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Had plans with a guy then he went MIA for 48 hours.


thisisrightnow

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thisisrightnow

So, I met a guy on a dating site, and we talked a lot, and even spoke on the phone for about 4 hours one night, and we made plans to go on our first date. A few hours before (while I was still at work) he texts me and said he got stuck with his niece and felt really bad, but would be able to do the next night without a problem. So the next night we went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. He said he was really tired from not getting much sleep and being up since 3am. So we said our goodbyes.. he gave me a hug, and said that we would do something more fun on Friday (2 days later), and said to text him when I got home, so he knew I made it home ok. We sent a few texts back and forth that night. The next day he texted me and asked me how my day was. We sent a few texts back and forth.

 

Friday in the afternoon I get a text from him and he said he felt like crap. I texted him back a few hours later and said, so we're not going out tonight then, I take it? Didn't hear a peep from him until about 2 hours ago. He texts me and says he's sorry but he had food poisoning and was in bed all weekend, and then added that he felt like a jerk. So I basically told him that if he can't reserve the right to text me and explain, then I reserve the right to tell him that he messed up, and it's his problem, not mine. So then he says he ended up in the hospital with a 102 fever and he left his phone at home, and his sister picked him up today. He explained that he even had a doctors excuse for work if I wanted to see them, and next time he saw me, he would show me the bruise on his arm from his IV. I said a few other things to him and he responded with, if I wanted to lie to you, I could've said something much more believable.

 

My heart is telling me to give this guy a second chance, but if he does anything like this again, then I want nothing to do with him. But at the same time my brain is saying that there seems to be red flags all over the place. In my dating experience, this is a pretty unique situation. For one, I've never had a guy "cancel" a date on me after making plans, much less saying he was hospitalized for food poisoning. Thoughts? Is this guy playing me? It's kind of hard to blow him off if he's willing to show me a note from the hospital and a bruise where the IV was. But I just never know.

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Yeah I'd be suspicious too. Mainly because he'd been flaky with you before that. I think it's important to find out if he was lying or not. But how you do that... I'm not quite sure.

 

Whether his hospital visit was a real or invented, either way this guy doesn't actually expect or want you to ask for evidence of his bruise/doctor's note. That was not a genuine offer. If he was truthfully sick and you ask for that, you're a jerk. If he's lying... he'll probably be surprised to be called out, and my guess is he'd drop out of contact.

 

Do you have access to any of his social media? Could you see if he had any activity over the weekend? Check the dating site you met on, too... see if anything's happened there. Even a sign-in over the weekend would indicate there's something missing to his story.

 

Or I guess you could try go on the date soon and try to make a joke out of the bruise thing so you could see if it was there. Problem is, it could be "disappeared" by that time, right?

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Never trust text messages in these situations. Why didn't you just call him on the phone to ask him what happened? I bet if you had called him, he wouldn't have answered and would have texted you back the same story about the food poisoning.

 

Since he flaked on you before, it doesn't surprise me that he conveniently got food poisoning so he could flake on you again and not meetup for a 2nd date with you.

 

Sure people can get food poisoning at any time, but his is just timed too conveniently to be believable. Have you ever had food poisoning before? It usually takes anywhere from 3 to 5 days to fully recover from, not 48 hours. I don't know anyone who felt better after 2 days. A week later definitely, but 2 days of food poisoning, nope.

 

I'd just forget about this guy and keep dating. Beware the chronic flakers. Once a guy flakes on you, drop him because he'll just continue to do that.

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He's probably juggling other dates. He's too flaky and your instincts are telling you that something isn't right. Just move on. If he contacts you again, just ignore him.

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Never trust text messages in these situations. Why didn't you just call him on the phone to ask him what happened? I bet if you had called him, he wouldn't have answered and would have texted you back the same story about the food poisoning.

 

Since he flaked on you before, it doesn't surprise me that he conveniently got food poisoning so he could flake on you again and not meetup for a 2nd date with you.

 

Sure people can get food poisoning at any time, but his is just timed too conveniently to be believable. Have you ever had food poisoning before? It usually takes anywhere from 3 to 5 days to fully recover from, not 48 hours. I don't know anyone who felt better after 2 days. A week later definitely, but 2 days of food poisoning, nope.

 

I'd just forget about this guy and keep dating. Beware the chronic flakers. Once a guy flakes on you, drop him because he'll just continue to do that.

 

I've never actually had food poisoning before, but he said he was released from the hospital today, and he's still feeling pretty miserable. He told me he was going to take some Nyquil then sleep.

 

 

Do you have access to any of his social media? Could you see if he had any activity over the weekend? Check the dating site you met on, too... see if anything's happened there. Even a sign-in over the weekend would indicate there's something missing to his story.

