singlelife Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0CFYQFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thedatereport.com%2Fdating%2Fattraction%2F10-hilarious-examples-of-guys-not-realizing-theyre-being-hit-on%2F&ei=pW2QVJv4IYH-ggTMiIPYDw&usg=AFQjCNE8U8sv6q20bjIPlXGF_KyLFZxJQQ Are us guys this stupid? Can you share some other examples? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I met a guy at a MeetUp event. We chatted & it turned out he was in the market for something my company did so I gave him my card. When I left I said I'd be happy to help him but I'd be happier if he called for personal rather than professional reasons. I thought I had been super flirty with him but when he asked me to dinner he confessed that if I hadn't said what I said he never would have known I was interested. So honestly, I think subtlety only gets you so far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 (edited) https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0CFYQFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thedatereport.com%2Fdating%2Fattraction%2F10-hilarious-examples-of-guys-not-realizing-theyre-being-hit-on%2F&ei=pW2QVJv4IYH-ggTMiIPYDw&usg=AFQjCNE8U8sv6q20bjIPlXGF_KyLFZxJQQ Are us guys this stupid? Can you share some other examples? I can't see the link, but if a woman gives signals and such and a guy misreads them (i,e, does not wussy out), and she gives up on a potential good mate, then it is her loss. When people are in their 40s and they are towing a kid in a baby carrier, and worrying about mortgage payments and thinking about the impending death of their elderly parents, they will see how trivial things like flirtatious signals are. Edited December 16, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 It's a tricky dance, for sure. If we're too subtle, men won't notice. If we're forward enough that it's obvious, some men might think we're just desperate, or easy sex, or feel like we're undermining their masculinity. Or something. As much as men struggle to find the right balance when approaching women, we women are often just as perplexed and flustered about trying to send green lights without accidentally falling into desperate/easy/emasculation territories. We also struggle with trying to determine when a guy isn't getting the hint, and when we're being passively rejected. It's very similar to the guys who make threads here about how to respond to women saying they are "busy" a lot, or that they "just want to be friends" and so on. The typical female version of this situation is when we are already doing the tightrope walk of green lighting, and again, can't tell if he's clueless or not interested. If we keep going and he's not interested, damn do we feel like embarrassed fools. Yet if there's a chance he's just clueless and we're really feelin him, then it's very tempting to keep pushing the envelope. Ugh. I had a massive crush on a fellow CNA in a previous job I worked. He and I often worked the same shifts and partnered up, and we'd talk a lot about our personal lives with each other when not in front of residents. I asked him lots of questions, probably smiled like a total twitterpated goofball most of the time and even went in for a couple of daring arm touches lol. But ultimately I was too afraid he was just an inherently friendly, open guy to getting any bolder than that. I think the boldest I ever got, which was after I had already subtly inquired about his status (he was single) was asking him what he was planning for his upcoming day off. He told me not much, might grab a couple drinks and go skiing. I was like, "Oh that's sounds pretty fun. I have the same days off next week, ha." Followed by a long smiling "................................." Then I walked away like **** I'm stupid. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 When people are in their 40s and they are towing a kid in a baby carrier, and worrying about mortgage payments and thinking about the impending death of their elderly parents, they will see how trivial things like flirtatious signals are. The link was quite amusing. Where did this part of your post come from? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 The link was quite amusing. Where did this part of your post come from? I can't see the link at work. Maybe I over-reacted. Sometimes I get sick of people screening out with all of these silly little gender role things. I mean, really when you couple up and settle down with kids, none of those little dating game things are relevant at all. Anyway, carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Yeah I've been that stupid...more times than I'd like to admit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 I would never say the women are that stupid but us guys. It's quite shocking to know a woman you may have liked was all over you but you didn't notice it. Wow! Us guys need to open up our eyes! Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I can't see the link, but if a woman gives signals and such and a guy misreads them (i,e, does not wussy out), and she gives up on a potential good mate, then it is her loss. When people are in their 40s and they are towing a kid in a baby carrier, and worrying about mortgage payments and thinking about the impending death of their elderly parents, they will see how trivial things like flirtatious signals are. Because people in their 40's don't date? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 When it comes to me, ladies do have to go out of their way if they want to get my attention. I can't see subtlety at all even if my life depends on it. I would almost always get the wrong idea and regret even bothering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singlelife Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 I mean us guys just don't get it. So maybe other tactics are needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Just1ofThoseDays Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Girls need to show it by knowing the guy and what he's used to viewing as "it". If she came up to me, all she has to do is get nervous yet still stay. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 (edited) I have fallen down many times in this way when what you might call, emerging from the friendzone. If I made overtures to a woman before, whether months or years, and got shot down, but they change their mind later and start trying to be more intimate (or conversely, if I shot them down for hitting on me when I wasn't ready but they stay interested through into a time when I was ready) I just ignore every sign, because I've had to dampen my spirit with them for so long. Lost a number of what could've been good things that way. It's happening to me right now - a woman who rejected me months ago is making a lot of very inviting gestures and arrangements, but I can not allow myself to take them as positive signs, because she already passed me over before. She'd have to be very direct indeed to convince me she wants to reopen the idea. Outside of that I don't believe I've ever missed an on the spot opportunity, certainly not any that were telegraphed anyway. I hit on every woman I possibly can TBH and here I am a confirmed bachelor so, logically there can't have been any. Like someone else said here, it's really very sad how badly we all manage this, how defensive and confused we all are all the time and out of touch our day to day is. Is it any wonder drunkenness is a fundamental component of how many couples meet? Think how sad that is. Animals don't have that problem. Edited December 17, 2014 by shet Link to post Share on other sites
spanishchick00 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 For me, its usually, if I'm too forward-showing too much interest when its pretty obvious-the guy will be turned off by it and is no longer interested-because I come off as obsessive and possessive. Yet, if I don't show any emotion at all-like just by playing it cool, not being flirty, then the guy will assume I'm not interested at all and will move on and not bother pursuing me. Its a no win situation. Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Once, on my second date with a woman, she insisted on paying for my meal, then invited me back to her apartment, where we sat on the couch and talked for several hours. Toward the end of the evening she invited me into her bedroom, where I sat on the bed while she sat at the computer (about a foot away) and smoked pot in front of me. I left without so much as kissing her. *slaps forehead* Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 The ones in the link are not even clues. They are pretty much the equivalent of "Do me you hot stud." That stuff only happens to guys who are used to it happening all of the time. I have one story. I was hanging with some friends one night and a woman who was in the circle of acquaintances was talking to me and saying "I like guys of XXX race and I would love to kiss a guy of XXX race." Well, I was of XXX race. Even one of my female friends there told me it was pretty obvious she wanted me. Well, she didn't. I went for her later and she didn't look at me like that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Most of the time I go dancing or to a rave with my friends, they always end up telling me that somebody was trying to dance with me, to which I was oblivious of. I feel like I am Helen Keller with glow sticks. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
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