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What a waste of time OLD is! This angers me.


spanishchick00

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spanishchick00

Should I delete my OKC profile? All I get are messages from guys that are just wasting my time. Sending like 50 messages, where it leads to nowhere. Having to give a guy my phone number so that he can contact me. Most likely they are "texters" not talkers. I have to suggest everything. Exchanging numbers, talking on the phone, meeting up. Good god! I didn't know I was the one with the balls. I'm not sure what they want? A buddy?

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Should I delete my OKC profile? All I get are messages from guys that are just wasting my time. Sending like 50 messages, where it leads to nowhere. Having to give a guy my phone number so that he can contact me. Most likely they are "texters" not talkers. I have to suggest everything. Exchanging numbers, talking on the phone, meeting up. Good god! I didn't know I was the one with the balls. I'm not sure what they want? A buddy?

 

 

Why did you waste 50 messages on them then? If I don't get any offer to meet after 4-5 messages I drop them. I am in the business of finding myself a man, not in entertainment business.

 

When they text you just reply: call me.

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Should I delete my OKC profile? All I get are messages from guys that are just wasting my time. Sending like 50 messages, where it leads to nowhere. Having to give a guy my phone number so that he can contact me. Most likely they are "texters" not talkers. I have to suggest everything. Exchanging numbers, talking on the phone, meeting up. Good god! I didn't know I was the one with the balls. I'm not sure what they want? A buddy?

 

Yes, to clarify, is that 50 messages all with the same person??

 

Is this one experience, or the experience you're having over and over?

 

If it's just one, hang in there—you have to rifle through quite a few to get to a good one.

 

Also, I would suggest conducting yourself in the manner you want. If you want the guy to ask for your number, then wait til he does, and if he doesn't in a timely manner, then move on. If you'd rather talk on the phone, SAY THAT, then don't accept communication from a man who will only text. If you just go with the flow, but the flow's going in a direction you don't want to go, then all you're going to do is end up frustrated.

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spanishchick00
Why did you waste 50 messages on them then? If I don't get any offer to meet after 4-5 messages I drop them. I am in the business of finding myself a man, not in entertainment business.

 

When they text you just reply: call me.

 

Guys have said that its a way to get to "know" the person before meeting up. Also, to make me feel more, "comfortable." Half of the time they just flake out.

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spanishchick00
I know how you feel. What do you do when you like a girl but they just text all the time and have excuses why they can't call?

 

Yeah, one guy even said how much he "hates" talking on the phone.

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Guys have said that its a way to get to "know" the person before meeting up. Also, to make me feel more, "comfortable." Half of the time they just flake out.

 

So what ever they say ! I was told the same thing by certain men. I said I am sorry I am not interested in a penpal maybe another lady would be but not me. I am on here to make contact and meet. Good luck.

 

You don't have to do anything these men want! You handle your dating life as you see fit !

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spanish, you can learn to "manage" them on OKC! After a few emails drop them if they don't ask to meet, or suggest a meeting yourself, and drop a guy if he doesn't go for it.

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Should I delete my OKC profile? All I get are messages from guys that are just wasting my time. Sending like 50 messages, where it leads to nowhere. Having to give a guy my phone number so that he can contact me. Most likely they are "texters" not talkers. I have to suggest everything. Exchanging numbers, talking on the phone, meeting up. Good god! I didn't know I was the one with the balls. I'm not sure what they want? A buddy?

 

Can you imagine this sweet girl not getting anywhere. whoa :rolleyes:

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Oh spanishchick I know that feel lol. It's pretty much the same story for me so far on OKC.

 

It's funny too because as a woman and having read so much **** talk from men on here about OLD I was thinking hmm well maybe it'll be easy, since apparently there are all these guys on there who really do want to go on dates and are sick of getting ignored.

 

Nope! Most of them can't or won't make actual conversation, or we chat a bit and then they fade or stop responding, got my first flaker recently, etc etc.

 

I think dating culture just kind of sucks right now all around lol, for men and women. :laugh:

 

But it's only been a little while. Just have a sense of humor, OP. It probably takes most a while to find their diamond in the rough.

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spanishchick00
Get off of OLD and join groups or anything to meet men in person.

 

That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm sick of OLD. No luck with OLD, guess I have to hit the bar/club scene. :D

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I think dating culture just kind of sucks right now all around lol, for men and women.

 

Why do you think is? A lot of people certainly seem to feel that way. Yet we live in a world with supposedly unprecedented opportunities, e.g. to do online dating.

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That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm sick of OLD. No luck with OLD, guess I have to hit the bar/club scene. :D

 

Different scene, same creeps. :p

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Why do you think is? A lot of people certainly seem to feel that way. Yet we live in a world with supposedly unprecedented opportunities, e.g. to do online dating.

 

I think alot of it has to do with OLD, social media, and the internet in general. People have too many choices and opportunities and sex is so easy to get these days that men nor women want to put in much work. They just go from one to the other and no one is really a prize anymore because you don't have to work for it.

