ejohnson Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 I feel completely ridiculous posting about this and setting up an account just to post but I am going insane. I have a huge crush on a coworker. Who is married. I am married too (7 years). Never cheated before and never even thought about it. He is 15+ years older than me. I am pretty sure he is attracted to me too- always checks me out when he thinks I am not looking, teases me, touches me, has played footsie, etc but it has not really gone beyond anything that could be pretty easily denied if called on it. I feel like such a horrible person for having these feelings. If you're just going to post and tell me to run a mile as he is married I already know that and don't need to hear it. What I am wondering is has anyone else been through this? How did you fight off the feelings and get over him, it's so hard as we work together every day? Should I make a move? My feelings are so strong. I am worried I am falling out of love and am with the wrong person. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
SummerLuvR Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Talk to your husband about your crush. That should let you know if its for real or just something to entertain your hormones. How would you feel if your husband was in the same situation? Just throwing my 2 cents in there. Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I feel completely ridiculous posting about this and setting up an account just to post but I am going insane. I have a huge crush on a coworker. Who is married. I am married too (7 years). Never cheated before and never even thought about it. He is 15+ years older than me. I am pretty sure he is attracted to me too- always checks me out when he thinks I am not looking, teases me, touches me, has played footsie, etc but it has not really gone beyond anything that could be pretty easily denied if called on it. I feel like such a horrible person for having these feelings. If you're just going to post and tell me to run a mile as he is married I already know that and don't need to hear it. What I am wondering is has anyone else been through this? How did you fight off the feelings and get over him, it's so hard as we work together every day? Should I make a move? My feelings are so strong. I am worried I am falling out of love and am with the wrong person. What should I do? Plays footies? In the office? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ejohnson Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Plays footies? In the office? Yes under the table at meetings! Foot up against my calf. Then we pretend it never happened. Link to post Share on other sites
StrongLass Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 How did you fight off the feelings and get over him, it's so hard as we work together every day? Well what do you want? You need to think long and hard about what you want when it comes to your romantic attachments. Want to repair your relationship? Get a new job. Cut contact with your former boss & move forward from there. Want to start building something with your boss? Find out where he stands on the idea of you two. DON'T start an affair. Whether the response is positive or negative get a new job to avoid damaging yourself professionally. I am worried I am falling out of love and am with the wrong person. There is no such thing as soul mates, only good relationships and ones that could be better. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE has their imperfections. Should I make a move? My feelings are so strong. The greenest garden is the one that is the best tended. If you continue like this you will feed your infatuation for this other man grow while your relationship w/ your husband wanes. Figure out what you ultimately want out of this area of your life & then take the actions you need to get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I feel completely ridiculous posting about this and setting up an account just to post but I am going insane. I have a huge crush on a coworker. Who is married. I am married too (7 years). Never cheated before and never even thought about it. He is 15+ years older than me. I am pretty sure he is attracted to me too- always checks me out when he thinks I am not looking, teases me, touches me, has played footsie, etc but it has not really gone beyond anything that could be pretty easily denied if called on it. I feel like such a horrible person for having these feelings. If you're just going to post and tell me to run a mile as he is married I already know that and don't need to hear it. What I am wondering is has anyone else been through this? How did you fight off the feelings and get over him, it's so hard as we work together every day? Should I make a move? My feelings are so strong. I am worried I am falling out of love and am with the wrong person. What should I do? Hell no you shouldn't make a move. What is wrong with you? Have some self control and for goodness sake have some self respect AND respect for your spouse. You aren't with the wrong person...you are high and therefore blind. This attraction is like a drug, a bloody bad one so knock it off. If you aren't going to remove yourself from the situation then you need to tell this gent that the behaviovor is inapprorpriate and you are not interested. If he continues the touchie/feelie crap after this then he is to be reported for inappropriate behavior. SMH...you cross this line you are bringing on yourself more pain and grief then you can imagine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty_nine Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Well what do you want? You need to think long and hard about what you want when it comes to your romantic attachments. Want to repair your relationship? Get a new job. Cut contact with your former boss & move forward from there. Want to start building something with your boss? Find out where he stands on the idea of you two. DON'T start an affair. Whether the response is positive or negative get a new job to avoid damaging yourself professionally. There is no such thing as soul mates, only good relationships and ones that could be better. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE has their imperfections. The greenest garden is the one that is the best tended. If you continue like this you will feed your infatuation for this other man grow while your relationship w/ your husband wanes. Figure out what you ultimately want out of this area of your life & then take the actions you need to get there. Agreed. I was in this situation (except we were both in committed relationships, and he was 12 years older). I was lucky enough that it ended amicably after a year, as friends and without our S/Os finding out. And still it was awful, confusing, painful, awkward at work etc. And it just pushed me further away from my boyfriend. I ended it with my then boyfriend but have since looked back and wondered if I made a mistake. (He is now married). Be careful. Lust and infatuation can be wonderfully exciting feelings, but they cloud your judgement about what you already have. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Tuck it away in the world of fantasy. Enjoy the fantasy but intellectually know that it's not real & keep away from any situation where you would potentially be tempted. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 How do you fight off the feelings? Establish some boundaries with this guy for ****'s sake! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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