dagur Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 So I met this guy in a club 3 weeks ago. We had a fun night dancing together and talked a bit over drinks (but it was very loud). He said he'd like to have a drink with me another time, I said why not. He added me on fb and we started chatting. Finally 4 days later he asked me out, but since I was going to be gone that week I suggested the week after. He continued writing me messages on fb, when I was online too we chatted a lot, got to know each other better. When I got back after my trip he asked me out again, I agreed since he seemed decent (usually I don't meet guys I met in clubs...). We had a great first date, ending in kissing. He wrote me the next day to have lunch together, but since I was already with friends we decided to meet late afternoon for a short coffee break. This was also very nice, ending in kisses. The next day he texted me, saying he missed me. I was going to be gone again that weekend, and amongst other messages, he mentioned he wished we could meet that weekend. I got back and we had lunch together, it was nice, but on campus so a different atmosphere. He texted me the next day to see if we could meet again, but I was at a friend's house. Instead we met the day after that. This date went ok, maybe not quite as passionate as no. 1 and 2, but still with some flirting, kissing etc. Up until the last date, he was writing me a lot, seemed eager to see me and flirting a lot when we chatted. The thing is that I honestly wasn't flirting much (i.e. if I just met a guy, I'm not calling him sweetie and writing miss you so much etc.) Also, he was always the one initiating the kissing, taking my hand etc. I usually need some time to get to know a guy before I do all this, plus I don't have that much dating experience (whereas he has had 4 relationships). Anyway, when I wrote him Saturday I also mentioned that it would be nice if we could meet this weekend. He said he was really busy with work and studying for exams (me too, exams are in 6 weeks...). Still, I hoped he would've made time in the evenings... (then again, he still lives with his parents (23 yrs.) and has obligations there...). I don't know, if he is a) not that interested anymore in general b) not interested because he thinks I'm not that interested because I wasn't as flirty as him and didn't initiate much c) truly just busy d) just wanted to have a break to build up some tension or something?? Should I text him Monday or Tuesday and suggest we meet up? And be very neutral (Let's meet) or something a bit more flirty, or showing my feelings (like I really enjoyed the last dates, and I missed you these past days) I don't want him to think I'm desperate, but I do want him to know I am still (very) interested.... Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 He is either answer B or C. Most likely C (he is truly busy) from what you've wrote. Yes you should follow up with him Monday/Tuesday, and do show interest. A man requires reciprocated interest, otherwise he figures you were playing games. So put some flirt into your messages and when being together in person. Obviously don't go beyond your comfort level, just flirt enough to give enough reciprocation at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagur Posted November 25, 2014 Author Share Posted November 25, 2014 Ok update: I texted him and asked whether he had time for lunch or coffee today. He said we could meet for a quick break in the afternoon (on campus), which we did. We had a nice discussion, but at the end we didn't kiss. Does this mean it's over or should I give it one last chance and see if we can meet up later this week (if he doesn't text me)? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 Do you want to give him one last chance? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 If he wants to date you, he will contact you and ask you out without your reminders. I'm sure he's thinking, God she's treating me like a five-year-old, doesn't she think I'm capable of picking up the phone when and if I'm ready to see her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagur Posted November 25, 2014 Author Share Posted November 25, 2014 I know, I just don't want him to think that I was never that interested anyway... because I was. Plus, way did he agree to meet if he didn't want to see me? He could've just as easily said that he was too busy in the lab. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 We had a nice discussion, but at the end we didn't kiss. I know, I just don't want him to think that I was never that interested anyway... because I was. Did you guys flirt with each other at all? Did you try putting your hands on his during the "discussion"? Did he to you? There are other ways of showing interest aside from just kissing. Also, if you didn't give him signals, he may not want to come across as a douchebag that disrespects your personal space. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagur Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 Thanks everyone for the advice, in the end it all worked out I think I was just overanalysing..... Link to post Share on other sites
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