Beautiful Kisses Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I took you guys advice & went no contact with the 34 year old jerk that I was talking to, he kept calling me and texting me, telling me that he missed me and liked me very much. I did not respond to him, it had been almost a month that I completely ignored him. The other morning he texted me asking to see me, I thought well let me just hear him out. I couldn't meet up with him until that night, so I called & asked him where he wanted to meet. He started saying that he was busy at the time & that he had asked to see me earlier. I told him at the time it wasn't a good time for me and if he was so busy, then why even bother to ask to see me, next thing you know he's telling me good night & hung up on me. I just feel hurt that I went against my gut instincts to stick to my guns and not reply to him and I'm also confused as to why the HECK would he be calling me & texting me like he was all of those days, only to still be the same way towards me? Please take it easy on me, idk why I keep going back to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I took you guys advice & went no contact with the 34 year old jerk that I was talking to, he kept calling me and texting me, telling me that he missed me and liked me very much. I did not respond to him, it had been almost a month that I completely ignored him. The other morning he texted me asking to see me, I thought well let me just hear him out. I couldn't meet up with him until that night, so I called & asked him where he wanted to meet. He started saying that he was busy at the time & that he had asked to see me earlier. I told him at the time it wasn't a good time for me and if he was so busy, then why even bother to ask to see me, next thing you know he's telling me good night & hung up on me. I just feel hurt that I went against my gut instincts to stick to my guns and not reply to him and I'm also confused as to why the HECK would he be calling me & texting me like he was all of those days, only to still be the same way towards me? Please take it easy on me, idk why I keep going back to him. After a month of ignoring and him begging for that long I can understand why you would think there might of been a change in him, prob what you were hoping for. Don't get down on yourself we have all made that mistake caving into what we think might be change. Go back to NC and feel better! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 After a month of ignoring and him begging for that long I can understand why you would think there might of been a change in him, prob what you were hoping for. Don't get down on yourself we have all made that mistake caving into what we think might be change. Go back to NC and feel better! Thank you for your support! Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 (edited) I took you guys advice & went no contact with the 34 year old jerk that I was talking to, he kept calling me and texting me, telling me that he missed me and liked me very much. I did not respond to him, it had been almost a month that I completely ignored him. He liked you very much and he missed you but yet when he had you, all he did was use you for sex and treat you badly. Words do not matter. Pay attention to action. Anything he says means nothing. The other morning he texted me asking to see me, I thought well let me just hear him out. What were you hoping that he would tell you? I couldn't meet up with him until that night, so I called & asked him where he wanted to meet. He started saying that he was busy at the time & that he had asked to see me earlier. I told him at the time it wasn't a good time for me and if he was so busy, then why even bother to ask to see me, next thing you know he's telling me good night & hung up on me. He wanted to see you to get what he wanted, when he wanted. That was all it was. The fact that you postponed, he probably had other plans or just didn't want to deal with you because he couldn't get what he wanted, when he wanted, because it wasn't on his terms. I'm also confused as to why the HECK would he be calling me & texting me like he was all of those days, only to still be the same way towards me? Please take it easy on me, idk why I keep going back to him. Because for the longest time you were kissing his feet and allowing him to do whatever he wanted with you. When you decided to exit, he wasn't in control anymore so in order to get you back where you belong, he gave you sweet words to entice you back. When you opened the door, you showed him you're available to him and he went along his merry way knowing he still has you affected. Great ego boost on his part. Why have you not blocked him? If you have no ability to stay away from him, then block him so you are not triggered by him. Edited November 26, 2014 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty_nine Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 this guy is on a serious power trip. I've had exactly the same thing done to me (by the same guy, many times). Finally he's out of my life. I wish I could say there's some hope but, he'll just keep doing this to you. It's pathological and insanely manipulative behavior. I actually disagree a bit, Zahara, that it's just about sex/getting it when he wants it... if he's the kind of guy I think he is, it's more about power and control and wanting to know he has it. I think there are player-type men, and then just men who are seriously f*cked up. The type you described is the latter. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Because for the longest time you were kissing his feet and allowing him to do whatever he wanted with you. When you decided to exit, he wasn't in control anymore so in order to get He liked you very much and he missed you but yet when he had you, all he did was use you for sex and treat you badly. Words do not matter. Pay attention to action. Anything he says means nothing. What were you hoping that he would tell you? He wanted to see you to get what he wanted, when he wanted. That was all it was. The fact that you postponed, he probably had other plans or just didn't want to deal with you because he couldn't get what he wanted, when he wanted, because it wasn't on his terms. Because for the longest time you were kissing his feet and allowing him to do whatever he wanted with you. When you decided to exit, he wasn't in control anymore so in order to get you back where you belong, he gave you sweet words to entice you back. When you opened the door, you showed him you're available to him and he went along his merry way knowing he still has you affected. Great ego boost on his part. Why have you not blocked him? If you have no ability to stay away from him, then block him so you are not triggered by him. Everything you said is very true, I wasn't hoping that he would say anything in specific I just wanted to say. He was literally calling & texting me everyday even though I was ignoring him. I called my phone company THAT NIGHT and got his number blocked, if he tries to call or text me from another number that will be blocked too. I can't keep hurting MYSELF over him. He's not even worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I actually disagree a bit, Zahara, that it's just about sex/getting it when he wants it... if he's the kind of guy I think he is, it's more about power and control and wanting to know he has it. I didn't say that it was just about sex as I did mention that he contacted her and declined her offer to meet based on his need to gain control. So, yes, apart from sex, there was a need to bait and discard - a form of control. Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty_nine Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I didn't say that it was just about sex as I did mention that he contacted her and declined her offer to meet based on his need to gain control. So, yes, apart from sex, there was a need to bait and discard - a form of control. Ohh gotcha, I missed that. I wish I'd understood the "control" stuff years ago. I used to think it was black & white- a guy was/or wanted to use me for sex, or he was genuinely interested. So when evidence appeared that it wasn't just sex, I'd feel more secure in what were really terrible situations. Understanding control and manipulation tactics would've saved me lots of hurt and headaches. Link to post Share on other sites
MissMoneyPenny Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I hope this has helped you to get over him. He doesn't deserve you. It's his loss! Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Ohh gotcha, I missed that. I wish I'd understood the "control" stuff years ago. I used to think it was black & white- a guy was/or wanted to use me for sex, or he was genuinely interested. So when evidence appeared that it wasn't just sex, I'd feel more secure in what were really terrible situations. Understanding control and manipulation tactics would've saved me lots of hurt and headaches. I wish I had insight to it too. In my twenties I was so black and white about it all. Now, in my 40's -- I wish I knew then what I know now! Link to post Share on other sites
Ducky71 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 He probably wanted to get in the last word... Some people are just jerks, don't worry with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts