Is invisible profile on OLD a red flag?

[Destined2B]

I'm contemplating giving OLD a try. I don't want my profile to be visible to the public. A couple of questions:

 

Do people find it suspicious when a profile is invisible?

 

Do a lot of people make their profile invisible?

 

Thanks!

[FitChick]

If I get a like, wink or even an email from someone with a hidden profile I ignore them.

[Destined2B]

If I get a like, wink or even an email from someone with a hidden profile I ignore them.

 

Why? You don't think some men just want to avoid messages from creepy/pervy/older women?

[Eternal Sunshine]

I ignore them because I think they are probably married and hiding from the wife or serious gf. If I am game enough to have my profile visible I don't see why he wouldn't...

[Mascara]

Yeah I ignored them too. Seemed a bit shady.

 

Have you ever done OLD before? Most men say they get very few messages, it wouldn't be much work to avoid / reject the ones you're not interested in. But you'd also miss messages from those you WOULD be interested in.

[Brimstone]

Most men say they get very few messages, it wouldn't be much work to avoid

 

I thought this until I signed up and got WAY bigger response that I ever imagined. My profile is invisible because of that reason. Plus I'm not currently actively looking for someone, so if you are I would suggest having a "public" profile to meet a lot of new people. That's why you're there, right?

 

Personally, if I find someone on there that I find interesting, I remove my invisibility cloak to better my chance at getting a response. Having said that, I have gotten replies when I was invisible as well... To each his/her own.

[angel.eyes]

I ignore.

 

Why are you interested in hiding your profile?

[Destined2B]

I understand women have their guard up when doing OLD so it makes sense that a having hidden profile with good pictures would increase their suspicion even more. Funny, but I don't think many men would be opposed to a hidden profile from women.

 

Main reason why I want my profile hidden is because of my work and my location. I work in PR and deal with A LOT of people in a small community. I don't want to openly advertise my single status to people I have no interest in. Rather, I'd want to reach out to people in other parts of my city. Doesn't that sound like an honest explanation?

[J21]

I understand women have their guard up when doing OLD so it makes sense that a having hidden profile with good pictures would increase their suspicion even more. Funny, but I don't think many men would be opposed to a hidden profile from women.

 

Main reason why I want my profile hidden is because of my work and my location. I work in PR and deal with A LOT of people in a small community. I don't want to openly advertise my single status to people I have no interest in. Rather, I'd want to reach out to people in other parts of my city. Doesn't that sound like an honest explanation?

There is nothing wrong with being single and looking for a significant other (or whatever you're looking for). I can understand you don't want to advertise your single status, but only other (supposedly) single people will be on the site searching too. If they cast judgement because you are single, it's like the tea pot calling the kettle black.

 

You are being self conscious about nothing in my opinion.

[writergal]

I understand women have their guard up when doing OLD so it makes sense that a having hidden profile with good pictures would increase their suspicion even more. Funny, but I don't think many men would be opposed to a hidden profile from women.

 

Main reason why I want my profile hidden is because of my work and my location. I work in PR and deal with A LOT of people in a small community. I don't want to openly advertise my single status to people I have no interest in. Rather, I'd want to reach out to people in other parts of my city. Doesn't that sound like an honest explanation?

 

Strangers on a dating website can't read your mind or know your true intentions for hiding your profile. They'll just assume you're hiding your profile because you're cheating on your wife or girlfriend, or you're a pervert or serial killer.

 

Maybe OLD isn't the route to go for you, if you are worried about your work colleagues finding out that you are trying out online dating? Eventually, someone who knows someone, who knows you, will find out you have an OLD profile. And depending on their character, will either keep it to themselves or blab about it to your mutual work colleagues. So your fear of being discovered is justified. It's how the world works.

 

So you have to ask yourself, is finding a compatible woman to date worth the risk of creating a profile you keep public? If it's not, then don't even bother doing OLD.

 

I've run across some of my male friends' profiles purely by chance since I started OLD again 2 months ago which surprised me, because the last time I'd seen or spoke to them they were engaged to or living with women I know. If anyone I know has come across my OLD profile, they've kept it to themselves. I mean, what other people think of me is none of my business.