Is she attracted/flirting (woman at work)?

[dl02]

There is a woman who I work with who recently has been acting odd near me. We work in opposite ends of the building (so I haven't seen much of her, as I have only worked there 4 months) but do occasionally have to work together.

 

Firstly, around 3 months ago when we first met she passed me and smiled. I of course thought nothing of it. This occurred a few times.

 

However, recently we've been seeing more of each other. I saw her looking at me from behind (reflection) and when I looked around, she quickly stopped looking and started playing with her hair, nervously looking away and avoiding eye contact.

 

The largest give away was when I walked past her, said 'hello' (knowing she would look away) and tried to make eye contact. She blatantly looked away, staring at the wall and after a two second pause said 'hi' in an excited voice. Almost falling over.

 

Yesterday, I almost walked into her and said sorry. She looked away, said nothing and started having a laughing fit. She then avoided entering the same room I was going in. I was also talking to the cleaner and she joined in but refused to look at or speak to me (is this a sign if disinterest as she didn't even acknowledge me)?

 

Today, I was talking to her. She seemed fine briefly, smiled and looked down. I then (later) had another conversation. She smiled looked down and had an awkward look on her face (not smiling). Why was this?

 

The thing is, she seems fine with everybody else (or at least better, as she is a nervous person). I know I could be intimidating her but I don't know why. I always smile and act friendly. Is this a sign of attraction? Why does she glance, look away and almost never make eye contact?

[newmoon]

these types of posts are bizarre, because short of actually engaging this person in an actual conversation there are about 1,000+ different reasons why she could be looking at you and smiling, or not smiling, or glancing, or etc. you could look weird and dress weird to her, you could look like prince charming to her, you might have toilet paper stuck to your shoe and she's laughing at you coyly, who knows. TALK TO HER... it's like magic! and doesn't leave you wondering what an errant smile or non-smile means.

[dl02]

these types of posts are bizarre, because short of actually engaging this person in an actual conversation there are about 1,000+ different reasons why she could be looking at you and smiling, or not smiling, or glancing, or etc. you could look weird and dress weird to her, you could look like prince charming to her, you might have toilet paper stuck to your shoe and she's laughing at you coyly, who knows. TALK TO HER... it's like magic! and doesn't leave you wondering what an errant smile or non-smile means.

 

True. It does seem like a glance which shows interest. How can I talk to her without seeming strange? She seems to deliberately look away and twirl her hair.

[newmoon]

True. It does seem like a glance which shows interest. How can I talk to her without seeming strange? She seems to deliberately look away and twirl her hair.

 

Hi (insert name)... how are you today?

And then ask a work related question - you're still new so that would be a good opportunity to talk and get her to help you with something. Ask where something in the building is, or about the upcoming holiday party at your office, etc. If you keep it work-related it won't be strange or weird. Busting out with personal questions after such limited interaction isn't good and you don't want your workplace to be awkward if things aren't going in the direction you hope.

[dl02]

Hi (insert name)... how are you today?

And then ask a work related question - you're still new so that would be a good opportunity to talk and get her to help you with something. Ask where something in the building is, or about the upcoming holiday party at your office, etc. If you keep it work-related it won't be strange or weird. Busting out with personal questions after such limited interaction isn't good and you don't want your workplace to be awkward if things aren't going in the direction you hope.

 

I want to know - why would a woman act in a way I described?

[Puie]

If you're interested in her, engage in conversation with her. She sounds like she has a crush on you, but not willing to make the first step.

[dl02]

If you're interested in her, engage in conversation with her. She sounds like she has a crush on you, but not willing to make the first step.

 

One of the first 'real' conversations and this happens:

 

Today, I was talking to her. She seemed fine briefly, smiled and looked down. I then (later) had another conversation. She smiled looked down and had an awkward look on her face (not smiling). Why was this?

 

This concerns me.

[todreaminblue]

One of the first 'real' conversations and this happens:

 

 

 

This concerns me.

