likethe Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 So a few weeks ago I met this girl in a bar. She ended up giving me her number and we arranged to meet a few days later. It was a great first date, nice meal and wine in a restaurant with lots of talking and laughing, with a nice amount of flirting. Afterwards we took a walk along the beach - holding hands, kissing, stopping to watch the ocean whilst cuddling and talking about life. We parted ways very amicably, cuddling and occasionally kissing in the station whilst we waited for her train. We met again the next day, though only for a couple of hours given we both have quite busy schedules and she had to go to work. It was more of the same, lots of talking, laughing and flirting with a very sweet kiss at the end. We arranged to hang out a third time and had a date on the beach for a few hours. It was fantastic and felt like we'd stepped it up a notch. Cuddling the whole time, more talking and laughing, holding hands, playful flirting and lots more kissing this time. She thanked me for asking her out and suggested possible future plans including going away for Christmas. Again, she had to leave as she'd already arranged to meet some friends that night so we parted ways on a positive note. The next morning she texted me saying she had a great time, calling me nice things and all that. We arranged to hang out again - this time at my place to have dinner and watch a movie or two - but she didn't know her schedule for the next week so we agreed to leave it till she was available. We stayed in touch for the next few days, messaging each other like we normally do, and she left for a few days to visit family. That's when the silence started and she started ignoring me, stopped replying to my messages. A week went by without hearing from her when I bumped into her in town one night, and we small-talked a little bit with her saying she'll text me. She did text me the next day, telling me that it was nice to see me again and we continued talking for a few hours before she just suddenly stopped replying again, and now it seems like she's back to ignoring me. I'm just... so confused. Where do I stand? Why did she ignore me for a week, then text me after we bumped into each other saying it was nice to see me before ignoring me again? I like this girl a lot and it seemed like she felt the same way but this silence is maddening. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 She was visiting her family and caught up in that. That's what she should be doing. She's been in touch since then. Give her a call and talk to her. If you get the sense she's still interested, ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
martaldn Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 she is either playing the hard to get or she might has somebody else back in her life. i would wait for her to contact you and in case make a proper plan together ( decide a day and something to do ) if she flakes again ( or cancel ) just leave it her loss not yours! Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I agree it's confusing behavior. She could just be juggling a lot of priorities right now, and you're not making it to the top of the list. Which doesn't necessarily mean she's discarding you. Or she could be dating around right now, so maybe another guy is more of a frontrunner and she's seeing how that goes. But it seems worth keeping in touch with her in a non-aggressive way. Don't be constantly texting her, etc. But maybe let a couple days pass and then make a specific proposal (time/place) for Date #4, and see how she responds. If she continues to ignore you, give up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author likethe Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 Good points guys. You could be right about the dating thing, I forgot to mention that during the week of silence she posted on Facebook about a 'date night' so it might very well be that. She is well within her rights to date who she pleases when she wants to, it just really bummed me out because of how well we were getting along and the fact she told me that I'm the first guy she's been interested in for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Good points guys. You could be right about the dating thing, I forgot to mention that during the week of silence she posted on Facebook about a 'date night' so it might very well be that. She is well within her rights to date who she pleases when she wants to, it just really bummed me out because of how well we were getting along and the fact she told me that I'm the first guy she's been interested in for a while. Yeah, that sounds kinda sh*tty. And it's weird that she would act that way if she wasn't interested in taking you seriously. Don't give up on her entirely yet, but keep your expectations low. Link to post Share on other sites
Brooke02 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Good points guys. she posted on Facebook about a 'date night' so it might very well be that. There's your answer, she's chatting it up with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author likethe Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Well, that's that guys. I asked her a few days ago if she'd like to go ice skating with me and she said she's been before and it was rubbish, so she declined. Last night she posted a photo of herself with a guy at the same ice skating rink. I'm absolutely gutted, I really liked her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 I'm so sorry she did that to you. A small positive note: you knew in your gut something was wrong so you have good instincts. They will serve you well going forward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
martaldn Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Well, that's that guys. I asked her a few days ago if she'd like to go ice skating with me and she said she's been before and it was rubbish, so she declined. Last night she posted a photo of herself with a guy at the same ice skating rink. I'm absolutely gutted, I really liked her. sorry OP, tactless but what can you do? just move on and ignore her from now on... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author likethe Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 (edited) Just an update because I need to vent more than anything. This morning it popped up on my feed that she's now in a relationship with that guy she went ice skating with, so she went from being all over me and telling me I'm the first guy she's been interested in in a long time, to ignoring me and hooking up with some other guy all within 2 weeks. I'm pissed off more than anything. I would have preferred she just be honest instead of ignoring me like a child. Edited November 21, 2014 by likethe Link to post Share on other sites
RebelWithoutACause Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Sounds like you dodged a flaky, dishonest bullet there. Don't be pissed off, be glad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 It happens. The main thing is that she wasn't upfront with you on this. Move along - and de friend her on FB Link to post Share on other sites
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