My date confessed she's seeing other guys on Tinder

[Metrosexy]

Last month I met this beautiful girl and we clicked. She'd often showed me pictures of herself, including sexy pics. We'd click so well that she asked me out, and I also asked her out.

 

The 2 dates went very well.

 

The 3rd date went very well too. Cue more sexy pics from her. And her starting conversations with me on messenger.

 

Since last Wednesday (19th November), I noticed she was very suddenly cold. Very emotionally detached. And I wondered what was wrong. All messages to her were replied only hours later, and with only one word. It was never like that before.

 

 

Yesterday during our 4th date, it was going so well until all of a sudden she told me she'd been meeting guys on Tinder since she installed the app last Tuesday (18th November). And here's the best part, she told me she spent the night with a guy and his best friend, sleeping in between them, but no sex. But there was a lot of touching.

 

My heart broke when I heard that. I was in such great shock. And she kept gushing about the guy, showing me his pictures and his washboard abs. (I'm a good looking guy myself and I often get checked out by the ladies). And she also said she met another guy on sunday and drank till she puked.

 

I'm still in so much shock today. I was at work today and I couldn't concentrate, thinking about this girl that I like so much, being together with some random guy on Tinder doing God knows what.

 

I'm so heartbroken and I feel like a mess now. She showed me her sexy pics, told me she wanted to teach me sexy dance...and throughout my 4 dates with her I didn't attempt to touch her at all. I'm the type who goes slow in the relationship and I will not touch a girl unless she is in a relationship with me.

 

And there she is, going to a guy's house on the 2nd date with him, playing games on the bed with him and his best friend and then spending the night together cuddling.

 

I ****ing hate tinder now. Everything was going so well, I was dating this beautiful girl, we chatted everyday, she texted me her sexy pics...and all of a sudden, she decides to install Tinder and meets so many guys? WTF? I am so confused, so sad, so lost.

 

I don't know what to do now.

[Toodaloo]

Move on.

 

You thought you were getting a girl who would be into you and only you... Apparently she is into lots of others to. Ergo she is not who you thought she was so not as perfect and not for you.

 

Accept she is not who you thought and move on.

[Metrosexy]

Anyway just to add to the confusion, she sent me a picture after the date, of her smelling the flowers i bought her, wearing just a shirt and nothing underneath, showing her beautiful face, long hair and legs.

 

I am so confused now. Does she like me or not?

Like i said I'm an attractive guy, but the other guy may be more her type (more masculine with facial hair and she can't stop gushing about him in front of me wtf)

[Emilia]

Don't hate Tinder, be grateful you found out early what a little attention seeking tramp you are dating.

[pies]

Anyway just to add to the confusion, she sent me a picture after the date, of her smelling the flowers i bought her, wearing just a shirt and nothing underneath, showing her beautiful face, long hair and legs.

 

I am so confused now. Does she like me or not?

Like i said I'm an attractive guy, but the other guy may be more her type (more masculine with facial hair and she can't stop gushing about him in front of me wtf)

 

She might *like* you, of course she wouldn't go on a date with someone she disliked. But she sees you as just one more guy in her list, don't take it personally, she just doesn't like you enough. She doesn't have a real interest for you from what you are telling us, therefore I would advise you to stop trying to read into her behaviour and move on.

 

Sorry it didn't work out, man, but this stuff happens all the time.

[martaldn]

its not Tinder its her!

download the App too and start chatting/meeting up with other girls too!!

and don't think exclusive until it actually is!

[BlueIris]

It just sounds as though you two have different goals and perspectives on dating, now or maybe forever. Sorry you’re disappointed. This is why we date people for a while, to find out what they’re like. The trick is not attaching our hopes and expectations to people too early, before we know them. I've done it too often, and it does sting, but it's on me.

[stillafool]

The girl is a Player. She definitely likes you and likes the others too. At least she's honest. If that's not what you want stop seeing her and start seeing others. You never even slept with her so you couldn't be that attached, are you?