 

He's not on the dating site anymore. He said he deleted his profile because he was tired of all the flaky girls on there. I found his Facebook, but the posts I could see were not recent. He said he doesn't get on Facebook much, and the last post that *I*could see was from November 11th.

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He's probably juggling other dates. He's too flaky and your instincts are telling you that something isn't right. Just move on. If he contacts you again, just ignore him.

 

Agreed. Flakers (and faders for that matter) often are juggling other dates, which is why they have no problem backing out of dates or just disappearing after 1 date with you. If they aren't dating anyone else, then you know you have a good guy, because he'll keep his dates with you no matter what and will answer his phone when you call him. Guys who screen your calls this early on do so to avoid being called out on their flaking/fading. They hide behind their text messages hoping you'll take the bait. Well, don't take the bait.

 

I agree that you should just ignore him if he texts you again. He'll just continue to string you along with more fake promises if you respond to his texts. Don't do it.

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How 'bout you just give him the benefit of the doubt at this point? You barely know him.

 

If he continues to be flakey, you'll have your answer. You lose nothing by giving him another chance, except for maybe the few hours it takes for you to have a date.

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Do people even get hospitalized for food poisoning ? Where I live Canada most people just puke their brains out till its better if they see a doctor maybe get some meds but everyone gets it some time or another and ive seriously never met someone who was admitted to the hospital for it overnight I smell a bad lie.

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Do people even get hospitalized for food poisoning ? Where I live Canada most people just puke their brains out till its better if they see a doctor maybe get some meds but everyone gets it some time or another and ive seriously never met someone who was admitted to the hospital for it overnight I smell a bad lie.

 

I didn't think people got hospitalized for it, either, but what do I know? He said he went to the hospital that his mom works at with a 102 fever, and his sister took him home today. I'm a vet tech, so I understand the importance of IV fluids to keep you hydrated, but I know people who have had a stomach bug that it was coming from both ends and they weren't hospitalized.

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I didn't think people got hospitalized for it, either, but what do I know? He said he went to the hospital that his mom works at with a 102 fever, and his sister took him home today. I'm a vet tech, so I understand the importance of IV fluids to keep you hydrated, but I know people who have had a stomach bug that it was coming from both ends and they weren't hospitalized.

 

 

His story reeks of BS. I read your post and I said "now here is a guy who has low interest in this woman and has about 2 or 3 other women he is dating that he is more interested in."

 

BTW, they don't hospitalize you for food poisoning. They give you IV fluids, take abdominal xrays, run basic labs and send you home.

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I didn't think people got hospitalized for it, either, but what do I know? He said he went to the hospital that his mom works at with a 102 fever, and his sister took him home today. I'm a vet tech, so I understand the importance of IV fluids to keep you hydrated, but I know people who have had a stomach bug that it was coming from both ends and they weren't hospitalized.

 

I realize IV helps but being admitted overnight let alone missing for 48 hours? I dont think a hospital would take up one of their beds when they cant so anything for you cept let it run its course so ither they're a very generous hospital or hes a lier.

 

When I had stomach cysts bursting in me from a bad reaction to meds I didn't even get a bed I got an IV in the waiting room lol and thats worse than a serious flu, ive had food poisioning before nothing happens to you cept all day ****s and all day pukes like any other horrible flu the only difference is it comes in quickly unlike a cold that you feel building up.

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Maybe I'm just over analyzing, but an hour ago he posted on Facebook and said, "some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you!" Any idea what that means? From what I gather it's a quote from a movie, but I have no idea what it means.

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Do people even get hospitalized for food poisoning ? Where I live Canada most people just puke their brains out till its better if they see a doctor maybe get some meds but everyone gets it some time or another and ive seriously never met someone who was admitted to the hospital for it overnight I smell a bad lie.

 

Me too. Especially the added touch of the Nyquil he told the OP he was going to take. No doctor would advise a food poisoned patient to take anything over the counter like Nyquil, after a serious bout of food poisoning, especially if they were treated at the hospital (they'd have to be admitted more than 2 days and given anti nausea medicine and IV fluids). Anti nausea medication sure, but Nyquil. Nope. That's for colds. Not food poisoning. So he's clearly lying to the OP. Liars get really detailed with their story too. Just an fyi.

 

The only time you'd call a doctor or go to the hospital is when your food poisoning symptoms last for 3 days or more. That's when serious dehydration sets in. But 2 days? That's normal for food poisoning to run its course, and then self-treatment of administering fluids and then eventually soup and crackers until you can eat normal meals again about a week later. The BRAT diet is recommended (bananas, rice, apple sauce and toast).

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Maybe I'm just over analyzing, but an hour ago he posted on Facebook and said, "some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you!" Any idea what that means? From what I gather it's a quote from a movie, but I have no idea what it means.

 

Yeah you are why would you care about that lol

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Me too. Especially the added touch of the Nyquil he told the OP he was going to take. No doctor would advise a food poisoned patient to take anything over the counter like Nyquil, after a serious bout of food poisoning, especially if they were treated at the hospital (they'd have to be admitted more than 2 days and given anti nausea medicine and IV fluids). Anti nausea medication sure, but Nyquil. Nope. That's for colds. Not food poisoning. So he's clearly lying to the OP. Liars get really detailed with their story too. Just an fyi.

 

The only time you'd call a doctor or go to the hospital is when your food poisoning symptoms last for 3 days or more. That's when serious dehydration sets in. But 2 days? That's normal for food poisoning to run its course, and then self-treatment of administering fluids and then eventually soup and crackers until you can eat normal meals again about a week later. The BRAT diet is recommended (bananas, rice, apple sauce and toast).

 

Well since there is three people on this forum saying they also never seen someone admitted for food poisioning I think that count would grow larger since it seems to be well known knowledge. I think you have your answer hes a bad lier and a stupid one for not knowing any facts to back it up.

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Maybe I'm just over analyzing, but an hour ago he posted on Facebook and said, "some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you!" Any idea what that means? From what I gather it's a quote from a movie, but I have no idea what it means.

 

Ugh, it's so obvious that he's lying through his teeth to you about the food poisoning. Like Jules Dash said, anyone with food poisoning symptoms would spend just a few hours in the ER getting IV fluids, some anti nausea meds, an x-ray or scan of their abdomen and then they get sent home.

 

Yes, you are over-analyzing his Facebook post. Leave him be. Delete him and ignore any future communication from him.

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His story reeks of BS. I read your post and I said "now here is a guy who has low interest in this woman and has about 2 or 3 other women he is dating that he is more interested in."

 

BTW, they don't hospitalize you for food poisoning. They give you IV fluids, take abdominal xrays, run basic labs and send you home.

 

Food poisoning doesn't cause a fever either.

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How 'bout you just give him the benefit of the doubt at this point? You barely know him.

 

If he continues to be flakey, you'll have your answer. You lose nothing by giving him another chance, except for maybe the few hours it takes for you to have a date.

 

She actually does lose because she sends this guy a message that it's ok to act this way. He may date her for awhile and not pull this again for another 3 wks and then he does. Look at all the time invested. In cases like this, it's better to just move on. His stories are crap.

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i was Admitted into an After hr care Clinic for dehydration from food poisoning. They hooked me to an IV for about an hr or two and sent me

home after i received enough fluids.

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She actually does lose because she sends this guy a message that it's ok to act this way. He may date her for awhile and not pull this again for another 3 wks and then he does. Look at all the time invested. In cases like this, it's better to just move on. His stories are crap.

 

I made the decision that I'm not going to waste anymore of my time on him. I've blocked him from calling or texting me. I think knowing how I feel right now, even if we did end up going on a 2nd and 3rd date, there would be this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, or have that feeling that he couldn't be trusted. And I don't think not trusting someone is a good way to start a relationship. Trust is everything.

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Whether or not the story is a complete lie, there's definitely some fishy elements:

 

1) He only gave the details after OP expressed anger about his lack of communication. Why wouldn't he have explained right off the bat that he was in the hospital?

2) As others have said... two days in the hospital for food poisoning isn't common. So this would have been a really dramatic case.

3) The Nyquil thing also strikes me as weird. Even a civilian can know that's not what he should be taking right now.

 

It's so hard to call someone out on lying with something like this, though. OP, I don't know, if you're seriously interested in him maybe it's worth trying to meet up with him once more -- see what he has to say and what sort of vibe you get.

 

Approach it with some caution. Because if that WAS a lie, that's a big one that indicates some problems. It's weird and almost pathological. Indicates an untrustworthy person.

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Oh, @thisisrightnow, just read your update. That sounds like the right call, with the feeling in your gut being that strong. I know you blocked him, but I'm curious if he'll try to reach you in other ways or whether he'll also let the thing drop.

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I made the decision that I'm not going to waste anymore of my time on him. I've blocked him from calling or texting me. I think knowing how I feel right now, even if we did end up going on a 2nd and 3rd date, there would be this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, or have that feeling that he couldn't be trusted. And I don't think not trusting someone is a good way to start a relationship. Trust is everything.

 

I think this is the best decision. Whenever we ignore our instincts, we always end up regretting it. I think you just dodged a bullet.

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