Should girlfriend comes before friends??

[MapleWish]

And I do mean to an extent, not all day every day. Im starting to get upset because the guy I'm dating is spending more time with his best friend than me. They work in the same place so they see each other and talk to each other every day at work, they're in the same apartment complex not roommates but practically act like it, my bf is over at his best friend's place nearly every night because his game system is over there and they play games all night and he sleeps on his buddie's couch. So they see each other every morning, day, and night. And the times I get to see him are when he's off work at 530 but generally he's already tired by then so we just end up staying in and watching movies at my place, he doesn't spend the night though. His apartment is disarray right now and he doesn't want me over just yet.

Yes I am you could say by all meaning a clingy girlfriend but the guy I'm dating told me he's ok with that. I'm not so clingy I text a guy every 5 seconds and call him every minute and need aaaalll his attention bla bla bla, no I'm clingy but in a good way. I like to give the guy a lot of my attention but not all of it, just enough to where he knows I like him and like showing it, I've always been this way.

I told my guy I do get jealous if he spends more time with his best friend than me and I believe time spent with me should be like 60% and the other 40% should be with his best friend and other guy friends, once again my boyfriend says he's ok with that. He likes clingy and possessive and likes when the girl wants to spend time with him. But yet I won't argue if he ends up spending more time with his best friend than me cause the whole clingy double standard, where if a guy is clingy it's cute but if a girl is all "but I wanted to spend time with you" it's clingy and not attractive, it's unfair, I see my girlfriends too but during the day, so at night I have time for my bf. and my girls are the same way with their guys, girl time during the day and boyfriend time at night. My boyfriend is understanding and sees it from my point of view but more often than not I compromise and am like "ok have fun" even though I'm screaming inside that I wanted to spend time with him.

Last night him and his bestie got home from church close to 9pm and he texted me they were gonna stay in and watch netflix. But in the past he's been outside my workplace by my car around 10pm waiting for me to get off work to spend time with me. He can hang out with me around 10 but close to 9 he chooses his bestie and netflix over me? It's still early in our relationship but he says he's ok with clingy so frankly idk what to do. Remind him he gets to see his best friend every day for hours on end and he should spend time with me?

[d0nnivain]

There has to be a balance. If you think you are not a priority to this guy, you may not be. I wouldn't stick around to play 2nd fiddle to his bromance but that's just me.

[Keenly]

You really need to chill out. 60 40? Where did you come up.with that ratio? You left out the part about where HE gets a say in what he does with his time.

 

 

You're going to slowly push him away if you keep letting this get to you. As long as he sets aside time for you, you shouldn't be trying to control what he does in his free time. You don't own his time.

[MapleWish]

i came up with that ratio on my own but as stated above HE says HE'S ok with that, he likes me wanting most of his time and he even said he believes it should be that way too, spending more time with the girl than the guy. he's a firm believer in the old timey romance, like when a man comes home from work and it should just be him and his girl spending a night together at home

[d0nnivain]

If he says he believes in "old-timey romance" you have to remember that actions speak louder than words.

[Keenly]

This guy is just agreeing with everything you say to keep you happy

That's what it sounds like anyway.

[D-Fens]

Partners should come before friends, generally speaking, in an established relationship. In a new relationship I think it's healthier to purposefully spend time with friends and not neglect them. To be honest, if someone told me how much time I was expected to spend with them, it would concern me, your boyfriend may say he doesn't mind but his actions show otherwise.

 

Good luck!

[Redhead14]

And I do mean to an extent, not all day every day. Im starting to get upset because the guy I'm dating is spending more time with his best friend than me. They work in the same place so they see each other and talk to each other every day at work, they're in the same apartment complex not roommates but practically act like it, my bf is over at his best friend's place nearly every night because his game system is over there and they play games all night and he sleeps on his buddie's couch. So they see each other every morning, day, and night. And the times I get to see him are when he's off work at 530 but generally he's already tired by then so we just end up staying in and watching movies at my place, he doesn't spend the night though. His apartment is disarray right now and he doesn't want me over just yet.

Yes I am you could say by all meaning a clingy girlfriend but the guy I'm dating told me he's ok with that. I'm not so clingy I text a guy every 5 seconds and call him every minute and need aaaalll his attention bla bla bla, no I'm clingy but in a good way. I like to give the guy a lot of my attention but not all of it, just enough to where he knows I like him and like showing it, I've always been this way.

I told my guy I do get jealous if he spends more time with his best friend than me and I believe time spent with me should be like 60% and the other 40% should be with his best friend and other guy friends, once again my boyfriend says he's ok with that. He likes clingy and possessive and likes when the girl wants to spend time with him. But yet I won't argue if he ends up spending more time with his best friend than me cause the whole clingy double standard, where if a guy is clingy it's cute but if a girl is all "but I wanted to spend time with you" it's clingy and not attractive, it's unfair, I see my girlfriends too but during the day, so at night I have time for my bf. and my girls are the same way with their guys, girl time during the day and boyfriend time at night. My boyfriend is understanding and sees it from my point of view but more often than not I compromise and am like "ok have fun" even though I'm screaming inside that I wanted to spend time with him.

Last night him and his bestie got home from church close to 9pm and he texted me they were gonna stay in and watch netflix. But in the past he's been outside my workplace by my car around 10pm waiting for me to get off work to spend time with me. He can hang out with me around 10 but close to 9 he chooses his bestie and netflix over me? It's still early in our relationship but he says he's ok with clingy so frankly idk what to do. Remind him he gets to see his best friend every day for hours on end and he should spend time with me?

 

Don't remind him how often he sees his friend. The next time he says he's spending time with his friend, you say, I love spending time with you, but I want you to do what you want to do, enjoy the day/evening whatever. Then you say you are going out and will be home around 10. And, make yourself very busy, enjoy your life. Hopefully, your schedule will be so full as to make it so you are not available very often when he wants to get together with you. I'm not saying play games, really make yourself busy. If he finds you are not available when he wants to see you, he should realize how that feels for you and hopefully will start making more time for you. When you haven't been available a couple of times and he comes to you and wants to see you, you tell him you will make time for him and then schedule something. If he doesn't catch on, then he's not really as invested in the relationship as you are.