[InsaneTrombone]

She's not the kind of person you thought she was. She likes you, but she likes many other people too apparently. Enough to get in their bed after a 2nd date. It sounds like she's a bit promiscuous just from your original post, what makes you think she didn't sleep with both of those guys in bed? Because she told you so? Lots of touching though? So what, did they get eachother off without having sex?

 

 

Look, it definitely doesn't sound like this is the kind of girl you were looking for. Whether she likes you or not isn't the point anymore. She has different views / morals than you do. You aren't going to change her. If you don't like what's happening now, chances are you won't like what happens down the road either.

 

 

Move on from this one and be thankful she was actually honest about what she was doing instead of keeping you in the dark. A lot of people don't say anything and keep stringing you along.

[Metrosexy]

Another thing she said that hurt me is,

 

I've always thought all guys are jerks and only want to get into my pants. Until I installed Tinder and met these guys who are perfect gentlemen.

 

I was shocked. What about me???? I'm not a gentleman? 4 dates, I'm so sweet to her, comforting her because she couldn't attend a beauty pageant because she had to go overseas, being kind and considerate about what she likes, giving her a birthday surprise, every damn f-ucking thing women love their boyfriends to do, and what do I get?

 

A f-cking smack in the face. And she allows these 2 guys to sleep with her and cuddle. Wtf I'm really so disappointed yet at the same time I don't wanna give up. :(

[sillyanswer]

I ****ing hate tinder now. Everything was going so well, I was dating this beautiful girl, we chatted everyday, she texted me her sexy pics...and all of a sudden, she decides to install Tinder and meets so many guys? WTF? I am so confused, so sad, so lost.

 

I don't know what to do now.

 

You had 3 good dates then some bad news on the 4th date... so you've met her 4 times... and you're lost? Just move on if her actions are deal breakers.

[InsaneTrombone]

OR...im going to insert a crazed theory here. You may be totally friendzoned or even worse...she thinks your gay.

 

I can't fathom why any chick would start showing me some other dudes washboard abs while I was talking to her and we were romantically interested in eachother.

[Metrosexy]

OR...im going to insert a crazed theory here. You may be totally friendzoned or even worse...she thinks your gay.

 

I can't fathom why any chick would start showing me some other dudes washboard abs while I was talking to her and we were romantically interested in eachother.

 

I don't see how she would friendzone me if she is still showing me her sexy pics.

 

Pics of her smelling the flowers I bought her yesterday, wearing only a shirt and no pants.

[Metrosexy]

Alright guys, I need more advice. Let me know if i should start a seperate thread on this.

 

Im obviously new to relationships. How do I ask a girl to be my girlfriend, and how will I tell that she will likely say yes.

 

4 dates, and obviously I'm too slow for her liking. She's able to hop into bed with 2 guys on their 2nd meeting. How do I escalate things?

 

Even if it's not this girl. i want to ask for future girls, how do I escalate things? I wanted to go slow so as not to freak her out, and now i find out that she likes things to progress fast. WTF.

 

It's just not me to invite girls over to my house and climb on my bed and start touching her.

 

 

I just want to be Respectful to women you know?? She's obviously really hot but I don't want to seem like some sleazebag and touch her all over.

[ScreaminEagle]

Metro, maybe you shouldn't been so nice and more aggressive, and she would of wound up in your bed. After all, she did send you sexy pictures, and make no mistake about it, those pictures were sent to probably a million other guys.

 

This girl is an attention whore, and possibly the latter. You are not compatible with her.

 

Although she has the right to see other men as it has only been four dates, the way she conducted herself by telling you about them and what happened shows how immature, self absorbed and attention seeking she is.

 

Are you more mad that you didn't make a move and your ego is hurt?

[kevintech]

Sorry to say, but it looks like she friendzoned you.

[Metrosexy]

On one hand I am mad that I didn't make a move, on the other hand, I pride myself as a gentleman and I'd want to take things slow and not grope her until she becomes my girlfriend.