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Frank2thepoint
Guys have said that its a way to get to "know" the person before meeting up. Also, to make me feel more, "comfortable." Half of the time they just flake out.

 

You can always flip it on them, and ask them out first after a couple of messages.

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I think alot of it has to do with OLD, social media, and the internet in general. People have too many choices and opportunities and sex is so easy to get these days that men nor women want to put in much work. They just go from one to the other and no one is really a prize anymore because you don't have to work for it.

 

I think so too, but wanted to hear others' opinion. I think the internet is changing social norms e.g. OLD but not everyone sees this.

 

stillafool, I would be really interested in knowing if you remember the pre-internet days and how dating went then? Was it really that much different? Seems to me it was, but maybe I just don't know.

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I think so too, but wanted to hear others' opinion. I think the internet is changing social norms e.g. OLD but not everyone sees this.

 

stillafool, I would be really interested in knowing if you remember the pre-internet days and how dating went then? Was it really that much different? Seems to me it was, but maybe I just don't know.

 

Well, I'd say that OLD takes the "personalness" out of it. You're scrolling through profiles and pictures, there's no "body", facial expressions, mannerisms to see.

 

But, really, it's just a means to an end. It really doesn't matter if you find them on OLD or in person. Bottomline, you connect with someone on OLD then you meet them. It's not even a first date. It's just about whether you even want to go on a date with them. Like, if you meet someone in person, talk for a little while, decide if you want to give them your number and then you go on a first date.

 

The guys on OLD are the same guys you might meet in person but they are all "there" at once so to speak. You likely wouldn't meet 10 guys in person who would ask you out or you would go out with and even if you did, X number would only want sex, X number would want casual, X number would want serious relationship. OLD is just more 'in your face".

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I think alot of it has to do with OLD, social media, and the internet in general. People have too many choices and opportunities and sex is so easy to get these days that men nor women want to put in much work. They just go from one to the other and no one is really a prize anymore because you don't have to work for it.

 

But OLD is a lot of work, lol. To do it successfully, anyway. I started OLD last October, and boy was there a steep learning curve! It took me 10 months and 30 men, but I eventually met someone I liked a lot, who also liked me a lot, and we've been together for almost four months. I would say that most of the folks on Love Shack are real, thoughtful people who are, in most cases, looking for genuine connection. If a large percentage of us do OLD, then who's to say that other real, genuine people aren't either? It's saying you'd never meet anyone of quality at a bar. Well, a lot of normal people go to bars, so that logic goes out the window. Sure, there needs to be a sifting through of the bad ones (hence all the work), and a periodic adjusting of how one goes about securing dates (quickly after connecting online), but with persistence and time, it can be done.

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I think so too, but wanted to hear others' opinion. I think the internet is changing social norms e.g. OLD but not everyone sees this.

 

stillafool, I would be really interested in knowing if you remember the pre-internet days and how dating went then? Was it really that much different? Seems to me it was, but maybe I just don't know.

 

Yes I remember it well. It was wonderful to go out to parties, clubs, picnics, the beach, anywhere and catch a cute guys eye. They would call you on the phone talk a long time and arrange a date. They usually showed up in their freshly washed car, the guy looking and smelling great, dinner then dancing or a movie. It really gave you a reason to get all dolled up for your date. I wish young people could experience it. I'm sure some do. The texting thing is so unromantic. I want to hear the guys voice and him to hear mine.

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Yes I remember it well. It was wonderful to go out to parties, clubs, picnics, the beach, anywhere and catch a cute guys eye. They would call you on the phone talk a long time and arrange a date. They usually showed up in their freshly washed car, the guy looking and smelling great, dinner then dancing or a movie. It really gave you a reason to get all dolled up for your date. I wish young people could experience it. I'm sure some do. The texting thing is so unromantic. I want to hear the guys voice and him to hear mine.

 

Yes, I remember that too! From the male perspective. Another thing I remember is not looking to go out with someone different three times a week. If I was interested enough to go to all that trouble, it was always for one rather special person. Of course, it might not last long, but it was great while it did.

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Hmm, I'm not sure if OLD has improved people's overall dating prospects or not. I miss old fashioned pre-technology interactions.

 

OP please do not allow excessive texting /emailing to take place prior to meeting. Those guys usually turn out to be time wasters, flakes and 'never intended to meets' because they're not who they say they are / lazy/ attached.

 

I take OLD with a pinch of salt.

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I find dating sites to be utterly depressing. There are some really weird and screwed up people on them and it can honestly cause me to lose faith in the human race. Then, every time I decide to try again, the same thing happens. I've completely sworn off of them. They seem to be a hang out for weirdos and socially inept people.

 

I do have a friend who found a great guy on a dating site and they've been married for several years now. So I guess it works out sometimes. One thing she did was come up with a list of questions to ask every guy before she even met them. I think it helped her weed out the fruitcakes.

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