren't interested in corresponding with him anymore.

 

You don't know for sure if the first one is behind it. It may simply be that his friend is dating . . .

[amaysngrace]

I'd go with your instincts here and just leave them both alone. Dating is hard enough...you shouldn't have to add paranoia to the mix before it even gets started.

[RachR88]

Thank you for your feedback!

 

If I'm honest, I did reply to the message just to see if his friend's aim was to show some genuine interest regardless of the previous guy.

The conclusion is either he's really terrible at conversation and making a good first impression, or my intuition was right.

 

The conversation got as far as asking what our plans were for the evening, and his last message was simply 'ok cool' with no effort to make any more conversation whatsoever.

 

I must be missing the point as to why a man would get his friend to message just to have a load of pointless conversation?? :-S

[Redhead14]

Thank you for your feedback!

 

If I'm honest, I did reply to the message just to see if his friend's aim was to show some genuine interest regardless of the previous guy.

The conclusion is either he's really terrible at conversation and making a good first impression, or my intuition was right.

 

The conversation got as far as asking what our plans were for the evening, and his last message was simply 'ok cool' with no effort to make any more conversation whatsoever.

 

I must be missing the point as to why a man would get his friend to message just to have a load of pointless conversation?? :-S

 

Bad communicator, inexperienced dater, no real interest -- just trolling . . . I'd drop both at this point.