 

 

she is probably shy and doesnt want you to realize she is interested.......the more you talk to her the more you will know...either way......talking to her is not bad you know..its not bad to have a conversation with someone as long as you are respectful ..so talk to her and go from there......deb

[dl02]

she is probably shy and doesnt want you to realize she is interested.......the more you talk to her the more you will know...either way......talking to her is not bad you know..its not bad to have a conversation with someone as long as you are respectful ..so talk to her and go from there......deb

 

But why the almost look of disgust. At least, the smile seemed to vanish from her face...

[mrs rubble]

But why the almost look of disgust. At least, the smile seemed to vanish from her face...

Did you say something offensive? Have a boogie hanging out your nose? Bad breath?

[preraph]

Just say hello and introduce yourself if she doesn't know it already. Remark on the weather or how slow the elevator is or anything. Just have a conversation and stop overthinking it.

[dl02]

Well, I had a conversation with her. She initiated eye contact the whole time. I just hope she doesn't loose interest as I haven't seen her for 2 days. I joked and she burst out with the most awkward laugh. I've also seen her looking from a distance.

 

She smiled the whole time and looked at me. On the way out that day I passed her again, she looked down and shouted 'hello!'.

 

Are these positive signs of interest?

[neowulf]

Taking a step back for a second, think about why you're on a forum asking these questions in the first place.

 

The reason? You're trying to be "sure". The people here, on this forum, can't give you that. Her reasons are her own. There's no way to "know" expect to take the risk and ask her.

 

You have to be willing to be wrong, to look foolish. I promise, it won't kill you.

 

There's only one thing you need to ask yourself;

 

Am I interested in taking this girl on a date?

 

Doesn't matter if she likes you. Doesn't matter if she's keen, what signals she's giving. None of that matters.

 

If you like her, find her attractive, ask her out. Stop wasting so much energy trying to be "sure".

[PogoStick]

Are you sure she isn't autistic?

[youdunsay]

Crush on you, most likely.

[todreaminblue]

But why the almost look of disgust. At least, the smile seemed to vanish from her face...

 

 

she could have been thinking of you naked.......kidding...although to combat this shyness that i often have in social and speakign situations, i had a favourite teacher tell me to do this if i had to public speak...... imagine everyone in underwear....worse thing i ever did was stand in front of a class and picture a whole heap of high school students in their underwear......couldnt speak....just kept laughing and ...blushing spent the rest of the debate when i managed to control myself...looking at a spot on the back wall...acute shyness..i did get best speaker though...because i am a passionate speaker when i have a prepared speech ...its jsut the dang shyness ....

 

 

i feel she probably really likes you and is frustrated at her shyness...look of disgust was internal and relative to her feelings probably nothing to do with you so not an externally driven facial expression, the elevated hello while looking down......lack of control..the brightness in her speech not relating to her body language....twirling her hair.....thats all for you..deb

Edited November 27, 2014 by todreaminblue

[dl02]

Well, I had to spend two hours with her today (work related). She started asking me more personal questions, such as what I do etc. and made eye contact while talking. She laughed at my jokes and was generally talkative. There were some awkward pauses though, even after I said something, but on the whole it went well. Her speech also seemed elevated. Obviously, I still feel like I'm speculating. She seemed to get on with her work, more so than talking but would often stop what she was doing? I'm really not sure if she is interested but suppose some of her signs suggest so?

[dl02]

Well, I had to spend two hours with her today (work related). She started asking me more personal questions, such as what I do etc. and made eye contact while talking. She laughed at my jokes and was generally talkative. There were some awkward pauses though, even after I said something, but on the whole it went well. Her speech also seemed elevated. Obviously, I still feel like I'm speculating. She seemed to get on with her work, more so than talking but would often stop what she was doing? I'm really not sure if she is interested but suppose some of her signs suggest so?

 

To add to this she also looked me up and down.

[dl02]

Again, today I spoke to her, she was making more conversation with me. Presumably, this shows interest

 

One glaring issue. She's 26 and I'm 18. Basically, I told her I was 26 (pure chance I guessed her age because she excitedly said 'Wow! That's my age'. There's only 8 years difference and I've played along with it. Not for malicious purposes. Purely to make myself seem older and be taken more seriously. Now what?