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What are some good topics of conversation to avoid awkward silences?


greenman77

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What are some good general topics of conversation to keep in the back of my mind just in case we run out of things to talk about? Going on a date and I'm not much of a talker and I don't want any awkward silences. I would appreciate the help!

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Movies, music, hobbies/interests...if you're shy let them do most of the talking and just smile and laugh and seem very interested...As much as possible without being a chatter box.

 

 

Best of luck to you!

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Thanks for the response. The problem is that she's also kind of shy. This would be our second date and there were some awkward silences in the first date. I just want to be prepared for them with some topics in mind.

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evanescentworld

Try to be completely natural, and maybe also explain you're a shy guy and not a great talker.... The more you 'try' being what you're not, or forcing situations because you feel awkward, the more awkward it could become.

 

Keep discussion 'safe'.... don't talk about anything too personal like families, ex-loves (obviously!) or past experiences.... talk about favourite holidays, or where you'd like to go.... professional plans and ambitions.... that kind of stuff....

 

But you know, silences don't always need filling....

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There's nothing wrong with periods of silence.

 

I'm the same way, it helps me if I mention to them before hand that I'm on the quieter side. But when I meet people, it ends up being ok.. The conversation flows. Don't worry about it too much. :-)

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Thanks for the response. The problem is that she's also kind of shy. This would be our second date and there were some awkward silences in the first date. I just want to be prepared for them with some topics in mind.

 

Well, there's enough going on in the world to talk about, that's for sure. Talk about things she told you about on your first date. THAT shows you were paying attention to her and remember what she told you. A guy remembering what a girl tells them a few days, weeks, months later is a big deal. It really is. I've been told by a man that that's how you know a guy is really into you. And he's 100% right. We find it very flattering and meaningful.

 

There's also plenty to discuss about the holidays which are quickly approaching. (=

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there are tons of things: movies, current events, family, the holidays and how you guys celebrate, places you dream of living or traveling to, musical tastes, your jobs or school, etc. tons of stuff... if you keep the date short even better

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I always talk about what is around me right now - people, scenery, the menu, whatever.

It opens things up to observation.

 

 

You could ask her if she likes a film and she might just say. 'yep, great film'.................................................................

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Thegreatestthing

Why do they have blue maple syrup in the us? Why did people stop wearing folk costumes? What does papillon mean? Why did Van Gogh cut off his ear?

Where does the swastika really come from?

 

Actually :

What is the weirdest thing about you to most ?

Do you believe in soul mates?

What is your dream job?

Which living celebrity/author/singer would you like to know?

If you could meet a famous dead person, whom would you like to meet?

Etc

Edited by Thegreatestthing
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Poppygoodwill

if you don't know what to say, then ask her questions that require complex answers...tell me about your favourite thing to do when you were a kid? What did you do on your last vacation? If you could travel anywhere in teh world, where - and why? etc etc.

 

She'll be flattered because you're asking, and you'll learn a lot.

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Learning to be comfortable in silence is an art.

 

Topics of conversation include:

 

current events (stick to the non-controversial ones)

 

favorites: foods, books, movies, music, vacation spots, etc.

 

childhood: where were they educated?; where did they grow up?; pets?: traditions (especially because U.S. Thanksgiving is next week & Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanza is around the corner)

 

hobbies

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How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

 

How old were you when you realised Santa wasn't real? And sorry if I just ruined Christmas for you.

 

What's the worst date you've ever been on, not counting this one? (Should at least raise a smile)

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Talk about different possible apocalypse scenarios (zombies can be included*) and how ya'll would survive... or not survive. Always fun to talk about* :cool:

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be careful with the zombie Apocalypse Qs. If I was asked this, I'd give some goofy answer but change the subject. If my date didn't follow the topic change but kept coming back to this, I might not be open to another date or a good night kiss.

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normal person
Learning to be comfortable in silence is an art.

 

Topics of conversation include:

 

current events (stick to the non-controversial ones)

 

favorites: foods, books, movies, music, vacation spots, etc.

 

I've got to disagree with you here, on the surface at least. These things are all relatively trivial compared to other things you could be talking about. Learning that someone likes spaghetti, Stephen King, James Bond Movies, etc doesn't really tell you that much about a person. They're just facts. If you listed them on an online dating profile they'd make no difference to someone reading them one or the other. I find the conversations that are fun and engaging don't start with "what," they start with "why."

 

The bigger issue is not what the person likes, but why they like it and what it says about them. Asking someone their favorite movie out of the blue is about as forced and awkward as you can get. Diving deeper and figuring out what the person's choice says about them is a much more beneficial conversation. I find the fun, engaging conversations don't start with "what...?", they start with "why...?"

Edited by normal person
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I've got to disagree with you here, on the surface at least. These things are all relatively trivial compared to other things you could be talking about. Learning that someone likes spaghetti, Stephen King, James Bond Movies, etc doesn't really tell you that much about a person. They're just facts. If you listed them on an online dating profile they'd make no difference to someone reading them one or the other. I find the conversations that are fun and engaging don't start with "what," they start with "why."

 

The bigger issue is not what the person likes, but why they like it and what it says about them. Asking someone their favorite movie out of the blue is about as forced and awkward as you can get. Diving deeper and figuring out what the person's choice says about them is a much more beneficial conversation. I find the fun, engaging conversations don't start with "what...?", they start with "why...?"

 

Absolutely! I agree 100% but I think a 2nd date is too soon to get too personal. Brick by brick...

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A great conversationalist can start the conversation off with talking about a spot on the wall and quickly progress from there to very interesting conversation. Once you learn to handle conversation flow, the possibilities are endless.

 

Flowing from one topic to another is just as important if not more important than the topic itself. You can simply keep someone engaged in small talk with good conversation flow and knowing how to adjust the topic from the reaction or body language of the person you are talking with. This is why I think a superficial knowledge of stuff going on in the news alone is a good starting point and learning how to flow into many of those areas is a great art to focus on. Always look into the eyes pf the person you are talking to keep them engaged and judge how they react to the topic.

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be careful with the zombie Apocalypse Qs. If I was asked this, I'd give some goofy answer but change the subject. If my date didn't follow the topic change but kept coming back to this, I might not be open to another date or a good night kiss.

 

Yes, but that's true for any topic and is basic social skills... When someone changes the subject you don't keep dragging it back to the same one. If he isnt aware of that, no end of interesting questions are going to save his date!

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Ask her what her favorite (fill in the blank) is and go from there. So, what's your favorite car? Oh yeah? Have you seen the new ones? What do you like about them so much? You get the idea. The more you ask about her, and the less you talk about yourself, the more points you will score, trust me.

Edited by Cedar27
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