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Does anyone ever feel like crap when a guy "updates" his profile pic after a date?


spanishchick00

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spanishchick00

The thing that blows my ego is after meeting up with a guy from OLD, and the date goes great, he's got the nerve to update his profile pic. Like what? I wasn't good enough for him and is looking for the next best thing????

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The thing that blows my ego is after meeting up with a guy from OLD, and the date goes great, he's got the nerve to update his profile pic. Like what? I wasn't good enough for him and is looking for the next best thing????

 

More like, you arnt exclusive, it was one date and he is still keeping his options open.

 

If this upsets you, you need to work on not expecting so much out of 1 date even if it was a great date thats all it was so far, just a meeting.

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You get your hopes up pretty high pretty fast, huh? It's okay, people can't help how they feel, only how they behave. Just don't check on a guy's profile after the date. Wait to see if he wants another date and if so, go for it, if not, don't go back to his profile at all, just move on. I sometimes attach quickly myself, can't always help it, but because I'm self-aware I can modify my behavior to keep things healthy.

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spanishchick00
You get your hopes up pretty high pretty fast, huh? It's okay, people can't help how they feel, only how they behave. Just don't check on a guy's profile after the date. Wait to see if he wants another date and if so, go for it, if not, don't go back to his profile at all, just move on. I sometimes attach quickly myself, can't always help it, but because I'm self-aware I can modify my behavior to keep things healthy.

 

Yes, I do get my hopes up! How can I not? I just have such high expectations. I want to be that "gem."

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Yes, I do get my hopes up! How can I not? I just have such high expectations. I want to be that "gem."

 

You mean a guy just madly fall in love with you in just one date? That only happens in fairy tales and this ain't Disneyland.

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spanishchick00
More like, you arnt exclusive, it was one date and he is still keeping his options open.

 

If this upsets you, you need to work on not expecting so much out of 1 date even if it was a great date thats all it was so far, just a meeting.

 

If a guy is still keeping his options open, that just means I wasn't good enough. This is worse for women to feel than what men feel. Men can get rejected all the time, they are the chasers. Women just have to sit back and look pretty.

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Out of respect for my dates, I don't check my OLD account for at least 24 hours after our date. If he went on it straight after my guess is it wasn't great for him.

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If a guy is still keeping his options open, that just means I wasn't good enough. This is worse for women to feel than what men feel. Men can get rejected all the time, they are the chasers. Women just have to sit back and look pretty.

 

Wow, and he didn't become instantly exclusive with you with this kind of attitude, it really boggles my mind :lmao:

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Lernaean_Hydra
If a guy is still keeping his options open, that just means I wasn't good enough. This is worse for women to feel than what men feel. Men can get rejected all the time, they are the chasers. Women just have to sit back and look pretty.

 

 

Wth are you talking about!? I hope you realize that by saying you think occasionally being rejected is somehow worse than being "rejected all the time" you sound utterly ridiculous? By claiming all women have to do is "sit back and look pretty" (a crock, by the way), you're implying sitting on your ass and not being picked is worse than being proactive (chasing) and being rejected. Which is a lie.

 

Anyway, if a guy is still keeping his options open after a first flipping date all it means is he's still open to the possibility of meeting someone other than you. It doesn't necessarily mean he didn't like you. Hell, he might like you but be unsure how you felt about the whole thing.

 

You seem to be taking a 'love at first sight' approach to dating which is frankly absurd. Espeically when it comes to OLD. I might very well really like a guy after a first date but that doesn't mean I put my entire life on hold.

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spanishchick00

Out of respect for my dates, I don't check my OLD account for at least 24 hours after our date. If he went on it straight after my guess is it wasn't great for him.

 

Wow. My last date, he checked his account like 4 hours later. I never understood why do what they do. The date went great, we both had a good time. And what bothers me is that some say they even found a relationship from OLD. Wow. I'm not what they want? Sure, some other chick was relationship worthy, but not me?

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Wow. My last date, he checked his account like 4 hours later. I never understood why do what they do. The date went great, we both had a good time. And what bothers me is that some say they even found a relationship from OLD. Wow. I'm not what they want? Sure, some other chick was relationship worthy, but not me?

 

Learn to enjoy the experiences for what they are, and don't dwell on circumstances that are beyond your control. When we get impatient, it's hard for a date to be "bad." I had a lot of good dates, but often times they didn't feel the same way because they weren't as desperate as I was to fall in love again to forget about my ex. Our dates may be good, but we over-exaggerate on how good they actually are.

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The thing that blows my ego is after meeting up with a guy from OLD, and the date goes great, he's got the nerve to update his profile pic. Like what? I wasn't good enough for him and is looking for the next best thing????

 

Since you checked out his profile after the date, and many others do the same, how do you know he wasn't doing it to look better for you?

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spanishchick00
Since you checked out his profile after the date, and many others do the same, how do you know he wasn't doing it to look better for you?

 

What do you mean "to look better for me?"

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Wow. My last date, he checked his account like 4 hours later. I never understood why do what they do. The date went great, we both had a good time. And what bothers me is that some say they even found a relationship from OLD. Wow. I'm not what they want? Sure, some other chick was relationship worthy, but not me?

 

Why do you take it so personally? You can be the cutest thing walking around but the man does not dig you. Maybe it's not in your looks but it's in your attitude that he felt you were not quite a match.

 

If you want to give online dating a chance you've got to lose the attitude. You will meet men that won't call you back and you won't call back TILL you meet one that you both fit.

 

You have to be patient, it may take weeks or months, even years before you meet someone you both click.

