Fuzzymuzzy Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I' about four monthes out of a bad relationship and I would like to start dating again. I'm a good looking guy and I have a 7 mo. old little boy who is the love of my life. After the relationship I have less self confidance than before and I feel insecure about telling a woman I meet about my son. Not because I'm embarassed by because I don't want to turn someone off to me or get the usually "he is only 7 mo. old and your not with his mother?" stuff. So my question is 1. When do u tell someone you have a child? 2. How do women feel about a man who has a child and spends most of his free time with him? 3.If you didn't have kids would you date someone who does? I'm 25 so maybe it's the age I am and most women this age like to party, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Originally posted by Fuzzymuzzy 1. When do u tell someone you have a child? Right away. You don't want to date anyone who is not comfortable with the idea of you having a child. 2. How do women feel about a man who has a child and spends most of his free time with him? I was a single mother with a child that was a year old. I felt that my child was my first priority, and told the only man I dated during that time, and wound up marrying, that my daughter came first. I only saw him on the days when my daughter was with her father, for several months. He didn't even meet my child until I was sure we were serious about each other. I would think, that the kind of woman you should be looking for, would be one that understands that your child comes first, and also admires your ability to be a good father. 3.If you didn't have kids would you date someone who does? My current husband didn't have kids, and dated me, but we were both in our 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I'm not a lady, or a woman, for that matter, but would like agree with Matilda (whom I assume is one, if not both, of those ) Right away. You don't want to date anyone who is not comfortable with the idea of you having a child. I would think, that the kind of woman you should be looking for, would be one that understands that your child comes first, and also admires your ability to be a good father. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused28 Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I think that it is great that your son is your priority! That actually would be a turn on for me! IF I met a guy whose son was so important, that would be a plus, not a minus. I would definitely understand even if you were not with the mother at 7 months. I mean, I can attest that I have continued to have sex with someone even though things were on the rocks. i could have found myself in that situation, too. I dated a guy once who had an 8 year old (he was 27), her mother was his hs sweetheart. he never really sat down and talked to me about it. i know that he was scared to scare me off, but you really need to sit down and just have the conversation early on. good luck! confused28 Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Originally posted by Fuzzymuzzy 1. When do u tell someone you have a child? As soon as possible. Rule out people that don't want or like kids. I'm a single mom myself and I wouldn't be interested in someone that had no interest in my child. Originally posted by Fuzzymuzzy 2. How do women feel about a man who has a child and spends most of his free time with him? I think it's awesome. I think ultimately the goal is to find a woman that you can love eternally. A kid you must ultimately set free. To be wrapped up in a kid now (while single) is acceptable. But it's your job to show that child that YOU can love. You should have that! To love your spouse/partner/significant other is the best gift you can give a child. It teaches him/her to love. Originally posted by Fuzzymuzzy 3. If you didn't have kids would you date someone who does? Yes. I love kids. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Yes, do it right away. Make sure they know how important your child is to you so that they are prepared to share you and are reassured that you have not abandoned your responsibilities. If it's a problem then it's much better that you know it's an issue for her at the start. Some women may lose interest but there will be many who find it attractive that a man takes his responsibilities so seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
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