 

 

And I'm very new to relationships. I don't know how to escalate things and make the relationship exclusive. How should I go about doing this? (Escalating things, asking her to make our dates exclusive)

[kevintech]

On one hand I am mad that I didn't make a move, on the other hand, I pride myself as a gentleman and I'd want to take things slow and not grope her until she becomes my girlfriend.

 

 

And I'm very new to relationships. I don't know how to escalate things and make the relationship exclusive. How should I go about doing this? (Escalating things, asking her to make our dates exclusive)

 

She clearly can move fast with other guys. Maybe you went a little slow. 4 dates and no physical affection could've easily friendzoned you.

[Metrosexy]

She did touch my shoulders a little on the 3rd date, but I didn't know how to respond!

 

That's why on the 4th date I bought her flowers (And she was very happy about it. I even made her a christmas card telling her how wonderful she is, because she had been feeling down).

 

And she said she almost cried reading it because she was so touched by what I wrote. and then 5 minutes later, she sent that sexy pic of her smelling the flowers. I really don't know man.

 

I think that I still have a chance with her, and all I need to do is escalate...take things to the next level but I don't know how. I don't grope women like that!!!

[bubbaganoosh]

I might be wrong but I've heard you mention the "sexy pictures" more then one time and I can't help feeling that your only seeing one side of the this girl and turning a blind eye to the rest.

 

You says you want to give her respect but IMO if she doesn't respect herself, then how can she accept yous.

 

She isn't ready for a full time relationship and the sooner you start looking for another girl the better you will be. Your going to be getting a whole tone of hassle with her so my advice is to move on.

[ScreaminEagle]

I don't think either of you are ready for relationships.

 

You: Lack the experience, although you seem genuine.

 

She: Lacks the self respect and tact associated with dating and relationships.

[Toodaloo]

Anyway just to add to the confusion, she sent me a picture after the date, of her smelling the flowers i bought her, wearing just a shirt and nothing underneath, showing her beautiful face, long hair and legs.

 

I am so confused now. Does she like me or not?

Like i said I'm an attractive guy, but the other guy may be more her type (more masculine with facial hair and she can't stop gushing about him in front of me wtf)

 

Oh my lordy no - she is messing with your head. Block, delete... can't stress enough how you need this one gone...!

 

No no no. You take your time. This one is to put it bluntly a tramp. now thats fine if you just want to sleep around but not at all fine if you are involving any emotions.

 

Give up, move on I really can't shout it loudly enough but NEXT!

 

Please move on quickly so you don't become a bitter a twisted fool and you still have those great qualities for women who will treat you with respect and dignity...

[Leigh 87]

She's just had news.

 

I met a guy onc last week and I am really into him and therefore I've stopped dating others.

 

That's just what most women do when they are really into a guy. They don't date other people.

[Marshal]

Well metrosexy the answer to your problem is clear to everyone one this site, but you clearly really like this girl. If your gonna continue pursuing this girl guard you heart, if she doesn't break it I'm certain all who commented on your thread will be shocked. The problem is though you both may be inexperienced in dating, more you than her because your a gentleman you both seem to be seeking different things, being a gentleman means your seeking a steady girlfriend and remember metrosexy a gentleman needs a lady not a funtime girl who's clearly seeking thrills. Any girl that can sleep on the same bed as two guys she barely knows is not only not girlfriend material but morally challenged, if you manage to date this girl you're definitely going to become that decent guy who hears continuous rumors about his girlfriend behaving inappropriately with random guy, not one particular guy, which is bad enough, but random guys. Her showing you sexual pictures of herself so soon means she likes to showoff her body and gets pleasure out of guys drooling over her, unfortunately a desire like that needs to be fed regularly and by different men, the same guy calling her beautiful over and over again pales in comparison to a new guy admiring her. Maybe she does like you, what I'm wondering is does she see you as a guy dating other girls, the reason I ask this question is because she told you about the app and other guys as if it wasn't a big deal, I know it's a big deal to you, but does she maybe see you as a guy with her mentality of testing the waters or does she know you want a serious relationship with her?

[ScreaminEagle]

4 dates by no means exclusivity, however with that being said her behavior between the dates and the information she willingly provided to the OP shows how immature she is.