 

If I meet a man and a few hours later I see he changed his picture then to me it means I did not capture his full attention. No big deal. I simply go to next.

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If a guy is still keeping his options open, that just means I wasn't good enough. This is worse for women to feel than what men feel. Men can get rejected all the time, they are the chasers. Women just have to sit back and look pretty.

 

Perhaps the fact that you feel that all you have to do is "sit back & look pretty" has something to do with why a guy would want to keep his options open & continue to look for someone who is willing to put some effort into bringing something more to the table.

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spanishchick00
Why do you take it so personally? You can be the cutest thing walking around but the man does not dig you. Maybe it's not in your looks but it's in your attitude that he felt you were not quite a match.

 

If you want to give online dating a chance you've got to lose the attitude. You will meet men that won't call you back and you won't call back TILL you meet one that you both fit.

 

You have to be patient, it may take weeks or months, even years before you meet someone you both click.

 

If I meet a man and a few hours later I see he changed his picture then to me it means I did not capture his full attention. No big deal. I simply go to next.

 

I know, but it's not fair it has to always be one-sided. I really dig the guy and think he would be a great partner, why can't I have what I want?

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Anyway, if a guy is still keeping his options open after a first flipping date all it means is he's still open to the possibility of meeting someone other than you. It doesn't necessarily mean he didn't like you. Hell, he might like you but be unsure how you felt about the whole thing.
Very well said, especially the part about the guy being unsure about how she felt. I used to stop pursuing other women when a first date went well. I would find out weeks or months later that the woman only had platonic interest in me. It's just more efficient to keep your options open until you have confirmed mutual interest.

 

 

I know, but it's not fair it has to always be one-sided. I really dig the guy and think he would be a great partner, why can't I have what I want?
You'll need to lose this notion or you're in for a world of hurt. Very, very few people ever get their first choice.
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spanishchick00
Very well said, especially the part about the guy being unsure about how she felt. I used to stop pursuing other women when a first date went well. I would find out weeks or months later that the woman only had platonic interest in me. It's just more efficient to keep your options open until you have confirmed mutual interest.

 

 

You'll need to lose this notion or you're in for a world of hurt. Very, very few people ever get their first choice.

 

Why would you stop pursuing a woman if the date went well? If I liked the guy and had a good time, I would contact him and see if he would like to get together again, but as I've been told many, many times, a woman isn't suppose to chase after a man. Because if he was truly interested he would have contacted her. Are you saying it's ok for me to go ahead and contact my date from 2 weeks ago?

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spanishchick00
Perhaps the fact that you feel that all you have to do is "sit back & look pretty" has something to do with why a guy would want to keep his options open & continue to look for someone who is willing to put some effort into bringing something more to the table.

 

What kind of effort do I have to make? I take 3 hours picking out an outfit, getting my hair and nails done and an additional 30 minutes putting on makeup.

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Why would you stop pursuing a woman if the date went well?
I didn't say I would stop pursuing her. I would pursue her as well as other women. The pursuit of other women would only stop after I've confirmed that she's actually interested in me on more than a friend level.

 

 

If I liked the guy and had a good time, I would contact him and see if he would like to get together again, but as I've been told many, many times, a woman isn't suppose to chase after a man. Because if he was truly interested he would have contacted her. Are you saying it's ok for me to go ahead and contact my date from 2 weeks ago?
If we told you many, many times that sleeping with a guy on the first date is the best way to show him you're interested, would you do that? I hope not!

 

 

It's completely acceptable for the woman to contact the man. Just do so within reason (don't text him every 30 minutes after the date).

 

 

What kind of effort do I have to make? I take 3 hours picking out an outfit, getting my hair and nails done and an additional 30 minutes putting on makeup.
That's a lot of effort for a first date. Survivor was referring to putting effort into things other than your looks. Focus on what else you bring to the table.
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Just try to have no expectations until you're exclusive with someone I wouldn't expect a guy to drop his dating profile until he was taken.

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If a guy is still keeping his options open, that just means I wasn't good enough. This is worse for women to feel than what men feel. Men can get rejected all the time, they are the chasers. Women just have to sit back and look pretty.

 

It hurts for men to get rejected too you know.

 

Women have to be more than just ornaments... If you think that you are a prize just because your pretty your going to have a big shock when your looks fade...

 

Work on other things such as your interests and hobbies... getting a bloke can't be the only hobby you have?

 

Its a dating site. The guys are working the numbers and being realistic... after 3-4 dates thats when I would be annoyed...

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why can't I have what I want?

 

Are you saying this for real? Was everything in life handed to you with no work and efforts? because that statement makes you sound like a little rich spoiled brat

 

 

What kind of effort do I have to make? I take 3 hours picking out an outfit, getting my hair and nails done and an additional 30 minutes putting on makeup.

 

Ever heard of casual?

 

Maybe the guy didn't like that 30 min make-up on you. If you were made up as if you were heading to a wedding the man probably felt you were too high maintenance. On my first meetings I am in jeans with heels, mascara and lipsticks, that's it, and I never met a man that didn't want to see me again.

 

It may be a foreign concept to you but men also like personalities, not just looks.

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Somewhere on another forum, this guy is posting about a girl he went out on a date with, he logged onto his OLD profile and saw she had logged on.

 

It goes both ways.

 

And stop with the entitlement garbage, that's probably why they log back on.

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Maybe he thought you were full of yourself and didnt like your attitude. People can have great dates and not feel that spark or chemistry.

 

Your setting yourself up for failure going in with these expectations. I would run for the hills if a guy closed his OLD account after one date.

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